Baseline of Glory

[YS.]

What's up with life...

I really coasted off Tinder in the past 4 years. I have hosted influencer events and really gotten around insanely hot girls that's clickey/in the scene and broke that mental barrier in my head. Dating them sucked though. Honestly give me a fucking normal 7-8 any day over an insane 9. Especially as I'm putting every ounce of energy into business and building a life for myself.

Tinder made me really complacent. I found girls who would tolerate my bullshit and usually won't force me to be my best self. I also matched with girls that are a dime in a dozen. I was fairly comfortable and non-reactive with them, not due to exposure or skill but just what the dynamic is. With pure cold approach and social circle I've hooked up with much much much hotter girls than apps. Could be the apps, could be me being happy with the apps.

I've always ran Adam Lyons style qualification game and Tinder is perfect for that. Just questions, small teases, investment loops, rewards, relating, repeat, etc.

The dates were super boring as well. But I pulled fairly consistently. Sex was pretty good. Honestly I mostly did this for validation and to have someone with me as I was focusing on business insanely hard. At some points I crashed emotionally and got into a game-gf loop. Usually the first month of it was always miserable, full of dumb validation seeking behavior from the most bullshit girls.

For the last 2 years and a half I've been in mostly monk mode with a LTR. 4x'd my business. Learnt so much. Failed so much. Made enough money to make a big move to a European country again. Very stressed & excited about it. Don't want this to involve personal stuff but has been a big dream/goal of mine.

Had a long term girl-friend through monk-mode, I cheated on her, it continued for 6-7 more months after that but was never the same. We broke up and then I had a few random things here and there but mostly I've been single. It was great. But I feel like the candle is burning out. Also as I was purely focused on business, I pulled a really cute girl randomly off a social circle party (still got it lol) 2 weeks ago, after a week it fucked up due to my frame being weak. UGH. Fucking hell, why does this shit happen every time you get back into it. Then my whole RAS turned to game/girls again. Also I met a really cool guy who I can learn a lot from but he's a pussy fiend. After 2 rather docile "winning" years by getting easily wins, feeling rather out of it.

I've also moved to a small town of 50k population (for business monk mode) , which is not helping the matter at all. I will be moving in late Spring, so don't want to move in between.

Maybe I'll expand on this later. The forums have always been a good refuge to recenter. Still haven't decided if I want to go all into going out or not, as I'm working 10-14 hours every day on business on a very small conservative town that I don't fit in at all culturally.

 

[Skills]

What's up with life...

I really coasted off Tinder in the past 4 years. I have hosted influencer events and really gotten around insanely hot girls that's clickey/in the scene and broke that mental barrier in my head. Dating them sucked though. Honestly give me a fucking normal 7-8 any day over an insane 9. Especially as I'm putting every ounce of energy into business and building a life for myself.

Tinder made me really complacent. I found girls who would tolerate my bullshit and usually won't force me to be my best self. I also matched with girls that are a dime in a dozen. I was fairly comfortable and non-reactive with them, not due to exposure or skill but just what the dynamic is. With pure cold approach and social circle I've hooked up with much much much hotter girls than apps. Could be the apps, could be me being happy with the apps.

I've always ran Adam Lyons style qualification game and Tinder is perfect for that. Just questions, small teases, investment loops, rewards, relating, repeat, etc.

The dates were super boring as well. But I pulled fairly consistently. Sex was pretty good. Honestly I mostly did this for validation and to have someone with me as I was focusing on business insanely hard. At some points I crashed emotionally and got into a game-gf loop. Usually the first month of it was always miserable, full of dumb validation seeking behavior from the most bullshit girls.

For the last 2 years and a half I've been in mostly monk mode with a LTR. 4x'd my business. Learnt so much. Failed so much. Made enough money to make a big move to a European country again. Very stressed & excited about it. Don't want this to involve personal stuff but has been a big dream/goal of mine.

Had a long term girl-friend through monk-mode, I cheated on her, it continued for 6-7 more months after that but was never the same. We broke up and then I had a few random things here and there but mostly I've been single. It was great. But I feel like the candle is burning out. Also as I was purely focused on business, I pulled a really cute girl randomly off a social circle party (still got it lol) 2 weeks ago, after a week it fucked up due to my frame being weak. UGH. Fucking hell, why does this shit happen every time you get back into it. Then my whole RAS turned to game/girls again. Also I met a really cool guy who I can learn a lot from but he's a pussy fiend. After 2 rather docile "winning" years by getting easily wins, feeling rather out of it.

