Socializing Approaching 10s / Scary sets. (Advanced guys reply)

[LimeLight]

So, how do you guys manage to do these 2 things when you see a girl or set that is intimidating, the girl being so attractive or more attractive than what you’re used to so there’s a limiting belief surrounding her hotness.

1. Actually approaching.
2. Believing you can seduce her.

I’ve only laid one 9/10 hotness girl before, so long ago.

I am referring to when you’re going about your normal day or for day game, it’s not as difficult in a bar or night club, especially if you’re out just to approach and you get into state after a few warm up approaches.

But how about when you’re running an errand and are not dressed or look the best you can look, and you’re not in state, and might not be in a social mood.

How do you manage to approach girls so hot they scare you or sets that are intimidating?

And how do you maintain the belief you can succeed?

 

[WierdDough]

I call it improving your baseline. Simply put, if youre not used to talking to stunners, youre gonna get stunned. Think of it like jumping a chasm, like across two rooftops. In the beginning even small jumps may be scary, but after a while it gets fun. Progressing to bigger jumps gets exciting, not scary. Same with stunners.

Hope that helps.

 

[LimeLight]

I call it improving your baseline. Simply put, if youre not used to talking to stunners, youre gonna get stunned. Think of it like jumping a chasm, like across two rooftops. In the beginning even small jumps may be scary, but after a while it gets fun. Progressing to bigger jumps gets exciting, not scary. Same with stunners.

Hope that helps.

I get you.
Desensitization.
The issue is also believing I can succeed.

You can desensitize yourself to approaching high quality women and scary sets, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re closer to seducing them.

I just boiled down all the qualities necessary to seduce a quality girl that’s attractive enough to be intimidating down to one characteristic, true belief in yourself that you can lay her.

I was hoping more advanced guys would reply to this.

I’ve learned 2 things in the community.

1. Most guy‘s ratings of girls are skewed and they add 2 to the girls rating. So my 6 is most people’s 8s.

2. About 1-2% of the community can even lay girls who are solid 8s and above consistently.

 

[WierdDough]

I get you.
Desensitization.
The issue is also believing I can succeed.

You can desensitize yourself to approaching high quality women and scary sets, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re closer to seducing them.

I just boiled down all the qualities necessary to seduce a quality girl that’s attractive enough to be intimidating down to one characteristic, true belief in yourself that you can lay her.

I was hoping more advanced guys would reply to this.

I’ve learned 2 things in the community.

1. Most guy‘s ratings of girls are skewed and they add 2 to the girls rating. So my 6 is most people’s 8s.

2. About 1-2% of the community can even lay girls who are solid 8s and above consistently.

I mean, if you got all the answers, why are you asking for help? Nevermind, I´ll still entertain this.

From what you write I see a lot of beginner level mentality, and that´s why I´ve given you a beginner level answer. For example, You seem to view seduction as some kind of persuasion. You want to know how to show off your coolest features, how to demonstrate that you are some sex-worthy guy, find a way to instill super confidence within yourself. It ain´t that deep. Persuasion is like sales, and that mentality gives beginners a lot of frustration. The belief that a girl should like you because you have xyz qualities.

Seduction is much more like influence. Think festivals. When people are there, their behavior shifts to being more free and in the moment, their defences drop, they try new and exciting things. Being a seducer means instilling that kind of influence in women. Being around you makes them drop their guard, and agree to all kinds of new experiences.

It is not belief that you can lay her. Everybody fucks. Everybody loves sex.

It is not about your belief in yourself. It´s about your beliefs in women and sexuality.

Also, cut the crap about how you rate women higher than others. That´s just insecurity speaking.

 

[Rakehell]

You asked for help from advanced guys but approach anxiety and the relative hotness of girls isn’t something that advanced guys typically think about.

I think this is a stage that most go through & some get over quicker than others.

How good any given girl looks to me is motivating more than it is scary. It’s a factor that encourages me, it doesn’t discourage me.

Simply because i’d rather talk to a girl i’m very attracted to than someone I consider average (Unless they are making it easy enough for me that I’m motivated enough to pursue).

