Alex journal

[alexlaguma]

Yes boys. Decided to start writing a journal here after reading some of yours and feeling quite inspired. I've recently been posting field reports each time I've run a bit of day game, but from now on I'll post in here.

I massively welcome any feedback/commentary as I try to get this stuff mastered. I will of course be commenting and providing support on others journals also.

So, where am I at? I decided to get back into the field a few weeks ago. I am in my mid 30s. I spent 7 years in a LTR, nearly got married, and then came out of that. I spent about 3 years bouncing around dating apps, having a bit of success here and there, but always felt like I was swimming against the tide. I felt like I was fighting to get girls to come on dates with me. Every now and then it would happen, but it was just such a low hit rate of matches to dates it felt like a complete waste of time. I was still laying I'd say average 10 girls a year, some from apps / some from social circle game. But it just wasn't great. And what is frustrating is that people in my social circle, work etc think I'm like this massive player ... all my mates who are in relationships think I'm constantly dating. But I try to explain its actually hard out here !!

So anyway ... I got inspired to get back into day game, and I forced myself to approach 5 girls in a day a few weeks ago. I wanted to post a FR, so came online and found this website. Ever since then I've been reading Chase' articles and getting inspired, and I've been forcing myself to go out day gaming a few times since. I should say ... I was into game like 15 years ago when I was like 20 years old. But I never took it seriously. I just used to read a bit and try to incorporate it into my day-to-day life. This is the first time I've got serious about it.

So ... I started approaching a few weeks back, and had some decent success on my first couple of outings. I picked up a few numbers (my field reports are in the FR forum). Got my first lay from day game last week ... pretty straight forward. Got her number, first date a few days later, second date = lay. That was good and she could be converted into a FB.

What I've also noticed is that since I started approaching and developed social momentum, I've started to pick up a lot more interest in my normal life. I layed a super hot girl at a wedding last week, I think because I've got that momentum / confidence ... and after a couple hours chatting I was just willing to put on the "do you wanna come back to mine?" whereas previously I would've tip-toed around it for hours and settled for a number close.

Anyway ... what I'm really keen to do is try to build approaching into my day to day life. I have a busy office job so getting out to approach on week days isn't really possible, BUT I do commute and see girls quite often, so i want to build the confidence into my day to day life to always be on. I've been reading Chase articles and @DoWhatWorks posts and he talks about that a bit.

On that note ... today I was in the office and I had two big successes. Number one ... there is a girl at work I've had my eye on for a while but never spoke to. Always been keen but never knew how to approach it. Anyway, Chase commented on one of my FR's the other day and suggested i switch up my approach and go with a genuine compliment (rather than my usual direct 'i thought you were hot so wanted to say hello'). So I noticed she had on a really bright top (bright for the office anyway) and just walked straight over to her, tapped her on the shoulder and said "i just wanted to say I love your top, you're really brightening up the office". She LOVED it ... and we chatted. Ended up going for coffee. I asked if she was single, she said yes, I took her number. Lovely stuff.

And THEN ... on the way home this evening. I had to change trains and the platform was chaos, because there was delays. Everyone was looking at the signs to see what was going on. I noticed a hot girl looking at the sign, I walked over, made eye contact with her. And then I said something along the lines of "are you trying to get to XX as well?". She said "no .. I'm actually trying to get to XX, but do you know what is going on with the delays?". I took the follow up question as being a sign she was interested (I was right). Then I went with Chase' suggestion, and I said "by the way, I think your earrings are amazing" (they actually were cool) and she loved that. We chatted for a few mins, I asked where she was from etc. Then I said "are you single?" and number closed. Perfect ...

So two numbers today ... and I have a fairly busy phone at the moment with numbers from the past few weeks. I'm keen to keep building social momentum. As dowhatworks says ... its all about pinging. I just need to keep pinging as many girls as possible and testing the water, and I'll keep getting options through that. This stuff is SO MUCH BETTER than dating apps. Honestly I wasted 3 years on them. Its like fighting tooth and nail to get them to go on a date with you, whilst trying to pretend that you are not fighting. It was such hard work. Wish I had decided to get into cold approach years ago.

