4th Long Interaction in two weeks but no dates, what 's Going On?

[Jeffrey139]

First off, I have been trying to meet a lot of girls lately, trying to ramp up my game and taking seduction seriously. I'm in university, and most of the girls I meet are at the university as well. I just cold approach them around campus, in hallways etc.

So, I met two girls last week, who I spent a good amount of time interacting with, say from 15 to 30 minutes. During both Interaction, we flirted a bit, I got to know a great deal about the girls, what are their goals, dreams and stuff like that. I tell them a bit about me as well, admittedly I didn't get to be sexual with anything of them, but in both cases we agreed to hang out again. It's a bit difficult for me to set a date right during the interactions because I go to school full time, and I work full time. But, when I try to follow up with the girls and schedule meets, both girls send me return messages of this sort "
Hey you seem like a cool guy but I'm not interested in being anything but friends...I hope that's cool with you" this is actually a text from one of them, the other girl answered similarly.

Same thing happening again this week, I met two girls who I had long interactions with, one at a library and the other one in a parking lot. one I manage to flirt with a bit and be a bit physical with, but the same thing happened where we don't plan the date because of conflicting schedules but we agree to hang out at a later date. But again when I reach them back to set up the date, the girls are non responsive.

So, what am I doing wrong in my interactions? What would cause a girl to tell you that she just want to be friends when you try to set up the date even after good interaction where you think you had good chemistry with girl?

Thanks in advance guys

 

[ray_zorse]

Hi mate and welcome. Firstly congratulations b/c if you are approaching you are already more of a badass than 99% of dudes out there! And women love it! You are 90% of the way to getting laid! As to your specific interaction well it seems like you are expressing some sort of intent since the girls are saying they don't want more than blahblah. So that's another good point in your favour, if you were coming across as just a platonic friend they wouldn't be saying that.

So what I suggest to do is persevere, since it might just be bad luck that you got a few similar rejections in a row. You can't necessarily read much into it. You should also post a detailed FR of your next promising interaction like how you opened, what was said, yours and her body language, how long you talked for, how you asked her out, what you texted and when, etc. This makes it easier to pinpoint any specific issues.

At a guess though I'd say that you're coming across as a regular, perfectly okay guy, but you need to go 10% further, you need to spike some EMOTION in her or somehow just have a bit more value than the next guy, so that she is curious enough to give you a shot. Remember she probably gets hit on a lot so if you are just a regular guy there is nothing to differentiate you and she doesn't lose much by passing you over and waiting for the next guy. Some tips if this is the case would be
- persevere, find a woman who is in a dry spell and horny
- try using more playful and flirtatious banter
- try slipping in some sexual and/or chase frames
- try using more touch and better eye contact
- try building more connection through deep diving
- try some push/pull, a more advanced but very powerful technique for spiking her emotions, it really works

Ray

 

[Bboy100]

I'd be willing to bet it's your fundamentals. You're probably a sociable,a cool guy who girls enjoy talking to. But they feel no real attraction for. Or you're playing the goofy guy/entertainer role. In either case, girls will stick around and have seemingly great conversations with you, but then they'll instantly friend-zone you. All the things Ray said will help, but there's really no substitute for tight fundamentals (think: what if Brad Pitt had the same conversation with them that you did? Do you think he would get the same result as you?). If you haven't already done it, I highly recommend starting with fashion,facial hair, haircut and your overall presentation. Those are by far the easiest to fix and keep consistent.

 

[Jeffrey139]

Thanks guys for the encouragement and the quick feedback. Feedback is something I have been lacking, so I have a feeling I will be a very active member here from now on.

Ray_Zorse, Here is a quick breakdown of my interaction from Wednesday at the library:

-----------------The girl was sitting on the floor working on her laptop. So I just went over and said “Hi, what are you up to?” She responded with a smile saying she is doing an essay. We talked about the essay for a few minutes, she couldn’t fully explain what the essay was all about, so I teased her a bit about it, she said she didn’t like the teacher much, I said it happens to all of us that we encounter a teacher that we don’t like.

Then, I introduce myself to her, she did the same, I sat down on the floor with her, then I started to deep dive a bit, she quickly became quickly interested in the conversation. I could tell she was because she now turned her body and her attention to me instead of her laptop. She told me about where she is from, where her parents from originally, where she use to live before she moved to the town where we live now. I did the same and told her a bit about where I am originally from. Then I ask her about her major, she told me that she wants to be an anesthesiologist, she went on to tell why she is so interested in that field, that her mom is a nurse, and a bunch of other things about why she wants to be an anesthesiologist, I teased her a bit about putting people to sleep and what if they don’t wake up, that it would be her fault, she laughed.