Her personality matters more in terms of how well talking to her will go. And naturally beautiful people can be some of the most self conscious and negative self evaluating in terms of their appearance, so they are generally alot nicer and submissive.

This is because of the amount of effort it takes to maintain their appearance, and how frequently people comment on it.

You need to shift your thinking from how “hot” she is to “I wonder if i’ll like her”, because the latter is what’ll matter more in the long run of dealing and vibing with her. The initiative you take should be a evaluation process of her character and how she responds to your efforts, don’t be sold from the jump because of how she looks alone.

 

[Rakehell]

For example if she is very beautiful but seems like she’s a prude or very inexperienced, or maybe her face is nice but her body isn’t your preferred type, it can overshadow her looks once you are laying with her if this is something you care about.

They influence how attracted sexually you feel to her, how much she turns you on.

Focusing on these things instead of just how she looks gives you a more levelheaded outlook on going to talk to her.

 

[LimeLight]

I mean, if you got all the answers, why are you asking for help? Nevermind, I´ll still entertain this.

From what you write I see a lot of beginner level mentality, and that´s why I´ve given you a beginner level answer. For example, You seem to view seduction as some kind of persuasion. You want to know how to show off your coolest features, how to demonstrate that you are some sex-worthy guy, find a way to instill super confidence within yourself. It ain´t that deep. Persuasion is like sales, and that mentality gives beginners a lot of frustration. The belief that a girl should like you because you have xyz qualities.

Seduction is much more like influence. Think festivals. When people are there, their behavior shifts to being more free and in the moment, their defences drop, they try new and exciting things. Being a seducer means instilling that kind of influence in women. Being around you makes them drop their guard, and agree to all kinds of new experiences.

It is not belief that you can lay her. Everybody fucks. Everybody loves sex.

It is not about your belief in yourself. It´s about your beliefs in women and sexuality.

Also, cut the crap about how you rate women higher than others. That´s just insecurity speaking.

Oh, my post wasn’t an attack on you. The thought crossed my mind after posting it that it sounded like I was referring to you when I referenced those examples.

 

[LimeLight]

I mean, if you got all the answers, why are you asking for help? Nevermind, I´ll still entertain this.

From what you write I see a lot of beginner level mentality, and that´s why I´ve given you a beginner level answer. For example, You seem to view seduction as some kind of persuasion. You want to know how to show off your coolest features, how to demonstrate that you are some sex-worthy guy, find a way to instill super confidence within yourself. It ain´t that deep. Persuasion is like sales, and that mentality gives beginners a lot of frustration. The belief that a girl should like you because you have xyz qualities.

Seduction is much more like influence. Think festivals. When people are there, their behavior shifts to being more free and in the moment, their defences drop, they try new and exciting things. Being a seducer means instilling that kind of influence in women. Being around you makes them drop their guard, and agree to all kinds of new experiences.

It is not belief that you can lay her. Everybody fucks. Everybody loves sex.

It is not about your belief in yourself. It´s about your beliefs in women and sexuality.

Also, cut the crap about how you rate women higher than others. That´s just insecurity speaking.

Thanks for pointing that out. This was helpful.

 

[LimeLight]

Also, cut the crap about how you rate women higher than others. That´s just insecurity speaking.

I was referencing my experiences, on the DC lair it was divided by advanced members and others. Pictures were shared and the guys not on the advanced board always inflated the rating. Although I should have specified that I didn’t mean this board when I wrote that.

 

[LimeLight]

For example if she is very beautiful but seems like she’s a prude or very inexperienced, or maybe her face is nice but her body isn’t your preferred type, it can overshadow her looks once you are laying with her if this is something you care about.

They influence how attracted sexually you feel to her, how much she turns you on.

Focusing on these things instead of just how she looks gives you a more levelheaded outlook on going to talk to her.

Good stuff! Thanks.

 

[LimeLight]

Advice from skills:

I am a nightgamer but things that help is killing aa, with aa drills and reps snd 3 second rule from mystery and opening indirectly or situationally... brain fuck yourself as giving her the gift of meeting you.. and rejection is no personal and the only thing that matters is to open... Opening equals success.... Those are things that help which is water is wet... Having pre situational go to things to say in case you go blank helps or pre openers like can i meet you real quick or this is kind of random and I don't usually do this but i had to meet cause you are very attractive to see if your looks match your personality or style compliments, look at james d last report for example...straydog had a supermarket post that is really good too... James d is a good day gamer and straydog....pm them..