Anyway - thanks for reading ... appreciate you guys!

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

Well done brother! You are crushing it. I live in a small town and am finding that day game is more challenging, just because there's no scale. I am finding your frustrations with online game as well. So it's fun to imagine how it might be in a larger city.

 

[alexlaguma]

Quick update from me boys. I am on an absolute TEAR at the moment with approaching. I feel fully locked in and confident ... if I see a girl I want to approach I'm confident that more often than not I've got the confidence to go and do it.

Yesterday I was in the office and went for a little walk around mid-morning. This was partly due to my recent desire to try and increase opportunities for serendipity. Previously I would've grabbed a coffee in my office canteen, but these days I'm thinking why do that when I can take a 20 minute stroll and potentially see hot girls to approach. So I took a stroll, bought a coffee and walked back to my office. Just as I was about to walk into my office I noticed a girl at the bus-stop right outside. She was my type, hot girl in gym clothes. She had her airpods in. For a moment my mind created all these reasons why I shouldn't approach (eg; what if someone from the office sees me). But I thought fck that, I'm doing it. Went straight over to her, tapped on the shoulder, delivered a really nice relaxed opener. My new style is to follow Chase' advice and deliver a really genuine compliment, and that's exactly what I did. It worked brilliantly, she was really into it, and then I stayed chatting for a few mins before getting her number. We have been texting since.

Then today I went to an outdoor swimming pool with 2 of my friends from work (a guy and a girl). As we were there chilling a girl walked past who was EXACTLY my type, even my friends said she is right up your street. So I thought I HAVE to approach her. It was one of those where I was kind of talking myself out of it because she was swimming, there wasn't a perfect opportunity. But then she got out the pool and walked right behind us. My friend said this is your chance, and I didn't even hesitate for a second, just jumped up, walked alongside her and delivered my line. I kind of butchered it this time because it was awkward surroundings and I didn't have a "genuine" compliment ready ... but anyway she still chatted for a bit and gave me her number.

And THEN I left the swimming pool and walked through the park, and as I entered the park a super hot blonde came a walked alongside me. My mind started creating some bullshit excuse like I've already got a number today maybe I should leave it. But I thought fck that, I am going in. I waited for her to catch up with me ... and then delivered probably my best approach in ages. I was super relaxed, took my time, just gave a really genuine compliment on her style. She absolutely loved it, said she has never had a nice approach like that. Chatted for a bit, got her number.

Boys I feel like I'm flying .... I've had a bunch of numbers in the last few days and my approach is feeling so much more relaxed. Big props to @Chase for his advice on the genuine opener ... it really works a treat and is way better than my old "i just thought you were stunning so wanted to say hello" opener.

Anyway ... next challenge is to try and convert to dates. I already have one on Monday for a girl I met in the supermarket a few weeks ago.

If anyone has any really good links to posts/articles on text game I would be grateful. I did read one recently, might have been by Skills, which talked about the 'soft close' of a date over text. I've been trying to do that and I quite like it ... its better than just going straight to the "shall we go for a drink" which can often just be ignored. But anyway ... if you boys have any advice please link me to it !!

 

[Chase]

Looking awesome, Alex!

I'm happy to see the genuine compliments paying off dividends for you already.

On texting, if @Skills's approach is working for you, keep doing it.

