Blocked

[loolapaluza]

Sup, guys i have i problem
From time to time i pickup chicks in bars\clubs.
Last two girls was really into me(touching,asking questions,investing in other words.)I tried to escalate-unsuccesfull (just lack of skill imho+bad logistics). So i go for contacts.

I tried to keep texting at minimum,and tried to apply methods from Chase article

How to Text a Girl in 2022

This guide will show you exactly how to text a girl. Including: Texting a girl examples Copy-paste texting templates Emerging texting trends Must-read resources Lots more If you want to go from novice to 'textpert', this guide is for you. Let's begin. About the Author Chase Amante here. I'm an...

www.girlschase.com

So girl number uno just ghosted me, she didnt return none of my messages.
With girl #2 i tried to escalate once more next day,failed. And she went on vacation in other city,so i tried to keep in touch once a week.Her messages was short and dry.Today she blocked me.
So i need your thoughts\opinions(maybe articles) on the situation. Am i lacking something? Maybe poor texting,maybe something with my wibe or else.
Generally i have good reactions from girls when i talk to them, so i should get some success from time to time. But all i have is failure.

 

[Will_V]

Sup, guys i have i problem
From time to time i pickup chicks in bars\clubs.
Last two girls was really into me(touching,asking questions,investing in other words.)I tried to escalate-unsuccesfull (just lack of skill imho+bad logistics). So i go for contacts.

A failed escalation usually doesn't bode well for getting her number and trying to get a date.

I find the most effective ways to not get ghosted (all else being equal) are:
- Seed the date and have her agree to at least a rough idea of what the date will be before going for the number.
- At the end of the approach remind her of the unique reason you like her (not that she's hot).

The end of the approach is crucial, because it's where you close the first deal. Up until that point she hasn't had to give you anything, now she does. The way she feels when you ask for her number and she thinks "hmm should I?" is the way she will remember you when you text her.

If you try to escalate/pull and it fails, and you end up having to go for the number, you have to spend a little time resetting and bringing the frame slightly back from sexual intent to rapport/vibe building. The last thing you want is to give her the sense that you're grabbing the number as a way to save something of value as you run out of the burning house.

I tried to keep texting at minimum,and tried to apply methods from Chase article

How to Text a Girl in 2022

This guide will show you exactly how to text a girl. Including: Texting a girl examples Copy-paste texting templates Emerging texting trends Must-read resources Lots more If you want to go from novice to 'textpert', this guide is for you. Let's begin. About the Author Chase Amante here. I'm an...

www.girlschase.com

So girl number uno just ghosted me, she didnt return none of my messages.
With girl #2 i tried to escalate once more next day,failed. And she went on vacation in other city,so i tried to keep in touch once a week.Her messages was short and dry.Today she blocked me.
So i need your thoughts\opinions(maybe articles) on the situation. Am i lacking something? Maybe poor texting,maybe something with my wibe or else.
Generally i have good reactions from girls when i talk to them, so i should get some success from time to time. But all i have is failure.

You'd have to write a field report and give more details to get anything more specific from me, but it seems likely to me that this has everything to do with what happened in person and having negative momentum at the end, rather than anything to do with texting.

 

[loolapaluza]

