Brutal Introduction back to nightgame! (Do I need to revise my approach?)

[average_daygamer]

It was my first time in the club since September. I was solo by myself and was feeling in my head.

However, as the night wore on and a steady trickle of girls filled the club, I was getting into it.

I did one approach, which passed without incident, but was rebuffed.

Then a three or four set shows up with a brunette in a short skirt with the top of her boobs showing out of her top. Needless to say, she was just my type.

I have to manoeuvre around until I can get anywhere near where she can see me to do an approach.

I touch her on the shoulder and she seems to reject me or be surprised that I tried to approach her.

But her friend goes berserk and starts accusing me and screaming bloody murder. At this point I back away to get up some distance but she is still being aggressive (the friend) so I take out my phone and gesture to take a picture incase she assaults me.

She goes beserk more and accuses me of filming them and chases me off the whole dance floor and to the downstairs floor where she finally gives up.

I chill out downstairs and manage to talk to another 2 set to relieve my nerves and to reassure myself that I haven't done anything wrong.

By this time one of the security guards comes and gets me and I know what's up.

I calmly explain that I thought the girl was fixing to hit me so I went to take a photo to make her think twice.

I also explain that I only tapped her friend on the shoulder, I did not grope her or anything sexual. However, the security guard said any kind of touching could be considered sexual harassment, but seems somewhat sympathetic. But he did say to bear that in mind for next time.

My question is, how do you approach girls on the dance floor? Is touching completely off the cards?

Obviously the security will always side with the girls. Some of these groups of dancing girls can become very aggressive if approached.

So I don't know really how to go forwards. This is the only club I can get to for a couple hours nightgame and get the train home on time.

I plan to go next week and see if they let me on again. I don't know if they will or not, but they didn't say I was banned although it still feels a bit sad and embarrassing to

 

[ChrisXKiss]

There was no need really to provoke her with the phone. What could a girl like her realistically do to harm you anyway? Even if she went fully crazy and started hitting you, you could probably simply take it. In fact I would say that the more relaxed and unreactive you stayed the better it would have been.

It doesn’t make a lot of sense to argue or escalate such confrontations. If you truly only opened with a touch and the friend went crazy you could have just acknowledged how over the top the reaction was, and kept your distance, treating her non-verbally as the weird girl she was being.

I cannot imagine a girl that continues attacking a guy who left her alone immediately after this situation and went to chill to the bar. Even if she does follow you around and keeps bothering you, she is absolutely the weird one out, since you excused yourself and are just chilling now relaxed.

My point is that there was no need for all this to reach the point of her chasing you all the way to the other floor. It even painted you as someone that really did something wrong, both in her mind, and to the other people that saw you.

Even from the bouncer’s perspective, if you just relaxed and stayed centered after the incident, with the girl going all out by herself, he would see that and realise she was in the wrong. You could even make a new friend by telling him fully grounded: “Man this chick, I went to talk to her friend and she instantly jumped on me lol, do you get that stuff a lot around here?”

Regarding the approaching part itself, I don’t see anything bad with tapping someone on the shoulder, even if your vibe was way off a simple tap should not trigger such an intense reaction.

I would say the best thing would be to try to check which girls look more open, if any seem to specifically be giving you indications of interest and for the rest of them still go in and make a move but be fully ready to eject if you sense they are not interested.

And stay grounded. If you did, this same girl that was shouting at you would get at least intrigued by this man who was not affected at all by her tantrums and kept enjoying his night anyway.

 

[Skills]

It was my first time in the club since September. I was solo by myself and was feeling in my head.

However, as the night wore on and a steady trickle of girls filled the club, I was getting into it.

I did one approach, which passed without incident, but was rebuffed.

Then a three or four set shows up with a brunette in a short skirt with the top of her boobs showing out of her top. Needless to say, she was just my type.

I have to manoeuvre around until I can get anywhere near where she can see me to do an approach.

I touch her on the shoulder and she seems to reject me or be surprised that I tried to approach her.

But her friend goes berserk and starts accusing me and screaming bloody murder. At this point I back away to get up some distance but she is still being aggressive (the friend) so I take out my phone and gesture to take a picture incase she assaults me.

She goes beserk more and accuses me of filming them and chases me off the whole dance floor and to the downstairs floor where she finally gives up.

