a-jay's journal

[Lover]

Hey there

I'm new to GC forum. Actually, this is my very first post.. and I feel like I could tell tons of stories about my life so far to give you a very clear picture who I am and what I'm about.. but to not bore the hell out of you, I'll try keeping my introduction as short as possible and to the point

About me
- 21 years old
- Been training taekwondo for 11 years
- Attending med school
- Single (one FWB)

Current situation
I'm at a turning point in my life. I might quit taekwondo because my ambitions are high (becoming European/World champion), while I still have to attend to med school. I was very doubtful of not passing my last couple of exams. I'm not looking for an A necessarily, but I want more certainty while going to my exams. And since I like working out, I'm considering alternatives to taekwondo. In fact, these factors have been stressing me so much that I can't even focus on smoothly conversating with girls because I'm often too distracted to.

Experience with girls
I've bedded fire girls in my entire life and made out with 3x as much. I'll mention some girls who have the biggest influence in my life (the numbers below are irrelevant)

#1: my one and only ex. We got together when we were 14. She was the one I had my awkward teenage first-timer sex with We had unprotective sex multiple times, eventually leading her to become pregnant.. stupid emergency contraception didn't work, but she got an abortion. While I wanted to continue the relationship (I like to overcome challenges like these), she was so uncertain that she became jealous of every girl she saw afterwards. I couldn't take it anymore and broke up six months into the relationship.

#2 my current FWB. We met in high school (I was 17 back then) when she was in a relationship, and we were friends for about a year. She broke up with her guy, only for her to become sexually with me a week after. However, our "relationship" is the strangest thing happening in my life, since we started as friends, became lovers, didn't talk, became friends again, became lovers again and so on.. recently we agreed to make it a friendship with benefit, and it's been going quite well since then. She even helps me better my style and sexual perfomance. Wondering if she's a keeper?

#3 the one who friendzoned me. I met her during med school "get-to-know-each-other". We made a damn good connection from the beginning, and I thought this one was definitely a winner. She told me she liked taking things slowly, and I bought it. After two parties, I slept at her place with NO sex at all. I don't know what happened, but for some reason it seemed right to take things slowly with her.. I even stayed faithful to her without being in a commited relationship!! 1½ year into our friendship, I declared that I liked her and would love to date her, but I got the "I only see us as friends" right back in my face. I dumped her as a friend some time later.

#4 the one who made me open my eyes. After having declared my liking to #3, I felt like I could meet new girls again (seriously fucked up thinking pattern, I know). Some time prior to dumping #3 as friend, I was in a bar with a small social circle from med school. We got pretty drunk, and I was ready to make my move with one of the girls. At a previous party, she was turned on by my dancing (her eyes were screaming "I want you"). I danced so sexually with her this time, I could litteraly feel the sexual tension. But I couldn't escalate.. I had this one girl wrapped around my little finger, but I just couldn't make my move and satisfy mine (or her) sexual arousal. It's been awkward ever since I met her at school, fortunately it's only been a few times

After fucking up with #3 and #4, I decied that I needed some serious help. I discovered GC in March 2014, and even though I haven't seen any results yet, I like the process. Which leads me to

#5: the MILF in the bus. Months after having discovered GC, I went to campus to buy books for the new semester. My fundamentals were improved (straight back, slow powerful walk), and I had a decent cologne. After finding a seat in the back of the bus, this MILF, sitting two seats next to me, opened me by asking about my cologne. We talked for a few minutes, and she had to get off. We came into topics of my cologne, she guessed which country was my native etc., but the most funniest thing that happened was: she said she could tell I was good with girls - just like her ex-husband. After she got off, I was so disappointed I didn't just escalate and make out with her.

My current goals
- Improve my fundamentals and first-hand impression
- Improve my conversation skills
- Identify girls' indications of interest. When I learned of these, I could tell that I've been passing up many girls..
- Just approach new girls. With my current experience, I don't give a damn whether it's day or night game. Currently I just want to meet girls, gain lots of experience and then make my preferences
- Always push my limits and don't end up in a comfort zone.

I'll use my journey to mostly write about events that is making me learning something about interacting with girls - be it a simple conversation or a lay. I might post special occasions in here as well.

Can't wait to meet you all

Take care
a-jay

 

[Lover]

Yesterday I was at a party at school. The final exam was over, and the whole semester was celebrating. No hook ups, just simple conversation with a few buddies of mine, a little bit of dancing and table football. An interesting night nonetheless.

A ghost from the past (GFP) approaches me
This girl with a nice black dress and fine brown hair approaches me at the bar, saying "hey a-jay, remember me". And I did, after she told me where we met each other first time. We talked for 10 minutes, about all sort of boring stuff that doesn't interest me.. I tried to figure out if she did something exciting besides school, but nothing really.. my vibe was friendly the whole time. We had a little bit of touching at the very beginning of the conversation, but it went to zero touching during the conversation. She bored me, I looked away to see if I could find someone I knew, my back wasn't that straight anymore and I was being dismissive. Eventually she would mention that she draws occasionally and showed me some of her paintings, and she was really talented. Since we were talking about being creative, we also talked about what kind of music we liked. I guessed she was into pop music, but she was really into death metal! I was like "stop talking nonsense, you don't look like a girl who listens to that" to which she replied "well, I wanna be able to look like this (moves her hands from shoulder to hips) and listen to death metal at the same time". Finally she was saying something I would love to hear. I like genuine girls, and for that I rewarded her with a warm smile, some touching to her arm and tried to escalate verbally. But before I could do so, I got interrupted by....

