- Joined
- Jul 26, 2018
- Messages
- 434
Last year I went through a rough time. I wasn’t making good money, I was a bit lost in my career, and I wasn’t even picking up women. I had a few strong desires, like wanting to travel again, get back into pickup, and pay some debt.
All of this pressure, from not achieving what I wanted in life, triggered a crisis. The stress turned to negative energy, which I directed at friends and peers.
After some focus and strategy, I changed my circumstance. Last year I banged a few girls, travelled ten countries from Asia to Europe, and paid off 10k in debt. Do I feel better now? Hell yes. Do I regret whining like a little bitch to my friends? Yes. I could have kept my mouth shut and just dealt with all this. But sometimes we just need to vent. My true friends know I’m the kind of guy who vents, and then takes action. I’m not a quitter.
Here’s the difference between toxic negativity, and negative but productive discourse:
The toxic negative man only talks about his problems, but never does anything.
The negative but productive man shares his pain, and then takes action to fix it.
The stereotype of the “Hero” is usually a stoic, Clint Eastwood, Vin Diesel type character who when faced with pain, hardship, and death, doesn’t so much as whimper. When a strong hero does whine, like how Tony Stark loses faith in End Game, you know it’s only temporary because it’s not in his character to quit.
Too many of you guys sound like quitters. You say things like “This stuff doesn’t work for me because I’m too xyz.” Or you go into rants about your damaged soul, your rough child hood. You complain, but when someone gives you advice, you lash out at them, telling them they’re wrong, and there’s no point, etc.
If you’re going to complain it’s okay. Sometimes we all need some re-assurance. We need to talk. But do so with the goal of improving, of taking action. Start with the stories you tell yourself, about yourself.
If you love being miserable, and lonely… then keep doing what you’re doing. If you truly want to change for the better, then pay attention to how you talk to yourself, and the people around you.
All of this pressure, from not achieving what I wanted in life, triggered a crisis. The stress turned to negative energy, which I directed at friends and peers.
After some focus and strategy, I changed my circumstance. Last year I banged a few girls, travelled ten countries from Asia to Europe, and paid off 10k in debt. Do I feel better now? Hell yes. Do I regret whining like a little bitch to my friends? Yes. I could have kept my mouth shut and just dealt with all this. But sometimes we just need to vent. My true friends know I’m the kind of guy who vents, and then takes action. I’m not a quitter.
Here’s the difference between toxic negativity, and negative but productive discourse:
The toxic negative man only talks about his problems, but never does anything.
The negative but productive man shares his pain, and then takes action to fix it.
The stereotype of the “Hero” is usually a stoic, Clint Eastwood, Vin Diesel type character who when faced with pain, hardship, and death, doesn’t so much as whimper. When a strong hero does whine, like how Tony Stark loses faith in End Game, you know it’s only temporary because it’s not in his character to quit.
Too many of you guys sound like quitters. You say things like “This stuff doesn’t work for me because I’m too xyz.” Or you go into rants about your damaged soul, your rough child hood. You complain, but when someone gives you advice, you lash out at them, telling them they’re wrong, and there’s no point, etc.
If you’re going to complain it’s okay. Sometimes we all need some re-assurance. We need to talk. But do so with the goal of improving, of taking action. Start with the stories you tell yourself, about yourself.
If you love being miserable, and lonely… then keep doing what you’re doing. If you truly want to change for the better, then pay attention to how you talk to yourself, and the people around you.
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