I chill out downstairs and manage to talk to another 2 set to relieve my nerves and to reassure myself that I haven't done anything wrong.

By this time one of the security guards comes and gets me and I know what's up.

I calmly explain that I thought the girl was fixing to hit me so I went to take a photo to make her think twice.

I also explain that I only tapped her friend on the shoulder, I did not grope her or anything sexual. However, the security guard said any kind of touching could be considered sexual harassment, but seems somewhat sympathetic. But he did say to bear that in mind for next time.

My question is, how do you approach girls on the dance floor? Is touching completely off the cards?

Obviously the security will always side with the girls. Some of these groups of dancing girls can become very aggressive if approached.

So I don't know really how to go forwards. This is the only club I can get to for a couple hours nightgame and get the train home on time.

I plan to go next week and see if they let me on again. I don't know if they will or not, but they didn't say I was banned although it still feels a bit sad and embarrassing to

There is a tap on the shoulder opener (rsd), that was ok to do back in the days and in certain situations , but for from guys with more experience and in certain situations(were they have strategically get a sense of the group dynamics and they know they got it), is your 2 finger (long and index together) gently tapping (ideally once or twice gently to get the attention), though you don't want to scare the girl and it has to be the right timing (i do a lot of dance floor and i don't even do that opener it was a 2013 rsd type opener)....

when a girl does stuff like that, you ignore and move away and go to a different venue...... Something during the approach happened that creeped the girl out and/or cause the friends to come rescue, and you pissed them off even more escalating the incident by pulling out phone, you should have just ignore and left to another part of club or another venue, if things escalate this bad cause it destroys social proof...

 

[JT Sunshine]

I go out solo at night all the time and have only had one girl react to me like that (and off a simple “hi”). I just turned away and carried on like nothing happened… and nothing happened beyond that. I had a friend get a similar reaction at the same club, be he started arguing with the girl super loud and ended up getting bounced right out of the club. Best to just let it go and keep it moving…

In terms of tapping the shoulder, I do it all the time, especially if I’m opening situationally. I make sure not to let it linger and I’ve never gotten a bad reaction. Maybe tapping is not the right word… I put my hand on her shoulder and ask/say something, but remove it quick. Seems to get her attention without coming off overly touchy, and if she responds positively I’ll keep doing it while getting increasingly flirty.

Dance floor is not my forte (@Skills is the one to ask), but I just dance, and if a girl is near me and looks interested I’ll hold out both my hands to her and see if she takes them to dance with me. Little compliance test. If she doesn’t, I’ll just smile and keep on dancing, no big deal.

 

[Skills]

I go out solo at night all the time and have only had one girl react to me like that (and off a simple “hi”). I just turned away and carried on like nothing happened… and nothing happened beyond that. I had a friend get a similar reaction at the same club, be he started arguing with the girl super loud and ended up getting bounced right out of the club. Best to just let it go and keep it moving…

^ correct you ignore and move away to a different part of venue, or to another venue....

In terms of tapping the shoulder, I do it all the time, especially if I’m opening situationally. I make sure not to let it linger and I’ve never gotten a bad reaction. Maybe tapping is not the right word… I put my hand on her shoulder and ask/say something, but remove it quick. Seems to get her attention without coming off overly touchy, and if she responds positively I’ll keep doing it while getting increasingly flirty.

Yea tapping is the right word again index and long finger tap and remove right away to get her attention on the right situation, but you are more experience that was his first time... To op i would avoid this opener for now till you get more experience and don't do it for now in the dance floor..

Dance floor is not my forte (@Skills is the one to ask), but I just dance, and if a girl is near me and looks interested I’ll hold out both my hands to her and see if she takes them to dance with me. Little compliance test. If she doesn’t, I’ll just smile and keep on dancing, no big deal.

^ the only issue with that if she does not take the hands, and people around saw that you just lost social proof, there is no need to take the hand i would not do that...

 

[JT Sunshine]

^ the only issue with that if she does not take the hands, and people around saw that you just lost social proof, there is no need to take the hand i would not do that...

That’s a fair point, and social proof does seem to play a big part in that type of club environment… dance floor game seems to be the area where I struggle most with trying not to miss opportunities while also not risking giving away too much value

I naturally gravitate more to the bar areas but at one club especially there is a big dance floor that always has 20-30 very hot women who seem to stay out there all night. Definitely an area I need to get my skills better with so I'm not missing out on all those girls

 

[Skills]

That’s a fair point, and social proof does seem to play a big part in that type of club environment… dance floor game seems to be the area where I struggle most with trying not to miss opportunities while also not risking giving away too much value

Exactly well put....

