About eye contact

[DarkKnight]

I have been re-reading Chase's article on using your pheripheral vision : How to check a girl out openly and turn her on.

Reason for this is that I notice lots of girls pretend not to see me, even if they already know me (and I suspect they like me). While I tend to easily and openly look since I am not some pussy. However I started to get the nagging feeling that this is costing me approach invitations. The reason I openly look at girls is not because I am starving for connections, but because I am trying to show "opennes'. Because when two people don't look at eachother nothing happens. Chase recommends staring from your peripherals in order not to give her the feeling of too much power. Is this also the case when your fundamentals are really on point? I am trying to find the sweet spot between not being too attainable, but also not coming off as super aloof. I already know I can come across as intimidating and am not crazy about waiting for girls to finally be risk takers.

How do you guys go about this when you enter a room, or at the street, do you scan or acknowledge, also is openly looking at girls costing me approach invitations? I have a big suspicion this is so, but I don't like it when things degrade into non verbal games and passivity. It has always been a typical thing that when I am with friends or with another girl suddenly girls become much more overt with staring. Probably because I am already distracted.

 

[Mr.Rob]

I've always sucked with eye contact pre approach and usually just opted to not make eye contact until I'm delivering my opener.

However over the past few years I've experimented more with locking eyes and smiling slightly as I'm passing a girl to be powerful and effective in basically screening if she's warm for being approached.

Have you tried the "don't make eye contact until you pre open and deliver your opener strategy?"

 

[DarkKnight]

Nope I didnt, the coming weeks I'm going to explore Chase's way and see what the results are for myself. I guess you're approach is easy to combine with what he suggests. Let's see what it will bring me. Lets see whether this will increase approach invitations as well, because I notice more then one girl trying to do her damnest to hide attraction. Those are the ones i notice, who knows how many others i am missing. Basically I will experiment with ambushing girls to give me approach invitations. The passivity doesnt really suit me though.

 

[Derek da man]

There is a difference in making eye contact in passing and staring at someone. I try to make eye contact, give a small warm smile and when she breaks eye contact I look away but still keep watching out of my peripheral vision. If she looks back shortly after she's interested. A lot of text books say "if she looks back within 45 seconds", my experience says most girls will struggle to make 15 seconds never mind 45!

First time I played with this I was out on the street in my high vis jacket, hard hat and muddy boots. I had absolutely no fundamentals in place but I got several looks from single ladies walking down the street and none of them managed more than 5 seconds before looking back!! I was very surprised how well it worked - before you ask I'm not ruggedly good looking!

Also look for other signs such as turning a foot or her body slightly in your direction, moving or flicking the hair out of her eyes, exposing her neck or wrists towards you. These are all fairly subtle but several of them together should also indicate she is open to an approach.

 

[DarkKnight]

"I try to make eye contact, give a small warm smile and when she breaks eye contact I look away but still keep watching out of my peripheral vision "
I like this. I usually genuinely look away, but keeping tabs via periphal vision can help.

Yes, I am aware about general signs of interest . Especially the feet never lie unless they are conscious about those and more and more people are these days.

 

[BigPapa]

Women look with the corner of their eyes all the time

now ... if you sense she is scanning you , and it should be quite easy after a while to recognize this , you should make direct eye contact , otherwise just look briefly at her and see if she bites .

the problem is that with the modern women there are a lot of guys making or trying to make eye contact with her , etc so you should try to evade this as much as possible unless you have really top notch fundamentals and are top compared to the most other guys

 

[Grand Pooba]

 

[DarkKnight]

Hmm, so Grand Pooba I should pretty much tell women "hello, my eyes are up here"

@BigPapa

You make a good point bro, however perhaps this should be calibrated a bit. Guys try to make eye contact with attainable women. Absolute stunners tend to intimidate them and perhaps the opposite route is a more feasible route with them.

 

[Grand Pooba]

the point of my post and graphic is simply to show you that men and women see things differently.

It might look like a woman is looking straight ahead PAST you as you walk by her, when in reality she's ACTUALLY looking RIGHT AT YOU, just with the corner of her eyes (since her field of view is bigger).

