Always remember her name

[cuffs]

Just like the title says. Forgetting her name five minutes after her telling you is bad... from my experience,very bad.

I was at a party on Friday, chatted up a few girls, but only too one girl's number. Now before I talked to this girl, I talked to another with a similar name as her. So, imagine her face when I called her with the wrong name. Through out the nigh, I kept calling her with the wrong name. She looked like she was about to cry when I kept insisting that, that was her name.

She later asked me to pronounce her name, which I made a mistake, again. Luckily I remembered it, and after seeing her looking sad, I gave her a big smile and said I was joking, pronounced it right,and we fly off in to the sunset.

Cuffs

 

[Light]

Hi Cuffs,

haha you're abosulutely right. Another reason why it is not really a good idea picking up girls while you're drunk. I'm quite good with names, but there was a time where I was asking her what she was studying at the moment, she told me Geography. I completely forgot it.
The next time I met her on another day, I stupidly asked her the same question again, and she was very disappointed.
I screwed up.

So really it is not just her name, but you have to really pay attention to everything she say and remember everything. At least if you don't remember, avoid asking the same questions.


Light

 

[Chase]

Yes, definitely sucks when you forget something (her name, major, etc.) that you really ought to remember - much of the time you can defray this though if you remember other things about her... this is where some callback humor comes into good effect.

You tell her you forget her name, and she reminds you, and you say, "Great, so when we go art shopping later I won't have to tell the curator 'this girl I came with and I are interested in paints of horses,'" if, say, the two of you talked about paintings about horses and you'd joked about going to buy these paintings with her.

Also, on memory - if your memory is spotty and you want to make sure you remember something, use a mnemonic trick to remember it. For instance, her name is Alice, and when you meet her you imagine her tumbling down a rabbit hole and talking to a Cheshire cat. Or, her name is Tina and you imagine her being very tiny. Or her major is geography, so you imagine her looking over a map with a spyglass and a globe. Little tricks like that - the mind is much better at remembering pictures than it is at remembering names and words.

Chase

 

[Rasta]

Chase,

I've been experimenting with ways of remembering names. So far I've seen pretty solid progress, but I haven't tried your technique yet. Definitely sounds like a good idea. Thanks for the tip!

 

[Penguin]

Cuffs, this is actually essential dating advice despite how trivial it may seem . If you forget her name and call her the wrong one by mistake, that could ruin everything. Just yesterday I got a girl's phone number but didn't write her name down with it like I should have done. I had a feeling I knew what her name was, but was only 60% certain. Judging from her reply when I texted, I fortunately guessed correctly . So guys, don't take it for granted that you will remember her name. If you forget you might not get very far without it .

 

[Jay]

Actually in my experience, the shiftiness of forgetting a girl's name depends entirely on the situation. For example, I forgot a couple girls names who I met at a huge, noisy party and talked to for maybe 5 minutes each (I was in a hurry, and had a girlfriend at the time, though I did not mention this to any of them) and when I saw two of them on campus the next day and they called to me, I just had to admit I didn't remember their names, and they didn't seem to mind because there was no real reason to expect me to remember them. On the other hand, I am shamed to admit I was once in the terribly awkward situation of waking up next to a girl who was cuddling me (awake) while I slept and told me she had a great time and wanted to spend the day with me...and I had not a god damn clue what her name was, and didn't in fact even remember picking her up. She didn't take this fact very well and I had to avoid her and her (very hot) friends for awhile. I digressed a bit, but point is the whole name forgetting thing can go both ways.

 

[Rasta]

Actually in my experience, the shiftiness of forgetting a girl's name depends entirely on the situation. For example, I forgot a couple girls names who I met at a huge, noisy party and talked to for maybe 5 minutes each (I was in a hurry, and had a girlfriend at the time, though I did not mention this to any of them) and when I saw two of them on campus the next day and they called to me, I just had to admit I didn't remember their names, and they didn't seem to mind because there was no real reason to expect me to remember them. On the other hand, I am shamed to admit I was once in the terribly awkward situation of waking up next to a girl who was cuddling me (awake) while I slept and told me she had a great time and wanted to spend the day with me...and I had not a god damn clue what her name was, and didn't in fact even remember picking her up. She didn't take this fact very well and I had to avoid her and her (very hot) friends for awhile. I digressed a bit, but point is the whole name forgetting thing can go both ways.

Good point, Jay. In some circumstances, like the noisy club for you, people will allow us to forget their names. But what's really impressive is when you do remember their names after such an event.

I saw this person the other day that I hadn't seen for almost a year, and I still remembered her name. It was at a party and we only chatted up for a few minutes, so no real reason to remember her name. When I saw her I said "Hey xx, long time no see", she literally dropped her jaw and said "you are a genious. How did you remember my name after all this time?"

This is incredibly powerful! A name defines that very person and if you take the time to remember someones name you make them feel super important. A feeling of importance is what everyone is after. So if you surprise people by remembering their names when no one else would, you will be one step ahead with your game.

 

[Franco]

A name defines that very person and if you take the time to remember someones name you make them feel super important. A feeling of importance is what everyone is after. So if you surprise people by remembering their names when no one else would, you will be one step ahead with your game.

I have to agree here with Rasta.

While there are certainly situations where not remembering a girl's name will do no harm (especially if she was attracted to you and your vibe), there is never a situation where remembering a girl's name isn't going to score you points (even if they are small ones).

And I'm not sure about everyone else on this board, but I have the type of personality that likes to score every single point possible -- especially the easy ones.

