Curwen in the streets

[Curwen]

Very inspiring man. I had always wondered how you can do stopping sets without going the direct route. I'm so happy to see you stopped someone and just went into a casual Convo like she's a friend. That's exactly the kind of inspiration I was looking for.

Yes!! It seems to set the best tone for the interaction. Direct openers in my experience (and as many people here have many times pointed out) can create a lot of some sort of tension or expectation or something.

However, sometimes I don’t come up with anything. In that case, I’ll do a direct compliment.

*

I always have a short list of essentials that I keep in mind when going out. Is has to be short, because, you know, the chaos and adrenaline Today I changed the list a little bit. I can already stop people, so now my list look like this:

-just get one approach in quickly, they’re cute!
-situational / direct (+impro)
-stare, non-validate
-instant / same night

The second line means this: make a situational opener (I try to make one about her, like I did in the two approaches I described from today). BUT, if there’s a dead silence in my brain, then I say something direct, and after improvise something. I’m pretty good at that… preferably I improvise something that makes the direct opener a bit of a push-pull. I DON’T KNOW if this is the best way, but this is what I’m doing now, since it seems to intrigue the lovely girls.

EDIT tiny mistake

 

[bgwh]

Yes!! It seems to set the best tone for the interaction. Direct openers in my experience (and as many people here have many times pointed out) can create a lot of some sort of tension or expectation or something.

However, sometimes I don’t come up with anything. In that case, I’ll do a direct compliment.

*

I always have a short list of essentials that I keep in mind when going out. Is has to be short, because, you know, the chaos and adrenaline Today I changed the list a little bit. I can already stop people, so now my list look like this:

-just get one approach in quickly, they’re cute!
-situational / direct (+impro)
-stare, non-validate
-instant / same night

The second line means this: make a situational opener (I try to make one about her, like I did in the two approaches I described from today). BUT, if there’s a dead silence in my brain, then I say something direct, and after improvise something. I’m pretty good at that… preferably I improvise something that makes the direct opener a bit of a push-pull. I DON’T KNOW if this is the best way, but this is what I’m doing now, since it seems to intrigue the lovely girls.

EDIT tiny mistake

What are the last 2 lines about?

Btw, yes a system like this makes perfect sense. I made one this morning as well. I also figured out I have to fallback to a "direct". But also categories of things to practice.

I definetely have to try the stop a moving set and do situational like you did. That goes on the list.

*My direct is social-circle/promoter direct, not romantic direct, but still meets the same logic

 

[bgwh]

On another note, as you said you only see 2 girls to approach every 2 hours. Is this because you're being selective?

For example where I live I could easily open 20-30 students per 2 hours, but it's just for volume. If i was more selective to age, I'd only open 25-29yo, but I see like 1-3 of these per 3 hour outing.

 

[Curwen]

What are the last 2 lines about?

The third line tells me what to do. Stare at the girl a lot. Don't validate her too much (because I THINK one problem has been giving too much validation. I'm not sure about this, but this is what I'm trying now. Today it worked well).

The fourth line means I will first figure out if she can go for an instant date. If not, the secondary objective is a date the same night. If not, I'll take her number.

What's in your system? Do have a similar list, or...?

On another note, as you said you only see 2 girls to approach every 2 hours. Is this because you're being selective?

That's not entirely correct. I see more girls than that. It's a combination:
- I live in city of 200,000 ppl approximately. Sometimes there just isn't so many attractive people out
- I'm a pussy. I probably just skip a lot of opportunities
- Also, I struggle with this: if there's something exceptional about a girl, like tattoos or crystal necklaces or something, I WANT to approach and it goes better. If there's nothing like that, and she's only what I call technically hot, and I approach anyway, everything is extra difficult. I just don't get fired up. Some other journal-guys have talked about this too
- Because I'm not working at the moment I have a lot of time, so I haven't pushed myself too hard. I started just a few weeks ago, so I decided to be kind to myself and go loosely like this to begin with

I will go into a harder work ethic at some point, maybe soon. I will be less selective and hopefully not such a huge pussy. I could probably condense 3-5 approaches into one hour.

 

[bgwh]

The third line tells me what to do. Stare at the girl a lot. Don't validate her too much (because I THINK one problem has been giving too much validation. I'm not sure about this, but this is what I'm trying now. Today it worked well).

The fourth line means I will first figure out if she can go for an instant date. If not, the secondary objective is a date the same night. If not, I'll take her number.

