Curiosity Killed The Cat 2.0

[readjusting]

1/4:
I looked at her.
She looked at me.
I smiled.
She smiled.
I complimented her.
She thanked me and went away.

2/4;
At the bus stop.
She was looking at me.
Maybe good.
I compliment
She was skeptical
I was hesitated.
Either I could sit down. But I wasn't sure if she was interested.
Asking for permission wasn't that good either.
So, what to do?
Repartee. Saying something funny.

3/4:
On the way home.
I ran a bit to her.
She was skeptical.
I complimented.
She smiled.
"I'm not student, by the way."
"Professor?"
"No," She laughed.
Repartee was good.
Also my position was quite good.
Introduction.
She had to go.

4/4
She looked at me
Might be good
I complimented
She was back to her phone.
Wrong read

 

[readjusting]

Lunch.
I complimented her.
Normal reaction.
Introduction.
"You eat healthy. Good."
I couldn't think of a better repartee.
"What're you here for?" She asked.
"Tourist. How about you?"
It was a lie. But I wanted to avoid the job topic.
"I worked nearby." She said
I chatted with her a bit.
This girl had monotone and fast voice.
I was nervous.
This was bad.
She worked at a tech company, so I should expect some form of monotone voice.
Closing failed.

 

[readjusting]

At the bus stop.
This girl walted in front of me.
Could be good.
I complimented her.
She smiled.
Body still faced me, so she was interested.
Introduction.
Repartee wasn't that good.
We chatted a bit.
She led the conversation most of the time.
I assumed this was bad. But that might be a wrong assumption.
It was okay to have girls led the conversation.
Her bus came.
She went away.

 

[readjusting]

Met this girl at the dining hall.
I complemented her.
Good reaction.
I asked if I could sit there.
Then I sat opposite of her.
"How are you?" She asked.
What a strange way to start the conversation.
Regardless, I made up a lot of things about myself. I just went there, new to town, because my older brother studied there.
Flow of the conversation was also good.
She talked a lot.
I redirected the conversation to me, her, and the environment around us.
She tended to talk in general knowledge, and I redirected it.
For example, she talked about a story about the disappearing plane. I commented:
"Lucky that wasn't my plane"
Or when she talked about Phoenix, Arizona, I asked: "You've been there?"
Or when she talked about jazz music, and they played it in restaurant, I commented: "This restaurant?"
Also, I talked in emotional term, like, "...and people goes crazy," "...for the thrill," because that was good seduction.
Also I added the pause for sexual tension.
She asked me, "You're here for only 3 months right?"
I should have said yes.
Because that was the code word for "Can I have sex with you without anyone ever knows about it?"
I reward/withdraw attention with body language. Usually I watched her body language to calibrate.
The close wasn't that important.
I just said we should grabed a coffee sometimes, and she took out her phone, I put my phone in.
If I was executing well, she would contact me.

 

[readjusting]

At the bus stop
She wasn't attractive, so indirect was a better choice.
She smiled, but she didn't comply.

As of now, I've quit video game and porn more than 1 month.
So probably I should quit something else.
Because when I remove something, I free up my time and attention, to solve problems, to try harder, to fill in good habits that will increase my value.
Let's try quit fantasizing.
It's bad because it's distracting and it prevents me from connecting with other human beings.
But it might be good.
I don't know.
Test it for a week and see what will happen.

 

[readjusting]

One thing I noticed when I went out with girls. As friends.
They got hit on.
But if the pickup guy was decent, I would be powerless to stop him.
Same thing applied to me when approaching mixed group.

