Dance Floor Game Help(Am I too intimidating?)

[CaptainHenley]

Hola!

I have been trying to expose myself to nightgame more and more, and I am glad I am making improvements.

I have read Alek's articles, and I really think my eye contact and non-verbals are quite decent.

When I am in the club, I am dancing confidently, having fun.

Thing is, I find it extremely hard to make anything happen with girls.

As soon as I am looking at them, and our eyes meet, they swiftly, almost cartoon-like silly, turn their heads away or down. Like, 1 sec of mutual eye contact, and then an invisible hand slaps their face away. That happens literally with every girl, maybe one exception or something along those lines.

Sometimes I extend my hand like Alek suggest, for them to give it to me and I can spin them around. That actually worked on a girl on my last night out, and after a bit of sexual dancing, she waved she didnt want it no more(she was dancing with a guy, and I kind of "stole" her from him, and he was getting pretty upset, they also knew each other before hand)

So all that got me wondering, what if I am too intimidating?

I am 18, but people regularly think I am 25, even 28. I dont look old per say, but I have long curly hair, and very dark beard, which on top of my white skin provides an 24/7 shadow on my face, even if I go against the grain.
If I have a slight beard, people think I am even older. My face is also quite masculine, and I was thinking of cutting my hair, but then I think I will be even more "manly".

Think of John Hamm, in Don Draper, a lot of chaacteristics(besides my nose) are very much like his. I am being told that I realy have that masculine vintage look of old holywood stars.

I have been told that I have a very authoritative vibe and walk as well. I also dress better than most of the people my age, following Darius's advice.


The girls I am going for generally are my age, University students. I generally feel like there is a disconnect. Even in the morning, in classes etc. , I get the feeling that the dont accept me as one of their own, and they kind of look at me in slight awe.

I guess their face is like "What the hell is this older guy doing with us anyway"


Of course, that gets me a lot of attetion from older, often succesful and ambitious women(25+)

But I am not even remotely experienced to handle them, and as soon as they find out my actual age things go south.



Another thing I have noticed is, girls go out with their flatmates, and generally stay in that circle. They dont do much outside of it.

I saw guys who were shorter, uglier and with no game, making out with quite attractive girls. (the girls would lead them into it)

Even fat guys!

And then the girls would cut it off, go back to their friends, laugh and say something like "i am such a slut" and then be on their way.

And the thing is, I am dancing having fun! I tried both friendly eye contact and sexy-piercing (kind of default for me), and none worked!

People came up to me and said how much fun I was and up-lifting, and how confident, men and women alike.

But why the hell am I not getting results?



(posted originally on general)

 

[The Tool]

Let me ask these questions.

What style are the other men wearing that seem to have the most success while you are out at the club?
What attitude do the successful men have that seems to be getting them results?
What is the facial hair like of the men that seem to be getting the best results?

In my personal experience with college aged girls and women at clubs they like the "douchy tool/bro" look. And they also like it when one is cocky but funny/sarcastic.

Blend in to your environment. If what your currently doing is not working switch it up a bit.

If the women dont seem to like beards (which in my experience more women do not like beards then do) try going clean shaven.
(I might get some heat for this above comment. ALOT of Men with beards get EXTREMELY defensive about it in an almost childish way. Mainly due because some men have insecurities about their masculinity deep down and in their minds beards = masculinity and want to validate not only to themselves but to other people that "I am a man!!!" ok this isnt a psych lesson so ill continue on.

If you do not want to adapt and instead stick with your personal style then explore more so you can find your niche. Or change things up to see what you are comfortable with or what you can change that matches your personality.

 

[Richard]

If the women dont seem to like beards (which in my experience more women do not like beards then do) try going clean shaven.
(I might get some heat for this above comment. Men with beards get EXTREMELY defensive about it in an almost childish way)

 

[CaptainHenley]

Let me ask these questions.

What style are the other men wearing that seem to have the most success while you are out at the club?
What attitude do the successful men have that seems to be getting them results?
What is the facial hair like of the men that seem to be getting the best results?

In my personal experience with college aged girls and women at clubs they like the "douchy tool/bro" look. And they also like it when one is cocky but funny/sarcastic.

Blend in to your environment. If what your currently doing is not working switch it up a bit.

If the women dont seem to like beards (which in my experience more women do not like beards then do) try going clean shaven.
(I might get some heat for this above comment. ALOT of Men with beards get EXTREMELY defensive about it in an almost childish way. Mainly due because some men have insecurities about their masculinity deep down and in their minds beards = masculinity and want to validate not only to themselves but to other people that "I am a man!!!" ok this isnt a psych lesson so ill continue on.

If you do not want to adapt and instead stick with your personal style then explore more so you can find your niche. Or change things up to see what you are comfortable with or what you can change that matches your personality.

By very dark beard I meant the hair on my face, I actually am clean shaven everyday. Failed to communicate that in the first post.

I guess a bit more "swag" clothing instead of the rebellious bad boy look in terms of style...?

 

[The Tool]

By very dark beard I meant the hair on my face, I actually am clean shaven everyday. Failed to communicate that in the first post.

I meant hair on the face as well. Facial hair (at least in my opinion and experience) just doesn't do as well. Could be due to not only environmental but my own physical presence and character as well.

And yea man. The "frat" "Bro" "tool" style works wonders for myself and many other naturals that I know. Flatbrims, tight shirts, muscles, and surfer hair. Appearance for success.

 

[The Tool]

Facial hair makes you way sexier imo.

nah bro imma be in my 30's still rockin the clean shave and the classic "tool" look :*

 

[CaptainHenley]

Haha lads no thats not what I mean!

I am clean shaven, I just have a permanent shadow on my face, even if I go against the grain!

 

[Bboy100]

Your fundamentals aren't tight enough.

When you're on the dance floor, you're not really talking. You can't use verbal courtship, show off your personality, or communicate much of really...anything. Except for nonverbals. So basically, if you're not getting anywhere with girls at clubs, its because your presentation is still too weak.

Also, understand that rejection rates on dance floor are inherently high. Girls have more reference points of guys being too drunk, too creepy etc. on the dance floor more than anywhere else. So even if you're pretty smooth about how you approach them, you're still going to get blown off by default a lot of the time. A good chunk of girls will not even give guys on the dance floor a shot. I have a group of girlfriends who literally spend time discussing and creating strategies for how to nicely reject guys on the dance floor because they've had sooo many of the guys who try to hit on them that way are awkward or creepy.

Also, the fact that you really can't talk to girls on the dance floor is a HUGE handicap.

Tbh, I would scrap the dance floor entirely unless:

1. You just love to dance. And regardless of weather or not you get girls, you're gonna have fun out there (tbh, this should be your mentality regardless. But especially on the dance floor).
2. You're exceptionally good looking (sounds like you're not)
3. Your goals are only makeout sessions. You don't care if you get laid. Its super easy to makeout with girls on the dance floor. Easier than almost anywhere else. But getting past that becomes exponentially more difficult than anywhere else.

I went to reemphasize...rejection rates here are high. Regardless of how good you are, most the girls you engage on the dance floor will blow you off.