What's in your system? Do have a similar list, or...?


That's not entirely correct. I see more girls than that. It's a combination:
- I live in city of 200,000 ppl approximately. Sometimes there just isn't so many attractive people out
- I'm a pussy. I probably just skip a lot of opportunities
- Also, I struggle with this: if there's something exceptional about a girl, like tattoos or crystal necklaces or something, I WANT to approach and it goes better. If there's nothing like that, and she's only what I call technically hot, and I approach anyway, everything is extra difficult. I just don't get fired up. Some other journal-guys have talked about this too
- Because I'm not working at the moment I have a lot of time, so I haven't pushed myself too hard. I started just a few weeks ago, so I decided to be kind to myself and go loosely like this to begin with

I will go into a harder work ethic at some point, maybe soon. I will be less selective and hopefully not such a huge pussy. I could probably condense 3-5 approaches into one hour.

That actually makes perfect sense. I wish I had this mindset years ago. I would have mastered cold approach years ago. It's the best mindset. I know me and friends always failed for years because we pushed too hard. Gentle and gradual is the way to go.


As for my system

I am probably going to note it down some day. It's mostly about context and transitions. I figured out that you can transition out of anything into anything.

My game model

- I am approaching people with the goal of networking, introducing them into my events and social stuff. The goal here is exchange Instagrams.

- However, if one seems especially cool or showing a lot of interest, I might transition to pickup mode, like sexual eye contact, try to instadate. At this point it becomes like your system.

Same for opening: Different goals (like situational or improv) for different contexts, and then fallbacks if I can't think of anything.

 

[Curwen]

Had a date today. I have no idea if I screwed up or if it was all screwed up from the start

Field report

EDIT spelling

 

[Curwen]

Ok this is going to be my most boring post so far… just talking about what’s happening in my head

I went out yesterday and today. Approached six women in total. The interactions were entirely uninteresting, basically none of them wanted to stay longer than a minute. Sooo after having pretty good momentum going, something has changed. My mood in general has been bad as well, I noticed today that I was running a lot of imaginary arguments in my head. Shocking.

These two days I felt very little approach anxiety. I also didn’t REALLY want to talk to the girls I approached, except one. I didn’t approach properly, just opened and sort of waited. Some kind of apathy has taken me, but I have not yet been able to understand it. Maybe I’ve become complacent somehow, even if I haven’t any proper success yet.

I once watched a video of some daygame guy go up to a father-daughter set. It went great. The reason was that he just radiated warmth and benevolence. I’m the opposite of that spirit right now.

I’m still confident in this practice. I know the tide will turn.

NICOTINE

They sell a certain nicotine product here. They are little bags you put under your lip. They come in round cases of maybe 20 bags. I am addicted to them. I’m probably using them to escape a deep-seated discomfort. I started after my breakup in December and have decided to quit many times this year. I have used years ago when I was depressed.

They seem to affect people differently. For me, it’s bad. I get very lethargic. I lie down on the couch and take one. It feels good. After it’s spent, nothing is easier than saying, just one more. An hour or two might pass, after which I get up to do something. I feel sluggish and I don’t want to do anything. I lose about $80/month.

I do it most mornings and evenings. It fucks up my sleep. The dopamine keeps me awake, and it’s hard to fall asleep, so I postpone going to bed. And when I do this, I do not feel rested the next morning. Getting up is always unpleasant, even if I keep a regular wake-up time. I know all about how important sleep is for physical and mental well-being. I’m a sleep nerd, but still I do this. So:

I’ve always loved women
> I must experience becoming a great seducer again
> I have to deal with my demons and be able to regulate my mood
> any way of life involving this addiction is unsustainable

I already know, but have perhaps forgotten in the last week, that my MOOD is the number one thing that determines whether I can create magic with a girl or not.

So, starting tomorrow, I will no longer use it. I am at loss for words how grateful and humbled I am to have found pickup and THIS COMMUNITY in particular, so saying it here may be what I need to find it in me to quit.

*

Oh yes! The most important thing! My plan for tomorrow.

- Go out. Do some warm-ups!
- Approach one girl. Just get that one over with!
- Approach method: slow, big, open, smile, hi!
- Since I’ve been apathetic, go back to being flamboyant and intrusive!

 

[gameboy]

I'm feeling apathy (with regards to approaching) too these days. At least you did some approaches anyway! Well done!

