Approach anxiety or whatever it may be

[iflipdesks]

Trying to get good with girls, in a more sexual way.
It's not that I can't talk to them, It's just that I can't talk to the ones I have an interest in. For some reason I've always found it odd that I can only approach girls who I am not interested in. Perhaps it's the fear of rejection or perhaps it's self-consciousness - I'm not completely sure.

I am a university student, and the second semester of classes have just begun. I tried to apply Chase's article "Cute Girls in Class? Stop Flirting and Start DATING", but I failed to take the most important step (Starting a conversation, or sitting beside that beautiful girl). I don't know what stops me from doing this. I mean, I'm thinking about her the whole class - I'm thinking about why I chose to sit a seat away from her and all sorts of stuff. I regret it after class, and start saying things like "I hate myself for not talking to her."

Personally, I don't think it's approach anxiety, since my heart doesn't start to race like a Ferrari. I just feel that I am not exactly an emotional person, so if i approach her I won't be able to smile as much, or won't be able to laugh as much with her. I also used to be afraid of coming off in an awkward way, but I've gotten rid of that trait for the most part. I can care less about making things awkward around people I don't take interest in, but for some reason I feel that I need to leave the best impression possible on someone I am interested in.

I will greatly appreciate any words of wisdom regarding my post. If you've ever been in the same shoes, or have experienced something similar, then PLEASE let me know how you overcame your problem. I will hate to waste more time, since the 2nd week of school will begin starting Monday, and initiating a conversation any later than that will be a bit useless (Attraction Expiration, and so on).

 

[Knight]

Hi trimorkell,

I believe your mind is seeing this girl you're interested in and over-thinking itself. You're attracted in these women because of perceived value that she can share with you. However, your mind is over-complicating, over-thinking and downright sabotaging every chance you and this woman have.

I remember Ricardus offering advice on how to get past this unwanted stage. It went along the lines of tricking yourself.

(internal monologue)
"Okay, I'll walk over there"
"I'm going to stand next to that woman, but I won't talk to her!"
"I'm going to talk to her, but keep things casual!"
"I'm going to make her invest, but won't ask her out"
and so on...

I'm too young for Uni myself and am unaware with the etiquette of how things are done on site to do with layouts, seating and out of class landscapes however from what I know it may be possible to spark a short conversation just before your class, and then use the excuse of class to get her to move and invest with you. To better explain myself I believe you should directly open her with something along the lines of
"Hey, I just saw you )standing/walking/sitting) here....and just had to compliment... you on your (walk/style/posture or whatever you find intriguing from her). I'm trimorkell"
and lead on for there. Within 5 minutes preferably move her to sit with you. Use your class to accomplish this, as you will remain effortless. So for example
"I enjoy talking to you -her name-... but class starts soon. Come and sit with me"
With that, start to walk towards your class with the inner confidence that she will follow or at least protest. If she protests, you'll have to work on the spot - but don't give up! Remain cool and think of a reason why she should come with you.


OR

If you meet her and getting her to come to class/wherever else with you isn't an option get her to invest, such as moving somewhere. With the knowledge that you can't forward this interaction any more beyond rapport, get her on a date. Chase has some excellent articles on this site on how to do this. With that, follow up then and only then with your number exchanged for hers.


Best of luck.
- Knight

 

[Light]

Here you go buddy:

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=697&hilit=+anxiety

https://www.girlschase.com/content/overcoming-approach-anxiety

 

[Whizzy]

If you're afraid of making the wrong impression in class make up an excuse to get her number/email and just get personal or set up a date that way