- Joined
- Oct 9, 2012
- Messages
- 6,057
@Terms,
I think it'd be worth seeing if any guys on here can weigh in with big-dildo-diddling their long-term committed chicks.
But there is a general human curiosity-exploration pattern:
That may trigger broader exploration of the new.
There's no guarantee #s 2 and 3 are in play in any given guy's relationship.
She might try a giant dildo, not really enjoy it that much, and then it's off collecting dust in the closet before you know it, having triggered zero curiosity in her in big dick hunting.
She might try a giant dildo, like it a lot, but overall is very satisfied with her man himself, so doesn't have any real desire to seek out more giant cock experiences.
The only time I think I'd be worried is if a woman was trying to diddle herself with a giant fake cock and I knew I wasn't getting the job done with her and/or she was pulling away. If that was the scenario, I'd have some concerns. But any new thing is going to be a concern at that point... because you know she's auditioning replacements for you.
Chase
I think it'd be worth seeing if any guys on here can weigh in with big-dildo-diddling their long-term committed chicks.
But there is a general human curiosity-exploration pattern:
- If someone tries something new, AND
- Really, really likes it, WHILE ALSO
- Not being fully satisfied with the old
That may trigger broader exploration of the new.
There's no guarantee #s 2 and 3 are in play in any given guy's relationship.
She might try a giant dildo, not really enjoy it that much, and then it's off collecting dust in the closet before you know it, having triggered zero curiosity in her in big dick hunting.
She might try a giant dildo, like it a lot, but overall is very satisfied with her man himself, so doesn't have any real desire to seek out more giant cock experiences.
The only time I think I'd be worried is if a woman was trying to diddle herself with a giant fake cock and I knew I wasn't getting the job done with her and/or she was pulling away. If that was the scenario, I'd have some concerns. But any new thing is going to be a concern at that point... because you know she's auditioning replacements for you.
Chase
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2021
- Messages
- 1,984
I think a lot of comments here are focusing on dick vs dildo competition. It's not about that, it's about whether the dildo is a signal that something isn't quite right. We are after all talking about a years long married relationship, not someone just met at the bar. Presumably @Lord Byron knows his wife fairly well at this point and perhaps senses something amiss.
It's completely different introducing a dildo into a FWB or ONS (or even a short term relationship) compared to a years long LTR. If you just met her and she wants to use one, it's just her thing, no problem. But a sudden interest in sexual stuff for no apparent reason (mind you, stuff unrelated to his cock) IS a warning sign. It's not definitive, but it is a beep on the radar. It's something to reflect on a little bit and have a good look over things. If she's still very much into you, it's probably fine, but if she's getting distant, it's not. Everything in context.
For me personally, I can't ever imagine wanting a sex doll while I'm with a woman I desire, so it doesn't make any sense for me if she wants to fuck herself with a fake cock when she has mine. Is that normal these days? Whatever. It's not for me.
It's completely different introducing a dildo into a FWB or ONS (or even a short term relationship) compared to a years long LTR. If you just met her and she wants to use one, it's just her thing, no problem. But a sudden interest in sexual stuff for no apparent reason (mind you, stuff unrelated to his cock) IS a warning sign. It's not definitive, but it is a beep on the radar. It's something to reflect on a little bit and have a good look over things. If she's still very much into you, it's probably fine, but if she's getting distant, it's not. Everything in context.
For me personally, I can't ever imagine wanting a sex doll while I'm with a woman I desire, so it doesn't make any sense for me if she wants to fuck herself with a fake cock when she has mine. Is that normal these days? Whatever. It's not for me.
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2018
- Messages
- 65
Exactly what I thought, and what I wrote in my previous comment, but better expressed by Will_V ... Why is the sex better than ever? For most people, it goes the other way. What was the trigger for OP's wife to use a dildo all of the sudden? Worth reflection (and investigation).
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- Oct 9, 2012
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- 6,057
Agreed with @Will_V & @reeax, that sudden, seemingly unprompted interest in expanding things sexually can be a sign of something.
However, I will add that it isn't always dissatisfaction that triggers curiosity like this.
Women sexually open up more as they age and become more comfortable with their sexualities. They also generally talk with other women going through this same process at the same time, some of whom are the 'advisor types' who always have suggestions for what everyone needs to try ("OMG, have you ever tried a 12 INCH DILDO? You will never walk the same again...!!!").
So:
If it's the former, you've got a lot of work to do figuring out where the problems are and remedying them.
If it's the latter though, then it's just down to what your own preferences are and whether it's something you're going to like adding or it isn't something you care to do.
You probably have some sense as to whether it is dissatisfaction or just natural age/comfort-generated curiosity.
If you're not sure, just ask her what's motivating this and see whether she acts fake or defensive (hiding something) or laughs about it and gives you a comfortable, honest, or even bashful answer (telling the truth).
