Bob Z Journal - Summer 2024 - Taking Cold Approach Seriously

[Bob Z]

Longtime GirlsChase reader and occasional forum lurker. Decided to create an account here and finally take cold approach seriously as its undeniably the best possible way to meet the highest quality of women. Not taking this seriously means missing out on potential in one of, if not the most, important parts of one's life (sex, romance, and eventually family when I decide to settle down). I aim to eventually find a wife and have children - but I am in no hurry for that and would like to have fun in the meantime while cultivating an abundance mentality.

The catalyst for deciding to take this seriously after years of being aware of the site and game in general is the breakup with my first "serious" girlfriend. I don't care to elaborate but it didn't end on a positive note. I had actually met her years before - though we haven't been dating the entire time - when dabbling with cold approach. I wasn't really taking it seriously at the time but made around an approach per week.

I redownloaded Hinge and was matching with a ton of girls (was paying extra for the unlimited swipes) and went on a date with the first girl who would. I had been rusty to the online game so I didn't realize her photos were quite deceptive - she made herself through certain angles look "busty" but she was really a fat girl. I respectfully spent an hour with her before driving her home - but that was rock bottom for me and I almost texted my ex gf asking for her back. I felt humiliated - especially as my ex was a pretty girl (mentally unstable though...).

Fortunately I resisted and the very next morning I was walking to a coffee shop to work on my business - I made my first ever street stop. I asked if she was single and she said she had a boyfriend but was flattered. Even though I had been rejected I was beaming - I had made the most intimidating kind of approach (in my opinion) - and everything was fine. I felt I broke through a wall.

That was yesterday. Today I walked around the city sidewalks for 45 minutes. I approached a girl on a park bench and talked for a bit but realized she wasn't attractive close up. I saw a beautiful girl who crossed opposite way of me at a crosswalk. I greatly regret not turning around and approaching her - might've been a bit incongruent but i'll likely never see her again. I walked around the block to see if I could find her again but I couldn't track her down.

These are small steps but I feel enthusiastic about where things are going. I'm aware of the fickle nature of motivation - which is why I want to post here for accountability and community. This is the first time in my adult life living alone in a great city and I seek to make the most of it. I'd like to try and get good at street game and dedicate time every nice day I can to it.

-Bob Z

 

[Bob Z]

After visiting family, putting out some major fires in my business (that still aren't fully put out...), and a bit of procrastination - I finally started up day game again this weekend. On Friday after a stressful day I took a few edibles and walked around the streets envisioning making approaches without actually making any. Saw a good amount of cute girls. I ended up at a local bar and chatted with a cute waitress there who is spending a few months in my city working and traveling. I didn't move past flirting partly because I was a bit high and also since I'm not sure about the "shit where you eat" thing - although she was very cute and I may go back later...

On Saturday I attempted to day game and planned on approaching this time. I visited a different neighborhood and didn't see any solo girls. Not quite feeling like approaching girls in groups during day yet... Part of this was the neighborhood but also Saturday evenings are generally a more social time people are more likely to be out in groups as opposed to alone.

Finally today I made a real approach - after missing a ton due to AA. Started my outing seeing a cute girl sitting on the side of the road on the phone speaking in foreign tongue - I could've easily approached indirectly even just to warm up but psyched myself out of it with the excuse of her being on the phone. I passed a very cute girl soon after without approaching - just got AA - I did smile and say hi - but didn't approach. I saw another girl in the distance I could have feasibly ran behind to catch up to but got AA there too.

Mad at myself I start walking back the way I came and I see a cute girl walking in front of me in gym clothes. I run to catch up to her and open indirectly. I was a bit clumsy and didn't tease her back when she was teasing me for my starbucks order - but was glad to have finally gutted up and done one.

Unfortunately that was my last approach of the day. I ended up driving to new neighborhood which wasn't any good and wasted time/momentum that way (should've just stayed around where I was). Then drove down to another neighborhood I knew was solid. There I didn't make any approaches although I saw some cute girls on the other side of the street or in the distance I could've caught up to.

A super cute one I actually did position myself towards and would've been able to approach but she ended up walking into clothing store - had I acted more decisively I could've caught up with her faster.

Overall - disappointed with myself this outing although glad I at least got one approach in. Not worried about tactics or style or anything right now - the number one thing I need to focus on is consistently going out + getting reps (approaches) in. Thats the focus right now and I need to be more consistent. Need to switch my mentality to being more of the initiator and not being afraid to look a little silly to onlookers maneuvering and jogging to catch up to cute girls - because this seems necessary for the majority of street approaches unless in a crazy busy area.

 

[alexlaguma]

Keep going bro. Like you I started taking this shit seriously recently.

Just last week I put myself through a challenge to do 20 approaches during the week. It was great for building social momentum and a solid pipeline. Now I've done that I feel like I can just focus on doing 5-10 approaches casually each week.