 

[readjusting]

Met this girl at the dining hall.
She sat alone at the elevated table in the center.
She wanted to be approached.
I passed by, saying “Hey, you’re…beautiful.”
She laughed uncontrollably.
“Does your friend dare you?,” she asked.
“You’re my new friend,” I said.
“What’s your name?”
“_____. You?”
“_____.”
“Nice to meet you”.
“Are you interning at _____?”
She knew cold reading.
“How do you know?”
“Two-thirds of people around here work at _____?”
“Yeah. What about you?”
We talked for a while. Mostly she talked about herself.
She was interning at a law firm.
She was Irish.
Playing Irish football as a hobby.
Living at a small town in childhood.
I didn’t deduce much about her personality.
Some light touching, but not much.
After 20 minutes, I closed.
Not exactly as closing, as it spreading out a bit.
“Here it have nice places to go hiking,” she said.
“We should go hiking together sometimes,” I said.
“Ah, no, I’m busy.”
After a close she went silent. At that point I realized, she expected me to persist.
At this level of beauty, being confident, non-needy, and persistent, is expected.
I found out a while ago, with beautiful girls, having zero approach anxiety is the bare minimum. Confident voice, expected. Persisting in close, expected.
As long as she doesn’t leave, she expects me to persist.
In close, I mixed between closing (tension), and making her laugh (release).
For example,
“How about your number?” I asked.
“Well, I don’t have a SIM.”
Blatant lie, I knew.
“Email?”
“I only have my company’s email.”
“I have company email too. I can send you from my company email”
And she laughed.
After a while, she said, timidly:
“I don’t know you,” she said
“We should know each other better,” I said
“You know, this situation is odd. Like you’re just walking up here and I don’t really know you”
“Look at the table over there. Is it odd?”
“I don’t want to look”
Then a friend came to me. I greeted him, then I went back to her.
“I know it. Your friend dares you to do this.”
“No no no, you’re my friend.”
I should have knew earlier. This is attainability objection. It depends on the voice tone.
Usually if I meet with this kind of objection, really dial back, get to know her more, and close again.

 

[readjusting]

Approach 4 girls, all failed.

One notable example was when I approaching 2 girls.
One girl turned away from me, so I went for the other.
The uninterested girl immediately threw tests.
I hadn't anticipated that, so I failed.
I was thrilled.
Because if I pass the cock block test, the other girl would feel good.

 

[readjusting]

This is problematic.
I admit that I have made some impressive gain last month.
Mostly I approached beautiful girls.
With a difficult tech job, and I using the workplace as a social circle.
At the same time doing freelance.
Building a service to help people.
Making a video game to sell.
While fighting the harassment charge.
Gym was halted because of a surgery. So it had to be stopped in 2 months.
Meanwhile I trained my voice.
Quit both video game and porn.

But.
I'm still inefficient.
Results are little. Although I admit that it will take a quite some time before I can see result. Fine.
Mainly because I still engage in distraction.
Video game and porn are out. But there's many other little thing that kills my time:
- Surfing the web when I should get more important thing done
- Visiting forums too much (I have several forums account) => keyboard jockeying, not getting shit done.
- Accidentally opening Facebook while registering for a site, and seeing a few messages. I installed the app to block unseen because I tell everyone I don't have Facebook, while in truth I have.
- Looking at email too often
Go to sleep is okay. Because I need the sleep.
But other things.
Little things.
Is killing my time.
Because:
- The most valuable tasks are difficult
- The most valuable problems are difficult to solve
Thus, the most important habit: Use Solution instead of Distraction
So this month I'll focus completely on getting this habit.
More difficult to enforce than quitting video game and porn.
But it must be done.

 

[readjusting]

I met her on the bus to work.
Average looking, so indirect was a better choice.
"Morning," I said.
This opener was good, because that assumed rapport.
"Hi, morning," she said.
Small chat.
I asked what she did in free time.
"I sleep a lot"
She didn't open up yet. Quite a reserved personality.
So I opened up first. I told her a few of my hobby.
Then she opened up.
Her hobby was typical. So she was a conformist.
She was typical. Tech job, okay childhood.
She leaned on me, so it was good.
I was silent a lot, creating some tension. At some point she stopped talking, eating her food, then after a while resuming talking to me.
Should be easy to close.
At some point I felt like I should close, but I waited until the bus came to her stop. Big mistake, because that made her more scarce.
I should close earlier.

