Can I salvage this?

[Penguin]

Here's the end part of a very brief Facebook conversation with a girl I met at my new job (would have preferred her number but I don't have the opportunity to talk to her at work). She always replied quicker than me e.g. same day.

Her: Haha really? When? I know! Its only a couple of weeks, it's mad! Do you have to go in the fridges much?



Me: Yep all the time. I really envy you sitting there at room temperature . What days do you get off this week?

Her: Haha, it is pretty great if I'm honest Sunday I think what about you?



Me: Cool I'm off Sunday too. How about we go get drinks at The Gate then if you're not busy, around 2pm?



Her: I can't, I'm going home on Sunday morning, sorry

I think this reason is most likely true, as I know another guy at work is a student and he's going home for Christmas this weekend too. However, it seems to be a bad sign that she didn't suggest an alternative. What would be the best thing to say in this situation?
Thanks

p.s. It's her birthday today if you can use that.

 

[Light]

"Your home or mine...? Just joking That's sweet. It's a shame, I was hoping to catch you before Santa Clause does.. ho ho"

"P.S: Happy Birthday Dear x"

 

[Penguin]

That's a good one. Clearly you have more imagination than I do . But I haven't been able to make things sexual yet since our only two face-to-face talks have been in the presence of co-workers :/. They went well, and I was challenging in a way that amused her, but we got interrupted both times by a (jealous?) fat girl . Should I say something to the effect of "let me know when you get back and we'll figure out a time"?

 

[Light]

Hell No.

Move things into the sexual context immediately.

NOW is the best time to get her thinking about you sexually over her break at home my friend.


Light

 

[Penguin]

That makes sense. Are there any other ideas before I go with Light's witty "Your home or mine"?

 

[Light]

Sorry, I forgot to add to the last line....

"P.S: Happy Birthday Dear, May All Your Naughty Wishes Come True. x"

 

[Penguin]

Ok Light I'm going with your line . And don't worry, she's not my favourite- This one's just a practice . I'll tell you on here if it worked. Thanks for your help man.

 

[Chase]

Howdy Penguin,

Quick note on dialogue here -

Her: Haha, it is pretty great if I'm honest Sunday I think what about you?



Me: Cool I'm off Sunday too. How about we go get drinks at The Gate then if you're not busy, around 2pm?



Her: I can't, I'm going home on Sunday morning, sorry

The reason she's apologizing / taking care of your emotions here is you asked her when she's free before asking her out, which comes across tentative and as if you want to corner her into being free before telling her what you want her to do with her free time. Next time, you'll want to get her to agree to go out before asking her schedule, so she knows why you're asking, e.g.:

• You: Let's get drinks sometime soon, when are you off this week?
  
  Her: Sunday, but I'm going home Sunday morning.
  
  You: Ah, that's too bad. We'll just have to connect when you get back, then.

That allows you to conduct things more gracefully in the event she says no so you won't suffer any major compliance loss, and it prevents all the power from going over to her side of the table. It also makes it a lot easier for her to tell you when she's free again, and for her to retain (or even build) attraction and respect for you so you can try again later.

- Chase

 

[Penguin]

Great to hear from you Chase . I will be sure to do that with the next one and everyone after.
Here's what happened next:

Me: Your home or mine? Just kidding see you when you get back birthday girl
Her: Haha mine :L and yeah

Can't really tell if this is good or bad. I suppose it's good that she replied at all, and is also agreeing that we will be seeing each other when she returns. What does that :L emoticon actually mean? Is it positive e.g. or negative e.g. :/

 

[Franco]

Hey Penguin,

Me: Your home or mine? Just kidding see you when you get back birthday girl
Her: Haha mine :L and yeah

That's a tough read. If you want my honest opinion, I'd say that she's just being friendly. Keep in mind that she works where you do, so she may just be responding as to not make things awkward.

This may not be entirely the case though. That emoticon she put is a "curved sad face," which basically means, "yeah, that's too bad!"

I would tread carefully... she might be interested, but she hasn't given you any glaring IOI's either.

- Franco

 

[Penguin]

It looks negative to me too, but then again many people on the internet claim that :L indicates laughter. I rarely/never see her at work by the way as we have different roles. We'll see what happens when she gets back I guess .

 

[Franco]

It looks negative to me too, but then again many people on the internet claim that :L indicates laughter.

Interesting! I just Googled it and also came to the same result. A lot of people claim to indicate that it means "laughing."

That has to be the most AMBIGUOUS laughing face I have ever seen! I prefer this: " "

Thanks for looking that up though!

- Franco

 

[Penguin]

Tell me about it XD and it changes the tone of the entire message depending on which interpretation you go with.

 

[Light]

Hmm.. That is a hard one to read.

To be on the safe side. I wouldn't send her another message until after you've both seen each other face to face again. Or if she messages you first.
Then you can talk about how she spent her Christmass. Otherwise it may just creep her out, and you don't want that.

Good Luck.


Light

 

[Penguin]

Yeah don't worry Light I wasn't going to do anything else until at least next year. Not sure if she will message first because she sent the last one and some people feel awkward about sending two in a row. Also there's no guarantee we will meet at work again because we're on temporary contracts.

For future girls, I was wondering about what Chase said above about having the invitation precede the schedule enquiry. Is it correct just to randomly drop the invitation in during any high point of the conversation?

 

[Light]

Yeah don't worry Light I wasn't going to do anything else until at least next year. Not sure if she will message first because she sent the last one and some people feel awkward about sending two in a row. Also there's no guarantee we will meet at work again because we're on temporary contracts.

For future girls, I was wondering about what Chase said above about having the invitation precede the schedule enquiry. Is it correct just to randomly drop the invitation in during any high point of the conversation?

Yup. Any high point. You can even use the "Yes, yes" formula as a combination.

 

[PinotNoir]

Sorry to revive an old thread, but that emoticon really peaked my curiosity...

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emoticons:

... :L ... Skeptical, annoyed, undecided, uneasy, hesitant

Sorry bro, it doesn't look like a good sign, but it's still a hard read. Although, she may have purposely made it ambiguous.

I wonder if you could play off the emoticon, jokingly make a comment on it or just directly ask in a playful way.

>Haha mine :L and yeah

>":L"? want me to enter from the left side door? >
or
>your L-face has no effect here >
or
>:M
>Huh?
>I thought we were just escalating to the O face :O or is that for when you get back?

These are probably bad and too direct, just throwing them out there. I've been trying to experiment more in texting to see what reactions I can get.

 

[Penguin]

Might as well wrap this topic up since it got resurrected . It didn't go well with this girl after a decent start. This was partly due to situation (always being in a group when we met and being cock-blocked by a fat jealous girl) but also due to the newbie mistakes I made which thanks to this practice girl I can now avoid every time in the future. These errors were:

- Adding on Facebook - Destorying intrigue and reducing attraction (Facebook friends = friendzoned)
- Not asking out in person
- Asking about schedule BEFORE asking out, which looks unconfident
- Not bringing sexual tones into the interaction early enough (but we were being listened to by others for the most part)

Things that went well:

- Approaching her in the first place (before jealous fat girl joined in XD), overcoming approach anxiety
- Being fairly concise with the texting (Facebook messaging) and using it to try and set up a date instead
- Having fun and challenging conversation in person