 

[Bob Z]

Thanks bro - thats great - do you do only daygame?

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Hey congrats on going out and committing to it! I would say for the last part regarding onlookers it should be fine unless you stay at the same place doing multiple approaches that are not received well by the girls. It's possible that people will momentarily think: wait what is he doing?, but normally they just divert their attention right away, and won't even remember you.

In general AA is a lot about creating the worst scenarios in our heads. Also if you miss one approach, then you may beat yourself up and miss the next as well, and steadily you have a downward spiral of going around and finding perfect excuses not to approach.

What I try to do, especially when I have just been out and may not feel in the mood is the following: The first girl I pass by and looks cute I may approach or not, but then I instantly think why I didn't approach. Usually it is some form of approach anxiety masked by excuses, like ah she wasn't that cute, or she was at the other side of the pavement, or she was talking to the phone or whatever else the mind can imagine. Then I simply accept that I pussied out and had AA and commit to approach the next one no matter what. I don't care who she is with, what she is doing, I approach. Of course up to reason, if she is literally running to catch the leaving bus I will not jump on her.

But for me this mentality has worked well, and at this point I can go out and begin approaching right away usually. Because in my mind I know I am weak, and if I let it run the show, it will find excuses. So I short-circuit this process by basically saying: I don't trust myself thinking about whether to approach, the moment I see a woman that is interesting the approach is done already.

The only thing I will let myself think is how to approach. But this also up to a point, I have lost girls because I thought if I waited a bit, a better opportunity would come and it never happened. So even with thinking about how to approach I feel it should still be a very clear decision.

So you see her, you know you will approach, you think how, you commit to how, and you do it.

This could be as fast as seeing her walking towards you and stopping her right away, all the way to as slow as her coming to sit at a table in the same coffee place and you opening her after many minutes when leaving.

I personally feel this clears up a lot of mental space, because no matter what happens I know I won't be beating myself up for missing a chance or not taking action. Not that I am a perfect approach machine or anything, I may still not do it especially if I am out for another reason. Which is still an excuse because usually you always have at least few seconds to spare on talking to a cute girl and exchanging quick numbers for later.

 

[Bob Z]

Hey congrats on going out and committing to it! I would say for the last part regarding onlookers it should be fine unless you stay at the same place doing multiple approaches that are not received well by the girls. It's possible that people will momentarily think: wait what is he doing?, but normally they just divert their attention right away, and won't even remember you.

In general AA is a lot about creating the worst scenarios in our heads. Also if you miss one approach, then you may beat yourself up and miss the next as well, and steadily you have a downward spiral of going around and finding perfect excuses not to approach.

What I try to do, especially when I have just been out and may not feel in the mood is the following: The first girl I pass by and looks cute I may approach or not, but then I instantly think why I didn't approach. Usually it is some form of approach anxiety masked by excuses, like ah she wasn't that cute, or she was at the other side of the pavement, or she was talking to the phone or whatever else the mind can imagine. Then I simply accept that I pussied out and had AA and commit to approach the next one no matter what. I don't care who she is with, what she is doing, I approach. Of course up to reason, if she is literally running to catch the leaving bus I will not jump on her.

But for me this mentality has worked well, and at this point I can go out and begin approaching right away usually. Because in my mind I know I am weak, and if I let it run the show, it will find excuses. So I short-circuit this process by basically saying: I don't trust myself thinking about whether to approach, the moment I see a woman that is interesting the approach is done already.

The only thing I will let myself think is how to approach. But this also up to a point, I have lost girls because I thought if I waited a bit, a better opportunity would come and it never happened. So even with thinking about how to approach I feel it should still be a very clear decision.

So you see her, you know you will approach, you think how, you commit to how, and you do it.

This could be as fast as seeing her walking towards you and stopping her right away, all the way to as slow as her coming to sit at a table in the same coffee place and you opening her after many minutes when leaving.

I personally feel this clears up a lot of mental space, because no matter what happens I know I won't be beating myself up for missing a chance or not taking action. Not that I am a perfect approach machine or anything, I may still not do it especially if I am out for another reason. Which is still an excuse because usually you always have at least few seconds to spare on talking to a cute girl and exchanging quick numbers for later.

thank you bro - this is very useful framework - will put this into action

 

[Bob Z]

Day 2:

Went out to check out a new neighborhood. Parked in grocery store to get free parking, decided to see if there was any cute girls in there. Made an approach on one - took a bit of maneuvering to arrange a serendipitous encounter - but I got her number and she seemed interested/excited. Went indirect direct, opening with a complement/question then exhibiting interest. She put her full name in my phone under the contact which seems to be a good sign. The one thing is I was a bit nervous when handing my phone over (hands bit shaky but not like crazy 50/50 odds she noticed). I think i waited too long to send the icebreaker text tho - sent a bit less than 2 hours after meeting - should've sent earlier.