Girl from the same social circle (GFSC) as #4 mentioned in the intro

Background story with this girl: a year prior, I talked to this girl at a party where she would compliment me in a sexy manner. I would act like I heard nothing because I knew she had a boyfriend "back home" where she's from (according to facebook, she still does). Since I was starting to believe in long-term relationships (in my 20's, I know..) and not knowing what girls want, I thought she should stick to him.

Yesterday, she would run towards me, screaming "heeeeeeeey a-jay" and hug me with no regards to me already being in a conversation. GFP said she had to go find the bathroom (yeah right) and left me with CBG and another female acquaintance from the same social circle. GFSC touched me heavily, and well, to practise my touching, I thought "why not touch her back". We had conversation for five minuts before I left to find some of my buddies. Later, she would interrupt another conversation with a buddy of mine. She was hanging with a lot males during the party, and I'm thinking she just wants male attention regardless of whatever is happening when she interrupts.

Things to learn from the conversation with GFP
- be patient, maybe comfort her a bit? Eventually she will open up.
- make the vibe more sexy. For example in mid-conversation, think about what I can do to her in sexual ways. With my FWB, I tend to have a sexual vibe by simply thinking about how bad I could fuck her.
- make sexual twists. When she mentioned she was into death metal, I could have said "oh, you have a bad side, too!" instead of "stop talking nonsense, you don't look like a girl who listens to that"

And as far as GFSC goes, we're probably going to a party with the circle in the weekend. Maybe #4 from the intro will be there, who knows? I'll go to the party, but apporach other girls. However, if she continues her behavior of interrupting conversations, I might have to be straight with her about the behavior.

- a-jay

 

[Lover]

Met this woman at work yesterday, probably in her 30's. She had the prettiest blond hair I had seen all day, and I knew right away that I REALLY wanted to say it to her. However.. when shit was about to go down, I could feel my heart rate raise IMMEDIATELY, and my head started to feel wierd - it's like I was paralyzed. The words were there, but they wouldn't come out. I wanted to kick my balls HARD because I didn't take action and not overcoming the anxiety.

This is part of a long time problem of mine: complimenting everything but girls' physical features. Well, in bed it's not that hard.. but in the early stages of meeting girls, I want to make sure what kind of man they're dealing with - in other words, making a better first-hand impression. That's why, after this encounter, I have made a specific goal: I'll compliment at least five girls with stunning features during the weekend, ask them how their day was and wish them a good time. Purpose is to overcome the anxiety of just approaching and giving a compliment.

As I'm visualizing the scenario, I picture myself with good fundamentals: straight back, deep voice, great eye contact and relaxing shoulders. Also I picture the girl being very receptive to my compliment, and we just have a short, but very great and memorable moment. Just by visualizing, I already get a good feeling of approaching and complimenting girls. Let's see what happens in real life though

 

[Lover]

Giving compliments

Freday
First girl I met during day time. Tall girl, unfortunately her eyebrows were trimmed too much (hate that). Her beautiful brown hair made up for it. She was cashier in a store selling simple stuff. At first I walked away because I thought "I can't just go in there, give her a compliment and leave again, that would seem desperate". But a second later, I thought "I'll go in, see if I can find something I need anyway and deliver the compliment". Turned back and found some notebooks I would be needing for the upcoming semester. During the interaction, I felt my heart rate raise again, just like the day before with the blond girl at work. I tried to find the right timing (which I knew was an excuse and I would be regretting later), but anxiety had already hit me.. and I could tell she was getting a little nervous. I wished her a good day and left. Wanted to kick my balls again for not taking action..

Later I went to work. I'm cashier at a gas station, and the customers are mostly male. I knew I would miss out opportunities if I didn't give compliments to the girls who came.
- So when the first attractive girl, a regular customer, entered, I told her "I have to tell you, your hair is very pretty" with straight back, relaxing shoulders and deep voice. She thanked me and said "I had to make myself pretty since I'm going to some bars". I wished her a good night and moved on to the next customer.
- later a not so attractive woman would enter. However she weared a very nice crew neck with an all-over flower pattern. Thought about commenting on it, but it never went anywhere.. not so proud though. It would take me 3 seconds to tell her, but I didn't... wonder what went wrong
- another woman, a new customer entered. Very stylish with a fur west and a hat. I knew I had to jump in with both feet this time, and I did!! When she had paid, I told her "THAT is the most stylish hat I've seen all day". She looked at me, shocked, surprised and happy all at the same time (how did she do that??). She eventually said "aaaaw thank you", and we just looked at each other for what felt like eternity, but I guess it was just 1-2 seconds. I wished her a good night, and she said you too. Afterwards I wonder if the timing was right to just go for her number. What I've learned from GC is that I shall try to make a connection first, make her comfortable etc, but at work I don't have time to build rapport and stuff. I'll ask here on the forum for a piece of advice (if anyone's reading, I would appreciate feedback on this one)
- two other women entered later, not together. These women had one thing in common: their smiles. The first one was really attractive with curly brown hair, green eyes and sexy glasses, but I just sensed a friendly vibe from her. I told this one "that's a pretty smile you entered with" and thanked. The second one, not attractive at all, but with a KILLER smile (is this why a smile is the best/prettist makeup a girl can wear?). This one I simply told "wow, do you always blind people when you introduce yourself with that smile?" she giggled a little bit, then thanked.