I naturally gravitate more to the bar areas but at one club especially there is a big dance floor that always has 20-30 very hot women who seem to stay out there all night. Definitely an area I need to get my skills better with so I'm not missing out on all those girls

Yeah i need to update and do dance floor posts updated to gen z... my videos on dance floor old... I like the bar area is good too or bathroom area...

 

[Chase]

@average_daygamer,

Don't do shoulder taps.

Position yourself next to her and do the upper-arm-to-upper-arm nudge.

Don't look at her until she looks at you.

This is pre-opening.

Greatly enhances the odds of a warm opening.

If you nudge her and she reacts with disdain / moves away / recoils / flashes a look of disgust, just move on and don't open her (i.e., save yourself a pointless rejection).

If you want to do dance floor game, I would suggest you either read @Teevster's guide to it, or buy @Skills's book.

Or just don't meet them on the dance floor and instead wait till they come off it... that's my preferred approach...

Chase

 

[average_daygamer]

There was no need really to provoke her with the phone. What could a girl like her realistically do to harm you anyway? Even if she went fully crazy and started hitting you, you could probably simply take it. In fact I would say that the more relaxed and unreactive you stayed the better it would have been.

It doesn’t make a lot of sense to argue or escalate such confrontations. If you truly only opened with a touch and the friend went crazy you could have just acknowledged how over the top the reaction was, and kept your distance, treating her non-verbally as the weird girl she was being.

I cannot imagine a girl that continues attacking a guy who left her alone immediately after this situation and went to chill to the bar. Even if she does follow you around and keeps bothering you, she is absolutely the weird one out, since you excused yourself and are just chilling now relaxed.

My point is that there was no need for all this to reach the point of her chasing you all the way to the other floor. It even painted you as someone that really did something wrong, both in her mind, and to the other people that saw you.

Even from the bouncer’s perspective, if you just relaxed and stayed centered after the incident, with the girl going all out by herself, he would see that and realise she was in the wrong. You could even make a new friend by telling him fully grounded: “Man this chick, I went to talk to her friend and she instantly jumped on me lol, do you get that stuff a lot around here?”

Regarding the approaching part itself, I don’t see anything bad with tapping someone on the shoulder, even if your vibe was way off a simple tap should not trigger such an intense reaction.

I would say the best thing would be to try to check which girls look more open, if any seem to specifically be giving you indications of interest and for the rest of them still go in and make a move but be fully ready to eject if you sense they are not interested.

And stay grounded. If you did, this same girl that was shouting at you would get at least intrigued by this man who was not affected at all by her tantrums and kept enjoying his night anyway.

Ok, apart from the photo thing I did basically as you said. But she wasn't backing down and causing all sorts of drama.

The problem with the club (especially this one) is that people come in big groups and the hot girls is normally in some sort of pre formed group that they came in with.

Given the opportunity, they would simply stand in their group and dance all night until chad approached.

I can't remember exactly as I did, but there was a small 2nd confrontation that occured after the initial over reaction where they formed a little "girl gang" tried to take my phone away from me after I pretended to take her picture to show to the security.

I just didn't expect a tiny girl(s) to dare to display such aggression which was what annoyed me so I counted with the "I'm going to take your pic and show you to security" which back fired!

Thinking back, I think she might have been on drugs. I really don't think there is any other way to get the attention of the girl you want on a noisy dancefloor then the shoulder tap, but I will certainly be feeling more in my head the next time I go to that club.

 

[average_daygamer]

There is a tap on the shoulder opener (rsd), that was ok to do back in the days and in certain situations , but for from guys with more experience and in certain situations(were they have strategically get a sense of the group dynamics and they know they got it), is your 2 finger (long and index together) gently tapping (ideally once or twice gently to get the attention), though you don't want to scare the girl and it has to be the right timing (i do a lot of dance floor and i don't even do that opener it was a 2013 rsd type opener)....

when a girl does stuff like that, you ignore and move away and go to a different venue...... Something during the approach happened that creeped the girl out and/or cause the friends to come rescue, and you pissed them off even more escalating the incident by pulling out phone, you should have just ignore and left to another part of club or another venue, if things escalate this bad cause it destroys social proof...