My approach differs from his; but if you want an alternate perspective, a few of my core articles on the subject:

How to Text a Girl in 2022

This guide will show you exactly how to text a girl. Including: Texting a girl examples Copy-paste texting templates Emerging texting trends Must-read resources Lots more If you want to go from novice to 'textpert', this guide is for you. Let's begin. About the Author Chase Amante here. I'm an...

www.girlschase.com

20 Ways to Text a Girl that Make Her Super Attracted

In the article on second dates, Todd comments on a girl he's met and some of the texting they've done between their first date and second, and finishes up with the questions below: “What's the next step? I don't want her to lose interest, but I'm gone for this entire week. We said we'd get...

www.girlschase.com

14 Simple Ways to Text a Girl and Make Her Want You

Don't know how to text a girl you like? Copy these texts and send them to her to get her excited and ready to go out with you. Contents 1. Icebreaker Text 2. Same Day Date Text 3. Next Day Date Text 4. Standard Scheduler Text 5. Proposal Text 6. No Worries Text 7. Scheduler II Text 8. Scheduler...

www.girlschase.com

Keep playing around with compliments and seeing how much fun you can have with 'em!

Chase

 

[alexlaguma]

Yes boys ... thought I'd drop a little update in here as its been a while. This will be useful for me to set out some thoughts, but also grateful for any insight / feedback from you guys.

So my last update was about 2 weeks ago where I got 3 numbers from hot girls within the space of 2 days. My approaching felt very smooth and I was on a roll. For whatever reason, since that day I haven't really done any more solid approaches. I think I've done 2 half-hearted approaches during my commutes, but nothing really significant. I've found it difficult to combine approaches with my schedule. This is about to become much less of a problem because I will now have a period of time where I won't be working, so I can actively focus on being in the right places. I'm taking some guidance from @DoWhatWorks recent post about being more deliberate with where / when you go. In fact tomorrow evening I've scheduled a catch up with a friend at a bottomless brunch type of place, knowing that there will likely be hot girls there.

Anyway, whilst I haven't been able to get many approaches in, I have been able to get quite a few dates in from the pipeline I built from my previous approaches. I need to crunch the numbers (i've got notes saved in my phone) but I think since I started day game approaching about 6 weeks ago I've done something like 18 approaches, got 7 phone numbers, and I've had 4 dates, with 2 lays. Not too bad. BUT ... I've hit a bit of a sticking point. And that is my approach on dates.

The last 2 dates I've had (bus stop girl and the girl from the pool ... read my previous post to see who I'm talking about) have not went very well. Not in the sense that they were terrible dates, just that they didn't go anywhere, and both girls were clear after the date that they weren't interested in anything romantically. I've actually taken this quite hard because I've always prided myself on being brilliant on dates. I pretty much always back myself to be able to push things forward. But these past 2 dates have been shit, and I'm kind of bummed out about it. I'm thinking that I need to invest some time in being better at dating. I've always really focused on the approach element of pickup ... and just assumed that when I get them on a date I know what to do. But this experience has humbled me, and I think I need to actually prepare better. I'm going to read some content on the site to start thinking about what I can do differently.

In terms of the specifics, both dates were just a bit flat. There was an element of me fcking up the logistics, in both occasions we were sitting opposite each other so no opportunity for touch, felt a little 'interview' like. And for whatever reason there wasn't much flirting ... I was more in 'storyteller' mode and making them both laugh, but no flirting / piss-taking / banter. I also think (particularly for the 2nd date) I was aware of how hot she was (and how good a potential gf she could be) so I didn't run my usual game. I don't know if you guys get it, but sometimes when you feel there is more to lose you are less 'free' with your game ... and you don't push things in the way you do when you intrinsically know that the girl is into you already.

Anyway - if you guys have any content / materials I should read about how to get better on the actual date please do share. I know there is some stuff on sex gambits that I've been meaning to get around to reading.

The other thing I need to do is build up my pipeline again. I've managed to get 2 who are FWB's now, and another 2 dates on the way, but beyond that I'm drying up, so next week I'm going to attempt to do 20 approaches during the week. I think that should put me in a good position. Onwards and upwards.

 

[JT Sunshine]

In terms of the specifics, both dates were just a bit flat. There was an element of me fcking up the logistics, in both occasions we were sitting opposite each other so no opportunity for touch, felt a little 'interview' like.

This. My best dates I've always been sitting next to the girl. If you need an excuse, just say "I'm coming over there cause you have to watch this video". Then just stay.