After that was on to street game - was kind of meandering and checking out the neighborhood too, went into some bookstores/coffee shops etc. Saw a cute (from a distance) chick doing work at coffee shop but given that i didn't get anything and the layout of the shop it felt too conspicuous to make an approach in that context. Saw another girl from a distance who seemed possibly cute from the back but seeing her reflection it seemed she wasn't really (could've still tried just to keep warm). I saw another girl on the other side of the street, crossed the street to get to her, then crossed back again and jogged a bit after missing a light. By the time I got to the approach I was super paranoid she thought I was following her so I botched it, just went with a weak energy indirect asking her name and she said "sorry I'm not talking" (not in cold way) - odds are she thought I was selling something. She also wasn't that cute - for some reason its actually a lot easier for me to approach the more into the girl I am.

3rd approach was a lot better - girl was walking in same direction so I slowed down - did indirect-direct. I really like the "are you single" question - it feels natural to me. She had a boyfriend, but was friendly and pleasant and we still had longer platonic conversation as I was walking back to my car.

Even with some clear errors this is my best street outing yet. Glad to have another neighborhood worthwhile for approaching in. Feeling good but have a lot of room to improve. Hoping the one girl responds - currently brushing up on chase's text game article now that I'm getting some numbers - might have some work to do in that department as well. Going to try to do every day this week hopefully or at least most days.

 

[Científico]

Funny that you also enjoy cannabis edibles. I have a love/hate relationship with them, since I find cannabis often makes me socially awkward - but sometimes in the past I have been able to approach, number close, or even pull back to my place (rarely) even while high.

Alcohol and cannabis are nice reality-bending substances that can enhance experience, but I do think they have a dark side and have to be carefully controlled.

Best of luck to you, I look forward to hearing about your journey.

 

[Bob Z]

Funny that you also enjoy cannabis edibles. I have a love/hate relationship with them, since I find cannabis often makes me socially awkward - but sometimes in the past I have been able to approach, number close, or even pull back to my place (rarely) even while high.

Alcohol and cannabis are nice reality-bending substances that can enhance experience, but I do think they have a dark side and have to be carefully controlled.

Best of luck to you, I look forward to hearing about your journey.

Definitely makes me awkward also haha. I feel like once I'm back in the game fully and approaching becomes normal I'll be able to approach well high - definitely not the case right now. Weed used to be a major problem with me but edibles are fine with my since I can control the dose and its less of an instant gratification thing (you have to wait an hour for it to kick in so its more a conscious decision). I don't drink at all anymore - hence current day game focus.

 

[Bob Z]

Day 3:

Skipped yesterday - had busy day of work and was p low energy - but went back at it today with 2 sessions of daygame.

Session 1:
First went on walk around my neighborhood. Approached girl from behind (came up to her and turned around) - made indirect conversational approach and chatted for a bit. My mistake here was the vibe was a bit platonic, in large part to me not fully sold on being attracted to her (in retrospect she was def cute enough). A bit of a warmup approach. Asked her if she wanted to get coffee and she said sure and we exchanged numbers - she didn't respond to my icebreaker).

After that I missed a super easy potential front street stop due to AA (for me AA always takes the form of making excuses in my head - most often trying to convince self she's not cute enough). Missed a few other more difficult possible street stops (girls far away or on other side of street) - needed to snap myself into it.

Ended up making front facing street stop with super cute girl. I just smiled and waved until I got her attention. I went direct: complemented outfit and asked if single. She said no, but she can't see anyone right now. I asked if anything was wrong in a half concerned half curious way (with the furrowed brow head tilt confused look). I asked if she was in situationship she said no, then said she had a crazy ex. I jokingly asked if he was filming us right now and if I should be worried. We kind of laughed then passed each other. She was smiling and flirty vibes the whole time which makes it tough to know if she was telling the truth or not. I definitely could've pushed it a bit more if I wanted. Definitely most attractive girl I approached today.

Saw a smoking hot girl like 30 seconds after that approach on the other side of the street but didn't have the umph go for it. I seem to have trouble making consecutive approached. I kind of have to resettle after one or build up the courage again. I'm still new to consistently approaching so I'll see if that naturally goes away with time. Saw a few more potential approaches that I didn't make on the walk home. For some reason I lack endurance with approaching. Feel like I just need to get to the point where its "no big deal" to approach.

Break:
Went home, had some lunch, responded to some work emails, then went back out to a new neighborhood about 20 mins away.

Session 2:
Didn't really see any cute girls when walking streets initially (saw one but she was hella far away and I'm not sure how I could've made it smoothly). I did see a beach nearby though. Passed up on a few potential approaches idk why - I guess they weren't that cute which makes it hard for me to justify approaching. Ended up approaching a group of two girls. I gave one a complement who kind of ignored me while the one behind her mouthed to me "she has a boyfriend" in a flirty way. So I sat next to the other girl who was actually a bit cuter up close than the initial girl. We chatted and she was definitely very flirty with me - however she was only 18 and that had me feeling a bit off about the whole thing so I left after chatting a bit more without getting her contact.