From this day at work, it was awesome to just compliment random women for whatever attribute you find attractive and then watch them respond to the compliments warmly. So I figured, why not continue this path in the weekend? But you know what, nothing happened... Saturday, I was at IKEA to buy some stuff for my appartment, but what I found was that 99 % of the girls were either with their girlfriends, parents or boyfriend. IKEA is a no-go, only go there if you really have to. Later I was supposed to go to a bar with the social circle I talked about in my first post, but no one were in the mood to go out. And since I'm not comfortable going out on my own, I did go out bowling and eating Iranian food with some guy friends from high school, but meeting no girls at all *sigh*.. Sunday wasn't any better.. I tried to do some daygame in the streets, but to be honest... NO girl made a good first-hand impression. NO girl at all. Majority of the girls were wearing black clothes, and when they did wear colorful clothes, it was a mismatch in my eyes. I know it's winter and it's cold, but I'm wondering if I'm having too high standards?? I don't weigh girls on a scale.. to me it's more a matter of "is she attractive, or is she not", or "does she stand out in a positive way vs. doesn't she". I think I'll ask here on the board..

Later that Sunday, my FWB would visit me, and we had a good time. I would remember her of the time when she first gave me a handjob. Back then she told me "it's some nice tools you're hiding in your box" (love the analogy she uses!!!) and I bantered her about it. Everytime I talked about how I was going to set up some light in my entrance, I would talk about the tools I would use. For some reason, all her feelings from the time she first handjobbed me, would evoke, and boy, she was turned on! Later I found this article in the article roulette and eventually got an answer: she experienced the same emotional states this Sunday as she did few years back. And it made sense since she would say stuff like "I can't believe that after all these years, I still feel like a little girl around you". Oh, the power that such experiences have on girls.

These last couple of days have been without approaching or any other kind of girl-related activities. The new semester is starting Monday, and I'm preparing for it. I've quit taekwondo completely, as it takes up too much of my time compared to the time I need to use studying. I'm considering alternatives as we speak, but for now I'll stick to my "home gym".

What have I learned the past week
- Complimenting a girl doesn't hurt. It's just like mastering any other skill: exciting in the beginning, easier when being mastered. Oh, and it's just a part of the mastering other skills as well.
- At this point, just approach a girl if I find ANYTHING that makes me notice her in a positive way.

Short term goals
- be more out of my appartment in order for me to increase the possibility of meeting new girls. This includes study in school rather than home, join a gym that permits free entrance to the next-door swimming hall, go to bars more etc. Since my schedule is tight, I'm forcing myself to start conversation anywhere and anytime because I barely have time to go out with the purpose of meeting girls.
- if possible, approach one new girl everyday, open her either direct or indirect and see where the conversation goes.

Long term goals
- save money and move closer to the city in order to be around campus and bars. My current appartment sucks regarding logistics (7-8 km away from the bars, and cabs are expensive as fuck).

take care

- a-jay

 

[Lover]

Saw this tall cutie on my way home today. It was raining a lot, and I could see her face that was being lighten up by her big smile. It felt right to approach her, but by the time I had made up my mind, she was long gone.. this should NOT happen again! I know that it will happen again, but it should be reduced to a minimum!

 

[Lover]

Med school is one biiiiiiig motherfucker.. I like studying, but I'm having another exam in a month and a half.. curricular is big as fuck, but for once in my whole studying, I'm actually enjoying the process. And I should continue this positive attitude towards achieving my goal: get the best grades ever. Even if I don't get an A, I'll be just as happy if I pass because I did the best I could.

But what about women? What are they doing to my life as we speak?

Sunday, I was at a computer cafe with a buddy. A foreign girl was working as cashier on night shifts, and my buddy knew her from last time he was there. To me, she looked good: blond hair, pretty face and a nice cleavage (without doubt this cleavage gets a lot of male attention in this kind of enviroment). Let's just say that she was somewhat attractive. When we were about to pay, my buddy talked to her about some stuff that happened last time he was there (something about some coffee, don't quite remember). I joined the conversation at a point where my buddy asked her what she was doing in our country. I asked what country she was from and told her how I actually like her country because of all the times I had competed in taekwondo tournaments there. Anyway, my buddy had no interest in her so he left the conversation to make a phone call, leaving me alone with her. We had some good conversation (don't remember today, should have wrote this sooner), and at one point I told her it was good speaking with her and left with my friend. Afterwards, I talked to my mate about how I should have asked for her number instead of "fleeing the scene". And that is probably the biggest lesson I learned from this encounter: every new girl could be a new lover which is why I should always have in the back of my mind to go for a number-close (when circumstances only allow this).

Today, something interesting happened. Well, it isn't that interesting by itself, but to me it is. Some girl from med school whom I chased back in the days of walked by me when I was studying in a computer room at campus. This girl is a really attractive brunette, and if I knew how to game back then, something would definitely have happened.. but well, shit happens. Today, she had walked by me in the computer room to print some documents. After having done that, she was about to walk by me again - except, she didn't do it right away. She stopped (which I could see in my peripheral vision), and the conversation went something like this

Her "how are you doing?" *I raised my head and turned it towards her*
Me "well, I'm fine" (didn't really want to get into conversation with her, so turned my head back)
Her "nice, what term are you now?"
Me "fifth, what about you?" (realizing that I don't want to let her know more about how things are going, I changed the conversation to be about her instead)
Her "I'm focusing on writing my bachelor's project as we speak"
Me "nice, what are you writing about"
Her *bla bla bla some topic I don't quite remember, but it was a part of her research this whole term*
Me "sounds exciting. Good luck with it" (think I said the last part with an aloof tone)
Her "thank you"

And that's it. The whole time my body was turned to the computer while I had her full body attention. I was really not in the mood talking to her.