I think after going out to approach for so many days in a row, one just needs some rest for a few days to recharge the batteries.

 

[bgwh]

Ok this is going to be my most boring post so far… just talking about what’s happening in my head

I went out yesterday and today. Approached six women in total. The interactions were entirely uninteresting, basically none of them wanted to stay longer than a minute. Sooo after having pretty good momentum going, something has changed. My mood in general has been bad as well, I noticed today that I was running a lot of imaginary arguments in my head. Shocking.

These two days I felt very little approach anxiety. I also didn’t REALLY want to talk to the girls I approached, except one. I didn’t approach properly, just opened and sort of waited. Some kind of apathy has taken me, but I have not yet been able to understand it. Maybe I’ve become complacent somehow, even if I haven’t any proper success yet.

I once watched a video of some daygame guy go up to a father-daughter set. It went great. The reason was that he just radiated warmth and benevolence. I’m the opposite of that spirit right now.

I’m still confident in this practice. I know the tide will turn.

NICOTINE

They sell a certain nicotine product here. They are little bags you put under your lip. They come in round cases of maybe 20 bags. I am addicted to them. I’m probably using them to escape a deep-seated discomfort. I started after my breakup in December and have decided to quit many times this year. I have used years ago when I was depressed.

They seem to affect people differently. For me, it’s bad. I get very lethargic. I lie down on the couch and take one. It feels good. After it’s spent, nothing is easier than saying, just one more. An hour or two might pass, after which I get up to do something. I feel sluggish and I don’t want to do anything. I lose about $80/month.

I do it most mornings and evenings. It fucks up my sleep. The dopamine keeps me awake, and it’s hard to fall asleep, so I postpone going to bed. And when I do this, I do not feel rested the next morning. Getting up is always unpleasant, even if I keep a regular wake-up time. I know all about how important sleep is for physical and mental well-being. I’m a sleep nerd, but still I do this. So:

I’ve always loved women
> I must experience becoming a great seducer again
> I have to deal with my demons and be able to regulate my mood
> any way of life involving this addiction is unsustainable

I already know, but have perhaps forgotten in the last week, that my MOOD is the number one thing that determines whether I can create magic with a girl or not.

So, starting tomorrow, I will no longer use it. I am at loss for words how grateful and humbled I am to have found pickup and THIS COMMUNITY in particular, so saying it here may be what I need to find it in me to quit.

*

Oh yes! The most important thing! My plan for tomorrow.

- Go out. Do some warm-ups!
- Approach one girl. Just get that one over with!
- Approach method: slow, big, open, smile, hi!
- Since I’ve been apathetic, go back to being flamboyant and intrusive!

I think realization posts are just as important as FRs. Some of the learning comes when we're at home and processing and realizing things about the process in general.

On that note I have a question about the smiling. Do you smile when you're about to approach and say something or from afar?

I noticed I do worse when I focus on smiling, like if I smile from afar, they get defensive or freaked out or something, not even sure. But if I don't smile it goes great. Not sure if I don't smile or it's subtle.

 

[Curwen]

Thanks guys!

On that note I have a question about the smiling. Do you smile when you're about to approach and say something or from afar?

Hmm, I haven't thought about this.

When I approach, I typically walk slowly towards her and start getting her attention with the first "hi", and usually also by waving my hand, when the distance is MAYBE 3-4 meters. I don't know, it's intuitive for me. I smile during all of that (a lot or a little, intuitively). When we both come to a standstill, the smile probably fades somewhat, since it's time to talk.

If there's been some eye contact before this... I think I adapt it, but I can't explain how, since it's rare in the street and that possible adaptation too is intuitive.

 

[Curwen]

WEDNESDAY 7.8.2024

Still felt the apathy today. Did some chores. Read Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning. Had a pretty hard session in the gym.

I went out to have dinner. After eating, I stood outside the building, thinking… I could easily just walk into town right now. But, I decided to take the day off. It wasn’t an easy decision, I’m paranoid about not practicing.

So I got my bike and headed home. The summer evening was BEAUTIFUL. A dramatic display of clouds spread across the sky, softening the sunlight. I started to feel quite present. Like I’m actually me again, the unique and cool individual, not some outsider cold approach operator. Ok, definitely a good choice not to do a session today.

BUT MAYBE JUST ONE…
I saw a girl walking ahead of me. Her long t-shirt wrapped around her hips and described a swinging roundness that hit deep in my programming. Ok, she is curvy. What else? As I came closer on my bicycle I saw that she had voluminous, black hair in a ponytail. Wow. But wait. There are grey streaks in her hair. Hmm. If she is older, but has that body, I might still be interested.