I also think (particularly for the 2nd date) I was aware of how hot she was (and how good a potential gf she could be) so I didn't run my usual game. I don't know if you guys get it, but sometimes when you feel there is more to lose you are less 'free' with your game ... and you don't push things in the way you do when you intrinsically know that the girl is into you already.

Same. It's like I think "she's extra hot, so I need to play this one differently and better" and end up coming off super awkward/incongruent.

The other thing I need to do is build up my pipeline again. I've managed to get 2 who are FWB's now, and another 2 dates on the way, but beyond that I'm drying up, so next week I'm going to attempt to do 20 approaches during the week. I think that should put me in a good position. Onwards and upwards.

The way your approaches seem to go, that should put you in a great position!

 

[alexlaguma]

Just putting a quick update in here. I wrote a long update on my week of day game approaches that I did recently.

Right now I feel so solid with my day game approaches. I just got back from running some errands and did 2 approaches on the high street. Its actually remarkable how calm/composed I've got with it now. I did 2 approaches, 1st first one had a boyfriend, 2nd one was a great girl and we had a good interaction, took her number and I seeded the date for next week there and then (stole that from a DWW day game post I read earlier).

In terms of the approach, I spotted her from across the street, so I walked over to that side of the road. She walked ahead and I thought to myself right how am I going to do this. I'm not really a big fan of the approaching whilst side by side thing. For me it just feels a bit awkward to talk whilst I'm walking with them. I prefer to make them stop and hear me out lol. So anyway I walked quickly to go a few paces in front of her, then I turned around almost as if I'd realised I need to go back in the other direction. Started walking that way and then I stopped her head on. My usual opener -

ALG - "excuse me ... sorry, bit direct, i thought you looked great, wanted to say hello" - all of this is delivered in quite a calm , slow and natural way. There is no performance to it, I actually really take my time. If they've got headphones on I wait for them to take them out.

In this particular instance -

Girl - "aww thank you so much, that's nice, how are you?"

At this point I knew it was on, she stopped and was talking. I ran a bit of game, did some cold reading on her job etc, bantered about a festival she has tickets for. And then suggested a drink. Usually I would just take the number and bounce, but I've been having a few flakes recently so I thought let me actually seed the logistics now. So I said something like "so you're at festival this weekend, I'm away next weekend, how about we do something next thurs?" she was like yeh sounds great. So now I can follow up with a text and get that locked in.

All in all a solid approach. I've got a decent pipeline now of leads ... just need to convert a few dates and get my rotation up again. I've just let one go cus she was a bit boring. I've got 1 remaining but she is giving me lots of shit at the moment. Clearly wants a relationship, but she's too young for me. So I want another 2 at least.

 

[alexlaguma]

Dropping a quick update in here cus I had a couple of dates this week. Have managed to convert a few of my leads into dates. As I mentioned in my last entry I feel like my cold approach now is very solid. I pretty much always open well and if a girl is single I get her number. A couple of things I am trying to work on for my approach -

1. Push myself into less natural sets for me. I want to be a bit more open with my 'type' and stop just going for the short blonde girls that I know are usually into me. I want to try and see if I can broaden my options a bit. This takes effort on my part because my brain naturally resists going into these type of sets
2. Stay in the set longer, seed the date, pretty much sort the logistics there and then. This is with a view to reducing flakes.

Anyway, onto my dates. I had 2 dates this week (thurs and fri).

Date 1 - girl I met at a social event a few weeks back. Met for a drink and managed to grab a seat next to each other (so important, i HATE sitting opposite a girl on a first date, so formal). Even just having your knees touch each other a little seems to help build comfort. This felt familiar as we had a lot to chat about, a lot of banter back and forth. I felt she was into me from the start. Bounced her to another venue. I tried to run a little bit of sexual prizing / sex talk stuff but she wasn't biting at all. I get the sense I was being sized up as BF material. We kissed, I asked her to come back to mine, she said no lol, but clearly there is potential for that in future. She text me a few times before I even got back to mine.

