coffee and then shopping around?

[shinshteru]

So I get this girls number and then the next day I text her for coffee. During the conversation I text her to meet me at this coffee place
she then responds what about this place instead because there is more things to shop around for
I agree and then tell her the time and place to meet
Now my questions are.....
1. Does this sound like a coffee date for a friend or not to you?
2. Since she wants to go shopping around after coffee does this sound "like the sad tale of the shopping guy"?
3. Should I just tell her that I am busy after our coffee or just reschedule at another time at another coffee place without the shopping around?

 

[Inbocca]

1) It's hard to tell without knowing the mood of the conversation and what was said.
2) Shopping Guy was someone who Chase's girlfriend was keeping around as an orbiter because he was willing to accept his role as her Shopping Guy - her guy friend who would do anything to make her happy. If you refuse to chase, you run no risk of becoming Shopping Guy. Shopping isn't generally good for a date, though, unless you're good at leading and avoiding behaviors like carrying her bags or purse or helping her choose outfits and shit.
3) Honestly, the shopping part wasn't the biggest red flag here. You chose the venue, she suggested an alternative, you complied. There's an article on this subject but for the life of me I can't find it (someone help me out). When this happens, you're letting her call the shots and showing weakness in your frame. If she ever suggests another venue, usually you want to a) insist on the venue you chose by negating her objections ("It would be more fun if we went here", "there's always time for shopping some other time", etc.) or b) suggesting a different different venue. B is more of a compromise, but you're still choosing where you go. A is more bold but you gotta do it right.

In your shoes, I would advise choosing a different venue again. You definitely don't want to end up being the guy carrying her bags while you go shopping.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey,

I would have tried to reach to a compromise on the place instead of accepting her terms without conditions - like inbocca said.

Now, given that you already accepted, you should go to the date, but when coffee is finished, politely excuse yourself and leave. Don't go shopping with her, that's what friends do. She will probably ask you to come, be ready to politely decline.

Then schedule another date. Why not asking her if she's available later on in the evening?

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[shinshteru]

Thanks for the info guys. I am looking at the text conversation and I am now kicking myself that I complied. I will go to the coffee date and after coffee be extremely bold say my excuse, tell her I'll talk to you later and walk away. If I lose her to this so be it! Other fish in the sea.