Okaaaaay....
BIG, BIG decision in front of me.
Basically, I still have to write about my ex gf but the situation is following:
It's only been about a few weeks since we relatively mutually decided that it'd be better to broke up. I'm studying in England whereas she is back home (Slovenia). WE hadn't had toooo many problems maintaining this hybrid/semi-open long distance relationship but the thing is at the end of the day it was too hard and too painful, frustrating and dangerous for us as we are both quite caring,cuddly and devoted creatures.... when we are together. When we are not, not being able to be like this causes the frustration and pain.
SO.. we are still in kind of a good, friendly relationship, keeping in contact and we were talking just today and it started going from normal shit to severe sexting very soon. Then she insisted that I have to come to Slovenia for at least a few days so that we can satiate our sexual desires and screw our brains out. When I was turned on, I impulsively agreed but reflecting back on it..I don't think It would be a good decision. Emotionally I'm not clean yet and as far as I know she has been on at least one date with another guy whereas I have fucked 2 girls since but haven't really processed my feelings and I think love for her is still persisting in my heart.
The thing is we haven't really broken up for any of the conventional reasons, such as cheating, boredom, sexual boredom, arguing, etc. but it was more of a rational decision not to continue the relationship the way we did (semi-open type of thing) because we cared to much for each other to cause any more pain.
It's a though one and I don't really have time but I believe this decision will make me stronger in any way.
Just to list the classic pros and cons.
PROS:
+ I would get to see my family and friends
+ Life is way cheaper back home
+ I miss falling asleep with someone you love...you know, post-coital cuddling, loving kisses and all that jazz
+ Sex is absolutely amazing
+ Only her (so far) can perfectly satiate my foot fetish (and this deprivation has been killing me here in England)
CONS:
- I lose time to study for my exams in early January
- Spend money on going home
- Interrupt my routine of gym and library
- Might be potentially devastating emotionally and mentally
I really don't know... but I will meditate on it and reflect upon some other stuff and make the right decision, no doubt.
Is it an addiction type of relapse? or is it a good thing to do (love is still creeping in)?
Other
My life has been extremely good lately. Gym routine is been stable for as long as I can remember, I'm eating healthy, meditating every day without fail for a week now and I can already 'see' clearly, weed is completely under control ( I get way less temptation and craves, I smoke maybe a joint or two per week, which is considerably better than 3+ per day)
Seduction-wise things are brilliant.. I have a date after NY with a French beauty, another French vixen invited me to cook something with here for Christmas, one sexy English ginger girl, who's currently in China wants me to anally abuse her and cum on her face (she said that to me before leaving) then there's this half Chinese girl that I have been playing around and I know that she wants to swallow me as well and on the side of all this, I have another French girl, which I fucked a few times after my breakup and is always there for me (she's a bit inexperienced cuz she's only just turned 19 but I will train her)....
I feel like I can pull every time I go out now. The levels of confidence are high (although I'm still scared to death of cold approaching), fundamentals are on point, thanks to GC, which I have been reading since 2011 and my social skills have skyrocketed in this last year of Uni... Yep, LAST fucking year... I feel a slight sense of urgency, hence my goal to fuck at least 10 more girls.
That's it for today.. I really think writing down this things has helped me clear my mind. Please do comment on anything You think is relevant or whatever, I'd be delighted.
Peace,
007
https://soundcloud.com/gio-potskhverash ... a-desabafo