Even though I had moment of joy because of the fact that she started conversating with me, I stopped all of my thinking and said to myself "why the heck did she open me in the first place?" I hadn't talked to this girl in two years. we see each other infrequently at campus and just smile at each other if we happen to get eye contact. Why would she all of a sudden come to talk to me? Well, for once my facial hair, clothing style and hair style have all improved this last year. Even my back is more straight. But I can't make sense of her action because of improved physical apperance. Of course maybe she just wanted to talk, or maybe she was testing me for fun, I don't know, and I don't care. But one lesson I've learned with girls, even before I knew of GC, is: don't chase them, replace them. So I erased that joy right away and returned to my studies.

The bad parts of my "sexy-journal" is;
-I wished I was better at taking actions when seeing attractive girls on the street. It happens at least once per day that I want to approach a girl, but doesn't make it happen. And I hate returning to my journal just to write this over and over again. I know that when I finally approach some new girl on the street, I'll be like "what was I afraid of this whole time?" I don't want to be a bitch of my approach anxiety anymore..

The good parts of my "sexy-journal" is;
-I'm actually lowering my standards which is good.
-I'm watching much less porn that I've ever done (bad habit that should be completely erased).
-I even get a hard one of just watching girls with the slightest sexy feature.. even some girl I saw in the same computer room I wrote about previously, was wearing a tight skirt which made it available to see her panties and the curves of her ass. She sat on the chair... not on her butt, but on her knees!!! - bending over with her hands on the table, and her ass pointing PERFECTLY towards me. And all I could think about was banging her just the way she was right there.
-I'm having great sex with my FWB, and we are as usual taking things to the next level.

Process is happening, but I still need to approach strangers. But I'll ask in this forum about a certain mindset later.

-a-jay

 

[Lover]

One thing I've been working on this week, is getting into a talkative mood and practicing my talking speed and tone. I've done this by saying "hello/good morning/afternoon" etc. to the bus driver and talking to mates at school. I have this bad habit of talking with a light and fast voice mostly because I like talking and want to tell every detail. After doing some voice recording, I found out the power of tone and speed. The wonders a few improvements can do are truly amazing. Hence, the focus is on socializing and mastering a powerful voice.

Today, I had enough. I hadn't approached a single attractive girl since writing this journal. Problem is, I have anxiety of approaching when the purpose is to bang a girl later. Basically I thought of any excuse to talk to girls today with the purpose of just talking to strangers. I had to go an electronic store after classes to buy a new tablet. On the way, I approached two girls together (neither were my type) and asked them for directions. They told me how to get there even though I knew how already. Skipping to the electronic store. When I had found the tablet I needed, I went to the cashier to pay. The cashier was an average brunette and somewhat attractive, approximately my age. I had no intention of turning the conversation into something personal, but kept it strictly professional. When I had paid and was about to leave, she had this way of saying "goodbye" that I could not help but interpret as disappointment. I left the store and thought to myself "when I do some effort, girls get disappointed. When I don't do any effort, girls still get disappointed." The only thing I did while paying, was having good posture, solid eye contact and talking with a deep voice (relatively speaking). Clothing was good, but not outstanding. Maybe I did smirk too, not sure though.

Conclusion: I can see how body language, tonality and taking action (or lacking thereof) affect the first hand impression. And as I know from previous encounters, first hand impression is vital to the game. But I need to get myself into a comfort zone of appropriate level (which is approaching all kind of female for now for any reason possible) before I can move on to the next level (approaching attractive girls to bed them later on)

a-jay

 

[ray_zorse]

A-jay, just lead in with a compliment. That's all you have to do. If they're working it snaps them right out of autopilot. If they're in the street it's sufficient reason to stop them. Heck half the time I compliment a woman in the street I'm on the way tovan appointment so I just say hey, would have liked to stay and chat, but I have to go, and eject... that's to say, it isn't all about banging them, it's about enhancing their day and giving credit where it's due. This is much better than asking for directions you don't need, and thereby hiding the banana. My favourite compliment to register chicks etc is "I like your eye makeup, you look fabulous", this doesn't work as well for street stops for obvious reasons.
-Ray

 

[Lover]

Hey Ray, thank you for the advice. I'll keep it in mind. =) Stay tight!

 

[Lover]

Hey guys

The first part of this post may be a downer, and I'm not trying to create a bad/sad vibe on this forum. But it is a period of my life that is changing/has changed me more than ever, and I feel like I have to share this one. I hope you can bear over with me.

