All Questions March AMA

[Tony D]

So a question about that; how do you not feel approaching that many women as daunting? I'm talking specifically cold approach day game.

One chick Is hard enough, imagine 50.

I could see 20 not being too bad, but 50 is a lot for day game.

I mean, gotta do what you gotta do, so really don't care what the numbers are, but it's just hard doing it so many times with little to no results.

1. How do you look at that number of approaches and not feel like it's too much and keep approaching knowing you have to approach many women to get one chick?

2. Why does it take so many approaches to get a lay?

The guys I know who are great at this stuff, they're willing to work for it. Not just to get any girl... but incredibly hot ones. If you're not getting those sorts of girls, then you aren't doing enough approaches. That's all there is to it.

That said, it is a skill based game and the more you do it, the better you get. Still... cold approach is very inefficient. It's hard for me to explain why this is true, because it's like telling an air breather how to use gills. Sure, you might get lucky on your first try, or your 100th. But the law of averages shows it's closer to 50. Fifty can be done in a few days if you're serious. In a daygame session we would do ten or fifteen approaches, in about 2 hours. Easy. That's why we're coaches, and we get the hottest girls, and everyone else asks "How?"

 

[Isn’t]

The guys I know who are great at this stuff, they're willing to work for it. Not just to get any girl... but incredibly hot ones. If you're not getting those sorts of girls, then you aren't doing enough approaches. That's all there is to it.

That said, it is a skill based game and the more you do it, the better you get. Still... cold approach is very inefficient. It's hard for me to explain why this is true, because it's like telling an air breather how to use gills. Sure, you might get lucky on your first try, or your 100th. But the law of averages shows it's closer to 50. Fifty can be done in a few days if you're serious. In a daygame session we would do ten or fifteen approaches, in about 2 hours. Easy. That's why we're coaches, and we get the hottest girls, and everyone else asks "How?"

To add on this, in big cities like NYC, doing 5 - 10 approaches in an hour is doable, if you do it in busy hours and choose right spots.
Using this logic I think doing 100 approaches a month is quite feasible. That should get about 1 hot girl or 2 nice girls a month.
Now compare that with online dating. Unless you are a tall white dude ( I am not) it’s really hard to pull off these numbers.

 

[ulrich]

Easiest way though is to have a space and host awesome parties.

Sounds good. Thanks!!

Is there any guide on throwing parties or building a network for partying?

 

[Sub-Zero]

The guys I know who are great at this stuff, they're willing to work for it. Not just to get any girl... but incredibly hot ones. If you're not getting those sorts of girls, then you aren't doing enough approaches. That's all there is to it.

That said, it is a skill based game and the more you do it, the better you get. Still... cold approach is very inefficient. It's hard for me to explain why this is true, because it's like telling an air breather how to use gills. Sure, you might get lucky on your first try, or your 100th. But the law of averages shows it's closer to 50. Fifty can be done in a few days if you're serious. In a daygame session we would do ten or fifteen approaches, in about 2 hours. Easy. That's why we're coaches, and we get the hottest girls, and everyone else asks "How?"

What is considered efficient then? Don’t most men need to do cold approach to get a lot of lays without putting time into becoming rich and famous?

You could always do that, but you don’t know if you’ll make it or even when.

Doing cold approach seems to be the fastest thing to do.

But I’d like to hear more about what is more efficient to do.

From this site it makes me think that cold approach is more efficient because you can meet women anywhere and the worlds yours compared to other dating methods.

I’d really like to hear more about this.

 

[ElderPrice]

So a question about that; how do you not feel approaching that many women as daunting? I'm talking specifically cold approach day game.

One chick Is hard enough, imagine 50.

I could see 20 not being too bad, but 50 is a lot for day game.

I mean, gotta do what you gotta do, so really don't care what the numbers are, but it's just hard doing it so many times with little to no results.

1. How do you look at that number of approaches and not feel like it's too much and keep approaching knowing you have to approach many women to get one chick?

2. Why does it take so many approaches to get a lay?

It's not daunting because the more cold day approaches you make, the more approaches you WANT to make. You'll see after the first few that you survived. You didn't die. Soon you'll see that some girls you approach are indeed interested, but maybe not available. You'll want to keep approaching to find the ones that are. Soon you'll actually start kicking yourself when you see a stunner but pussed out. You'll want to keep approaching to not puss out the next time.

50 is a lot for one day, but if you can find 5-10 girls to talk to each day, then you can cover that in a week. What did the link say again? 50 approaches to get 1 lay? Dude if the trade off for talking to 5-10 cute girls each day is that EACH WEEK you will fuck 1 new hot girl, that sounds like a pretty fair deal, doesn't it? And that's not even taking into account what happens with the other 49 girls. Maybe some are LR-s? Maybe some add you to their social circle of hot friends? Maybe some become good friends?

