Burned by logistics

[Dash]

Dudes,

Ah, logistics. A cautionary tale to always plan ahead for success.

I was out last night with a group of girls who are loosely in my social circle. All attractive professional women.

I was seated beside a hot asian girl that I'd met quite a while ago, and have always been flirty with.... and she's been quite flirty with me, as well.

I know she has a man, but since he wasn't around I thought I'd practice sexy, bad boy, edgey, vibe.

We're all sitting at tables in a loud pub. Asian girl is seated to my right on a bench. Another girl (my closest friend of the bunch) is to my left. They're talking back and forth and I just sit there sipping my beer and tossing in comments here and there.

Asian girl keeps shoulder bumping me, and initiating conversation. I roll with it and slowly try and amp up the sex vibe - touch her arm, press my thigh against her's, talk into her ear, that kinda stuff.

The night progresses and the group shrinks to just the two girls on either side of me. My gal friend HAD to have seen what was going on, because there was no air between this asian girl and myself.

I hatch a plan. When my friend gets up to go to the bathroom (figuring she'd have to do that sooner or later) I would push on with asian cutie. So that's what I did.

My friend gets up to hit the loo, and I ask asian "Are you single?"

She shakes her head. "No."

I ignore this, figuring I'd estabished my interest with a single question.

I then start asking about her new place, and so on. It was about two blocks away.

"Love to see the new pad. Why don't you show me around?"

My friend returns and I keep up the theme of going back to asian girl's place.

I could kind of see her will to fight start to crumble. She'd more or less agreed to take me to her's.

Problem: I had to take a piss REALLY bad. And I had to eliminate the third wheel, my friend, who probably wasn't keen to see me seduce her buddy (she's friends with the boyfriend). I also had to pay my bill before trying to get out of there with asian.

So I get up, hit the can fast, pay my bill, get back to the table... and wham. Spell broken. Maybe they talked or maybe asian got cold feet. Either way - she left and I sat and drained a few pints with my friend.

I should have used the opportunity when my friend was in the bathroom to establish the logistics of getting back to asian's place. Maybe tell her to leave, and I'd follow in a couple minutes.

Almost had it! But, hopefully, I've set a good sexual frame with asian girl that can be exploited in the future.

 

[almosteasy21]

Awe that's a bummer man. To tell you the truth I wouldn't have been able to close that either. The only thing I could've maybe suggested was to get the third wheel super drunk so that would give you guys a reason to go back to her house two blocks away. Dump her on the couch to sleep while trying to escalate with the other girl. However that would be an expensive hail mary.

 

[Chase]

Estate-

Sounds like your friend hung around because she picked up on the vibes and knew what was going down. She "saved" Asian girl from going back with you and hurting her boyfriend and this girl's other friend.

Tough judgment call to make as a friend - do you cockblock one friend to help another? Generally speaking, most people will - they'll err on the side of preserving existing relationships over helping two people hook up who aren't likely to build a new relationship together.

When you're in these kinds of situations, it's usually better to play down your interest and try not to let other parties, who may have an interest in blocking you two love birds from consummating your flirtation, see it. Just be calm, cool, and not overly sexual, and much of the time you're okay. The other person doesn't know for sure if you'll do something, so she ends up not having any strong impetus to step in and try and stop it. She'll think, "Are they going to do something? I don't know... I can't really tell," and then maybe stay out a little longer, but not as long and not with as much certainty as she will if it's more obvious.

Chase