Made one last beach approach after hesitating for a while (since she was merely alright - likely wouldn't have approached her in street clothes, but in a bikini... idk its nice to see whats being offered lol). We actually talked for an hour in a flirty good friendly vibe. I kind of angled for an instant date - thought maybe I could bang her tonight. Honestly maybe I could have. I should've pushed more for an insta-date. She gave some token resistance to the insta-date and I didn't really push that hard for it I just kind of went back to conversation. We exchanged numbers and I sent icebreaker.

Missed a potential street approach of v cute girl when walking back to my car - I was just done for the day tbh.

Reflection:
My most approaches in daygame ever in a day (4) and most numbers (2). However - given how much time I dedicated today this was really inefficient. I also gave the day 1 girl a call (after text convo fizzled) - but she didn't answer. Even though I'm pushing through and getting approaches in I am still feeling the AA. Feeling like I am past the feeling of accomplishment just for making an approach. Now I need success. Will have to reflect and read more to figure out what I can do to improve. This is in addition to making more approaches as often as I possibly can. Big issue is not having girls I'm excited about to approach - when the girl doesn't excite me I just feel like I'm going through the motions and the only girl who really excited me today was the one who rejected me on the front facing street stop. This is also why I'm doing daygame - quality of girls CAN be higher - but I still have to approach some girls I'm not as stoked over to build up my skillset.

This is honestly priority #1 right now for me in life at this very moment (temporary ofc until I get either a great gf or build rotation). Been too long since I learned about girlschase and never took it seriously. I'm lucky to where my business doesn't require too much time to maintain roughly where its at - I will push harder there after I get this figured out.

 

[Bob Z]

Intro/reflection
Been 2 weeks since I've posted - damn. Haven't been consistent unfortunately since going out of town to visit family for the 4th. Also have been dealing with bad stomach issues killing my libido and drive to approach - have started some peptides which have helped this tremendously which is really lifesaving and have drastically boosted my libido drive and state.

I was fortunately able to make some approaches this weekend. For some reason my neighborhood has dried up a bit for day game - I went out earlier this week and didn't find a single approach - the previous time I went out I saw like 8 possible quality approaches and typically see girls all over. I live near campus which is out but it was still good a few weeks after finals/graduation so not sure whats happening will just have to adapt.

Daygame
On Friday I got back into things - daygaming around my neighborhood. It was again unusually dry and I only saw one girl worth approaching. She was unlocking her bike and I complemented her on her bike and made some small talk with a clear flirty vibe - she definitely seemed attracted but when I asked if she was single she said she had boyfriend of 3 years. Maybe I should've asked her to get coffee/ice cream first as it would've been easier to counter the boyfriend objection, but in all likelihood she was committed. A positive development was that I had almost no AA on this approach. Saw a few other ok girls but none were that hot or approachable - a few in jogging gear fastwalking which feels low odds to me - and doesn't inspire me to approach unless the girls are really cute.

Definitely a bummer to see my neighborhood so dry. Saturday I tried going downtown and it was super packed and tourist filled with families and groups. I think I understand more why people think of street game as low odds because they think of it only in areas like this. I didn't make an approach here but just explored the area a bit. Might be worth revisiting this area or the side streets around there during weekdays when it'd be fewer tourists and more solo girls.

Nightgame
Becoming frustrated with the lack of volume to time involved in my recent daygame excursions I decided to actually go out last night which I typically never do as I don't like to upset my sleep schedule. First bar I went to was packed with people but all in friend groups I got the impression that it might've been frat group. Perhaps I could have attempted to build up some social familiarity or something like that there but I quickly walked around to check out another bar where I got a drink and talked to some cool guys to build social momentum.

I then took Uber to bar I know has cute girls. I made a very weak approach to some girls playing darts - then sat alone on my phone. As luck would have it I actually had a group of 3 girls (2 cute ones) come up and sit with me. I made friendly conversation with them all but focused on one and the other friends left us alone. I made flirty banter with her then moved her to the bar to get a drink. I covered the tab and we had a good flirty vibe. She downed her drink FAST and ended up dropping her drink when it just had ice in it. Even though she was flirting and clearly attracted she ended up leaving to "find her friends" - I think she was just too drunk although I couldn't sense it at the time. I actually saw her friend before the girl I was talking to and helped her find the girl I was talking to.

I flirted with some more girls who ended up having boyfriends (that they were there with) but talked with a cool guy who I offered to have come with me to reapproach my girl - figuring having some friends around would help social proof etc. However the cool guys friend was a sloppy drunk and derailed the conversation. Unfortunately I didn't see the girl again after although I had her number from earlier. She didn't pick up when I called her today.