To answer why it takes so many approaches, you need to think about the outcome you're pursuing and HOW MANY FREAKING VARIABLES are at work here. Yeah she's hot, but maybe:
- She's happy taken
- She's having a bad day
- She's not interested in meeting new people today
- She's into guys completely different from you
- She's not your type
- She's distracted by something else (friends/family/misfortunes)
- She's interested but very shy
- She's interested but botches the interaction herself
The list goes on and on.

Sorry Tony for hijacking!

 

[Sub-Zero]

It's not daunting because the more cold day approaches you make, the more approaches you WANT to make. You'll see after the first few that you survived. You didn't die. Soon you'll see that some girls you approach are indeed interested, but maybe not available. You'll want to keep approaching to find the ones that are. Soon you'll actually start kicking yourself when you see a stunner but pussed out. You'll want to keep approaching to not puss out the next time.

50 is a lot for one day, but if you can find 5-10 girls to talk to each day, then you can cover that in a week. What did the link say again? 50 approaches to get 1 lay? Dude if the trade off for talking to 5-10 cute girls each day is that EACH WEEK you will fuck 1 new hot girl, that sounds like a pretty fair deal, doesn't it? And that's not even taking into account what happens with the other 49 girls. Maybe some are LR-s? Maybe some add you to their social circle of hot friends? Maybe some become good friends?

To answer why it takes so many approaches, you need to think about the outcome you're pursuing and HOW MANY FREAKING VARIABLES are at work here. Yeah she's hot, but maybe:
- She's happy taken
- She's having a bad day
- She's not interested in meeting new people today
- She's into guys completely different from you
- She's not your type
- She's distracted by something else (friends/family/misfortunes)
- She's interested but very shy
- She's interested but botches the interaction herself
The list goes on and on.

Sorry Tony for hijacking!

Yeah you’re right man, you made it sound a lot better. I mean there’s really no choice right? Lol so I gotta do what I gotta do.

Glad to see you’re still going strong.

Thanks bro.

 

[Tony D]

Sounds good. Thanks!!

Is there any guide on throwing parties or building a network for partying?

Chase wrote this. https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-plan-party-makes-you-friends-and-gets-you-girls

 

[Witcher]

@Tony D
First of thanks for your time. My biggest SP right now is: what is the best and smoothest way to end the dates I don't plan to pull the girl home on. I usually use the following date template.
I know there is many ways with pro an cons but what is in your opinion the go-to one you would recommend to a beginner?

 

[Tony D]

@Tony D
First of thanks for your time. My biggest SP right now is: what is the best and smoothest way to end the dates I don't plan to pull the girl home on. I usually use the following date template.
I know there is many ways with pro an cons but what is in your opinion the go-to one you would recommend to a beginner?

Are you not ending your dates smoothly? What does this mean? Elaborate.

 

[Don Giovanni]

Hey, appreciate the work you are doing here.
So my question is... couple weeks before the quarantine started in my country I made out with a girl almost every time I went out. I failed to isolate them mostly so I grabbed their social media. But the next day they don't reply. I'm usually pretty direct and open about my interests in person and in text. Whats the female psychology behind these scenarios? How can I prevent these from happening?
Thanks

 

[Witcher]

Are you not ending your dates smoothly? What does this mean? Elaborate.

Re-reading this I notice that I made my question more confusing than it should be! So the question is, what's the best way to end a date?
Up to know I do as advised by Backdragon, We get out of the coffee shop and walk together (usually holding hands), at point of separation I give her a hug we part ways.

Even if until now this gave me okay results. by that I mean some second dates, I am always worried that I should end the date with a kiss or the girls may consider the meeting platonic and then I end up in Friendzone or auto rejection. but on the other hand, I see others advising to not kiss because it kills the tension. Since I still don't have enough personal reference to find the best I'm still confused at which one to take as a "default" protocol until I develop a better intuition that allows me to calibrate to the situation.

 

[Sub-Zero]

@Tony D

How do you think you can fix this situation?

Fundamentals are pretty decent, even have been told this countless times. Can attract many women and have them agree to go out, get their contact information, even text and talk after, but can’t get them out?

 

[Tony D]

@Tony D

How do you think you can fix this situation?

Fundamentals are pretty decent, even have been told this countless times. Can attract many women and have them agree to go out, get their contact information, even text and talk after, but can’t get them out?

Well, this isn't really enough information.

My biggest problem with pickup is the incredibly high amount of flaking and rejections. That doesn't change for anyone. It doesn't matter how "good" you are. It comes down to the sales funnel. Getting good reactions, but not getting dates? Double your approaches, double your leads.

Most guys underestimate how many girls the really active guys approach. They also hype up in their minds how "good" they think we are.

I've hung out with lots of "pro" pickup artists. You'll see that they're just men, like you and me. They don't have any special tricks. They're just more calm, confident... a little bit more witty or charming. But most of all, they're willing to approach hundreds of women to get the one they want.