Drugs: do you HAVE to use them in order to be attractive?
- Thread starter Renegade
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How does this even happen?
Skiing or snowboarding.
There's a chance you hit your head on a tree trunk and split your skull open (happened to my aunt).
But once you get good, just think of all the snow bunnies.
If "risk my health to fit in" is the game we're playing, I would start there.
I knew a guy (via a forum) who behaved in every single way like an autist, every relationship he had played out like an autist's, all the social problems he had were 100% autistic. Everyone who knew him would say he was autistic. But he would declare that he had been tested for autism and found not autistic, and that people were always diagnosing him from forum posts as being autistic and they were wrong.
Anyway, we can call it "autistic presenting" rather than "autistic", maybe.
Stop Repelling People with Your Uncharitable Assumptions
People often make uncharitable assumptions about each other. But when you do this, and tell the other person, you tear your relationship with him or her to shreds. A few years back I wrote an article about the trouble autistic men have in dating. In it I also talked about my experience as a...
www.girlschase.com
You have spent this entire thread imputing uncharitable intentions to everyone who's responded to you.
I know it will go over your head, but this thread itself is a perfect example of your "I don't fit in" problem:
- Closed mindedness (everyone else is wrong)
- Unusual thoughts ("I have to do drugs to fit in!")
- Uncharitable assumptions about others (and in particular, others who are trying to help you)
- Complaining about lack of respect from others after antagonizing others with the above behaviors/faux pas
These behaviors are socially repellant, and you engage in them all consistently.
I guarantee you are engaging in them in real life as well.
Doing drugs is not going to make you fit in if you are a closed minded druggie uncharitably assuming things about others then complaining they don't respect you. You will just be that annoying druggie nobody wants to be around. Many such cases.
Things that sound autistic:
- Lack of progress after 3000 approaches
- Continuing to approach despite no progress after the first 50-100 approaches... and doing that repetitively UNTIL 3000
- Extreme closed mindedness / rejection of other solutions
- Unusual thoughts that you float for others to give feedback on then reject all feedback to the contrary (why bother?)
- Uncharitable assumptions
- Complaints about "lack of respect" after repeated and numerous faux pas
- "I have been tested for autism" -- if your behavior is so autistic that you need to test for autism, then whether you are actually autistic or simply "autistic presenting", you are effectively autistic, at least as far as other people trying to navigate your autistic-like behavior are concerned
- The fact that you need endless clarification to minute levels of detail about simple concepts you should be able to understand intuitively on your own (such as: why people keep thinking you're autistic, for one)
Fix all those and you will present as less autistic.
Chase
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Yeah, I wanted to reply (and, against my better judgment, will) despite, after glancing through the first page of this thread, especially when I started seeing the OP's responses, immediately thinking this was a prime case of 100% full-on trolling (with the attendant feeding).
Which is a shame because it can be argued that indeed there are hot young girls today (in the early twenties demographic) who have ink, smoke reefer every day, take the occasional harder drug, and talk about all this as if it were normal (wtf).
And with them, if you wanna smash, the secret is to relate to what she seeks out by using those substances. The way I did it recently was to explain to the girl I was seducing that the feeling I get in the gym when I am fucking up my body in a good way is similar to the feelings I used to get when I consumed drugs (I did from about age 14-24). And she accepted the frame, because she used to do a lot of sport, before she got injured. So that was how she used to relax.
Which is a shame because it can be argued that indeed there are hot young girls today (in the early twenties demographic) who have ink, smoke reefer every day, take the occasional harder drug, and talk about all this as if it were normal (wtf).
And with them, if you wanna smash, the secret is to relate to what she seeks out by using those substances. The way I did it recently was to explain to the girl I was seducing that the feeling I get in the gym when I am fucking up my body in a good way is similar to the feelings I used to get when I consumed drugs (I did from about age 14-24). And she accepted the frame, because she used to do a lot of sport, before she got injured. So that was how she used to relax.
Finally someone who understands. Yes, this is the type of girls I'm talking about. They accept it as normal, post about it on insta stories and get validation for it, and smoked weed since they were 14.
With them, I don't feel like it's easy to relate to them without doing drugs too. The gym example is a good one, but I think you'll still be seen as a "good boy" unless you at least tried drugs (which you have).