Ok here it is. Im not a native English speaker,so long text is really hard for me.
So i was in the bar,i get some drinks and chit-chated wth a bartender. I walked and looked around the bar a couple of times.
Theres was 2 girls in a bar counter,one is blonde with glasses the second one i dont remember).They talked to each other with closed body language.Some dude joined them amd they run off to the dance floor.I take my place at th bar.
After 10-15 min they have returned,the dude was talking with the girl and the blonde was apart and seamingly bored.
I walked around tha bar one more time then i seated next to the blonde. I dont want to open her emediatelly,so i look around few times and checked notifications on my phone. I waited when she realize my presence,then i opened her
-Hi,you look bored
-Hi,not at all,i was just in my thoughts (with good intonation,she was claerly happy that i opened her)
So we chit-chated for 5 minutes or so(about venue,when she comes,i asked few questions about her),surprisingly she asked many questions. For some reason she didnt answered about her job,but i still figured it out later.
Then she and her friends run off to the dance floor ance again.
I re-engage her later.
She started to talk about relationships,she is divorced (22 y.o lol). Asked me few questions(why im not married,about my exes)i gave her some basic answers and changed topic.
So she is local girl,next day leaves the town for a vacation.I assumed she is dtf(high interest,out of relationships and leaves the town soon)
So i asked about her plans for a night (checking her logistics)
-Planning to go home and sleep,what about you?
I said i want to finish my drink and change venues. I suggested her to join me(separate her from her friends) She refused.
So as i already wanted to leave i asked her for contacs:
-So it was really nice meet you,we should hang out sometime
She said she barely knows me,when i asked what she suggests,she said we can leave the venue and take a walk.
So we leave outside ,she godbyed with her friends,and we moved down the street to the riverside.
We joked around about our age gap,im 36 she is 22. She said "If you are a maniac please rape before killing,not other way around,at least i have a pleasure before i die." lol
She was all gigly and always bumping in me

- At the end of the approach remind her of the unique reason you like her (not that she's hot)

I said something like this: You know your cool,its rare to find someone to get along with so quickly.
We arrived at the riverside,sit on the bench,i hugged her by the shoulder. We been there for about 20 minutes,it was cold so i suggest to go to my place for drinks and talking (2 times)she declined.So we talked a little bit,exchange numbers,grabbed taxis and went home.
So i realize i dont have so much experience in this situations,but i dont see big mistakes.Any thoughts?
Opening girls its not a big issue for me, but for some reason i have a problem taking their contacts and taking girls on a date.
Should i post chat with this girl?

 

[loolapaluza]

Bump?

 

[Water]

Sup, guys i have i problem
From time to time i pickup chicks in bars\clubs.
Last two girls was really into me(touching,asking questions,investing in other words.)I tried to escalate-unsuccesfull (just lack of skill imho+bad logistics). So i go for contacts.

I tried to keep texting at minimum,and tried to apply methods from Chase article

How to Text a Girl in 2022

This guide will show you exactly how to text a girl. Including: Texting a girl examples Copy-paste texting templates Emerging texting trends Must-read resources Lots more If you want to go from novice to 'textpert', this guide is for you. Let's begin. About the Author Chase Amante here. I'm an...

www.girlschase.com

So girl number uno just ghosted me, she didnt return none of my messages.
With girl #2 i tried to escalate once more next day,failed. And she went on vacation in other city,so i tried to keep in touch once a week.Her messages was short and dry.Today she blocked me.
So i need your thoughts\opinions(maybe articles) on the situation. Am i lacking something? Maybe poor texting,maybe something with my wibe or else.
Generally i have good reactions from girls when i talk to them, so i should get some success from time to time. But all i have is failure.

How do you know you were blocked?

I’ve thought this before and found out later they didn’t block me.

I have actually tested this on multiple phones to know when I am blocked.

 

[loolapaluza]

I use telegram messanger.her status is Last seen a long time ago,that means she blocked you or was online more than month ago

 

[Water]

I use telegram messanger.her status is Last seen a long time ago,that means she blocked you or was online more than month ago

Why did you only get her contact from that app?

Also, can you post the chat between you guys including days and times?

 

[loolapaluza]

Why did you only get her contact from that app?

I have her phone number,but i think its not a good idea to disturb someone who blocked you.
Also i limited my presence in social media.

Also, can you post the chat between you guys including days and times?

Ok

 

[Water]

I have her phone number,but i think its not a good idea to disturb someone who blocked you.
Also i limited my presence in social media.


Ok

I guess Im curious why you were communicating in that app instead of her number if you had her number.

 

[DArtagnan]

"If you are a maniac please rape before killing,not other way around,at least i have a pleasure before i die."


This looks like a very strong test for me. She was setting a very strong sex and submissive frame. When did she say this? It could be that this is where the escalation was missed. What did you say to her after this? I'm curious.

I could be wrong though...

 

[loolapaluza]

I guess Im curious why you were communicating in that app instead of her number if you had her number.