I rolled past her and saw her profile. She was young. Her skin was not white, but just a little… I don’t know, brown?

I came to an intersection. I turned towards the grocery store, but looked back. I didn’t make any decisions, since I wanted to give myself a break, just followed my instincts. Well, my instincts made me turn around, and I cycled to a point where I would meet her.

I came in pretty fast, perpendicular to her path.

“Hey! Hi! Hello!”
It took her a while to react and get her earbuds out. When she did, she had kind of passed me already. I just stood my ground and let her be drawn in. My bicycle was now awkwardly blocking the sidewalk and bicycle lane. Oh well, I’m doing God’s work here, so people will have to adapt.

“Hey I know this is pretty unusual… I was going to the store” I waved in the direction, “but then I saw you. You have really exotic features.”
“Oh!” Surprised
“Yeah, I was already on the other side of the… haha… but yeah, I decided to come here and say hi”
“Ooh, I thought you were lost or something, hahaha”
“No, no, I live just over there, I know exactly where I am… do you live around here?”

The whole opening was all just authentic communication. The energy was high, since I had just appeared from nowhere and rode up on the sidewalk very close to her. There was some traffic and the interaction never settled down properly… it did settle down a little, where I then looked her deep in the eyes and made some pauses in the conversation, to, you know, create that magic.

She is from a central Asian country, which I would never have guessed. She speaks fluent local language. She goes to the gym, dances, is going out of town tonight to a family thing.

I get to use my “I know, it sounds sexy” -line when she asks what I do for work.

We talk for maybe 8 minutes. During this, I first remove my helmet to create a more relaxed situation. After I while I step off my bicycle and put it against a fence. I’m free from it now and it’s easier to stay engaged in the conversation. As I got off, I threw in a time constraint. I felt like the manouver needed some sort of distraction. Pretty happy with how I did this.

She’s curious about my shoes, they are barefoot shoes. She doesn’t know anything about it. I explain the basics and why they are the superior, healthier alternative. She lifts her foot and says something about her shoes. I sort of steamroll my frame of being an expert all over her and her deficient footwear. It’s satisfying and IF I meet her again, I will remember how it felt, so I can steamroll with other frames.

I forgot to qualify, as usual. I should have taken time to allow it to settle down a bit. We exchanged numbers. But in general I’m pretty happy with how it went, since I was totally apathetic the last days.

 

[Curwen]

All right… I have to take a break from this

I have been going out and approaching. But it’s nearly impossible to get anyone to even have a conversation with me. I’m radiating something bad. I also find myself just feeling annoyed a lot of the time and unwilling to focus on anything else than pickup. Yesterday friends came over, we did sauna and had some wine. Even then I couldn’t really let go.

My ego really wants me to complain about how difficult and unfair everything is. I feel the need to explain the injustice of my situation. And here’s the beauty of writing this journal! I just wrote out all those things, and then I saw how childish and unhelpful it is to focus on that.

I hope I can share some value here soon. I love writing about my outings and I know some of you have found my posts inspiring. But now, I need to slink back into the shadows to lick my wounds. Next week I’ll be out of town, doing some small renovations and enjoying nature.

 

[bgwh]

All right… I have to take a break from this

I have been going out and approaching. But it’s nearly impossible to get anyone to even have a conversation with me. I’m radiating something bad. I also find myself just feeling annoyed a lot of the time and unwilling to focus on anything else than pickup. Yesterday friends came over, we did sauna and had some wine. Even then I couldn’t really let go.

My ego really wants me to complain about how difficult and unfair everything is. I feel the need to explain the injustice of my situation. And here’s the beauty of writing this journal! I just wrote out all those things, and then I saw how childish and unhelpful it is to focus on that.

I hope I can share some value here soon. I love writing about my outings and I know some of you have found my posts inspiring. But now, I need to slink back into the shadows to lick my wounds. Next week I’ll be out of town, doing some small renovations and enjoying nature.

Is this regardless of opening style? Or just from direct? I.e. are you doing also situational, improv etc?

Also is there any correlation to the type of girl? Is this the same if she's a "meh she'll do" girl or a "wow I have to talk to her" stunner?

