Chics blow me off after knowing I'm Indian

[Gladiator]

Hey guys,

Long time lurker here but this is my first post.

I'm not someone who likes to complain or have a victim mindset. This is just a fact and has happened 100s of times.

I've been cold approaching for past 5+ years and have average results. If all the chics who've blown me off after knowing I'm Indian, had complied, perhaps I'd have been a master seducer by now. Unfortunately, it's not something I can change.

I don't have an accent and it's very hard to guess where I'm from. I've traveled a lot and I'm living here more than 9 years. So, it's not hard for me to approach and hook. But at some point there is this dreaded question:

"So, where are you from originally?"

Sometimes I give a silly answer like, "I'm from heaven" or "I'm from the moon" etc but sometimes they insist or I just feeling like saying it and just say "I'm from India".

Everything changes after this point. I've had some awkward interactions where the chic just gets very uncomfortable and would leave.

I've tried everything I can think of, like brushing it off like no big deal, change the subject, say that although I'm from India, I've been here for longtime etc. But nothing seem to work.

Sadly, Indian media is very politically driven and paints a very bad picture of India just to pull-down the political party in power to point out their shortcomings. However, this is not true at all. (This is just to give a true story and I don't want to get into a political debate)

So, based on what is shown in media, Indian men are portrayed as unsafe, stereotypes related to arranged marriages, polluted, not clean, socially uncalibrated etc. This maybe true to a tiny if we're talking about remote rural India but cities in India are as advanced as the west. There's corruption and there are unsafe people and places everywhere in the world for that matter.

Anyway, once they know I'm Indian, some of them get into these discussions asking "is it safe?", "What do you think of arranged marriages?", "Do your parents arrange your marriage?" etc. It all goes downhill from here.

I lose my frame since I defend all of these since it's not true but I come across as try-hard or over-selling. What can I do?

Cheers,
Gladiator

 

[killerman]

You cant change where you're from. Just carry on improving your level of attractiveness eg put on as much muscle as possible, improve your fashion, hair, voice, facial hair etc. And whenever girls ask you where you're from just say "from the east but if you join me we can go on an adventure somewhere together". Just dodge the question and make your reply something flirtatious, playful and fun.

 

[killerman]

Hey guys,

Long time lurker here but this is my first post.

I'm not someone who likes to complain or have a victim mindset. This is just a fact and has happened 100s of times.

I've been cold approaching for past 5+ years and have average results. If all the chics who've blown me off after knowing I'm Indian, had complied, perhaps I'd have been a master seducer by now. Unfortunately, it's not something I can change.

I don't have an accent and it's very hard to guess where I'm from. I've traveled a lot and I'm living here more than 9 years. So, it's not hard for me to approach and hook. But at some point there is this dreaded question:

"So, where are you from originally?"

Sometimes I give a silly answer like, "I'm from heaven" or "I'm from the moon" etc but sometimes they insist or I just feeling like saying it and just say "I'm from India".

Everything changes after this point. I've had some awkward interactions where the chic just gets very uncomfortable and would leave.

I've tried everything I can think of, like brushing it off like no big deal, change the subject, say that although I'm from India, I've been here for longtime etc. But nothing seem to work.

Sadly, Indian media is very politically driven and paints a very bad picture of India just to pull-down the political party in power to point out their shortcomings. However, this is not true at all. (This is just to give a true story and I don't want to get into a political debate)

So, based on what is shown in media, Indian men are portrayed as unsafe, stereotypes related to arranged marriages, polluted, not clean, socially uncalibrated etc. This maybe true to a tiny if we're talking about remote rural India but cities in India are as advanced as the west. There's corruption and there are unsafe people and places everywhere in the world for that matter.

Anyway, once they know I'm Indian, some of them get into these discussions asking "is it safe?", "What do you think of arranged marriages?", "Do your parents arrange your marriage?" etc. It all goes downhill from here.

I lose my frame since I defend all of these since it's not true but I come across as try-hard or over-selling. What can I do?

Cheers,
Gladiator

Also on another note, if she keeps on persisting to know where you're from if you're from Kashmir say you're from Kashmir, if you're from gujarat say you're from gujarat. Most chicks won't know where those places are and will just assume they're countries somehere. Don't say you're from India, just say you're from X region. If their reaction to you saying you're from India is negative it could be because of media/social programming. Saying you're from X region and that could bypass that reaction and they shouldnt care. And anyway, if a girl truly likes you she won't really care where you're from. Just make yourself so attractive that she doesnt care. If you make yourself attractive enough you'll impress her and it'll actually be a bonus, as you'll be that sexy exotic guy, and girls like sexy exotic guys. Hope that helps.