Well because its simply more convinient for me.You just send the message and wait for responce,you can back to her when you hav a free time.
So anyway
I send her a message 40 minutes after we exchanged numbers
March 8, 5:07 am
-it was nice to meet you)
(My Name)
12:07 pm
-Nice to meet you too (My Name)-she answered after 7 hours,which is fine for me,bcz we part our ways at 4 a.m or so.
I assumed high interest and tried to pull her to my place one more time
12:40 pm
-Good)
I woke up a few minutes ago
Diana,do you have any plans today?
My evening is free today,we can drink some vine at my place,for example,if its convinient for you
12:54 pm
-I need to pack my bags this evening,im leaving tomorow
-And i dont drink vine
1:13 pm
-Do you leave next morning?
About vine is just an example,we can order pizza or smth
(So clearly she wasnt interested,so i didnt want to double text her,so i left the message as is in case she change her mind.She replied after 7 hours)
8:07 pm
-I leave the town at noon
8:37pm
-Ok.
So i guess you cant make it today,so maybe next time
Happy 8 march (its a holyday here)
9:31 pm
-Thank you very much
march 12 5:01pm
-Hello Diana
How is your vacation going?
Having fun?
5:52 Pm
-Hi
-Everything is great (she send me a picture of snowy mountains)
-How is your day going?
6:41pm
-Sleep until lunch,and do some errands(I was in vacation)
Btw where did you buy your bike (we talked about motorcycles earlier,she has one and i want to buy next year)
8:02pm
-I bought it in XYZ place
8:24pm
-I have a motorcycle showroom next corner from my apartments,i found out about it yesterday.
-Hey is it Altai mountains?(I replied to photo)
(She answered next day)
march 13 12:19 pm
-Yeah
-Don't they(motorcycles) bother you when you sleep?(Sweat emoji)
(I was busy whole day)
7:41 pm
-Nah its quiet here
(after 6 days)
19 march 10:35 am
-Hi Diana.
Today was my first day at work and it felt like I never had a vacation.
So what are you up to,how is your vacation?
(She left me on read for 24 hours,so i decided she completely lost interest. So i decide to take a last shot just in case)
march 20 10:21am
-Well seems like you have a lot of things going on
(surprisingly she answered)
1:42pm
-Hi
I`m just chillin,my phone is somewhere else all the time
2:19pm
Ok,i got it
Chill)
(I desided that i shouldnt bother her anymore and just try to pull her on a date when she comes back,in 1-2 weeks)
She blocked me 1 hour after my last message.
What do i think.
-My attempt to pull her to my place was clumsy and unconvinient to her.
-I shouldnt bother her when she was out of town.(I didnt want to be persieved as a coldfish,so i tried to reach out to her once a week)
-It seems that my texting was frustrating for her so she bailed out.
Also sorry for my English

 

[loolapaluza]

What did you say to her after this? I'm curious.

"It depends on how you behave"or something like that.With a grin.
I didnt want to go full caveman.

 

[Water]

"If you are a maniac please rape before killing,not other way around,at least i have a pleasure before i die."


This looks like a very strong test for me. She was setting a very strong sex and submissive frame. When did she say this? It could be that this is where the escalation was missed. What did you say to her after this? I'm curious.

I could be wrong though...

How did the topic of rape come up?

Also, I do not understand how the app is more convenient than texting normally.

 

[loolapaluza]

How did the topic of rape come up?

When we were sitting in the bar she suggested to take a walk,i agreed.She joked about how easily i agreed.
-You barelly know me,maybe im a psychomaniac who kill guys
I said something like i could be a maniac also. Then it just pop up

Also, I do not understand how the app is more convenient than texting normally.

What?
Telegram is just a messanger, like Whatsapp or Viber. Everyone use it here,so its more convinient.

 

[Water]

When we were sitting in the bar she suggested to take a walk,i agreed.She joked about how easily i agreed.
-You barelly know me,maybe im a psychomaniac who kill guys
I said something like i could be a maniac also. Then it just pop up

What?
Telegram is just a messanger, like Whatsapp or Viber. Everyone use it here,so its more convinient.