I did almost not react but I was feeling inside my head and happy that I managed to finally approach a girl in a group of them dancing.

They will just stay in their groups and dance indefinitely unless somewhat boldly approached by a male.

It really pissed me off how her friend was trying to order me away from her in such an aggressive manner. That's when I gestured to take a photo to show the guard and yes it did give her more ammo to claim I was a creep.

But the physically being aggressive part didn't make sense to me. I am 6'1 and weight 90kg's (200lb) (about 14% bf), quite what a tiny girl thinks she is doing coming at me with such aggression, I do not know.

I think it was the audacity that pissed me off more than anything. She was trying to order me away from her group and the hot girl I was interested in.

I was slightly annoyed, she got under my skin, admittedly. Maybe drugs? She certainly seemed to lack any self preservation instincts.

If I saw more hot girls out during the day I would certainly not bother. But I just don't see the volume during day game that I do in the club and they are all in one place for the approaching. But the act of approaching itself can seem to trigger them for certain unclear reasons at times.

 

[average_daygamer]

I go out solo at night all the time and have only had one girl react to me like that (and off a simple “hi”). I just turned away and carried on like nothing happened… and nothing happened beyond that. I had a friend get a similar reaction at the same club, be he started arguing with the girl super loud and ended up getting bounced right out of the club. Best to just let it go and keep it moving…

In terms of tapping the shoulder, I do it all the time, especially if I’m opening situationally. I make sure not to let it linger and I’ve never gotten a bad reaction. Maybe tapping is not the right word… I put my hand on her shoulder and ask/say something, but remove it quick. Seems to get her attention without coming off overly touchy, and if she responds positively I’ll keep doing it while getting increasingly flirty.

Dance floor is not my forte (@Skills is the one to ask), but I just dance, and if a girl is near me and looks interested I’ll hold out both my hands to her and see if she takes them to dance with me. Little compliance test. If she doesn’t, I’ll just smile and keep on dancing, no big deal.

Interesting.

I think I tried to turn the girl gently towards me using her shoulder as an anchor point.

But still nothing to provoke such a "defense" from the friend.

I just wasn't expecting it and it caught me somewhat off guard and I must admit, I was offended.

I think the "photo" incident was really what set her off.

In hindsight, I did want to get back at her for blocking me talking to the hot girl.

The thing is, they know security will side with them. But I could have easily floored her if I was not as calm as I am. She should be careful in the future, trying to chase guys away that have left the immediate vicinity could have a different outcome.

As for dancing, it just isn't my thing at all. I go to the club to put the approaching reps in. It is the one place that delivers the volume of girls over 18 but under 30 and there is none of the hesitation of daygame where you have to think "is she old enough" before approaching.

And as an aside, it does feel a bit awkward to start approaching too soon when the club is nearly empty.

 

[average_daygamer]

@average_daygamer,

Don't do shoulder taps.

Position yourself next to her and do the upper-arm-to-upper-arm nudge.

Don't look at her until she looks at you.

This is pre-opening.

Greatly enhances the odds of a warm opening.

If you nudge her and she reacts with disdain / moves away / recoils / flashes a look of disgust, just move on and don't open her (i.e., save yourself a pointless rejection).

If you want to do dance floor game, I would suggest you either read @Teevster's guide to it, or buy @Skills's book.

Or just don't meet them on the dance floor and instead wait till they come off it... that's my preferred approach...

Chase

All validate points Chase.

I do feel that dancefloor game is too complicated.

But I get missed messages about it. Some people say the club is somewhere you can approach, experiment, be bold, be physical etc.

Yet on the other hand, it seems way more complicated if you actually want to get results and avoid incidents.

I am much more in my natural habitat in the smoking area, but I hate cigarette smoke.

I can also fit an approach in at the bar but again it's hard to express my intentions because they can't hear a word I say, but atleast they are not dancing on top of that.

So that really only leaves the smoking area and I would like to be more versatile than that.

It does seem all the hottest girls spend a lot of their time on the dancefloor. Hell, they are all in groups in general.

And as a single seducer it can certainly be a hard part to navigate.

 

[average_daygamer]

^ correct you ignore and move away to a different part of venue, or to another venue....