Date 2 - so this was the last approach I did in my "22 approaches in a week" the other week. The cold approach was really good although it took me 2+ weeks to sort out a date mainly due to her schedule. Anyway she turns up to the date and she's got all sorts of personal shit going on (ex-bf etc) and she started with that stuff. I should have "cut the frame" straight away but I let her vent a bit. Anyway eventually we start getting into banter, we're sitting next to each other, quite a bit of kino when showing videos on phone etc. We do a few comfort topics (how complicated families can be etc) and then I start to get into sexual prizing. I run my usual "who has it easier in dating, men or women" as a segway into talking about sex. She actually really bites on the topic, and says something like "the thing is I have sex with a guy and he is really good then I just know he has had a lot of sex already" and even starts talking about how her ex-bf could never last etc. I think I could have made more out of these topics , but I'm just really starting to use this stuff so maybe i wasn't 100% comfortable in the topic so I wasn't as relaxed / confident with it as I should be.

At one point later in the date when we were talking about what was important in relationships she said something like "its just all about sex for you isn't it?" which made me think maybe I didn't calibrate the sexual talk stuff, and maybe I overplayed it a bit.

I think maybe the key with the sexual prizing stuff is to be comfortable talking about sex, without making it weird, and being SUBTLE about the prizing element (ie; not trying to brag, but just to note in a subtle way that you are experienced at sex).

Anyway it was a weird date as there was lots of kino, even some initiated solely on her part, but then when we got back to her tube station she said she had to go see a friend, I kind of threw out "i think you should come back to mine" and she said she couldn't. I'm not holding out much hope of that one going anywhere but who knows. Some key takeaways for me -

1. Frame control - honestly I don't really know what frame control means lol despite reading about it a lot, but I think its about controlling the topic and owning the reality. I could've cut some of her less beneficial topics like difficulties with ex etc
2. Sexual talk / prizing - I think I did well to get her onto the topic, but I could have been a bit more comfortable / relaxed in there, and less 'performative'. Like when she was talking about her ex being shit, I could've just been really relaxed and said "what, so he never made you cum?" ... which would have subtley implied that wouldn't happen with me.
3. Logistics and stuff ... I should have been a bit clearer what was going on when we left, rather than trying to throw out a hail mary "come back to mine" when we were saying bye.

Anyway - all a good learning experience. Date 1 I'm pretty sure will convert into something when I'm back in the UK. Date 2 I'm less sure of.

I also have a solid pipeline of numbers for future dates so plenty of opportunity for me to get this right.

 

[Higher]

she said something like "its just all about sex for you isn't it?" which made me think maybe I didn't calibrate the sexual talk stuff, and maybe I overplayed it a bit

Yeah, sounds like the sex talk needed a bit more comfort/rapport to be built alongside it for things to be balanced out, especially cause this is a daygame lead.

I think maybe the key with the sexual prizing stuff is to be comfortable talking about sex, without making it weird, and being SUBTLE about the prizing element

Certainly.

Not sure how much u guys spent talking about sex, but u might also wanna try to talk about this whole topic incidentally, fractionating it with banter/rapport, and ramping it up gradually, but never lingering on it too much.

In general id say favor rapport/comfort-building over sex talk with daygame leads, at least in the first date.

--

Good job with the lead generation and followup dates tho, ure clearly making progress and will get a handle of these things in no time!

 

[alexlaguma]

Spent the last week in Bangkok, 3 lays in the past 5 days all from day game.

1st girl I met in the mall, 2nd girl I met in the same mall the next day after she gave me an IOI and basically stopped at the bottom of the escalator waiting for me to approach. 3rd girl I met in a bookstore - she was holding one of my favourite novels so was just waiting to be approached.

All 3 of them were super hot, I think the 3rd one is in the top 5 of all the girls I've ever slept with. So hot and insanely good sex. She is moving to my city next month so there is potential there.