A telltale sign I look for is to look straight ahead as she walks past, then with my own peripheral vision, see if she turns her head at all towards you, or fully directly at you, in the last split second before you walk past. That's a clear approach invitation. This moment lasts under a second, so you really have to be cognizant of it.

 

[BigPapa]

Hmm, so Grand Pooba I should pretty much tell women "hello, my eyes are up here"

@BigPapa

You make a good point bro, however perhaps this should be calibrated a bit. Guys try to make eye contact with attainable women. Absolute stunners tend to intimidate them and perhaps the opposite route is a more feasible route with them.

I used to think the same , but if she is super hot the guy will not make eye contact with her but still look at her body , face , drool , smell her perfume and stuff like that . Indeed you are right he will not approach and not make eye contact with her as he thinks she is out of his league.

Even though she is disappointed because there is another guy staring at her tits and ass and does not see her as a person, she still gonna feel also good cause she is validated and knows she is a catch for a higher caliber guy

The funny thing is that the more you will stay around women , the more you will behave like them haha

subtlety is the key

 

[DarkKnight]

I got that bro, I was just making a joke because commonly women are the ones who tell men "my eyes are up here" when you stare at her breasts, at least according to mainstream media.

I will keep that last alinea in mind though and keep my eyes peeled for that "under one second window". Definitely relevant for what I try to figure with this post.

 

[DarkKnight]

@BigPapa there is a big difference between staring at her eyes as a man and sneaking looks at her and drooling like some weak guy who thinks she is unattainable.

 

[BigPapa]

Yeah , I was just saying that she will notice both of them , and for sure the guys will do one of this 2 when they see a good looking woman haha

I also Sometimes when I pass by a really good looking women and she does not notice me at all , I just light up a cigarette turn around and say “fucking hell , I would tap that ass as it would have been my last day on earth “ haha

Guess is a natural response when our senses are stimulated by girls

 

[DarkKnight]

Yep it's really hard to take your eyes off sometimes. Especially when girls have tight, vibrant with colors clothes on which leave nothing to the imagination. Honestly this can become annoying especially in the gym when they are obnoxious about it.

But we have to maintain discipline.

 

[Razorjack]

I think you guys are focusing too much on the logical details.

It's ok when you're talking about this on the board, but you need to turn off the logical brain when you're out doing pick up. For example, if you are thinking about whether to make eye contact or not, has she given you an AI (approach invitation or not), is she seeing you through her peripheral vision or not etc. Your mental focus is not where it needs to be: on her emotional state.

After you've approached / interacted (NOT laid, just engaged in pick up game) with around 75-100 girls then try to shut off the logical brain when you see your next target. It will be difficult at first but once you get it, it will take your game to the next level. The idea is instead of logically analyzing whether she is looking at you, making eye contact, what to do / say next etc, try to see if you can feel what she is feeling at the moment.

You are literally "connecting" with her on a non-logical, non-physical, emotional level. If you shut off the logical brain and only focus on "reading" her emotional state, with a bit of practice your instinct will kick in and you will sense what she is feeling and what sort of mental/emotional state she is in. Based on this you can then plan your next move.

Example:

If I sense that she's had a rough day, I'd approach and open with "wow, was your day as bad as mine?"

or if I sense that she's had a fantastic day "look likes I'm not the only one who's had an awesome day..... high five!"

Bang! Instant connection! When I started doing this, it felt like I skipped ahead 10 steps in the pick up and eliminated a lot of the initial (and unnecessary) work.

 

[TheHustler]

I don't really care what I do with my eyes (Meaning its a very respectful way to show interest and gauge her initial level of interest. Or if shes a nut job). That said I don't look for approach invitations anymore and instead focus on the girl and how she carries herself. A lot can be said non verbally. I can tell a married woman from single and a lot of things about a woman just by how she carries herself. I just go and approach.

 

[BigPapa]

What I noticed is that women who are single , or just want to be approached are very aware of their surroundings and if there are any interesting men around or not . If their radar pings then they will give out an approach invitation like eye contact , etc and you know is game on .

otherwise just going in feels more or less like doing spam

what I noticed though over the years is that actually the women are selecting the men, not the men seducing them from thin air ,and this is why I am a firm believer that a guy needs to have top notch fundamentals before trying any technical stuff