Also went to 3 bars after that which all felt super friend-groupy - as in friends sitting at tables and bars together with groups of people they came with. This gives me a lot more AA than approaching a solo girl in streetgame. Going to read some GC articles and skilled seducer posts to try to figure out a better strategy for night game and approaching in groups but I was glad to get out there.

Outro
Was nice to get back out there. Hope to be more consistent going forward now that my stomach issues seem to be resolved (knock on wood). Will definitely try to at least do night game once a week going forward as well but will still keep focus on daygame.

 

[bgwh]

I can relate. Summer dries up daytime. Also felt higher AA at nighttime. Feels weird to approach groups partying, very different feeling than a solo girl in daytime. Now I know that I could "get it handled" in terms of night-time too, but one wonders if it's even worth it to do so considering the super-high quality of chicks in daygame. Skills take time to develop, and I'm wondering whether developing that skill is even a good investment. I guess the only logic is "so you have a backup method in periods when daytime is dry"...

 

[Bob Z]

I can relate. Summer dries up daytime. Also felt higher AA at nighttime. Feels weird to approach groups partying, very different feeling than a solo girl in daytime. Now I know that I could "get it handled" in terms of night-time too, but one wonders if it's even worth it to do so considering the super-high quality of chicks in daygame. Skills take time to develop, and I'm wondering whether developing that skill is even a good investment. I guess the only logic is "so you have a backup method in periods when daytime is dry"...

Weird to see summer drying up daygame to the extent it has - although the beach is still a good spot, will just need to adapt locations.

Honestly in regards to whether nightgame is worth it, my logic is that cross gaming will improve my overall social skills/game/calibration which will help with daygame. Feels like at the right bars there is high quality also - at least lookswise - nightgame. Also tends to be way higher volume and you're able to get more reference points faster. That being said if I had less free time than I do now I probably wouldn't mess with it.

 

[bgwh]

Weird to see summer drying up daygame to the extent it has - although the beach is still a good spot, will just need to adapt locations.

Honestly in regards to whether nightgame is worth it, my logic is that cross gaming will improve my overall social skills/game/calibration which will help with daygame. Feels like at the right bars there is high quality also - at least lookswise - nightgame. Also tends to be way higher volume and you're able to get more reference points faster. That being said if I had less free time than I do now I probably wouldn't mess with it.

I guess it depends on your city. Where I live it matches what Sartain and Luke say, the nightlife has become the place for girls who aren't attractive enough to get validation on social media. The actual hotties no longer need the nightlife for validation, and only go out to high-end invite only places where it's all hot girls and rich guys. Those same girls have to shop and do their daily chores though, so are accessible in daytime.

 

[Bob Z]

I guess it depends on your city. Where I live it matches what Sartain and Luke say, the nightlife has become the place for girls who aren't attractive enough to get validation on social media. The actual hotties no longer need the nightlife for validation, and only go out to high-end invite only places where it's all hot girls and rich guys. Those same girls have to shop and do their daily chores though, so are accessible in daytime.

I used to live in Miami and it was definitely that way when I was there although there were some more lowkey places that were still solid such as the wynwood bars at least at the time I was there (nothing like miami daygame though). The clubs were all terrible for pickup for sure.

Now I live in midwest city and the girls are a lot less clout hungry and many just go out for fun like what i imagine it was like 20/30 years ago. Club scene doesn't even exist here really - mostly just bars. Honestly I think the impression of girls being so obsessed with social media clout etc. is because most internet influencers and red pill guys live in LA, Miami etc where girls are like that. Most girls where I live think that stuff is cool but its not really their MO. Lot of hot wholesome girls here tbh. Girls even if not interested will still have conversation with you generally lol.

 

[Bob Z]

Location/AA Reflection + Beach Game (Instadate?)
After walking through my neighborhood again and not seeing a single girl worth approaching I concluded my neighborhood is now "cooked." Bummer because it was great spot until a few weeks ago but I guess its just time of year.

Ended up going to beach and felt the AA hit again hard - which is weird because the last Daygame approach I made (on friday in my neighborhood) I literally had no AA for. I think walking around my neighborhood a bunch of sessions and not making any approaches (because there were no cute solo girls) had trained my brain slightly not to be as proactive. Also wasn't acclimated to new location. Hit me hard to be walking from car to beach and see cutie after cutie completely and not be mentally prepared to approach any. On the beach I was super reluctant to approach anyone.

Realized I had to make at least one approach to build back momentum so I casually started to chat up the girl I laid my towel beside. She was EU solo tourist (obviously great logistics), we had nice conversation for probably an hour and even went in the water together. It was tough to read if she was interested or what the vibe was because she was very subdued and not emotive or sarcastic like most American girls are - she was pretty monotone. I did make effort to look away at times leave pauses in conversation which she always picked up to keep going which was good sign. She had to check out of old hostel and into new one so I couldn't do further insta-date. Got her WhatsApp - she will be here at least a few more days so I'll try to meet up. She did ask if I live alone at one point - maybe she was just continuing conversation or maybe checking for future logistics.... Very tough to read honestly. But she replied positively to icebreaker.