I've been away from the forum because I've been stressed.. with school.. with work.. with the flu.. with truly understanding and accepting that I'm going to die someday. The latter experience has evolved my way of thinking and taking action recently. Before I get into how this experience changed me, let me explain what happened.. I was paralyzed for weeks because I slowly began feeling fear of death (not sure what elicited it though). I didn't attend school, I didn't work out, I postponed a major assignment.. I couldn't even watch a movie where someone died because of the fearful emotions it awoke inside me. I questioned the meaning of life because it all has to end one day. I met with my FWB sometimes to cope with my emotions (sexually, that is), but as soon as I had gotten my "kick" from fucking her brains out, the emotions started all over. Today I'm both grateful and hateful for being through this. I'm used to be in control of my feelings (and my life in general), and it usually takes a LOT to shake me off of this state. I've never been this vulnerable in life. And this vulnerability is probably the eliciting factor of my current level of humility. I truly realize that I cannot waste time being lazy and not acheiving my goals (carrier-wise, seduction-wise, sport-wise etc.) - because I don't wanna look back at my life and think of all the things that I didn't do or didn't achieve. I'm better now and ready to fuck the fuck out of life (and new women, by time) =)

And now for the second part; what else have I been through?

Since quitting taekwondo, I didn't find any replacement. But I attended salsa classes for two months because I have always loved dancing and wanted to try something new for a change. There is something beautiful, something artistic about dancing. Besides that, I thought it was a good way to practice social arts. I've been out with the class to events and even danced with people outside the class. Truly amazing. I've been taking boxing classes for a week, and I'm probably going to teach in taekwondo again. I've not cold approached yet, which I hate myself for, keep making excuses.. I've been to parties with friends, still no results with the ladies. And I keep wondering why..

Just yesterday, I realized something that I thought I did wrong, I never did wrong: I did it with the wrong women

Confused? Let me explain.

Lately, I've been wondering why I can't apply chase frames and sex frames when talking to a girl I would love to pull. Then I happened to compare two girls from school which I met a year ago, let's call them A and B. These individuals represent (basically) the two kind of girls I meet and normally interact with:

- A is the kind of girl that attracts me: a girl who obviously looks different than the other girls. We have good conversation when we first meet, I deep-dive her, etc. Afterwards, it dies because I neither close nor escalate.
- B is the kind of girl that doesn't attract in regards to looks. Like A, we have good conversation when we first meet, deep-dive each other, I show a vulnerable site of myself, and B does likewise. Afterwards, I use chase frames and sexual frames to have fun with her.

I never manage to lay girls like A even though we are both attracted to each other. P is the kind of girl that I never imagine myself get intimate with, but at one point during our friendship I realize that she is or has been attracted to me. One possible reason I can think of is when I use chase frames and sexual frames with girls I'm not attracted to! It isn't some coincidence that these frames occur with the kind of girls I'm not trying to attract. I'm more relaxed around these girls and feel absolutely no pressure whatsoever. I feel like I can be my congruent (and apparantly sexy) self, no wonder if they appreciate that. But with girls I'm attracted to, I have a hard time. I talk too much, mostly non-sexual, but still in a kind of "I would like to get to know you"-vibe. I try to hit it off, but usually I fail.

I'm a little confused and don't know exactly how to approach this problem. It's probably not even that complicated, but in my mind it sounds very complicated. I will have to ask in the forum to get some feedback on this one.

a-jay

 

[Lover]

Picture yourself standing behind a desk, and four customers are in the store: an old man alone, an old woman alone, and two peers together (a male and female of same age, probably in a relationship). The young female is the first customer with her boyfriend, and none of them are regular customers. She's a blonde girl, shorter than you and tanned, but not like your ordinary hot blonde babes (less hot, that is). She tells you what kind of cigarettes she wants, and as she says so, you feel this tension built up inside you. It isn't what she says or how she says it. It is the very action of you and her looking at each other. It's like a bubble has surrounded the two of you. Everything else is a blur. None of you really feel like breaking the eye contact, but you have to give her the cigarettes she's asking for.. You feel like eternity passes before you turn around to get her the cigarettes, and it may have only been a second or two that you have been holding eye contact! As she is paying, you don't even look down when she hands you the cash, you just look as deeply as you can into her eyes. You don't care if a coin or two slip through your fingers - you just don't break the eye contact! You return her the change, only for you to make physical contact with her fingers because you know that under these circumstances, this is as far as you can go. You wish her a fantastic evening with a seductive voice as she leaves the store with her boyfriend (or whoever he was). And you wonder to yourself if her eyes were seductive because she just likes male validation, or because she's unhappy with that guy. And you might never find out with this particular.. Now, the old man steps forward and puts his products on the desk.

So what did I learn today? The VERY impressive power of eye contact. I have tried to held eye contact with girls before, and little tension would build up or tension would build slowly up. But with this girl, it all happened so fast. The tension went all BOOOOOOOOOM - I could feel it immediately as our eyes met! If eyes could fuck, this was our eyes fucking. God damn, it's been a long time I've tried anything THIS exciting. And it all happened in a few seconds. If my eyes have the same effect as her eyes had on me, I can definitely use this to improve my fundamental eye contact - like keeping eye contact for a longer time. Maybe even say less. We'll see.

a-jay

 

[Lover]

Alright, so I created a new topic here about me being sexy man around women I do not want to pull. Smith gave me some tips to approach this situation. Basically I need to lower my standards and meet more girls whether attractive or unattractive (unattractive as long as these girls have their fundamentals handled).