And I swear I'm not trolling. I jistvdidnt get a reply as informed as yours yet. People have no clue about this type of girls here, clearly.
Maybe it's your lack of understanding about psychology, but from what I wrote, it's clear that the symptoms come from trauma, not autism.
So it's CPTSD and a lot of BPD traits. These can present as autism, but they are acquired in childhood.
And the way you listed all my shortcomings here.. makes me think you (or most people here) really aren't equipped to help me (which everyone should be - we aren't trying to create an ableist society where healthy people are better off, are we?).
A sensitive person would recognise my triggered state, realise that my replies in this thread are me trying to defend myself and my experience (it feels like life or death to me, literally each time I get a notification from here I get extremely afraid - not kidding), and they would try to validate my experience.
"But this is not Reddit!"
It should be. Times are changing and an empathetic, careful approach is the new norm.
Barbers nowadays ask if they can touch you before they cut your hair. People ask before they give you advice. Old values aren't respected anymore.
What lacks on these boards is this progressive approach.
What prevails instead is a sense of "we are right about the world", which is not a good mindset if we all want to learn from each other.
Extreme sports are good ways to show a lack of fear. But I don't like that either.
If I knew you would reply, this is where the discussion would go: I would write about how it's unfair that we are expected to risk our lives, just to attract the high quality girls.
So while I'm here to get advice, I'm also here to get validation about how nature is messed up, and how we can change the rules to allow the weaker ones to have the same life as the stronger ones.
And if that idea triggers you then you still haven't healed enough.
This place is way too testosterone-y and I don't feel safe and accepted here.
I don't feel strong enough to be around these boards. I wish I was, but being strong, confident and manly scares me. I got punished for it in the past.
Not your fault, but if the mission is to help me, this is important info.
Please incorporate my feedback to make this site more friendly for us, the new generation.
Rude, why little? (This is for you guys who said I'm not getting attacked here)
But okay. I do agree that I'm very needy.
But do you even care about why I'm needy? What made me needy?
I feel like you know that the only solution to neediness is to get the thing you so badly need. For me it's acceptance and love.
But since I can't get it from myself (because I view myself as worthless and I'm willing to fight for this), I have to get it from others.
Children get it from parents. I didn't have those good enough parents that love you and show you you have value.
So now, like it or not, I need others.
It's NOT pathetic to be this way. I didn't choose to be this way. You wouldn't laugh at a disabled person, would you?
I need help, I need someone to love me and that's okay. I will never give up looking for someone who will love me like I will love them.
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I’ve fucked many of these girls. Many who do far more than weed - GHB, MDMA, coke.
I do none of these, and tell them as much.
Who’s badder than the bad boy who doesn’t NEED any of these?
A lot of the times people use these to mask social anxiety, fit in…or to go along with things they’re sober mind would attest to. It’s conformism at its core.
Bad boys don’t conform. Bad girls love them for it.
If a girl cares for your approval enough she’ll stop doing them in hopes you’ll approve of her.
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I agree. But you need to be confident about your decision to be clean.
Which I'm not. As Ibe stated many times, I feel very inferior to people who are brave enough to risk their lives, to say "screw authority" and just do what they want/need.
This thread is really about this mindset, drugs are just one manifestation of it.
I would like to know how to either:
- be confident about my decision to not do drugs (it's not a decision really, I don't do them due to fear)
or
- become the guy who does what he wants.
Which is scary because I need the approval of EVERYONE, unfortunately. So idk who to be, what identity to have in life.
But also, why can't I just say "I'm scared to do drugs" and still be liked by the bad girls? Wouldn't they relate to fear?
you need a domme is what you need. idiot
you obviously enjoy being belittled
Why would you say that? Did I insult you or what?
Literally being attacked right now. Chase? Or Teevster, who said that noone is attacking me here? What will you say now?
And now you're even laughing at me. Just so you know, it hurts a lot. Like right now, you're hurting a fellow seducer. I've been reading these boards for years and I thought I could fit in here. And then this.
I get bullied. I wish there was a way to report this. There should be some sort of HR support.
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log off
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Guys let's keep it chill in here allright. Delivering hard truths is what we do but always with a focus on improving end results.