 

[TestY]

I don't have an accent and it's very hard to guess where I'm from. I've traveled a lot and I'm living here more than 9 years.

Perhaps you can try and assimilate to the culture to the extent that you could honestly say that you now identify as a citizen of whatever place you've been for the last 9 years? Just a thought...

 

[Beam]

Also on another note, if she keeps on persisting to know where you're from if you're from Kashmir say you're from Kashmir, if you're from gujarat say you're from gujarat. Most chicks won't know where those places are and will just assume they're countries somehere. Don't say you're from India, just say you're from X region. If their reaction to you saying you're from India is negative it could be because of media/social programming. Saying you're from X region and that could bypass that reaction and they shouldnt care. And anyway, if a girl truly likes you she won't really care where you're from. Just make yourself so attractive that she doesnt care. If you make yourself attractive enough you'll impress her and it'll actually be a bonus, as you'll be that sexy exotic guy, and girls like sexy exotic guys. Hope that helps.

+1, try this out. Even if you still want to say India (cause she might follow up saying "where's that", you could try saying "I'm from Kashmir, in Northern India". It makes it sound a lot more exotic and sophisticated than just India and girls may have less of a knee jerk reaction to it/keep their minds out of "bobs and vagene" mode.

Edit: I should also point out that because you've been rejected soon after saying it so many times, you could now be giving off hesitant vibes when it comes up which she might also be picking up on, which you might not be aware of. Not saying this is the case but you may not be owning the fuck out of it and they can tell.

 

[ulrich]

I would try outright lying just to see if it effectively changes anything.
I am not 100% sure that just the India is causing you so much trouble. Let’s get it out of the way and see if results improve.

Try saying you’re from UK (which is full of ethnically Indian people) and see if results improve.

 

[Chase]

That doctor from Captain America had a good answer for someone who was obviously from somewhere the host country had bad relations with:

Steve: "Where are you from?"​

​

Doctor: "Queens. But before that, Germany."​

I overheard a playboy answering this question in an interesting way a few weeks ago... I really liked his answer. It went like this:

Girl: Where are you from?​

​

Him: I'm a citizen of the world. I was born in Italy but I don't consider myself Italian. Home is where I am. I find work wherever I am; I make friends where I am.​

​

Girl: That's amazing.​

Anyway, from what you wrote here, the real problem is this:

Anyway, once they know I'm Indian, some of them get into these discussions asking "is it safe?", "What do you think of arranged marriages?", "Do your parents arrange your marriage?" etc. It all goes downhill from here.

I lose my frame since I defend all of these since it's not true but I come across as try-hard or over-selling. What can I do?

You need to stop doing that.

You're not going to undo someone's assumptions in a drive-by conversation. Nor does it mean "Oh, he's from there, he must be just like that." You need to focus on NOT being a representative of that... and instead just being seductive / a flirt.

When I'm overseas, I get people saying things to me like, "Oh, America? It's crazy how much gun problems/racism/sexism/Puritanism/division/corporate control/religious fundamentalists/violent protests/etc. they have over there."

I'm always just like, "Yeah, it's crazy over there! Why do you think I'm over here, lol?"

Sometimes I get the alternative, "America! That's the place to be! It's so much better than this hell hole! I don't know why you'd come here if you can be there!"

You just do the same thing, "Yeah, it's great! I need variety though... I can't do just one place, one people. Gotta see it all!"

Doesn't matter if I agree with what they're saying or not. It's just agree & keep moving to get off the topic quick.

People always have an exaggerated caricature opinion of places they haven't spent time actually living in. There's no point trying to correct that in a quick first meeting. If you get into an LTR with her you can always gradually introduce her to the more nuanced view of your homeland later on.

I get people overseas who find out where I'm from then are like, "My country is #1!" and I'll just be like, "Yeah, it's great over here!" They don't act like "Haha, I got one over on you!" at that point -- instead they're just really proud to talk about their country and that you like it too.

On the other hand, when I'm in the States I will meet foreigners who go on and on about "how great it is here in America!" I don't look at them and think, "What a loser, crapping on their homeland!" I just think, "Well, that's nice they found a place they're happy to be in!"