I've also moved to a small town of 50k population (for monk mode) , which is not helping the matter at all. I will be moving in late Spring, so don't want to move in between.

Maybe I'll expand on this later. The forums have always been a good refuge to recenter. Still haven't decided if I want to go all into going out or not, as I'm working 10-14 hours every day on business on a very small conservative town that I don't fit in at all culturally.

Welcome back... A lot of guys taking breaks to focus on biz... Specially in this economy, i always wondered what happened to you... Nitpick, you are using the wrong terminology monk mode means celibate by choice, usually done by seducer post break up...

 

[YS.]

Welcome back... A lot of guys taking breaks to focus on biz... Specially in this economy, i always wondered what happened to you... Nitpick, you are using the wrong terminology monk mode means celibate by choice, usually done by seducer post break up...

I'm using it in the way Iman Gadzhi uses it. Basically just ceasing every activity other than business, not in PU jargon.

Good to see you man. Happy to see you're still active.

 

[YS.]

LOL. Pulled. THAT was fast. So many lessons, mostly re-learned/remembered. Maybe will write a detailed FR later, because it was fairly eventful. I'm still not sure how much detail I want to give on forums due to the nature of the modern internet.

Main takeaways to expand on for purely my understanding:
- My natural wing has incredible skill and instincts. I owe him this truly. He set up, led the logistics and handled the fat girl. Was masterful.
- 98% of girls are easy. Right time, right place, right vibes. So goddamn fucking true.
- Words are meaningless. Everything resets tomorrow. Everything resets every day.
- Pulling away and living your life works.
- Oneitis is an illusion. No girl has more to give to your life than you already have. This one was really hot and it's been a while, became a big deal. After it happened, same lesson, different time. I really wasn't that into it to be honest and her personality is not the best.
- Always assume yourself. You're the shit. FFF. It will happen. It has. With almost nothing beforehand.
- Do NOT overinvest. Put girls in the right categories and know what something is. Don't project a situation what you wish it to be, but see it for what it is. Having the correct frame of who they are and what this is really helps with everything.
- How fucking important setting up logistics and leading the logistics is. Holy fucking shit.
- Whiskey dick is real. Have viagra around at all times. Took me a while to get it going.
- Distance is good. Breaking rapport is good. Being OK with distance is good. Getting them to open up is AMAZING.
- Just casual, chill, no biggie.

My logistical leading is weak. Creating favorable logistics is weak. Pre-framing for logistics/obstacles is weak. Distance and understanding what this is, is not ideal atm. Letting her come. Letting her invest. Sometimes I'm too much gas. Gotta not seek rapport, or try for rapport. But break it. Be happy with the tension and offending her, not going well. Soft-ass newbie shit. Not comfortable with tension. Pushing her away. Feeling a little soft inside. My intent is strong, escalation is great, freedom from outcome is generally lacking but was very good all week. Honestly I was pretty good, all things considered. Getting that back. Not centered yet. Ebbs and flows, haven't slept at all which makes me worse. More needy and reactive.

 

[YS.]

Momentum is real. Every day feels easier but I have too much work so can't really stack momentum to the point that I want to. Still haven't fully gotten my confidence back. I don't know how important that is since my autopilot seems to be strong but all my weak points are coming up and leaking. I have a natural wing and I have absolutely no idea how to go out with him, I like the classic retarded PUA wings where we each go to sets together and hype each other up, knowing what's up. He's super cool but doesn't really approach, does the whole forced IOI game. Very successfully I might add. I have so many insights I need to flesh out. I also need to learn cool location/dance floor/small town game that doesn't rely on freedom from outcome and burning sets/venues. My game still relies on the anonymity of day game, the volume big cities provide and YES/NO reactions. Instead of testing waters in a cool way.

 

[YS.]

Life update.

Been reading Karea's journals and finding it very relatable. Getting back into game is fucking tough. Especially if you're good enough to pull the limited opportunities you generate with your fucked up inner game.

I feel like sucking when starting out is a blessing to force you to stick through with the misery periods because you can't pull LOL. It's easy to get lost between a girl legs while your habits/mentalities/inner game isn't really solid yet.