@Renegade sounds like you came from a really bad start, and you seem to be aware of a lot of the problems you're dealing with. But what are you looking for exactly from us? We are not therapists or psychologists. If everything that someone here says or does triggers you (as you implied with your reaction to notifications) then it's pretty clear you either have to put your ego aside and learn, or find somewhere else that's better equipped for you.
Don't forget, we're dealing with women here at the end of the day, and while any given woman you meet may feel for you, none of them are going to drop their pants for you out of pity. If you want to seduce them, you'll have to find a way to chill out and let things be as you learn the ins and outs of the game.
A lot of guys seem to think this is just like any other corner of the internet where people hang out and engage in unproductive wrangling but it's not. When you're learning, practicing, and improving, then you'll find there's no other place like it. For everything else there's Reddit and the rest of the wide world web to kick stones around in.
@Renegade sounds like you came from a really bad start, and you seem to be aware of a lot of the problems you're dealing with. But what are you looking for exactly from us? We are not therapists or psychologists. If everything that someone here says or does triggers you (as you implied with your reaction to notifications) then it's pretty clear you either have to put your ego aside and learn, or find somewhere else that's better equipped for you.
Don't forget, we're dealing with women here at the end of the day, and while any given woman you meet may feel for you, none of them are going to drop their pants for you out of pity. If you want to seduce them, you'll have to find a way to chill out and let things be as you learn the ins and outs of the game.
A lot of guys seem to think this is just like any other corner of the internet where people hang out and engage in unproductive wrangling but it's not. When you're learning, practicing, and improving, then you'll find there's no other place like it. For everything else there's Reddit and the rest of the wide world web to kick stones around in.
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Ban incoming
For what exactly? Show me where I broke the rules.
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Thank you. What I was looking for was advice for my situation - how to be attractive to edgy stoner girls.
And I did get some solid advice, what bothers me is the format of it.
A lot of the posters assumed that I'm a confident-enough person who can stand behind my decision not to do drugs. Or that I'm someone with a solid identity and values. I'm not, and that assumption triggered me. Because the reason why I'm here is the fact that I have no identity, confidence and I'm needy af. That's why I struggle with girls.
And these things don't have simple solutions. But I was still hoping to get someone who understands my situation to help me, + validate my reality + offer encouragement that things will be good.
I got everything, unfortunately I had to defend myself against those who invalidated my claims or belittled me for being so needy and desperate (as if most PUAs aren't..).
So.. topcat is getting banned as well since he insulted me? (Board rules)
If I get a warning, I'm willing to look into what caused it.
But here it would seen like Im getting reported for... defending myself against insults and invalidating advice?
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We're not here to build someone a new identity. We are seducers and if you want to listen you'll learn about seduction. But if you expect us to hand you a new identity, you're going to be very disappointed.
Validation and feelgood encouragement is not always (or often) the best thing to get when you're in the dumps. In any case the only people who both know how to help people in your situation and who also have some kind of duty to do that are therapists.
We are all here from different walks of life. Some of us are pretty rough around the edges (which happens to be something girls get excited about). Think of this place like walking into a martial arts gym, if you want to learn and develop you'll be fine, but if you're egoistic and argumentative (as you are), you're going to get thrown out on your bum.
If you can't chill out and hold your tongue, that's exactly what's going to happen here.
Except that in a martial arts gym, conflict is consensual. Noone will ever beat you out of anger without your consent, as that is illegal.
I could be all argumentative in a martial arts gym and noone could attack me beyond the scope of the training.
Being rough around the edges is not an excuse to be rough to everyone. This is a place on the internet like any other, it's not an underground club with no moral rules.
And not liking argumentative people here is a red flag. It means that what you really want is that people accept your advice (ego boost), not engaging ina discussion where you might find out you were wrong.
Anyway, the core of the conflict is here:
Your (everyone's) advice and claims are a danger to how I see the world.
I don't like that certain behaviors and traits are more attractive than others.
Because that makes the world albeist = better for healthy, strong men.
Attractive men shouldn't have more chances with women than unattractive ones. Its unfair.
And you working with how the world is, as opposed to how it should be, makes you a part of the problem.
I missed out on many girls because there were better men around me. That's just not fair. Life shouldn't be a competition.
I still want to learn seduction here, and this place is great for it. But the fact remains, we shouldn't have to learn anything. So much effort while others have it easier. Unfair. And I'm NOT being a victim for you who want to comment that. I'm being real.