The main things are:

• Don't try to defend your homeland (otherwise you look defensive)
• Don't be really negative on your homeland either (otherwise you bring yourself down)
• Just get off the topic ASAP with some well-calibrated humor

e.g.:

HER: Where are you from originally?​

​

YOU: Oh, I'm from Delhi. Do I have an accent?​

​

HER: A little... wait, so you're Indian? Don't they have arranged marriages there?​

​

YOU: They totally do. That's how my parents met!​

​

HER: So do they have an arranged marriage for you?​

​

YOU: I mean, if I moved back there at this point my relatives would all start trying to set something up... why do you think I'm not living there, lol!​

Etc.

If you get caught in, "Oh, it's not really like that, actually it's like blah blah blah..." then you're not seducing, you're giving her a lecture.

Seduction is about flirtation, fun, and so on.

Your answer should be something that attracts her, gets her laughing, inspires curiosity, etc.

You're not David Attenborough. This isn't "India in the Wild" or something... it's a flirtation.

Make it flirtatious.

I would try outright lying just to see if it effectively changes anything.
I am not 100% sure that just the India is causing you so much trouble. Let’s get it out of the way and see if results improve.

Try saying you’re from UK (which is full of ethnically Indian people) and see if results improve.

This is another good suggestion.

It looks to me like the big issue is you not knowing how to handle the "oh, problems with India" objections and getting logical/factual/defensive.

It is not INDIA that is the problem; it is your response to India that is the problem.

Saying you're from somewhere else for a while might give you a nice baseline for what your reception is like without that problem.

Then you can always circle back and come up with calibrated answers to India objections that get you to that same baseline without having to fib.

Chase

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

I don't believe you.

There's zero understanding of game in this post, AND this is the cut and paste "Indian PUA can't get girls because he's Indian" post.

 

[Gladiator]

Edit: I should also point out that because you've been rejected soon after saying it so many times, you could now be giving off hesitant vibes when it comes up which she might also be picking up on, which you might not be aware of. Not saying this is the case but you may not be owning the fuck out of it and they can tell.

Possible. Whenever I encounter this question, my mind goes: Fuck! Not again!
Perhaps my vibe changes and chics pick that up easily

I would try outright lying just to see if it effectively changes anything.
I am not 100% sure that just the India is causing you so much trouble. Let’s get it out of the way and see if results improve.

Try saying you’re from UK (which is full of ethnically Indian people) and see if results improve.

I have lied a few times saying I'm from Singapore.
Once a chic that I lied to ended up in my social circle and it didn't go well after others discovered I had lied to her.

It is not INDIA that is the problem; it is your response to India that is the problem.

I've thought of this too. I haven't tried agreeing so far. Will try that. Nothing to lose anyway.

 

[ulrich]

I have lied a few times saying I'm from Singapore.
Once a chic that I lied to ended up in my social circle and it didn't go well after others discovered I had lied to her.

That’s a problem but I’m not advocating for lying the rest of your life.
Do that 20-30 times with girls who are not in your circle and see what happens.

Tell your friends what you are doing (if they’re supportive) and own your actions (“oh, yeah.. I said that… sorry, lately I’ve had so many people acting weird because I am from India that I wanted to just give it a break”)

This is a temporary experiment to find out if people know you come from India is the real issue here.
I’m betting you will find you run into a specific issue even when saying you’re from somewhere else (your nationality is a symptom, not a cause… I bet)

 

[Spyce D]

This ..... I have never faced in my life, mostly . And even if I did , I never cared .

Now .... I will take a different approach
What I will write is not a game technique but more of an internal mindset shift that I did to myself 2 years ago .

Hey guys,

Long time lurker here but this is my first post.

I'm not someone who likes to complain or have a victim mindset. This is just a fact and has happened 100s of times.

I've been cold approaching for past 5+ years and have average results. If all the chics who've blown me off after knowing I'm Indian, had complied, perhaps I'd have been a master seducer by now. Unfortunately, it's not something I can change.

I don't have an accent and it's very hard to guess where I'm from. I've traveled a lot and I'm living here more than 9 years. So, it's not hard for me to approach and hook. But at some point there is this dreaded question:

"So, where are you from originally?"

Sometimes I give a silly answer like, "I'm from heaven" or "I'm from the moon" etc but sometimes they insist or I just feeling like saying it and just say "I'm from India".

Everything changes after this point. I've had some awkward interactions where the chic just gets very uncomfortable and would leave.

I've tried everything I can think of, like brushing it off like no big deal, change the subject, say that although I'm from India, I've been here for longtime etc. But nothing seem to work.

Sadly, Indian media is very politically driven and paints a very bad picture of India just to pull-down the political party in power to point out their shortcomings. However, this is not true at all. (This is just to give a true story and I don't want to get into a political debate)

So, based on what is shown in media, Indian men are portrayed as unsafe, stereotypes related to arranged marriages, polluted, not clean, socially uncalibrated etc. This maybe true to a tiny if we're talking about remote rural India but cities in India are as advanced as the west. There's corruption and there are unsafe people and places everywhere in the world for that matter.