I feel like I have crazy momentum at the moment and really hope I can bring this feeling back to my home city. With all 3 of these girls I just knew that it was going to happen when I was on the dates, so I just relaxed into it and let the process happen naturally. I didn't really use any tactics or game.

Going back home I'm pretty much starting from scratch, although I do have a few leads from girls I day-gamed in the days before I left. I think I'll do a day game blitz for the rest of the week to build up a pipeline of numbers. I start a new job soon so I want to make sure I've got enough of a pipeline to allow me to take a break from day game for a little bit to focus on work.

 

[alexlaguma]

Haven't wrote in here for ages. Going to start keeping this up to date a bit more to keep myself accountable.

A general update - I had a really good September, picked up loads of numbers, had a bunch of dates. My approach felt so seamless, if I stopped a girl and she was single I was getting her number every time.

But then I got a bit complacent, stopped approaching, had other stuff to focus on (new job etc) and lost pretty much all my social momentum. Pipeline of girls kinda dried up a bit.

I moved to a new cool apartment this week which is in the middle of all the action, loads of hot girls everywhere. So I've tried to force myself back into it this week. It really is like exposure therapy when you step back out into daygame after a hiatus. It feels fucking HORRIBLE for the first few days lol. The AA is mad. But anyway this week I said to myself I'm forcing myself to approach, and I'm going to be relentless for the next few weeks.

I'm actually surprised how bad my approaching has been this week lol. Like its genuinely been shockingly bad, I've lost all rhythm and composure.

I didn't keep exact numbers this week but I did something like 13 or 14 approaches. Not a single phone number lol. Tbh I barely even had a conversation with most of them.

There were quite a few "sorry I've got a bf" but then there were a few where they just didn't even wanna engage.

Difficult to put my finger on exactly what isn't working, but a few thoughts -

- I'm a bit in my head. When I was on form earlier in the year I wasn't even thinking, I was just diving in and being super calm and relaxed. at the moment I'm a bit jittery
- probably a bit too attached to the outcome. Again, when I was on form earlier this year I actually didnt care how the interactions went because i was so busy with other girls.
- It is genuinely just a shit time to game atm in the UK. awful weather, in the middle of a storm. Still, that's just an excuse.

I just need to plough through this initial period of pain to get back to the form I was in earlier in the year. Won't take me long. But I could really do with something dropping in so I can build up a bit of confidence from there.

This stuff is so similar to sports. I play football, and its the same with scoring goals. You go through these dry patches where you can't score and get all in your head about it. But then when you score you just get into that flow state, you remember how good you are, and just relax and do your thing. That's what I need to get back to.

I'm gunna do 20 approaches this week coming up to break myself out of this shit run of form. If I don't get any numbers from another 20 approaches then something is really wrong lol.

 

[alexlaguma]

Repetition truly is the father of learning.

Putting this post in here to remind me that sometimes it takes a little while to shake off the rust, but it is possible and just requires persistence and reflection.

Last week I did nearly 20 cold approaches and had 1 phone number. The week before I did around 15 and got 0. Bearing in mind throughout the whole summer I was close to 1 in 3 for approaches to phone numbers, I found this quite surprising.

Something felt off and I just couldn't find my rhythm with it. I was very rarely getting into an actual conversation with a girl, more often than not they were walking off shaking their head.

Then yesterday I made some tiny adjustments and it all came flooding back to me. It was actually off the back of something @DoWhatWorks said to me recently about sometimes appearing a tiny bit nervous / unprepared can be a positive, as the girl will think you don't do this all the time.

I realised I had been doing the complete opposite - almost going overboard to appear confident in stopping her in the street and then just blurting out that I thought she looked great.

So I changed it up, and I focused on introducing a slight pause when I stop a girl. In that pause I'm almost searching to find the words. In fact I actually am searching for the words ... I'm NOT delivering a generic line, but rather an impromptu variation of my usual opener.

The key for me was to slow everything right down. To not rush, but take my time. If you rush she will rush.