Chase
However, I will add that it isn't always dissatisfaction that triggers curiosity like this.
Women sexually open up more as they age and become more comfortable with their sexualities. They also generally talk with other women going through this same process at the same time, some of whom are the 'advisor types' who always have suggestions for what everyone needs to try ("OMG, have you ever tried a 12 INCH DILDO? You will never walk the same again...!!!").
So:
- Sometimes it is going to be, "She's pulling away and this is one of the early steps in that, just testing the waters."
- Other times though it is simply going to be, "She's older, more comfortable with her guy, more comfortable with sex, she's reached an age where she's become a lot more sexual, and she's wondering a little bit about what it is safe for her to experiment within the confines of the relationship. Also that one crazy friend of hers has been talking a lot about X lately / that show she's sucked into watching really has her curious to try Y."
If it's the former, you've got a lot of work to do figuring out where the problems are and remedying them.
If it's the latter though, then it's just down to what your own preferences are and whether it's something you're going to like adding or it isn't something you care to do.
You probably have some sense as to whether it is dissatisfaction or just natural age/comfort-generated curiosity.
If you're not sure, just ask her what's motivating this and see whether she acts fake or defensive (hiding something) or laughs about it and gives you a comfortable, honest, or even bashful answer (telling the truth).
Chase
Yes same. Its the "long term wife" part and the "sex life better than ever" part that makes this a bit more complicated than just about using a dildo. Could be something, could be nothing. The OP is right in that neither of the two common extremes he presented really nail it.
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- Nov 11, 2019
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- 4,841
i forgot it could also be she had a big dildo in the past, and now she wants to try it again...
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- Mar 9, 2020
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- 638
I have used a hairbrush in my ex Bhole (she asked me for it), but we used to do anal ocasionally and I would many times insert my finger in her anus to make her cum harder/faster. She was very much into anal, anyway, so using some object there wasn't exactly unusual. I think in this case it was more like she felt like I was the type of guy that wouldn't judge her for putting something on her butt, specially something that isn't even a toy designed for that, so that taboo feel was there and making things hotter for her, for sure. That might be something to consider.
My current girl doesn't cum for the life out of me, but she's not into penetration, so I've tried vibrators with her before, but it was mostly just for her clit. If your girl is really into penetration, you should probably focus on "making your cock do the job". There's many other things you can improve in sex that can make her cum harder or faster, from rhythm to positions that favor her stimuli and the way you dominate her during the act, and bond with her, the psychological part, is a big thing as well.
I would say don't be insecure to try toys, but try improving your penetrative sex as well, you want her to cum hard for your cock.
My current girl doesn't cum for the life out of me, but she's not into penetration, so I've tried vibrators with her before, but it was mostly just for her clit. If your girl is really into penetration, you should probably focus on "making your cock do the job". There's many other things you can improve in sex that can make her cum harder or faster, from rhythm to positions that favor her stimuli and the way you dominate her during the act, and bond with her, the psychological part, is a big thing as well.
I would say don't be insecure to try toys, but try improving your penetrative sex as well, you want her to cum hard for your cock.
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- Joined
- May 27, 2018
- Messages
- 252
Chicks have explained it to me that real dicks twitch and move, it's like electricity sort of. Dildo doesn't compare. Makes total sense cause I got one of them realistic rubber vagina things once and fucked it and it was less pleasure than jacking off. Men and women together make a whole other feel than a hole or a shaft. They close back up and retighten anyway, they can still cum after having babies man, perish the thought.
Funny story, I got the fake vagina in an offer with some porn vids, tried it out and it was boring so I didn't want it in my house, or even stashed, and was living with some people so didn't want it in trash can. I mean this thing was LARGE realistic vagina. So I cut it up with a Kabar knife and put it in a brown bag, and dropped it in a car wash garbage can. Anyway an old crime partner of mines friend happens to be standing there watching all this from porch of a house as I drive away. I pray to God he thought I was dumping a piece (no puns now come on too easy), or some drugs or something and went over and checked it out looool. Cut up pocket vagina, he was probably wondering rest of life what the hell I was involved in.
Gun
Funny story, I got the fake vagina in an offer with some porn vids, tried it out and it was boring so I didn't want it in my house, or even stashed, and was living with some people so didn't want it in trash can. I mean this thing was LARGE realistic vagina. So I cut it up with a Kabar knife and put it in a brown bag, and dropped it in a car wash garbage can. Anyway an old crime partner of mines friend happens to be standing there watching all this from porch of a house as I drive away. I pray to God he thought I was dumping a piece (no puns now come on too easy), or some drugs or something and went over and checked it out looool. Cut up pocket vagina, he was probably wondering rest of life what the hell I was involved in.
Gun