I have also bought Colt's Laid On Tinder-system. In the beginning, I felt weird about just liking any girl. And this is something I have been struggling with for a long time regarding girls: just talking to them and being carefree as I do (in other words, just taking action). When I hit my first "like", it has become gradually easier to just press the button and waiting for someone to like me back. I have liked 400 girls, BUT !!! I have not matched with a single girl yet! WTF! I'm not sure of the reason, but it could be that either my pictures suck (quality, light, alone-pictures etc.) or that I'm an Iranian guy in an European country (minority) or a combination of both. I can have an influence on the pictures. Fortunately, I know two photographers, and I might have to ask them for help with HQ pictures. I cannot really do anything about me being Iranian. Or maybe I should dye my hair blond? (no way). Nonetheless I will keep playing this number game until I get one or more matches. By now, I am not expecting to get any matches, and I am preparing myself up to take more action in real life - not only social circle shit, but cold approaches as well. Basically pushing my comfort zone.

I feel like I'm not taking myself as seriously as I'm used to - and for a change, I feel good about it! I'm in a place where I'm going to do what I set myself up to do, but this time I might have more fun while doing it.

Cheers!

 

[Lover]

Ever since discovering the effect eye contact can have, I want to take it to the next step. Therefore I am going to use the rest of June to consciously focusing on this. Prior to discovering GC, I had barely eye contact with anyone. In general my non-verbal communication with people sucked. Or, I just didn't give a fuck. I would gladly talk to others, but at the same time I wouldn't mind looking the other way.
How am I going to do it? In the beginning I will look every people in the eyes - friends, girls, basically anyone I meet or pass by. No stirring. When I'm getting the hang of which situations are appropriate/inappropriate to do it, I'll use this as reference point.

As far as Tinder go: I think I have done 6- or 700 likes, and I have happened to get my first match. I opened with a song lyric opener (Uptown Funk). She hasn't replied (almost 15 hours has passed), but I guess an opener such as "I'm too hot - called a police and a fireman!" can seem try hard-ish, especially when I'm not good looking on my pictures (I don't have a lot great pictures actully, I'm hoping for the content of my pictures to work out). Guess I have to let this one go. And, of course, think of a new opener.

 

[Lover]

The Tinder-thing isn't going great. Still no matches worth it. And I'm damn sure that my pictures is fucking it up (see here). Besides that, I have to really up my pictures because I'm a foreigner as well. I'm gonna ask a friend of mine if he can help.

The eye contact thing is going great though! I feel like conversations are more exciting this way, gonna keep this going!

Two days ago while working, a female friend of mine (which I can have sexual conversations with on a platonic level - we discuss a lot of male-female stuff) entered the store with a new female class mate (she has a boyfriend = no sexual escalation). I was surprised because she didn't know I worked there (a mutual friend had told her so). They asked if I wanted to go out for the night, and even though I had to get up early the next morning I complied. While I was working they stayed around, had a few ciders and fun warming themselves up. They waited until I closed at 11 pm, then we went to my place to shower, eat and get some drinks. We didn't reach the bus at 0:30, and the next bus was coming an hour later. We went back to my place, played some card game etc. and called it a night at 2 am. The next day I talked with my friend about how the night had gone, and she eventually mentioned "while you showered my friend said that you look like somebody who fucks great". And it's funny because recently girls have told me things about my style and fundamentals that they like. Stuff like

-the color of your long sleeve (it is bordeaux) suits you
-I didn't think you were the type to wear jewelry, but you and your earring are definitely a match
-your voice is so deep. One can only respect it

and now a girl saying that I look like I fuck great. Well, I should get some results to confirm her statement! But it's great to see that I'm giving the right first hand impression.

I'm gonna take a break from GC to prepare for my exam. See you on the other side!

 

[Lover]

I posted this field report a while ago. I have never ever moved so fast with a girl. I'm not sure if it was alcohol-confidence or real confidence. It was great experience either way.

Anyway, one month of practicing eye contact is over. It was great in the beginning, but I was lazy in the end. Nonetheless I had some great encounters with great EC and some with poor EC. In general it's hard to maintain EC because I'm in a conversation thinking about what to say (if needed) while keeping EC; and that's when tension build up, and I need to look away because I can't think during this kind of tension yet.

In July I'm going to do something that is very daring at my current level: approaching girls, opening them (delivering a compliment if I can go direct) and leave shortly afterwards. It is said everywhere in the boards and in articles; baby steps are key. I tend to visualize a whole interaction where I go from approaching girls to getting their numbers to dating them to laying them. I feel like a king when fantasizing about these smooth, perfect appoaches. But then I will be needing a reality check because I'm not even close to that level. It's sad to think about it, but it's the truth. And right now I'm realizing that it doesn't even matter if I'm in a certain state because I experience approach anxiety (or nervousness) anyway. But I need to do it to develop myself into a stronger man and to meet girls. When I went to taekwondo tournaments, I still entered the court even though I was nervous and regardless of my level. From an emotional point of view this shouldn't be any different. Only difference is that I had practical experience from training before going to tournaments - with cold approach, I have none. Sure, I can read others' FR/LR and GC articles, but that won't make me meet girls. I shouldn't care about the effort, and I shouldn't care about the outcome. I should only care about doing it for now. Hope for the best (a great interaction), expect the worst (a rejection).

I have deleted my Tinder account for the time being. My photos suck, and that's it. My photographer friend is busy, but I'm sure he will help me when possible. then I'll start the Tinder thing over.