Went to Thailand for 2-3 months. 300+ matches in 2 weeks LOL. Went out almost every day other than a few weeks of sales calls where I had 10 calls a day deep into the night. Many days I had 2-3 dates scheduled. Got quite a few lays. 6 active plates. Feeling super depressed about it. It was a combination of easy+not hot enough+not validating+be being in a really validation seeking mindset. Went after a lot of easy pickings. Never got that raw attraction outside of 2 sixes. Never really connected with any girl. Mostly settling+autopilot type of pulls. This is why I'm so against the fucking lay count retards, or learning game in very social/promiscuous environments like Thailand/Vegas. That shit ain't real bro. I consider my game to be utter thrash at the moment but I can get laid consistently and can easily run up the numbers, especially with how dialed in my online profile is and built in value from a place like SEA.

I had a butter-face with a killer body I really connected with but I have such high expectations of myself which is so fucking stupid. When I was a newbie in 15' I would be so happy with that. I feel like shit like that kills so much momentum. It's good to be a wide eyed hopeful newbie rather than a grizzled experienced guy sometimes. I have 2 super cute 7's sending pics to me on IG almost daily and have a FB out of state I can see any time but I'm super fucking negative. I take it for granted due to my past results. Need to have more fucking gratitude. I ain't shit is always the best paradigm to come from with things like this.

Went back to ME after that, had a complete and total state crash. The girl I was seeing here moved on with a guy I know very well and close to. Almost nobody is where I left them to be and I was totally calibrated to Thailand/expat community/speaking English. I really did not miss how not fun this place is, how closed off everything is, just a completely different vibe. I was super calibrated to it and enjoying it but holy shit, it requires a completely different persona. I feel like I'm in such a unique situation, where I am from ME so I can't really get away with being very "different"/Western but I'm so Western to the point that I can't really get away with being local. I am still in touch with a half Swiss half Thai girl from Thailand who grew up in Switzerland but moved to Thailand fairly late in her teens, and she feels the same. Connected hard over that.

I kinda self isolated after coming here after going to a few social circle events and seeing things were a lot different than I've left them. Different social connections, different vibe, my favorite girl left the town, my FB/situationship moved on, my best friend/wing is doing a lot of stuff without me and the quality of people/vibe is a whole lot different than where I was. I'm sure I could just show up, build it back up and it's not fair to them. Because I'm super different as well. But losing that much frame and status kinda fucked with my head a little bit. I'm definitely making it a bigger deal in my head than it is, I'm sure as well.

Anyway... I have started doing direct day-game solo on another town (my town has like 50k people, this other town is like 200-300k) and I wanted to get the suck out. I think these are my first street stop direct day game solo sets since 17'. They went about as well as you'd think. Massive AA. I record my sets, listening to them is hilarious lol. I'm afraid to get the words out. I could hook indirect fairly easily but have entitlement/intent/sexual permission issues in the ME that flared up again. Don't feel that at all in overseas. Usually my game always goes to shit after I have a long period of traveling and getting back. The vibe is so different that it builds bad habits.

I was reluctant to write negative/depressing journal entries here but Karea really motivated me to do so. It will be an open book.

I've been getting into an approach habit that has been working decently well.

Some observations:
- Doing PU from a loner paradigm always sucks. It just fucking does. But PU itself also sucks so much especially in the beginning/solo DG/in weird conservative places that loner paradigm actually gives you the edge to go through the suck. I almost always end up pulling from social circle/online to a girl I'm not that into consistently that stops me from going through the suck consistently.
- State will give you the cues on what you want/need. State is basically your brain believing the environment is safe/you have value in the environment. If you hide in day-game or go after no social pressure sets it doesn't really happen. But I socially opened a 5 at Starbucks with maybe 8-10 people hearing and got into massive state. I opened a 3 set functional when many people would hear and got into state. But opening a solo girl by herself and nobody would hear and getting rejected doesn't really work.
- I feel like learning game can self generate a lot of problems where being normal doesn't. It makes you a lot more of a loser than you actually are, I really feel this creates really weird entitlement issues in otherwise cool people and makes newbies get into super fucked up downwards loops.
- It is shocking just how much of the stuff I've internalized doesn't come out. My post-hook to pull is still solid but holy shit man. Open to hook is horrendous.
- I used to do London daygame style openers where I run after the girls or jump in; I actually think this is bad game but it used to do something interesting, it would kinda get you hyped up/in the moment and high energy. I try to open more chill/calibrated now but it lacks the state reset/energy amplification running gives you.

Some things to work on:
- Continue the 7 day approach habit with 2-3 immersion days.
- Work on state control at solo DG. / Plus find a target rich environment, a cool backstory/pull excuse and time logistics. Waste so much time on the places I go to looking for sets.
- Implement a screening direct and an assuming/social direct consistently.
- Get really tight on indirect material.
- Andrew Tate style IG DM lead generation.
- A different style of IG posts. (More lifestyle, less status.)
- IG reels & lifestyle videos.