Today I did 4 approaches whilst in/around my office. 3 were successful with phone numbers. 1 was one of those girls thats so hot i had to follow her for like 100 metres lol cus i would've regretted not pursuing. The 4th one had a boyfriend but I don't think I've ever seen a girl so genuinely happy with being complimented.

It felt great and now I'm back in my groove.

Key takeaways

- Sometimes you have to go through a bit of pain to build back momentum
- Take action, reflect, adjust, and take action again. The process works.
- Slow everything down. Look in their eyes. Build comfort. Be genuine and authentic.

 

[Stark]

So I changed it up, and I focused on introducing a slight pause when I stop a girl. In that pause I'm almost searching to find the words. In fact I actually am searching for the words ... I'm NOT delivering a generic line, but rather an impromptu variation of my usual opener.

The key for me was to slow everything right down. To not rush, but take my time. If you rush she will rush.

I had a wing who used to do this exact thing. He'll approach a girl with a 'Hi' and then take ages to say the next words.

He was trying to come up with a genuine opener tailor-made for her.

I noticed that by saying 'Hi' and taking your time, you create an open loop in her mind.

She's put in a suspended state.

She's eager to see what's coming next. You're bypassing her knee-jerk reaction to say 'No' to a pick-up attempt.

And when you finally close the loop with a SLOW opener with more details and specifics about her --- She's Hooked.

I think this is genius.

I felt very awkward hanging out with him in the beginning - I thought that he zoned out because of anxiety.

The opposite was true. He was totally in his zone and didn't give a fuck about taking his time

He was getting way superior results than anyone I had winged with to this day.

Out of the 10 girls he approached that day, he got into long conversation with at least 7 of them.

He got around 3-4 solid numbers. At least 2 of them were DTF but his logistics was not allowing an SDL.

Overall these were amazing results for daygame.

And he's not traditionally good-looking in any way.

Girls just found him very genuine and playful.

His DGAF attitude reeled them in big time.

To top it all, he didn't have any approach anxiety - Why would he be anxious when he didn't care about what to open her with.

He just had to say 'Hi' and trusted himself to create an observational opener 'after' opening her.

I noticed that girls almost always STOP when he did this long pregnant pause. They just keep staring at him, and he used to have this playful vibe and body language trying to string together an opener.

I have to field-test this more myself.

 

[alexlaguma]

I had a wing who used to do this exact thing. He'll approach a girl with a 'Hi' and then take ages to say the next words.

He was trying to come up with a genuine opener tailor-made for her.

I noticed that by saying 'Hi' and taking your time, you create an open loop in her mind.

She's put in a suspended state.

She's eager to see what's coming next. You're bypassing her knee-jerk reaction to say 'No' to a pick-up attempt.

And when you finally close the loop with a SLOW opener with more details and specifics about her --- She's Hooked.

I think this is genius.

I felt very awkward hanging out with him in the beginning - I thought that he zoned out because of anxiety.

The opposite was true. He was totally in his zone and didn't give a fuck about taking his time

He was getting way superior results than anyone I had winged with to this day.

Out of the 10 girls he approached that day, he got into long conversation with at least 7 of them.

He got around 3-4 solid numbers. At least 2 of them were DTF but his logistics was not allowing an SDL.

Overall these were amazing results for daygame.

And he's not traditionally good-looking in any way.

Girls just found him very genuine and playful.

His DGAF attitude reeled them in big time.

To top it all, he didn't have any approach anxiety - Why would he be anxious when he didn't care about what to open her with.

He just had to say 'Hi' and trusted himself to create an observational opener 'after' opening her.

I noticed that girls almost always STOP when he did this long pregnant pause. They just keep staring at him, and he used to have this playful vibe and body language trying to string together an opener.

I have to field-test this more myself.

Exactly that bro. Last week when I was just diving in with my standard line they weren't giving me the time of day.

But when I took this approach, every single one of them stopped, looked at me and listened. Its like if you pause they look at you almost like "come on then ... what is it?" and then when you come out with a genuine compliment specific to them, they just love it.