 

[Lover]

I was at the mall looking for new clothes. I went into a store where a sweet brunette cashier was watching her boss' dog. She said hi which I expected before I entered (service). I also asked if she had had many customers today, to which she answers no. At this point I just played with the dog for a few seconds because I didn't know how to continue from there. I didn't feel any tension or pressure, but I felt it was forced*. So I left. When I left the store, the usual thing happened**: I realized all the details I missed out on. I had plenty of time to build rapport and maybe get her number if the number of customers had continued the way she described it. Also, I need to learn to just say hi instead of expecting it.

*This has been a huge problem of mine. I feel cold approaching is forced/unnatural because of weird expectations instead of "just see where it goes". But I don't wanna go into details right now because otherwise my journal would be all about how I got from not approaching to approaching - and that will eventually be covered. I've done some introspection to get myself to approach more girls in the future. Main problems: I don't want it bad enough, and I feel that cold approaching is forced/unnatural. But I do think that I've reached a point where I can practise cold approaching. Main solutions: Until now, I have had other things going that mattered more than approaching girls thus I didn't want it bad enough. Most of these I can run more on autopilot now. And hopefully I've justified in my head that approaching girls is merely a skill, like keeping a body in shape.

** When I wrote "the usual thing happened", I meant that this has happened before that I realize the details, but I haven't written it down anywhere. So I need to keep writing in my journal to remind myself of what I can improve. JEsus christ, I'm so embarrassed when reading my journal. Almost a year and no new lay Let's own this motherfucker

 

[Lover]

**The field**
Went to a mall today and hit the streets later. I managed to say hi to a cute brunette walking the opposite direction at the mall. I can't believe I did this. I thought this was a HUGE line to cross. I can't remember the last time I could feel my heart pound this HARD. It usually does when I'm working out, but not by non-excerising activities like this... jesus. But it was a step in the right direction. However, I want to go indirect all the time and hide the banana. For now, as long as I say hi, it's ok. I'm proud I actually had the guts to just say hi. I will move forward eventually.

**Recent thoughts**
I have been thinking how my lack of social aptitude in my childhood and teen years have affected me to this point of my life. Never really cared about other because I thought they were weird, shallow and so on. Back then I didn't know what the average human wanted and needed, probably why I always felt so different. But I need to keep in my mind that I can reverse this.

Also I think it's weird that my whole life I have been able to put myself in challenging situations. But when it's cold approaching during the day, I find it WAY harder than any other challenge. Do I want it bad enough? Future will show.

 

[Lover]

**field**

Today: cold approached two women so far, just asking for the time. Expanding comfort zone slowly but steady.

**thoughts**

I need to get comfortable saying hi to women, preferably all ages and all types, then expanding comfort zone further.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

a-jay,

I am reading thru your journal and I wanted to go back to this girl. There are a couple of important points to make.

Today, something interesting happened. Well, it isn't that interesting by itself, but to me it is. Some girl from med school whom I chased back in the days of walked by me when I was studying in a computer room at campus. This girl is a really attractive brunette, and if I knew how to game back then, something would definitely have happened.. but well, shit happens. Today, she had walked by me in the computer room to print some documents. After having done that, she was about to walk by me again - except, she didn't do it right away. She stopped (which I could see in my peripheral vision), and the conversation went something like this

Her "how are you doing?" *I raised my head and turned it towards her*
Me "well, I'm fine" (didn't really want to get into conversation with her, so turned my head back)
Her "nice, what term are you now?"
Me "fifth, what about you?" (realizing that I don't want to let her know more about how things are going, I changed the conversation to be about her instead)
Her "I'm focusing on writing my bachelor's project as we speak"
Me "nice, what are you writing about"
Her *bla bla bla some topic I don't quite remember, but it was a part of her research this whole term*
Me "sounds exciting. Good luck with it" (think I said the last part with an aloof tone)
Her "thank you"

And that's it. The whole time my body was turned to the computer while I had her full body attention. I was really not in the mood talking to her.

Even though I had moment of joy because of the fact that she started conversating with me, I stopped all of my thinking and said to myself "why the heck did she open me in the first place?" I hadn't talked to this girl in two years. we see each other infrequently at campus and just smile at each other if we happen to get eye contact. Why would she all of a sudden come to talk to me? Well, for once my facial hair, clothing style and hair style have all improved this last year. Even my back is more straight. But I can't make sense of her action because of improved physical apperance. Of course maybe she just wanted to talk, or maybe she was testing me for fun, I don't know, and I don't care. But one lesson I've learned with girls, even before I knew of GC, is: don't chase them, replace them. So I erased that joy right away and returned to my studies.

Rarely does a girl blantely approach a guy without cause. If you are questioning why she did this, 99% of the time it is because she is attracted to you. Even if she approaches with a illegitimate reason there is a good possibility she is interested. Of course this doesn't apply to sales people or solicitors. Women are subtle. They very rarely compliment a man directly. For her to stop and talk to you is a very strong indication she is attracted to you.

Second is that you reduced her interest in you by not returning the interest. You have deflated her ego some. But if you are interested in bedding her you may be able to fix the situation. You did call her really attractive so I think you may want to do so. The next time you see her approach from the side or back to make it look happenstance. Say something like. "Imagine seeing you again. It had been so long then twice in one week(or whatever time frame). It must be karma or fate. The other day I was so in my head because of the upcoming test. I should have had you sit and talk." At this point continue the conversation and use some touching and a compliment. Then ask if she is busy and try for an instadate. If that is not a go then get her number and preset up a meeting for coffee or drinks. Remember she approached you so she has interest.