I've been doing this on indirect recently.

Pre-opener / SOE (Excuse me... I don't want to interrupt)
Expended Functional (Hey do you know a good coffee shop where I can get some work in?) - Can ramble off this a bit. Not like her answer. Talk about my work. Etc.
Qualifying Statement (Preloading) + Breaking Rapport (Btw, you have a really warm energy -sounds better in the native language- but I'm not sure about you)
Transition (Are you from here?) - Ramble off the answers. If yes, talk about the city/commonalities there. If no, ME TOO. Tell your story a bit you just traveling?

Follows Adam Lyons' framework. Want to nail this down. Sometimes I open situational like Excuse me... I don't wanna interrupts but I'm just curious what are you reading/working on. / etc. Then qualify/BR and transition. I'm so ridiculously out of state that maybe I can actually run more MM style hook/attraction/DHV material.

At some point I try to say another SOE, I really hope I'm not interrupting to give her a way out or be committed to the conversation after I sense she kind of hooked. (4wn Alex does this. Also similar to Todd's FRED formula -decision-.)

And this is the screening direct framework I've been trying to implement:

Pre-opener + SOE (Excuse me... I don't want to interrupt)
Style compliment (I just love your style.)
Hi + Screening statement (Just wanted to come and say hi thinking maybe you're really interesting/cool. OR you might be cool/interesting)
I'm YS. What's your name + Hand out OR What are you doing right now...

Resulted in blowouts almost 100% of the time LOL. My vibe isn't there to pull this off but I'm doing it along with indirect sets to burn off my ego, get the entitlement back. If you actually reframe the sets (classic Julian/RSD Tyler data point), it actually gives you entitlement/freedom. I feel like you absolutely cannot half ass this whatsoever. You need to just own it and just continue talking. I'm kinda waiting for permission after saying this, or waiting for the girl to blow me out so I get my numbers in for the day.

 

[swontario]

Been reading Karea's journals

Are they locked to newer members? The Re-education of Lauren Hill is gone @Karea Ricardus D.

 

[YS.]

Are they locked to newer members? The Re-education of Lauren Hill is gone @Karea Ricardus D.

My outsider conjectural understanding is at some point some idiots talked shit about him which most likely made him make his journals not public. It worked though because all the responses are full of love and people trying to help. It's basically an OG relearning game from zero from a 10+ year hiatus, using a sexualized version of the Mystery Method.

Something similar to me also which is why I'm reluctant to share certain things here, when you try to help or share from a position of honest vulnerability you often get more grief than gratitude.

 

[YS.]