After she left I took a long work call while still on the beach afterwards which I didn't feel like further approaching. I had flirty convo with attractive older women near my car but just lacked the inertia to progress further. For some reason I have mental block with older women but honestly would love to get over that soon haha.

 

[Bob Z]

Scouting New Daygame Locations

On Wednesday I tried a new neighborhood for daygame. Walked around about 45 mins and realized pretty quickly this was not going to be a prime area for game - no really cute girls there. Theres another part of the neighborhood I do think will be good though another time.

On Thursday I went back to the shopping area close to the beach I went on Tuesday. For some reason AA hit very hard and I got really in my head. Missed an approach with an attractive black girl - I get in my head about making approaches to types of girls I don't have experience with (black girls, older women, taller women etc). Missed another approach and then got in my head pretty badly. What made things worse is that I was re-walking some of the same streets multiple times - I didn't even realize this was heightening my AA until further reflection. Security guards standing outside the high end stores also contributed to the AA I believe. After that I saw a few more approaches but I was so in my head and out of it I just didn't make any. Painful to go back to square one of not making an approach in spite of ample opportunities - but its motivation to get my shit in order.

Here's what I'll do to ensure that doesn't happen again.
-Have a set walk planned so I don't retread the same area. Even though I'm going out to game and not with a specific destination if I have a set walk it feels like I'm out on a normal walk and running into the girls is just coincidental.
-Visualize the types of approaches I'll make and have a plan going into it how I'm going to approach the approach (lol) - this will prevent indecision keeping me from approaching
-Visualize myself approaching girls outside my typical demographic
-Work on building momentum asap - asking people walking dogs to pet their dogs, giving spontaneous compliments etc. and don't put pressure on the first approach to work, but make sure to make the first approach
-its more than about showing up to daygame but having a plan and being mentally prepared
-Its not a big deal to approach politely and its pretty casual thing, gotta keep that in mind

 

[Bob Z]

Daygame Breakthrough

I had been scouting out locations, making one off approaches for the past week kind of trading water - (also was out of town twice which took away some momentum also - that should be over for a while though) - but I had a massive breakthrough in daygame yesterday.

I had in my daily plan to go talk to some girls on the beach - and believe it or not my friend (who I had been preaching about cold approach to) called me and asked if I wanted to go talk to girls with him today. Very serendipitous - would be first time daygaming with a wing.

Firstly the new beach which he suggested was filled with cute girls. We were both kind of making excuses at first but eventually I started making approaches.

Approach 1: Girl tanning/reading. I approached solo her by asking what she was reading. She was doing a work travel program in my city and when I asked if she minded if I sat and chatted a bit longer she said she would chat but had a boyfriend. Nice but disinterested vibe. I tried to ask her if she wanted to go out with her friends (I had actually met girl from her same program earlier this summer) and my friends but she said her group was leaving tomorrow. Feel like not much I could do there.

Missed approach 1: Girls giving us AI's as we both were moving location - we didn't capitalize.

Approach 2: Girl tanning - I was walking and as I passed her I said "pardon me." She looked up slightly annoyed face (I forget if she said something or reacted) - I walked back and apologized "haha I didn't mean it in rude way like you were in the way - nice to meet you by the way my name is Bob.... Total blowout - she was not feeling it at all and I asked if she wanted to talk more and she said no. I was giving off good vibes and kind of got her to crack a smile but I wasn't getting anything and ejected. Not sure if I could've done anything there.

Approach 3: Group approach. We were in area with a bunch of groups of girls and solo girls together and realized we could only approach one without looking spam approachy. There was group of 4 girls that was hottest and some cute solo but we decided to approach a group of 2 girls since we were 2 guys and we knew who we would go for in advance. They were receptive and friendly - we just were generally social and had group conversation sometimes splitting off into each talking to our girl. It was hard to go deep or do sex talk or gambit given the social group situation so I just tried to be cool guy. Looking away at times and not being any more locked in on them than they were on us. We hung out w/ them for about an hour and jumped in water together. We got numbers and dipped. My girl was very responsive to icebreaker and was trying to arrange date. Funny enough I mentioned her to from friend from same area as her and he had already smashed LMAO - I will probably still try to why not.

Friend then made solo approach while I chilled for a bit - nothing to say on that

Approach 4: Group approach. Approached these two girls - ended up being too young so we ejected politely.

Approach 5: Group approach. Group of two girls. We made small talk - they were a bit giggly but didn't seem super receptive. We talked for a bit but ejected - when we looked back on it we ejected too early they were possibly just a bit shy.