A couple of notes on how I stated the conversation. I did not apologize for not paying attention to her. Don't admit you didn't want to talk to her or screwed up. You want her to think that it wasn't her but you were overwhelmed at the moment. You want her to think you were and are interested in her.

Keep up with your cold approaches. You will get over your anxieties.

SGent

 

[Lover]

SGent

Thanks for reading my journal and the encouraging words

In regards to that particular girl (I'll call her May), well, I haven't shared all details about her here. And now that I think back, I didn't actually "chase" her in that sense. The power dynamics were just in her hands. I'll provide you an approximat timeline to provide some background.

August 2012: I was accepted for med school, and the student tutors arranged an intro camp which lasted a week. I believe that the second night I was soooo drunk, and I danced with another girl all night (let's call her Ashley). When we called it a night, we sat outside, and I went in for the kiss. Ashley rejected my kiss, countering with "I have a boyfriend in Japan" (she is not Asian...) Obviously I knew nothing of girls' tests and "that kind" of rejection, so I bought it and told her shit like I hope she treats him well and so on and also hugged her to make sure she stood by his side. The night ended, and the following morning I felt so bad because I knew I had fucked up. And things didn't go better because May and Ashley began talking (probably about what a wuss I was). The third or fourth night, I wanted to dance with May, but after a minute of dancing or so she lead me to Ashley!! Well, I didn't want to bother Ashley anymore, so obviously I left the dancefloor to find some other people. Skip forward to the last night. We were in the same group in drinking games (the drinking games took place all around the camp, so we were on the move the whole time). At some point we were separated from the rest of our group. She started to talk about how gorgeous I am (surprised me and I responded likewise), and seriously, I had no clue what to do. I had tried to get her before, now I froze in action. However, we were just laughing, building tension up, but eventually went back to the rest of the group with our arms around each other... I don't remember any details of what happended afterwards. The next day we were cleaning the camp, and she kept on the how gorgeous I am. So we agreed to plan something once we returned back.

A week later: We became friends on Facebook (unfriended her a long time ago), and I wrote to her when she had time to eat lunch. It took her a week to respond. I thought that was disrepectful, so I ditched her.

January/February 2013: Her classes already started last September, while mine started January 2013. We hadn't met, but then at a party we ran into each other. We talked about how we should start over, so I took her number and texted her so she had mine. But I didn't follow up with a "let's meet for coffee/whatever". If I remember correctly, I was hoping for her to take the first step (I wanted investment from her side). But nothing happened, and I forgot about her.

Since that party, I have seen May on and off in the main hall and the libary. I have seen her with the same guy multiple times in the main hall, and I can tell from just looking at them that she's madly in love with/attracted to him. Everytime I see them together, she looks like a cute and silly girl melting down. But it was actually when I had studied seduction for a few months (from February 2014 until now) that I could tell this. I have never seen a girl hold a guy's hand the way she does.

They might have broken up when she decided to talk to me. Maybe they were still together, and she simply wanted me for validation. They could also be on the fence about their relationship, who knows... But at that point I had given up on her, and that is why I was moving on. I had enough of her "games" which really was power dynamics in her favor... It's funny, though... you mentioning May brought back some emotions - hope, joy, but also relief. Hope and joy because that was what I felt when we agreed on meeting up the first time (after the intro camp). Relief because of the last incident (I haven't seen her since). Mixed emotions.. If I hadn't read your view on this, I'm sure I would have ignored her totally because she means nothing to me now, other than how she made me feel.

So how to move on?

Rarely does a girl blantely approach a guy without cause. If you are questioning why she did this, 99% of the time it is because she is attracted to you. Even if she approaches with a illegitimate reason there is a good possibility she is interested. Of course this doesn't apply to sales people or solicitors. Women are subtle. They very rarely compliment a man directly. For her to stop and talk to you is a very strong indication she is attracted to you.

I don't doubt this statement. The MILF I mentioned in my first post? I doubt she opened me because she could. I also think Chase had an article about women approaching the guy.

Second is that you reduced her interest in you by not returning the interest. You have deflated her ego some. But if you are interested in bedding her you may be able to fix the situation. You did call her really attractive so I think you may want to do so. The next time you see her approach from the side or back to make it look happenstance. Say something like. "Imagine seeing you again. It had been so long then twice in one week(or whatever time frame). It must be karma or fate. The other day I was so in my head because of the upcoming test. I should have had you sit and talk." At this point continue the conversation and use some touching and a compliment. Then ask if she is busy and try for an instadate. If that is not a go then get her number and preset up a meeting for coffee or drinks. Remember she approached you so she has interest.

A couple of notes on how I stated the conversation. I did not apologize for not paying attention to her. Don't admit you didn't want to talk to her or screwed up. You want her to think that it wasn't her but you were overwhelmed at the moment. You want her to think you were and are interested in her.

I do really appreciate this piece of advice. Yeah, she's physically attrative and has a flirty vibe about her. But honestly, I don't really care about bedding her. I can only imagine I would do it for the pleasure of it, not really because of connection or chemistry (I wished this was denial, but this is how I feel). I know she's not to blame for what happened between us back then, I just didn't know any better. The sex would probably be something like the sex part of this LR (see from "15 minutes later"). She means nothing to me, and I don't even feel like changing that. And she hasn't even done anything wrong.. guess old emotions die hard. However, if I should change my mind, I will definitely try to make something happen.