try imagining the energy you would feel hugging someone and think of something funny so you enter with a genuine smile and eye contact. If you notice any sense of discomfort on her part quickly say a statement of empathy or false time constraint. And speak louder, slower, and with a down-tone.
What's your ratio?
I don’t really get “blow outs” at the moment of approach unless she is super busy. Usually they’ll talk to me for at least a few seconds even if rejecting me right away.
Well, if it's not even a 1 minute chat, in my eyes it's just a polite blowout.
Can you give an approximate ratio?
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Seconded for louder, slower and calm down-tone.
Ok thank you but can you let us know your ratio of approaches vs 1min+ conversations?
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i think you're thinking this from too much of a mathematical standpoint asking strangers on the internet for their approach to blow out ratio is borderline useless because it depends on a number of factors
Said person's smv
said person's smv relative to the men around him
said person's game
how long someone has been approaching for- if youre just starting out of course your blow out rate will be high as youre adjusting
so without knowing all those factors about the people commenting its pretty much useless- also anyone on the internet can fabricate unrealistic numbers that may make your own expectations too high.
focus on making your approaches strong rather than looking for statistics from strangers on the internet
Said person's smv
said person's smv relative to the men around him
said person's game
how long someone has been approaching for- if youre just starting out of course your blow out rate will be high as youre adjusting
so without knowing all those factors about the people commenting its pretty much useless- also anyone on the internet can fabricate unrealistic numbers that may make your own expectations too high.
focus on making your approaches strong rather than looking for statistics from strangers on the internet
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- Feb 14, 2025
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Blowouts depend on so many things, but usually it's because you're new/uncomfortable or uncalibrated. Over time, as you approach more, the blowouts should get less and less unless you remain uncalibrated. That's the easy answer. When you're new and nervous, the "blowout ratio" can be quite high, unless you're already confident and socially skilled/practiced.
Instead of trying to find a blowout ratio to compare yourself to others--which can be different one person to the next for a variety of reasons--best to look at where you are now and try to improve your approaches/social skills over time. If you are still getting majority blowouts after 50+ approaches or more, then consider getting a wing to look at what you're doing wrong would be my advice. Hard to diagnose without actually seeing it in person.
Simple/quick suggestions: go in with a good vibe; warm energy, a smile, positive, solid eye contact, and if it's a situation that might make her feel a lot of social pressure (like waiting for a bus, for example), call it out by saying something like, "..I see you're waiting for the bus, so I don't want to take too much of your time, but...", or if she's in a bookstore, "...I realize you're so focused looking for your next book, but I just had to say quickly...". Sometimes people get blowouts because they ignore these things and go in without addressing what she's doing or how she might feel
Instead of trying to find a blowout ratio to compare yourself to others--which can be different one person to the next for a variety of reasons--best to look at where you are now and try to improve your approaches/social skills over time. If you are still getting majority blowouts after 50+ approaches or more, then consider getting a wing to look at what you're doing wrong would be my advice. Hard to diagnose without actually seeing it in person.
Simple/quick suggestions: go in with a good vibe; warm energy, a smile, positive, solid eye contact, and if it's a situation that might make her feel a lot of social pressure (like waiting for a bus, for example), call it out by saying something like, "..I see you're waiting for the bus, so I don't want to take too much of your time, but...", or if she's in a bookstore, "...I realize you're so focused looking for your next book, but I just had to say quickly...". Sometimes people get blowouts because they ignore these things and go in without addressing what she's doing or how she might feel
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Good question should be why are you getting blowouts in the first place
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