 

[AspiringStoic]

All right… I have to take a break from this

I have been going out and approaching. But it’s nearly impossible to get anyone to even have a conversation with me. I’m radiating something bad. I also find myself just feeling annoyed a lot of the time and unwilling to focus on anything else than pickup. Yesterday friends came over, we did sauna and had some wine. Even then I couldn’t really let go.

My ego really wants me to complain about how difficult and unfair everything is. I feel the need to explain the injustice of my situation. And here’s the beauty of writing this journal! I just wrote out all those things, and then I saw how childish and unhelpful it is to focus on that.

I hope I can share some value here soon. I love writing about my outings and I know some of you have found my posts inspiring. But now, I need to slink back into the shadows to lick my wounds. Next week I’ll be out of town, doing some small renovations and enjoying nature.

This happens when we become too focused on "taking".

What can I get from the girls I approach!? When we become too focused on our "Game". When every open becomes a failure because we did not get a particular reaction, a number, validation from her, a date etc.

Flip your thinking for a while. Focus on "giving". Go out and say today my job is to try to spread some cheer and positivity. Just like there are superheroes who protect their cities and fight crime, what if you were also a superhero?

Your mission being to compliment people and try making them smile without TAKING ANYTHING IN RETURN.

Go up to women just give them a compliment, smile, wish them a good day and walk away. No interaction, no asking for numbers, nothing. Just giving a compliment with a smile and walking away.

If you do this 10+ times and adopt this frame of mind, you will get back to that vibe that people love to be around. Its impossible to feel shitty after you just made 10+ people smile without wanting anything in return.

 

[Curwen]

Is this regardless of opening style? Or just from direct? I.e. are you doing also situational, improv etc?

Yeah, all of that stuff my friend.

This happens when we become too focused on "taking".

What can I get from the girls I approach!? When we become too focused on our "Game". When every open becomes a failure because we did not get a particular reaction, a number, validation from her, a date etc.

Flip your thinking for a while. Focus on "giving". Go out and say today my job is to try to spread some cheer and positivity. Just like there are superheroes who protect their cities and fight crime, what if you were also a superhero?

Your mission being to compliment people and try making them smile without TAKING ANYTHING IN RETURN.

Go up to women just give them a compliment, smile, wish them a good day and walk away. No interaction, no asking for numbers, nothing. Just giving a compliment with a smile and walking away.

If you do this 10+ times and adopt this frame of mind, you will get back to that vibe that people love to be around. Its impossible to feel shitty after you just made 10+ people smile without wanting anything in return.

Thank you mr Stoic for writing this. Yep, part of me is frustrated that the results aren't here already. When I started out I was like you described, just oozing good vibes all over the place. I'll get back to that, just need to take a break and reset. I'll keep your words in mind!

 

[Curwen]

I’m actually ”on a break” from this stuff, but a couple of things happened today. Nothing spectacular, but I’m a bit excited and I want to be diligent. I seem to have a resistance to writing things that don’t offer a lot of value. Anyway, I want to write and post this.

Went on a date. FR here.

*

I’m also excited because of another thing: earlier I was standing in line at a kiosk and a cute girl came in after me. I instantly threw out a situational opener. She bantered for one or two lines. Well, that didn’t go anywhere either, but the speed and precision of my execution sort of surprised me. AND this is where I want to be: able to suddenly open in my day-to-day life.

Tomorrow I leave town for five days. I think I’ll take a total break. Not read the forum. The place I go to has a population of 30-40 people and I have 2 construction projects, so perhaps my mind can rest a bit.

All my leads have dried up now. I feel a bit nervous about how it’s gonna be restarting after my trip. But it’s also freeing, the texting and uncertainty of getting her out seems to be stressful to me still.

 

[Curwen]

Ok, back in it after 3 weeks. I was on two trips out of town, which were great, and this week I’m just starting to dip my toes in again.

I definitely had a mini-burnout from going out almost every day and spending massive amounts of time reading the forum. I wasn’t going super hard in the field, but I was out a lot, and I got somehow completely consumed by the idea of practicing game. Had a bit of a relapse with nicotine as well, now I’ve been off it for this week.

*

Today I went out. Before I did, I made a decision to approach one woman. Just one. Just get that one over with!

When I stepped out, I felt anxious and incompetent. In the past, when coming back after a break, I would do a few days of just walking around, simulating approaching in my head. Now, I decided it was not time for that. I’d just stick to my decision. I knew I’d have to push back a little (not much) on the anxiety left by the mini-burnout.