 

[readjusting]

I met her at the cafeteria.
I had a theory, called “cafeteria psychology.”
Girls who sat at the center were more open. Girls who sat at the corner were less interested in meeting people.
Why?
When you don’t want to meet new people, you sit at the corner.
When you want attention, you sit at the center.

“Hey, you’re cute,” I said.
“Oh, thank you.”
“Can I sit here?”
“Sure”
“You’re eating very healthy,” I pointed to the food.
“Thank you.”
Initially chatting wasn’t good. She was on her phone, so she was in the technology world.
So I had to pull her out first.

I didn’t know a step-by-step method, but long story short, she put her phone down.

That was when the connection started.

She was very talkative.
One mistake I did was I interrupt her midway, like:
“…and you’re studying Computer Science, you must be very smart, and…”
“I’m smart, obviously,” I said.
Although “agree and amplify” was a good tactic, I was overly abusing it. This situation I should just listen.
“Oh, yeah,” she said.
Then she went silent.
This was reward/punishment tactic.
So I went silent too.

After a while, she resumed talking.

Also, at some point she said she wanted to go to graduate school. She asked if I would go to graduate school.
“No, I wouldn’t,” I said.
And she went into a long talk about why I should go to graduate school.
This was the “debate problem.”
Debating with her wasn’t conductive to seduction.
However, just agreeing with her would make me look spineless.
I didn’t remember exactly how I should deal with it. But a simple “I see your point of view” did the job.
Then I changed the conversation.

She talked a lot, but not too personal. So I should get deep.
“You seems to know a lot,” I said.
“Oh, thank you.”
A bit of silent.
“You know everything around here”
“I’m actually don’t know that much. My friend knows a lot. He knows which class to take, which professor is good and bad,… He tells me everything”
I thought: “And you’re telling me everything.”
But I keep my thought to myself.
No need to botch the seduction.
“…so I’m just at the starting point,” she concluded.
“Pretty good,” I said.

She was a big fitness fan. All her hobbies were sport and working out.
Relating with her a bit.

Then close.
“We should grab a coffee sometimes,” I said
“Someday”
“I’m free this weekend. You?”
“I’m free, too”
“Let’s grab a coffee.”
“What’s your Facebook?”
Yeah, getting those Facebook close a lot these days.
That's a problem. Maybe it's fundamental problem, mid-game seduction problem, closing problem.
But at this point I don't know.

 

[readjusting]

On the bus.
I sat next to a girl.
"Morning," I said.
She mumbled something, then she turned away.
What is a principle of good experience?
Do girls like guys who chased all over them and being needy?
No, I don't think so. Because every guy can do that. That's the easy move.
The difficult move, is to chatting up another girl. Because I don't want that another girl missing out.
I was focused inwardly , yet relaxing outwardly.
I watched the body language.
If a girl moved around, looking, usually the need was there.
A Chinese girl was standing near the front.
I went up to her,
"Another seat over there," I said.
"Oh, hi. When are you leaving?" She responded.
She had a badge. That was my coworker.
I assumed rapport real quick.
"9. You're also leaving at 9?"
"Yeah. Where do you live?" She asked.
Logistics. I should have knowned sooner.
So we were chatting. I asked about her hobby and work.
Some sexual tension was there, our hands accidentally touched sometimes.
I used some we-vs-the-world:
"My roommates leave really early. Like 8." She said.
"We're bad interns."
Some laugh.
But not enough to close. So I left it there.

 

[readjusting]

In the grocery store.
I approached 4 girls, all failed. What was the problem?
The girl with the unhealthy food, vibe was fairly good despite a bad opener, but I let her go.
The girl in line, I persisted well, and she looked interested, but I let her go to the cashier.

Don't let her go.
Especially if the vibe is good.