It must be a cultural thing, when I visited Europe everyone used apps. I don’t understand it because it’s easier to open text messages than an app imo but doesn’t matter.

Rape is a touchy subject to bring up during an approach.

You should have kept the frame as her being a rapist, instead of matching her statement, “how do you know I’m not a maniac?” You played into her frame for no reason.

Should’ve said, “Wow, you’re right, please don’t rape me, I have a rape whistle.”

Then you can continuously joke about that, when you walk near a dark alley, joke “You’re not getting me in there, nice try!“ When she clearly made no attempt to bring you closer to the alley.

Then misinterpret everything she says and does as an attempt to have sex with you, and you frame yourself as the unwilling victim of her raping you.

 

[Water]

It’s better to just change the subject altogether though, rape is really hard to properly use to your advantage, even if she finds it funny, she might have a friend who views rape jokes as super creepy and overhears you guys joking.

 

[Will_V]

Ok here it is. Im not a native English speaker,so long text is really hard for me.
So i was in the bar,i get some drinks and chit-chated wth a bartender. I walked and looked around the bar a couple of times.
Theres was 2 girls in a bar counter,one is blonde with glasses the second one i dont remember).They talked to each other with closed body language.Some dude joined them amd they run off to the dance floor.I take my place at th bar.
After 10-15 min they have returned,the dude was talking with the girl and the blonde was apart and seamingly bored.
I walked around tha bar one more time then i seated next to the blonde. I dont want to open her emediatelly,so i look around few times and checked notifications on my phone. I waited when she realize my presence,then i opened her
-Hi,you look bored
-Hi,not at all,i was just in my thoughts (with good intonation,she was claerly happy that i opened her)
So we chit-chated for 5 minutes or so(about venue,when she comes,i asked few questions about her),surprisingly she asked many questions. For some reason she didnt answered about her job,but i still figured it out later.
Then she and her friends run off to the dance floor ance again.
I re-engage her later.
She started to talk about relationships,she is divorced (22 y.o lol). Asked me few questions(why im not married,about my exes)i gave her some basic answers and changed topic.
So she is local girl,next day leaves the town for a vacation.I assumed she is dtf(high interest,out of relationships and leaves the town soon)
So i asked about her plans for a night (checking her logistics)
-Planning to go home and sleep,what about you?
I said i want to finish my drink and change venues. I suggested her to join me(separate her from her friends) She refused.
So as i already wanted to leave i asked her for contacs:
-So it was really nice meet you,we should hang out sometime
She said she barely knows me,when i asked what she suggests,she said we can leave the venue and take a walk.
So we leave outside ,she godbyed with her friends,and we moved down the street to the riverside.
We joked around about our age gap,im 36 she is 22. She said "If you are a maniac please rape before killing,not other way around,at least i have a pleasure before i die." lol
She was all gigly and always bumping in me

I said something like this: You know your cool,its rare to find someone to get along with so quickly.
We arrived at the riverside,sit on the bench,i hugged her by the shoulder. We been there for about 20 minutes,it was cold so i suggest to go to my place for drinks and talking (2 times)she declined.So we talked a little bit,exchange numbers,grabbed taxis and went home.
So i realize i dont have so much experience in this situations,but i dont see big mistakes.Any thoughts?
Opening girls its not a big issue for me, but for some reason i have a problem taking their contacts and taking girls on a date.
Should i post chat with this girl?

Sounds to me like you somehow didn't establish enough of a vibe.

Let's look at where things broke down:

1. When you try to change venues, she refuses.
2. When you go for contacts, she says she barely knows you (indicates she's not feeling comfortable with you yet).
3. She suggests going for a walk (a holding pattern, indicates she needs something more to become comfortable, but definitely a sign of being open to something).
4. She focuses on age gap (another red herring for lack of comfort/familiarity/arousal).
5. She makes a weird joke that indicates that she's thinking about sex but is very unsure about you.
6. You invite her home twice more, she refuses.