- Franco

 

[Jay]

Very true y'all. Remembering names in that situation does make an impression, I just happen to not have the best memory for it...

 

[cuffs]

Talking about all this name memory.... Just approached a girl (Story in another post) and got her number, but, I forgot her name lol.

 

[Rasta]

I used to think my memory was too bad to remember names. Turns out I was just lying to myself because I didn't want to put forth the extra effort. Try what Chase said, I really think it can help you out

Also, on memory - if your memory is spotty and you want to make sure you remember something, use a mnemonic trick to remember it. For instance, her name is Alice, and when you meet her you imagine her tumbling down a rabbit hole and talking to a Cheshire cat. Or, her name is Tina and you imagine her being very tiny. Or her major is geography, so you imagine her looking over a map with a spyglass and a globe. Little tricks like that - the mind is much better at remembering pictures than it is at remembering names and words.

Chase

 

[Rationalis]

There's a funny story... I was plastered, talked to this girl for 45 minutes and I mistakenly called her Alyssa when her name was Bethany. She said "no, but close" and I retorted with: "You know I was just kidding..." while looking her dead in the eye. Sometimes this may work, sometimes this may not but I already established myself as a guy that frequently jokes so she thought this was another one of my jokes.

 

[Chase]

There's a funny story... I was plastered, talked to this girl for 45 minutes and I mistakenly called her Alyssa when her name was Bethany. She said "no, but close" and I retorted with: "You know I was just kidding..." while looking her dead in the eye. Sometimes this may work, sometimes this may not but I already established myself as a guy that frequently jokes so she thought this was another one of my jokes.

A great retort if a girl gives you heat for mixing up her name is laughing a little and saying, "Okay, okay... well, what's my name?" Ideally, she remembers it and tell you, to which you say, "Touché! Clearly your memory is sharper than mine," and she's just shown that she's somewhat more interested in you than you are in her (at least, that's how it feels to you)...

... or, she dodges the question, in which case you call her out (in a very fun way) for putting pressure on you when she herself did not remember. "A ha HA! Miss Grand Inquisitor! The emperor has no clothes, it would appear!" At this point, you now want to immediately shift the focus off her clothes, and get her investing - it's time to escalate things (she's going to leave soon if you don't know her and she doesn't know you, UNLESS you escalate things - get her sitting with you if you aren't yet, or move her toward leaving the venue and heading home with you, or take her out to grab a bite of food). The reason you do this is to 1) break her reaction to neither of you knowing the other's names, and 2) force her to decide if she's interested in things going forward with this man whose name she does not show or not (without forcing the decision, she probably walks away; force it, and you've got about a 40% chance of her going with you).

The interesting thing is moving things forward with a girl when both of you know neither of you know one another's names. A number of girls will do it if they like you, but you need to stop them from thinking too much about the name topic, or else it can be a deal breaker.

Chase

 

[Nova]

another good tip would be to actually say her name during conversation. it personalizes things and allows her to feel more connected to you.

 

[cuffs]

Another one I thought of would be to ask her to spell it to you after she says her name. So it'll go something like this:

Cuffs: Hey, I saw you and thought you were attractive, so i came to see what you were like.
Girl: Thank you.
Cuffs: I'm Cuffs
Girl: I'm Hanna
Cuffs: How do you spell that? Because I know a Hanna who has a K at the beginning of her name.
Girl: Oh, really? Well mine is, H-a-n-n-a.

Just like that.

 

[Chase]

Cuffs-

Another one I thought of would be to ask her to spell it to you after she says her name. So it'll go something like this:

Cuffs: Hey, I saw you and thought you were attractive, so i came to see what you were like.
Girl: Thank you.
Cuffs: I'm Cuffs
Girl: I'm Hanna
Cuffs: How do you spell that? Because I know a Hanna who has a K at the beginning of her name.
Girl: Oh, really? Well mine is, H-a-n-n-a.

Just like that.

I forgot this one, but it's a great one to use.

If you say a girl's name 2 or 3 times at the start of a conversation, you're not likely to forget it.

My custom greeting now goes like this:

• Me: I'm Chase.
  
  Girl: I'm Erin.
  
  Me: Hi Erin, nice to meet you.
  
  Girl: Nice to meet you too, Chase!

Girls will usually use your name back when you do it this way. This has the added bonus of BOTH of you being more likely to remember one another's names, and not forgetting or getting awkward later.

Chase

 

[Rasta]

Good point. I find that people are more likely to use your name when you use theirs first.

If repeating it or attaching an image/meaning to the name doesn't work for you, try to write it down when you are in private. Write it down on a peace of paper, fix it, then tear the paper up. I'm pretty sure Napoleon used this method when he met someone new. Sometimes not all of these methods work, but I've yet to see all 3 methods fail me.

 

[ramirezs316]

Another one I thought of would be to ask her to spell it to you after she says her name. So it'll go something like this:

Cuffs: Hey, I saw you and thought you were attractive, so i came to see what you were like.
Girl: Thank you.
Cuffs: I'm Cuffs
Girl: I'm Hanna
Cuffs: How do you spell that? Because I know a Hanna who has a K at the beginning of her name.
Girl: Oh, really? Well mine is, H-a-n-n-a.

Just like that.

I can attest to this. It's not just a good way to remember a girl's name, it can get them to open up a little. I met a Monica last night and simply asked her, "Is that with a 'c' or a 'k.?" She told me 'c' and then started joking about how much cooler he name would be with a 'k' or a 'q' even. I met a Megan earlier this week and playfully guessed how to spell her name even though it's a relatively easy name to spell. She and her friend both had fun with that.