 

[LimeLight]

Also, if I came across as cocky or conceited or defensive, that was not my intention. I am just here to learn and achieve my goals and be happy in the end. Cheers.

 

[assman93]

I just boiled down all the qualities necessary to seduce a quality girl that’s attractive enough to be intimidating down to one characteristic, true belief in yourself that you can lay her.

This, which partially comes from reference experiences. If you think a girl is 10 that means you're highly attracted to her, which is a great basis for a cold approach.

I have felt that initial intimidation too, I usually try to turn down the knob on my anxious thoughts and get in touch with my raw desire until I feel the fear and do it anyway. Ultimately with cold approach regardless of the girl's looks there are always contingencies that are outside your control.

I have found exceptionally beautiful people are usually pretty socially gracious, so a super hot girl will usually at least give you time of day. Best case scenario you get a lead with a super hot girl, worst case scenario you get a nice interaction with her.

As Steve Jabba put it, "if she makes your dick hard when you look at her, you owe it to yourself to approach".

 

[WierdDough]

Oh I never felt attacked, no offence taken.

On the rating thing, we had a big thread about it a few weeks back with a bunch of guys getting in a dick measuring contest about what´s a real ten. I just think comparing like that stems from insecurity, and I call it out when I see it.

I can see that you are looking for more advanced advice, so here´s my tip. Phrase your question in a way that makes it more specific to your situation. Specify if it´s about opening, hooking the set, getting her to chase, escalating, isolating, setting frames, logistics, compliance etc. Also specify in what situation, give examples, and tell us how your interactions with stunners differ from normal sets for you. Then we can help you better, and give you the advice you are looking for. If the question is too basic, then the answer will be a bit basic as well.

 

[LimeLight]

This, which partially comes from reference experiences. If you think a girl is 10 that means you're highly attracted to her, which is a great basis for a cold approach.

I have felt that initial intimidation too, I usually try to turn down the knob on my anxious thoughts and get in touch with my raw desire until I feel the fear and do it anyway. Ultimately with cold approach regardless of the girl's looks there are always contingencies that are outside your control.

I have found exceptionally beautiful people are usually pretty socially gracious, so a super hot girl will usually at least give you time of day. Best case scenario you get a lead with a super hot girl, worst case scenario you get a nice interaction with her.

As Steve Jabba put it, "if she makes your dick hard when you look at her, you owe it to yourself to approach".

Contrary to most people’s experience, at least when not in a club or a group of their friends in club mode, the more attractive a girl is, the nicer she is, in my experience.

The few legit 10s I was friends with in college were incredibly kind, beyond normal.

 

[LimeLight]

Oh I never felt attacked, no offence taken.

On the rating thing, we had a big thread about it a few weeks back with a bunch of guys getting in a dick measuring contest about what´s a real ten. I just think comparing like that stems from insecurity, and I call it out when I see it.

I can see that you are looking for more advanced advice, so here´s my tip. Phrase your question in a way that makes it more specific to your situation. Specify if it´s about opening, hooking the set, getting her to chase, escalating, isolating, setting frames, logistics, compliance etc. Also specify in what situation, give examples, and tell us how your interactions with stunners differ from normal sets for you. Then we can help you better, and give you the advice you are looking for. If the question is too basic, then the answer will be a bit basic as well.

Oh, I see. I never saw that thread. I would never waste time debating what a “true 10” is, isn’t that dependent entirely on the individual?

I was using “10” in the title as a generalization for a girl who’s super hot and intimidating, that most guys would rate at least 8.5.

I did not word this post correctly for advanced answers, thanks for that. I oversimplified it and expected people to read between the lines for some odd reason.

Thanks everyone who contributed.

@weirddough @assman93 @Rakehell @Skills

 

[OldGuy]

I understood your question, but I never had AA for hot women. Their looks only caused me to doubt their interest in a relationship, and need to look for less attractive women for those. (Inaccurately)