Approach 6: Solo approach: Jogging/walking girl taking break from walk to scroll phone. I did an indirect-direct approach with her (asked where water fountain was then switched to direct) and she was beaming. I asked if she was single and she said unfortunately no. I could tell I made her day as she was very smiley at being approached. I wonder if asking if she was single was shooting myself in foot in case she had dying relationship etc. Especially since she was so warm and friendly to me. Oh well.

Approach 7: Group of 2 girls. I started talking - they were friendly and one of them randomly knew my sister lol (not super well though). We talked for a while as a group - one had a boyfriend and the other didn't. I wasn't super into them so I let my wing go for the girls number. The one girl with boyfriend says other girl gets approached almost every time they come here haha. He had a weak number close (pussyfooted around reason why he wanted number). But overall pretty good.

Great breakthrough day! Both in that I have good wingman now (gamechanger) and a great location I wasn't aware of before - finding good locations was a struggle for a while. Not to mention that I got a lot of approaches in. Lots to work on but it feels like momentum is finally on my side.

 

[Bob Z]

Day 2 After Breakthrough

Spent some more time in field the following day. Really wasn't feeling it and was in a shit state + stomach problems creeping up again - but my wing was pushing hard to go out - so I decided to go out and get some more reps in and try to maintain momentum.

Approach 1 - Solo girl. Tanning and half napping - I said some situational indirect opener and she didn't react - I couldn't tell if she didn't hear me (I spoke in normal volume) or if she was ignoring me. Then my friend says another thing at same volume and she lifts her head - she laughs a bit and says she thought she heard something but wasn't sure if it was to her. We start chatting and eventually my friend picks up that she likes me more and he splits off to scout more. We talk for maybe 20 minutes and honestly I did quite bad - we talk about various topics and I'm able to steer the conversation. I try to do trust and comfort gambit but I botch it and she infers that I must be talking about there being a lack of comfort between me and my ex (we had just talked about past relationships - I was hoping to use Chase's technique in the "past relationships" article - but it didn't really work since she hadn't had longer than a 2 month relationship (she is 20 y/o) - I wasn't sure how to go from here and I struggled with leading the conversation in a productive way. Honestly she might've been insecure and some complements could've really worked well her. I still ended up getting her number and ended on a decent note. Could've definitely done a lot better here. Part of that i'll chalk up to state but I need to get my game down enough so I have stuff I can rely on even if my state sucks. No response to icebreaker but will text again soon.

Approach 2 - Group approach - 3 girls tanning. We put our stuff down nearby, plop in water for a bit then come back to our stuff and open. My friend leads. Blowout. One word answers and disinterest... oh well on to the next.

Approach 3 - Group approach - 2 girls tanning. Same playbook with putting stuff nearby and jumping in water. I open - polite blowout - short answers and generally disinterested vibe.

...Friend takes next solo approach

Approach 4: - 2 girls on bicycles looking out at water. I tried to make this approach more high energy and fun as we felt our previous ones were a bit too low energy. The girls pick up the good energy and are friendly and smiling. The girl has a one piece with sports team on it - I ask if she is an athlete or a fan - both of them apparently are high level athletes. We ask if they are getting in the water - they say they are considering it but not sure how cold it is. I jump in the water to try to goad them to come in but they don't follow. We banter very briefly for longer but they decide they're not going in water and to continue bike ride. I invite the girls to fun party my friend is hosting this weekend (there is no party - i just felt that was a good premise) she says she doesn't drink (athlete duh) I say she doesn't have to and I don't really drink either (true) - but when I sense thats not her vibe I just ask if I could get her number and she says yes with good energy. It takes me like a minute to find my phone out of my backpack (since I threw it in there before jumping in water) - I make a remark along the lines of "ahh its taking me a while because im stumbling because im getting number of such a cute girl." Kind of DLV but also a bit charming and she's still smiling and gives me her number. My friend asks friend for number but she says she has boyfriend and they leave. My friend remarks that me jumping in water killed momentum - i thought it was good vibe but maybe not good r/r at that point in conversation.

Missed approach: Saw two super cute girls smoking cigs and jumped in water again with plan to talk to them after but by the time we got out they had left (they were there super briefly) - should've just approached right away. Major bummer as they were v attractive and good vibes/style.

...last approach: my buddy made with two girls but I didn't really like them and was burnt out. I stuck around to be cool guy/wing but eventually had to actually leave. My friend apparently got both of their numbers and is talking to the one he likes. Not really counting this one.