Musings on Approach Anxiety for Beginners

• Volume kills AA. Make sure you can do volume work. I've always always always sucked at this historically.
  • Rsd Ozzie used to have a concept called fear technology, I'm not an expert in it but the idea is you always go up to the most ridiculously anxiety ridden situations and just open socially and try to generate good experiences. (1 super hottie, 3 super jacked guys. You go and ask where the toilet is?) Basically what this does is generate reality experiences so the situation stops being this ominous scary unknown but just some people you know. I've kinda done that with some mixed sets and some very street guys hanging out near the girls. Almost always it worked to reduce anxiety and gain familiarity of the environment. I also have like I got those people as my friends/they got my back even if it isn't true lol. Your brain believes what it believes, it's usually never true but it's good to use it in your favor.
  • I'll probably do a 20-50 open drill next week. Watched a Justin Marc video where in bootcamp he forces people to open 100 girls in a day (without him) or he doesn't coach them. After that day almost everyone pulls LOL. Adam Lyons/Luke has a 50 open drill where you just open and keep walking 50 times and then re-approach if you like a person. Also this puts AA in a different paradigm, assuming the number and what you count as an open is achievable.
• With exposure and volume flinch/desire/boredom works in your favor. After talking to so many cute girls and not pushing it forward you have this burning intent/fury in you that pushes you to push things. Fury is a nice concept I learned from Rsd Tim. You just get frustrated with yourself in a nice and empowering way.
• General knowledge cures general anxiety. Basically exposure therapy. You'll get less anxious of things that are known to you.
• Making allies in the environment and making unknown known is a really good hack. I always try to open people working there and give them value/joke around/build a commonality/break rapport chit chat.
• Not thinking / being present works well.
• Cartman voice / bullying yourself works really well.
• Approaching is physical and the moment I said hello I won are 2 incredible frames. Although the second one doesn't work as well if you're doing specific challenges. I talked to a friend who's been in the game for 10 years about it and this is how he broke it down:
  • Every approach is always 1k/10 and funny. Always, deep down, before everything HELLO is the win. But in a macro sense you have goals. So both are true. You give yourself props for the hello and try to finish the challenge with another set. Not get frustrated for the set for the challenge.
  • Having an indirect stack where you're almost sure you'll get a laugh and have a non-direct endgame option works fairly well in combating AA than hey I like you openers. There are many reasons for that but direct openers massively trigger status anxiety, primal survival fears, you know you'll almost always have social friction, etc. I still feel they're good for practice/reps though.
• You have to keep momentum, get your reps in and punch through the wall and don't stop once you do, no other way around really.
• There are a few inner game shifts with volume; Indifference Threshold, Congruent Intent=Entitlement and Stacking Positive Interactions OR References.
  • Indifference Threshold: You gain enough exposure/experience/pain/rejections that you stop caring. Usually you'll start hooking consistently after this.
  • Congruent Intent=Entitlement = This is pure magic. If you can show congruent intent, no matter how the set goes, you'll feel more entitled. Because you haven't died, your brain will start to process this as oh we can go up to these girls or thing/can act like we deserve them. This also works on IG DM's. Try DM'ing a hottie a very high value screening opener like "I like how you dress" You'll instantly feel more entitled. TEST IT. Make sure to not over validate but pick/choose. That's why I prefer to have screening direct openers in day-game because the fact that the screening words are coming out of mouth gives me more entitlement with the girl no matter how bad the blowout is.
  • Stacking Positive Interactions OR References = So this is why Fear Technology works, why social proofing venues are super good (beyond many things) and why reframing works. Adam Lyons has a 5 walking compliment warm up where he doesn't even look at the reaction. Sinn does 3 long nice social conversations or 5-10 walking by compliments before his sets. I've always liked RSD Tyler/Julian's way of forcing state. Where every interaction no matter how it went would build your state. Julian's was "I'm the shit", "She couldn't handle my awesomeness." "I was too cool for her." etc. Tyler's is of course you just find something funny about the set and think it went awesome 1k/10 no matter what. Who the fuck would have the balls to do that? Both of these actually work LOL.
    • I also feel social frame/being social everywhere and just talking to everyone who's not a cute girls also massive helps with state/AA but that feels more like a bandaid for a loner lifestyle than a universal solution. Although a counter argument is when I'm more social, I'm also social to everyone. So could be a chicken-egg situation.
• Breaking through Status Anxiety = State.
  • If you experience what you fear and don't do it will result in confidence and state. Not dying scary social exposure = state. You can build up. Social acceptance = state. Social freedom = state. Feeling safe in an environment = state. Having fun and unstifled without social repercussions = state.
    • I feel that's why it's easier to get in state in places you have been many times and have talked to many people before. I can write a longer write up about this but I could get myself in state many times in solo day-game. I have long time between sets so it kind of disappears but I could trigger it fairly consistently so far. Sinn has a state equation 20 mins of movement + talking = state. Which I feel is a good way to think about it. He tries to get 3 5 minute super chill conversations in the venue and then does his approaches.
• You'll get to a macro breaking point and every day there is a micro breaking point. But until then, it will reset when you sleep. You'll have to work through your process.
• Having some prepared stuff to go through where a highly likely that the girl would like or would like to engage beyond her attraction for you and something to invite her that's not a sexual/romantic date that she would be interested in with or without you are super helpful. By the way these are really the cornerstones of 9-10 social circle game most people play but I'm just talking about its impact on beginner AA. I remember I used to have crippling AA in 15' but I got a surveying job, I would run after and cold approach hotties all day with zero anxiety because I was doing a survey. This is a bandaid solution but if you know a cool concert to invite her to or a cool party or an event or any value you can offer it usually lowers AA.
• Cold showers and meditation helps. Giving yourself a lot of time and no way out helps.

Will probably have more musics as I walk through this. At the end of the day you just need to push through the suck until it doesn't suck or you're used to the suck or you actually start to enjoy the suck.

I distinctly remember doing a 21 day direct day game challenge where I would open 10 direct streets sets every day in 16'. After the challange I would have almost no AA. I distinctly remember going to vacation with a very old friend of mine who's an AFC. Not approaching was more difficult than approaching. I would always see opportunities/reasons to approach. Your brain shifts at some point saying I can't actually stop this MF from doing this so let me start helping him. But until then... Godspeed.