I told that she is interesting and a bit different from the other ones, she giggled and replied “the other ones” I said yeah while trying to put on a sexy face when I said it.

She proceeded to tell me that she doesn’t have many friends on campus but a few selected ones, particularly one best friend and that she doesn’t trust people much, she says that people are fake most of the times, at that very point she asked me this specific question: “who are your friends?” I said I have a lot friends, she asked me to name them, I ask her why she wanted to know their names, she said she just wants to know, I said ok, so I named a few of them (I think I could have them better there by naming only one good friend just like she did, so I could relate more to her) and then we dropped the subject.

I ask her who is she exactly, she told me that she is nice but she can be mean at the same time, I told her that I like that and she is just my type of girl, she giggled saying : “your type” I said yeah.

Then, We talked a bit about why I want to be an engineer and then I said I wanted to take her on a date, she responded with a “may be”, after reviewing our schedules, I suggested next Wednesday, she said “may be” again, I said ok, lets exchange phone numbers, she said “no, I don’t usually give my phone number to strangers”, which I was kind of surprised by because we were just having a great conversation. She suggested that she takes my number instead, I reluctantly agreed, she handed me her phone to put the number, after putting the number, I ask her if she is going to text me now, she said “may be” again, lol, so I said alright screw it, you are playing around, let me call my phone so I can get your number, she launch herself at me in a playful manner trying to get the phone back, so I don’t call my phone, but then she lets me do it.

At the end of the conversation, she asked how old I was, I said “old enough for anything” (while trying to put on a sexy face), she said no tell me, I said ok, I will tell you if you let me take you on a date Wednesday, she said “oh that’s how you wanna play it”, I said yeah, she laughed, then when we were parting ways, I went for the hug, she said no with her index fingers on my stomach, I said, c’mon I may never see you again, she laughed then she agreed for the hug, I hold on to her a bit, and I said to her ears that her hair smells good, she said “thank you” then we parted ways.-----------------------------------

So, The next day I texted her around 10:30 inviting her out for lunch at a time that I thought fits both of our schedules and also I didn’t want to wait until Wednesday to see her because as chase and other writers have been pointing out: Attraction Fades; but she has yet to respond to my text.

Here is the text:
“Hey K……., my favorite anesthesiologist, it was really cool meeting you yesterday, let’s have lunch later before you head to work ~ J……..

So, guys that's how it went down. The other 3 long interactions were similar to this one, in terms of the content of the interactions, but the other ones were very open about giving me their numbers.

Ray_Zorse, I am reading about the push pull method, and hopefully include it in my game.

Bboy100, may be you are right about me just being a cool guy, and that I don’t create the kind of attraction that I want to create, that women are craving for. I have been working on my fundamentals as far as sexy vibe, sexy clothes, voice tone, eye contact, but I am far from mastering any of them yet.

Could It be that I spent too much time with the girl?

How do I create that vibe where she is dying to see me again once we part ways?

Feel free to comment on my interaction guy.

 

[Bboy100]

Based on that convo, I'm pretty sure I was right. She liked talking to you cause she thought you were a fun guy, but she didn't care to date you. If a girl puts up resistance to something as simple as getting a phone number, that's a good sign she's a time dump. Some people might disagree and say that her resistance was a "test" and that you passed it by being persistent. But in my experience (and now yours too), that's not really how it goes.

I said I wanted to take her on a date, she responded with a “may be”, after reviewing our schedules, I suggested next Wednesday, she said “may be” again, I said ok, lets exchange phone numbers, she said “no, I don’t usually give my phone number to strangers”, which I was kind of surprised by because we were just having a great conversation. She suggested that she takes my number instead, I reluctantly agreed, she handed me her phone to put the number, after putting the number, I ask her if she is going to text me now, she said “may be” again, lol, so I said alright screw it, you are playing around, let me call my phone so I can get your number, she launch herself at me in a playful manner trying to get the phone back, so I don’t call my phone, but then she lets me do it.

As a general rule: If any part of moving the interaction forward feels forced, she's probably not into it. The quote from your post above is a great example of this. When you ask her for her phone number and she gives you vague responses like "maybe", followed by "no I don't give out my phone numbers to strangers", then you continue to push, this is a good indicator that it won't pan out with this girl. Even if you get her phone number, chances are she won't reply.

As for why she wasn't into you, you might have not been her type. Which is where fundamentals come back into play. Increase in fundamentals basically=increase in how many girls find you to be "their type".

One other thing is that next time, you might want to consider trying to get an instadate. Girls just sitting around campus doing nothing aren't usually too busy and if they like you enough, they'll be more than down to grab coffee.