Could be a number of factors, but the overall result is that she didn't feel comfortable enough or aroused enough to go home with you.

You didn't mention what you talked about during the walk (except the age gap), that was your chance to build a fun, playful mood, deep dive her, share stories, introduce sexual frames, and generally raise her buying temperature.

 

[loolapaluza]

1. When you try to change venues, she refuses

Yeah,i realized it back then. I was thinking thats because she is with her friends and she afraids for her reputation.So i decided to not rush things and see what happens.

2. When you go for contacts, she says she barely knows you (indicates she's not feeling comfortable with you yet)

I agree,taking numbers in bar is not a big problem,if girl dont want to keep you around she just ghost. It was a liitle bit a surprise for me

She suggests going for a walk (a holding pattern, indicates she needs something more to become comfortable, but definitely a sign of being open to something).

Was thinking the same

4. She focuses on age gap

I dont think its a problem,we was joking around. I look young,and she was more liklely amazed(im 36 but she thought im 25-26).I thought she was 25-27(she was 22),she said it was a terrible compliment

You didn't mention what you talked about during the walk

At first some basic stuff,where we live,partiyng.Then she started to talk about her family(her brother is a hockey player,im an ex-hockey player),she asked about do i have a car,which i dont. Why i dont want to buy a car, I said i want a motorcycle,so we discused motorcycles(she has one).Discussed some travelling(she leaves town for a vacation),she start to talk about her previous relationships and relationships in general(i didnt want to go deep in that topic so it was basic her telling stories)Some stupid jokes

 

[Will_V]

I dont think its a problem,we was joking around. I look young,and she was more liklely amazed(im 36 but she thought im 25-26).I thought she was 25-27(she was 22),she said it was a terrible compliment

Guessing women's ages is asking for trouble. Avoid if at all possible, and if you have to, aim stupidly low.

In this case, the problem with your guess being too high (besides the obvious one) is that she could easily take the implication to be "oh I thought I was talking to someone older" and get concerned about whether you would have spent all that time with her if you knew she was younger, and whether you're only still around because you want to bang.

Remember you're dealing with her insecurities, not yours.

At first some basic stuff,where we live,partiyng.Then she started to talk about her family(her brother is a hockey player,im an ex-hockey player),she asked about do i have a car,which i dont. Why i dont want to buy a car, I said i want a motorcycle,so we discused motorcycles(she has one).Discussed some travelling(she leaves town for a vacation),she start to talk about her previous relationships and relationships in general(i didnt want to go deep in that topic so it was basic her telling stories)Some stupid jokes

OK I'd say this is the main issue right here. You did not lead the conversation and set the frame, but instead let her talk about go-nowhere topics without your input.

You already got several clear warnings that despite being open, she was not comfortable/aroused enough to go home with you. This tells you that you need to actively build that up. Before you get to use your actual tool, words and conversation are your tool, to put her at ease, to arouse her, to make her feel close to you and comfortable with you, and to make her want to stay in your presence.

That means you have to lead the conversation toward sex from the very beginning. For me, in very simple terms, this usually follows a path like the following (though in practice it's usually a lot of two steps forward and one back):

1. Basic get-to-know-you conversation: "what do you do for work" "what do you do for fun" etc
2. Dig deeper "what do you want to be?", "what have you always wanted to do?", "what kind of girl are you really?"
3. Talk about and share stories related adventure, freedom, spontaneity, inhibition vs authenticity etc
4. Introduce topic of sex, good vs bad sex, hottest sexual experiences, sexual fantasies, etc
5. Pull

<with physical escalation following a sort of exponential curve throughout>

And it's not about delivering ted talks on the subject, it's about expressing yourself all the time in a way that implies, directly or indirectly, these frames, so that she feels that side of her respond to you and take over.

Never let conversations go to waste - before she has sex with you, her experience of your conversation is her best indication of what it will be like.

 

[OldGuy]

Guessing a younger age is usually good, but one of the worst shutdown I have seen is when the guy asked "You are 18, right?", and she responded with the coldest possible tone "I am 21.". (Legal drinking age is US.)