Oh CRAP!
I finally burst out of it fellas. I see the situation with clear eyes now.
I could describe what I see as the reality of the dance teacher but that doesn't matter. The point of value here is in
HOW I healed some shitty feelings towards seduction, and when I healed those it was like "OH! This situation is stupid".
So check it out guys.
There are two "mentalities" in this situation. You can only be in ONE at a time.
1.
Oneitis AKA being in love and all the feelings towards that girl. The more I focus on explaining "why" of the situation, the more it expands and it just becomes stupid as fuck.
2.
Seduction! This is basically the path of believing in my own awesomeness and staying in touch with the reality of dating and what women want and fucking pussy and such. This could also be called
taking the path to get what I want!
Now. Here's the question.
WHY was I trapped in the first mentality? When the teacher rejected me, I literally wrote in down in a journal "I REFUSE to talk to other girls".
Well, I'm still digging through stuff but when I asked myself "
what do I feel towards seduction and dating?" I uncovered some deep shit!
I realized:
1. I didn't believe in myself. Despite the successes I've had with women, I at some point stopped believing the effect I had on women was real
2. I had very deep apathy towards seduction. I was in this state of kinda hopelessness
And there are probably more feelings there (I'ma dig through them and re-energize everything) but the point is, I just
did not feel good towards seduction.
I stopped believing in myself because I got my heartbroken years ago in a shitty way and I didn't process it well.
But the interesting one is the apathy.
See, when I first started reading Girlschase and got into seduction, I was SUPER excited and into it.
But here's the problem.
At the time, I was a teenager with no car, no house (not even a room lmao, I slept in the living room), and not even a phone!
I was not in a situation to learn the full process of pickup (approach to lay). AND my school was tiny as shit, so I couldn't really approach that much. All I could do was grind my fundamentals and conversation and flirting and general social abilities.
So I did! I got super good at what I could and a ton of girls at my school were horny for me. BUT. I stopped right at the point where I would get "close" to girls and ask them out, because I didn't have a phone and didn't want to be embarrassed.
What did this cause?
Well firstly, girls would eventually move on because I wouldn't smash them. So I started to get bitter towards the fact that I had to have sex with a girl in order to get her (of course I'd feel bitter in that situation). Side note this affected my relationship with sex later on.
And then I just started feeling really hopeless, too.
My mom at the time barely let me leave the house
. There was no reason to keep giving energy towards seduction so my body kinda just shut down in that area of life (which, energetically, was the smart thing to do)
Eventually I got a job and a phone but by then, I was already in love with the girl who would break my heart. Whoops...
What is the point of all of this?
It is that I had
"learned helplessness".
I had so much
apathy because of my situation... and... I carried that apathy into college.
So even though NOW I had freedom and girls were everywhere and I could finally approach and put my cock into these girls, my BODY was still in that old mentality of "what's the point?"
...
So what's the solution?
Let all that old apathy go! There are endless possibilities now!
I have some really awesome friends and women in my life. I'm evolving at a rate like never before, learning SO much stuff-- my habits are starting to lock in, I'm about to get a computer science degree from the #5 ranked computer science school in the world, I know all this letting go stuff (great emotional intelligence), I had some great initial successes cold approaching and
there are infinite possibilities!
It's time to dig through all those old feelings towards seduction that aren't serving me anymore... and re-kindle the confidence and belief and especially
enjoyment I once had towards women, romance and seduction!
Aww FUCK yeah!
. I just wanna be at peace.
. My friends are so cool and awesome and ambitious!