Anyway, once they know I'm Indian, some of them get into these discussions asking "is it safe?", "What do you think of arranged marriages?", "Do your parents arrange your marriage?" etc. It all goes downhill from here.

I lose my frame since I defend all of these since it's not true but I come across as try-hard or over-selling. What can I do?

Cheers,
Gladiator

A question to you -

Do you feel any kind of inferiority complex from being Indian?



Guess what I used to feel ashamed of being Indian and it was all due to media , news , movies ( Bollywood+Hollywood) because of which I would fake my accent , try to suck up to foreigners and whatnot and It only fucked me up .

So , a few years back , I realised that you should take pride in your Heritage, culture and you must clear image of who you are .

Like for me , when I think of India/ Bharat , following things come to my mind .( Whether you agree with it or not )
# Land of original Aryans .
# Still following the ancient customs despite so many foreign invasions .
# Warriors / kshatriya
# yoga + meditation ( chicks did it a lot , many foreign girls have asked me if I did yoga or not )
#future superpower ( hopefully)


Basically , I don't give a shit if someone doesn't like me for my race .

And with chicks ...It's more or less just a shit test . Like @Chase replied , you should learn to flirt with her rather than getting defensive .

I never talk about my image of India with chicks because I am not there to change their mentality , I am there to seduce . .

So , if a girl would ask me about me about xyz , i may or may not reply depending on my mood . Lol.

My approach is me being a BARBARIAN +HINDU in my general life .

Now , some of you may not agree with and it's fine by me.

 

[POB]

As with every other race stereotype, the most powerful thing you can do is to improve your presentation:
- dress as sharp as humanly possible. Only do first dates dressed to kill.
- same goes for your social media, if you have any (and you should, just to show them proof it's safe to be with you).
- look the part and walk tall. Talk smoothly, project your voice, show a great first impression.
- adress race objections before they arise...this is usually done in a self-deprecating way (e.g. What do you work with? "Currently nothing...I lost my job when Big Bang Theory ended");
- check what the other guys said...take the best things your culture has to offer and present them in a seductive way.
- holy shit, Kama Sutra alone is a topic you could deep dive with all girls!

I can think of 2-3 sexual gambits using the wikipedia description:
"The Kama Sutra which means 'Principles of Love' is an ancient Indian Sanskrit text on sexuality, eroticism and emotional fulfillment in life. Attributed to Vātsyāyana,[6] the Kama Sutra is neither exclusively nor predominantly a sex manual on sex positions, but rather was written as a guide to the art of living well, the nature of love, finding a life partner, maintaining one's love life, and other aspects pertaining to pleasure-oriented faculties of human life.

It is a sutra-genre text with terse aphoristic verses that have survived into the modern era with different bhāṣyas (exposition and commentaries). The text is a mix of prose and anustubh-meter poetry verses.

The text acknowledges the Hindu concept of Purusharthas, and lists desire, sexuality, and emotional fulfillment as one of the proper goals of life. Its chapters discuss methods for courtship, training in the arts to be socially engaging, finding a partner, flirting, maintaining power in a married life, when and how to commit adultery, sexual positions, and other topics.[9] The majority of the book is about the philosophy and theory of love, what triggers desire, what sustains it, and how and when it is good or bad.[10][11]"

 

[Skills]

As with every other race stereotype, the most powerful thing you can do is to improve your presentation:
- dress as sharp as humanly possible. Only do first dates dressed to kill.
- same goes for your social media, if you have any (and you should, just to show them proof it's safe to be with you).
- look the part and walk tall. Talk smoothly, project your voice, show a great first impression.
- adress race objections before they arise...this is usually done in a self-deprecating way (e.g. What do you work with? "Currently nothing...I lost my job when Big Bang Theory ended");
- check what the other guys said...take the best things your culture has to offer and present them in a seductive way.
- holy shit, Kama Sutra alone is a topic you could deep dive with all girls!

I can think of 2-3 sexual gambits using the wikipedia description:
"The Kama Sutra which means 'Principles of Love' is an ancient Indian Sanskrit text on sexuality, eroticism and emotional fulfillment in life. Attributed to Vātsyāyana,[6] the Kama Sutra is neither exclusively nor predominantly a sex manual on sex positions, but rather was written as a guide to the art of living well, the nature of love, finding a life partner, maintaining one's love life, and other aspects pertaining to pleasure-oriented faculties of human life.

