Científico returns

[Científico]

There was a recent GirlsChase article on the main RSS feed that struck a cord:

Why Women Break Up with Guys After Years of Dating

Despite years in a happy, satisfying relationship, women sometimes start turning resentful and pulling away. What causes this – and can it be reversed? Contents 1. An LTR Is a Girlfriend Lease 2. Understanding Lease Periods 3. How to Get It Back How It Was 4. 3 Dubious “Get It Back” Strategies...

www.girlschase.com

Essentially, it addresses exactly my situation. It is interesting how these articles can be so timely, like the last one that convinced me I need to transition my relationship to an open one.

It is timely because I know my current partner is still on her 'lease' period. But eventually I am going to have to make a choice. I need to show her I can move the relationship forward (towards cohabitation), otherwise she will grow resentful and the relationship will fall apart. I do believe I have about 7-8 more months before the 'lease' period expires.

The problem is, I still do not know which choice I am going to make. Currently I am being pulled in two different directions internally. Almost like different personalities in me want different things. Whatever choice I make, part of me will be sad and/or unfulfilled. It is the ultimate dilemma.

 

[Científico]

Rough patch with my girl right now. Looking back at my last post in early May, it's very relevant. We are at a crossroads and I'm not entirely sure the relationship will survive.

If we end up breaking up, first thing I'm going to do is heading back down to Mexico and reconnecting with old lovers. And finding new ones. Clearly the best way to reset.

We will see if it comes to that.

 

[Científico]

Still here.

I think it's important in life never to stop growing and learning and self improving. Otherwise, what reason does a man have to live?

I recently made another career transition because the old place didn't work out due to problems I had with the management, and I declined a few safe options to go into a place where it is higher risk. But higher reward. The next year or two will involve some major hustling to build this business. But the payout could be great.

When it comes to sex and dating, the self discovery, learning, and adjusting continues. Still managing this open relationship with my girl. Unclear at this point where it's going to go really. She loves me and I love her, we are still learning a lot about each other. There are dynamics I don't even want to go into in this journal.

What's important to go into here is I am leaning more into dating other women, and went on several dates this weekend.

The one on Friday was most interesting - met this girl at a dancing event the week prior and she was looking hot in a red bodysuit. She chose me because I fit into the 'dancing guy' archetype she desires, and even though my pickup was clumsy due to my rustiness, she cut me some slack, was very engaged in the texting then went out on the date. Wasn't able to pull her despite some good sex talk (and perhaps due to areas where I could have thrown in more sex banter and less seriousness, I need to work on this). Bottom line though, she is mainly looking for a guy who dances to invest in her, and I'm not even sure at this point I can be that guy for her.

Date last night was a dud, low quality from a dating app.

Main problem right now is I need to be better screening for DTF girls in my process before they even come out on the date. Looking for better ways to do that. If this means I go on less dates, so be it - every date has a cost in terms of money and alcohol consumed, which I need to avoid if they aren't productive.

It may be close to that time to abandon this old journal and start a new one once I am really confident I will be updating more regularly. Not there yet, though.