APPROACH 1
A girl came out of a grocery store. She was short, nice figure, wore a skirt and sunglasses. Perfect timing, perfect trajectory, perfect everything.

I started to execute the stopping… waved my hand, made eye contact, said Hi!

My smile was missing. My voice was stifled. She slowed down. I mimicked pulling out earbuds. At first she didn’t. I kept making the gesture. I felt like an imposter. She did finally remove them… but I felt like I had no business being out here, doing this.

She still kept moving. I said some things… but there was neediness in my face and tonality. It wasn’t horrible, just not sexy at all. She said something like “good going man”.

Was I still too raw from the mini-burnout? No... I felt confident I would push through this in a few days, back to a proper baseline performance. I congratulated myself for doing one approach! And as usual, even though I had only decided to do one approach, I started to look for more girls to talk to.

APPROACH 2, KIND OF
I went to the library. I hesitated around one girl, "looks too young", "maybe chubby" (both not true). She went outside. I almost followed, but hesitated some more, and the moment was gone. I returned one book, borrowed another. Outside the library I saw a thin, blonde girl arriving with a book in her hand. I went down the stairs, approached her sideways. Just the normal stuff. Wave, eye contact, Hi… same thing again. My voice was weak. No smile. Needy face.

She went, didn’t even stop. I got a bit frustrated. I saw her, felt some desire, tried to approach her in a tactically sound manner. Why doesn’t it work anymore?? Is this going to be my life now?

I decided to try to work around the problem more, and push against it less. The two girls I tried to open were just good looking, but there was nothing interesting about them (I mean, immediately apparent). New strategy for coming days: as long as my head is like this, only approach girls who give me that positive, curious feeling.

APPROACH 3
Immediately I saw one coming down the street. She had long, black hair and a black dress. She was eating ice cream. I went up, waved, said hi. She slowed down, nearly to a stop. I told her she looks good, like a goth. She laughed a little, said she’s not a goth. She seemed to be floating away… but this time I felt genuine interest. I just planted my feet, relaxed my body and kept talking. She stopped. I introduced myself.

The conversation started flowing. I guessed her mother tongue correctly, based on her name. Then I correctly guessed what region she's from, based on an opinion she expressed. Excellent. She was quiet and reserved, but she stayed. There were moments of silence. Often she reinitiated. It was very low energy, but nice. She has a boyfriend. Anyway, we kept talking for maybe 10 minutes. She said it was very nice to talk to someone and that she has never been stopped like this in the street. I felt pretty good, this was a wholesome moment in the midst of dealing with the rejections and my messed up head.

We were headed the same way. We walked for about five minutes. I asked her if she really has a boyfriend of if she was just suspicious of me. Yes yes, together for 11 years, something something… ok will respect that of course. We parted ways on a very positive note.

*

I walked around for maybe half an hour more. I sort of tried one more approach, but it went like the first two. Later, on my way back, there were 2-3 excellent opportunities (nice looking girls and easy situations), but I felt exhausted and just skipped them. Next time, girls.

I think it’s fine. I had my mini-burnout, and almost three weeks off. The field is going to rough me up a bit, but with that, swift readaptation will happen.

Tomorrow I can’t go out. The day after I will. I will go out, get stupid and improvise.

*

Thought 1: I don’t want to think too much. But I do think this: the holy grail for me is still to get my approach instincts so sharp, that when I see those really interesting looking girls ANYWHERE (hardware store, pharmacy, library…), I can go up. I think I see the way ahead.

Thought 2: Today, as I was getting into something like a flow, I was no longer concerned about being known as the creep in the city center. Instead, I’ll either not register on anyone’s radar, or I might be known as that guy who is cool to talk to and who’s not afraid to make conversation.

Thought 3: I’m getting better at improvising and maybe even flirting. I recently had an idea I call “stupid game”. It’s NOT my invention, I know many people have talked about this exact thing… I just felt it in my bones: I need to get more stupid. I have awesome humor and flirting when I allow myself to be stupid.

Thought 4: While doing everything else, it would be super good to find that spirit I had earlier… just oozing good energy all over the person I’m talking to. I DO IT with cashiers and such… perhaps I could channel it into my cold approach as well!!

Thought 5: As long as I like the practice, I will feel enthusiastic about it. So I will let the practice guide me. And I will push on the points of anxiety, lightly at first, then harder where it's sustainable.

God damn it I love this stuff! I feel excellent now after going out and writing again.