It feels more natural, less stiff, more like a normal interaction. I'm sticking with it!

 

[gameboy]

So I changed it up, and I focused on introducing a slight pause when I stop a girl. In that pause I'm almost searching to find the words. In fact I actually am searching for the words ... I'm NOT delivering a generic line, but rather an impromptu variation of my usual opener.

The key for me was to slow everything right down. To not rush, but take my time. If you rush she will rush.

Love it! I'm going to give that a try as well.

 

[Atlas IV]

Exactly that bro. Last week when I was just diving in with my standard line they weren't giving me the time of day.

But when I took this approach, every single one of them stopped, looked at me and listened. Its like if you pause they look at you almost like "come on then ... what is it?" and then when you come out with a genuine compliment specific to them, they just love it.

It feels more natural, less stiff, more like a normal interaction. I'm sticking with it!

This is a big revelation for me. I'm going to practice doing this in cold approach too!

Also, nice writeup man, great to see you getting back into the groove.

 

[alexlaguma]

This is a big revelation for me. I'm going to practice doing this in cold approach too!

Also, nice writeup man, great to see you getting back into the groove.

Cheers bro, good to hear from you.

I'm settled in a new place now so I'm leaning into game again heavily - hoping to see some big results in the coming weeks/months!

 

[alexlaguma]

Little update. Had 2 new lays this week. 1 from day game, 1 from social circle. Needed that ... have been through a bit of a dry spell. Hard to pinpoint why. I guess I've been a bit inconsistent with my gaming. Been limited to the odd day game session once a week. Still trying to find a way of incorporating day game into my day-to-day life.

Big focus for me this year is on improving my social circle. Just generally that is an aim, but if it can benefit with me in terms of new girls that would be great also.

Feel like I've slipped back into a nice groove of approaching. Feeling super comfortable making the approach these days. Trying to meditate once/twice a day and feels like that is helping.

Texting is OK ... but still losing quite a few leads.

Have done zero night game this year. Want to get back to doing that for variety also. Hate solo night game though (get way too in my head)

 

[JT Sunshine]

Nice to see the dry spell has been broken! They are rough...

Have done zero night game this year. Want to get back to doing that for variety also. Hate solo night game though (get way too in my head)

I do it a lot, and find the easiest way to get out of your head and warmed up is find a busy place with a bit of a wait at the bar, then find girls waiting at the bar, then go stand by them and open situationally as you wait. Can be a compliment on a clothing item or accessory, tease them on the drink they ordered, or just a simple "how's your night going?" Takes the pressure off as you're there for a shared purpose. I usually order water but I tip the bartenders and try getting to know them too. I've had a couple open girls for me, they can be good "friends" to have when you're out solo.

 

[alexlaguma]

Back in my groove with approaching.

Did 7 approaches today whilst taking breaks from work, i had a very slow work day. These approaches are perfect for me because i work in the busy corporate part of the city, and I wear a suit/tie to work, so always dressed sharp.

7 approaches, 2 numbers, 1 insta.

So funny, no matter how long I do this I still get AA at the first approach. Procrastinated for ages and then eventually said to myself you literally have to do one. And its mad how as soon as you do one the AA just goes completely. Then its like show me the girls i need to approach haha.

Few observations -

1. Gotta remind myself that the aim is to open up a conversation which lasts for a while. Been guilty of moving too quickly in the past.
2. Convinced now that the best way is to just make something up on the spot rather than having a prepared line. the authenticity it carries really helps, even if that includes pauses / stutters
3. Was focused a bit too much on getting approaches done and not enough on quality interactions. EG; qualifying them, building connection, seeding a date etc

Also been reflecting on the level of flakes I get and I think some of it comes down to my text interactions. Sometimes I've been guilty of not really locking the date down, not confirming logistics, and then it just floats away. So its kinda on me. I'm gunna get better at this.

Got a few dates lined up this weekend, all from cold approach.