Stats from 2 days:
-Approaches: 11 total. 4 solo girls. 7 Group approaches with wing.
-Hooks: 5. 3 solo. 3 group approaches
-Number closes: 3. 1 solo. 2 group approaches. 1 hot lead, 1 warm lead, 1 normal lead

Things to work on and improve on from both days and beyond:
-Need to memorize some gambits and conversational threads meant to boost attraction/sexual vibe/etc. to have in back pocket - especially in times of low state
-Focus on higher/more fun energy during approach to increase hook rate and set better tone to the approach
-Decide on strategy for when girl says she has boyfriend, whether to keep ejecting or to have strategy to test if she's still interested
-Work on text game (might make a post on main board about a question I had after)
-Continue to strategize and read on best ways to open to maximize odds - especially regarding two guys opening two girls in daygame which is more difficult than 1 on 1

 

[Bob Z]

Solo Beach Game (3 approaches) - return from break:

Prelude: Wow I've really been out of the game nearly 3 weeks after a breakthrough 2 days. I have some minor excuses I could make but the main reason is that I didn't really feel motivated to approach for whatever reason. My wing ended up deciding to commit to this one girl so I'm back riding solo which is honestly no big deal. Decided to hit the beach/park area today. I watched my brain try to make excuses of why not to go out, but I went anyway.

Warming up: I knew from previous outings that warmups are key. My go-to for beach/park is asking people to pet their dog and what breed it is and starting conversations that way. I did this with a few people. Some cute girls playing were playing music on their speaker and I said "nice tunes" as I was walking by. Prior to warming up I saw a group of two girls with a cute dog (and one very cute girl of the two) who I regretted not approaching - wouldn't have been too difficult to open. Bummer. Probably chatted with 3-4 people/couples talking about their dog before making first approach.

Approach 1: Blonde girl in workout clothes was lying down reading a book. I asked her while smiling "what are you reading," she smiles back and we banter a bit about the book. We make playful small talk about city, work, school and have friendly vibe. I can't fully read her interest so I ask if she's single and she tells me about her boyfriend - she's definitely telling truth as she gave pretty specific details when I was asking about him. We continue talking another few minutes as I don't want to eject right after I realize she's taken and I politely leave. She was super friendly but taken - oh well, good first approach. Nothing I can do there really.

Missed approaches: When I was walking on trail I passed a cute girl. Didn't approach and no real good excuse why. Missed opportunity. The more difficult situation was this one girl tanning and reading. The reason I didn't approach was because there were two girls who were also tanning closely and they were facing the direction of the girl tanning. So if I was to approach her, these girls sitting 10 feet away would have clear view of entire thing. This is dumb reason but it gave me added AA and hesitancy so I avoided.

Approach 2: I actually ended up approaching the girls I said "nice tunes" to earlier. They had a case of hard seltzers and I politely with a curious/hesitant/playful smile asked if they had an extra for me. They were enthusiastic/friendly and gave me the last one. We started making playful small talk and they were there celebrating the cutest of the 3's birthday which was today. I asked for their instagrams and one of the girls rebuffed that, but I was able to carry on the conversation normally and segway it into a conversation about social media - the cutest one apparently doesn't use it (or has been fully off it the past couple months) and the other 2 were making fun of her for it. Obviously big green flag.

Eventually we talked about jumping in the water in spite of very high waves. I told them I'd go in if they followed after. They were being coy and trying to say "oh you can but idk if we will." I knew I didn't want to come off as trying to impress them, so i played it off casually and joked about it for a bit before jumping in. 2 of the 3 girls ended up jumping in after me which was a big win for compliance. When we got out of the water we chatted some more and I pulled away a bit from convo trying to be at least a bit aloof.

I asked the cutest one for her number and she gave it to me. The friends seemed generally supportive with the one who earlier rebuffed me saying "you seem like a nice guy" in an enthusiastic tone (like "oh wait this guy is actually cool"). The girl actually said she was a little nervous when typing in her number. We hung out a few more minutes later before they left on good terms. I really liked this girl so hoping this number turns positive.

A really time consuming approach as I was with them for at least an hour - not sure if this is a good use of time, but in the group situation it seems like the only move is to be cool guy/high value, hang out for a bit and exchange numbers. Doesn't feel like I can do much game. I actually made a post in the boards asking about this exact scenario (or a similar) I believe but it didn't get a reply.

Approach 3: After that I was happy but I knew I needed to make at least once more. I approached a cute girl wearing headphones watching the scenery. I complemented her outfit/style and she said thank you. She took out one earbud but held it a few inches away from her head indicating she was going to put it back as soon as I stopped talking to her. I asked if she was single and she said she actually had a girlfriend (lesbian/bi?). I assume she was telling truth - not much I can do there. She was very friendly and polite though.

Postlude: Really good day. One strong lead and 3 good approaches. Could've made more but thats ok. The great thing about today was that approaching really felt like no big deal and almost formulaic. Something I can easily replicate. An interesting thing about all the approaches - and I think this is true of daygame in general - is that I really need to spell it out that I'm interested. Even flirty vibe seems to not be enough for most girls - I'm not "hiding the banana" at all (references the one Chase article). My go to has been just asking "are you single" which most girls appreciate the frankness of.