Yea tapping is the right word again index and long finger tap and remove right away to get her attention on the right situation, but you are more experience that was his first time... To op i would avoid this opener for now till you get more experience and don't do it for now in the dance floor..


^ the only issue with that if she does not take the hands, and people around saw that you just lost social proof, there is no need to take the hand i would not do that...

Ah skills, thank you for the input

I did try moving to a different part of the venue but I wanted to grab a pic of her to show the bouncers incase she continued, which unfortunately, she did.

As for experience, I am not new to the club, but I am a beginner.

The club is the only time I am around younger, hotter girls in general so it does make me in my head a bit.

I think I did try to move the girl to face me somewhat, but not forcefully and it certainly wouldn't have been a move out of place in the club.

As for the social proof thing that JT mentioned, I normally try to be oblivious to social proof when I am up in the club.

I go there to put the reps in and no one is gonna remember you the next day! And when you are solo, your social proof has been tanked already!

It really is just a numbers game and in theory, you should be able to run the numbers in the club and act a bit more boldly with girls than in daygame.

But I honestly find club game way more complicated and confusing than daygame.

However, it delivers the volume. Last night was a run of the mill Saturday but I've seen more hot girls than I have all week in daygame.

It's just that they don't seem to want to be talked to very much.

 

[Chase]

But I get missed messages about it. Some people say the club is somewhere you can approach, experiment, be bold, be physical etc.

Yet on the other hand, it seems way more complicated if you actually want to get results and avoid incidents.

In another thread you mentioned being on the autism spectrum.

I would be very careful with nightclubs on the spectrum. Nightclubs are intricate social environments with all kinds of multi-layered social considerations happening all at once. Being on the spectrum, most of these layers will be invisible to you, so people are going to end up reacting in ways you cannot predict and do not understand.

If I was you I would start by learning to pre-open and ping, and not be trying anything bold until you have got some basic social understanding of seduction dynamics and club dynamics first:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-hook-girls-pt1-pre-opener

How to Test Girls for Interest BEFORE You Approach (Pinging)

Before you approach a girl, test her for interest. By doing this – using ‘pings’ – you can virtually eliminate rejection, and find many more yesses. One of difference between most smooth cold approach practitioners versus your average man on the street running up to a woman he finds attractive...

www.girlschase.com

I am much more in my natural habitat in the smoking area, but I hate cigarette smoke.

You've gotta take the bad with the good.

Have enough good experiences in the smoking area and you may find you start to kind of like that scent a little bit.

I can also fit an approach in at the bar but again it's hard to express my intentions because they can't hear a word I say, but atleast they are not dancing on top of that.

Learn vocal projection.

Hit your consonants harder and d-r-a-w out your vowels.

If she still can't hear you, motion her closer so she puts her ear near your mouth.

If you can't hear her, tap your ear so she leans closer to speak.

It does seem all the hottest girls spend a lot of their time on the dancefloor. Hell, they are all in groups in general.

Cheerleader effect:

Meet Girls Spots and the Cheerleader Effect

Men gravitate to places filled with hot girls to do their approaching. Such venues are rarely the best place to meet girls… but men keep going due to the cheerleader effect. We had a conversation on the forum the other day about better spots to meet women where your odds of successful hookups...

www.girlschase.com

Chase

 

[KnownUniverse]

the friend probably went berserk because she wasnt the one being hit on or you were hitting on the one that always gets attention. One time i started gaming this young babe in a group of 4 and it was going well until her older butter faced friend turns around and starts pointing and screaming at me in her loudest voice. This kind of stuff happens all the time.

 

[JT Sunshine]

Chase’s advice is super solid.

The downside of the smoking area is that there will always be fewer people there, BUT those who are out there are often trying to get away from the crazy environment indoors to chill a bit. You can open much lower energy and get good results.

I find most girls these days no longer smoke cigarettes, but vape. Easy opener- “what flavor is your vape? That smells so good”, then just keep talking. Keep it short and fun, then if you see anyone inside the venue that you met on the smoking patio, it is really easy to reopen.

 

[JT Sunshine]

Exactly well put....

Yeah i need to update and do dance floor posts updated to gen z... my videos on dance floor old... I like the bar area is good too or bathroom area...

Would love a post on gen z dance floor game… the whole night game environment seems to have changed after covid and im still trying to figure it out

Bathroom area is underrated - no end of traffic there, especially where the girls bathroom is right next to the guys