It is a sutra-genre text with terse aphoristic verses that have survived into the modern era with different bhāṣyas (exposition and commentaries). The text is a mix of prose and anustubh-meter poetry verses.

The text acknowledges the Hindu concept of Purusharthas, and lists desire, sexuality, and emotional fulfillment as one of the proper goals of life. Its chapters discuss methods for courtship, training in the arts to be socially engaging, finding a partner, flirting, maintaining power in a married life, when and how to commit adultery, sexual positions, and other topics.[9] The majority of the book is about the philosophy and theory of love, what triggers desire, what sustains it, and how and when it is good or bad.[10][11]"

^ yeah, also is missing with the stereotype of sexual repression you can be a bit more sexually aggressive @Dreamer meets all of the above and and he does pretty well, gets the blondes, brunetees, and redheads from Europe this is what he does:

When the girl says where are you from to dreamer:

he says i am from the land of Kamasutra! he has 0 issues (i wish he would post lr ports here, but he is too busy)...... i personally would say the land of Kamasutra, joga and meditation to dhv.... (but i am kjing i am no from buda buda land)

If you think you will lose girls cause you are Indian it will become a self fulfilling prophesy... Avoid the stereotype, we all have them...

white boys= lame and boring
latin = macho, overprotective, jealous
black= too sexually dominant and aggressive
asians= too shy
indians= sexually repressed

when i meet women they thing i will be a jealous, possessive, macho guy, that may rough her up a bit, i totally address this and avoid the Latin stereotype...

So dude field test, i do use like you where are you from? i am from heaven and look at the sky, but then you have to cut the crap, tell her after she laughs and she insist, guess i will give you a hint, i am from the land of joga, meditation and then say Kamasutra (slowing down sexy deep voice) change the tonalitywhen kamasutra, and you can start sexualizing talking about it, like a sex authority.... (i think teevester may have a routine on this)

 

[Gladiator]

So dude field test, i do use like you where are you from? i am from heaven and look at the sky, but then you have to cut the crap, tell her after she laughs and she insist, guess i will give you a hint, i am from the land of joga, meditation and then say Kamasutra (slowing down sexy deep voice) change the tonalitywhen kamasutra, and you can start sexualizing talking about it, like a sex authority.... (i think teevester may have a routine on this)

This is a good strategy. It short circuits her thinking from "Indian" to something else, which are also positive characteristics. Will try it.

Thanks guys, for all your ideas, I'll try all of these and see what works

 

[MarioTheDom]

Girl: Where are you from?Him: I'm a citizen of the world. I was born in Italy but I don't consider myself Italian. Home is where I am. I find work wherever I am; I make friends where I am.

LOL THAT'S ME - WTH ???? Are you in Krakow good sir?

 

[MarioTheDom]

As with every other race stereotype, the most powerful thing you can do is to improve your presentation:

That fixes the issue - I know plenty of Indian guys that slay, so there must be a problem with how you present the package

 

[Chase]

LOL THAT'S ME - WTH ???? Are you in Krakow good sir?

Haha, there must be two of you then.

Unless you have platinum blond hair and wear ostentatious red floral sports coats while talking about the books you are writing...

 

[Skills]

This is a good strategy. It short circuits her thinking from "Indian" to something else, which are also positive characteristics. Will try it.

Thanks guys, for all your ideas, I'll try all of these and see what works

Also say from mumbai sounds exotic vs india in case causes knee jerk reaction (though mental masturbation territory)... but at least gives you a placebo self confidence since you are trigger/traumatized by saying india... something i was thinking about...

 

[POB]

You can have some kama sutra images stored on your phone.
When they ask about it, you show them the images while you are explaining.
(creates natural proximity, you can even do some lite kino on her).

Also forgot, but Indians are know in the west as great dancers.
If it's something you can do, please, use it to your advantage!

 

[Gladiator]

Also forgot, but Indians are know in the west as great dancers.
If it's something you can do, please, use it to your advantage!

Didn't know this but yes, I dance different dance forms including Latin dancing.

I was thinking about everything you guys said and I guess it's more about how I react to that question than what I actually say.

When I started, I didn't have this complex and never paid attention to that even. But I've had many chics sharing their initial opinions of Indian guys (after I've gotten with them) and I've had so many bad reactions only after knowing I'm Indian, so it kind of triggers me like experiencing a mini-trauma whenever I encounter this question which is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I must work on this by being aware or even practicing in front of the mirror or visualizing answering in a cool calm collected way