Definitely_not_a_gymrat journal

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

Hey guys, I decided to finally start a journal, gonna be documenting all my approaches here, hopefully anyone can point out any mistakes or sticking points.

I’ll start this off with an approach I made today. Was at my apartment gym, saw a decently cute girl but decided to open super indirect. Saw she was hitting legs, and said,

“Leg day is the best, right?”(with a bit of sarcasm).

I fully expected her to agree with me, and me tell her I’m kidding, but she disagreed. I then told her yea, I was just kidding, but thought that girls love leg days.

Went back to my workout, but then asked her to watch one of my sets of bicep curls, to see if my form was good(partly I wanted her checking me out working, partly I did need that form critique).

Thanked her, and finished my workout.

When I went to gather my things, she was right next to me, doing an exercise, while she was doing her exercise, I was taking a really long time to gather my things(was not deliberate, was clumsy from being tired at the end of the workout).

When she was done, I thanked her and proceeded to ask for her name. We traded names, I asked her how long she’s been in the gym, and if she was recording a video(phone angle looked like it). I spoke very slowly and deeply, and abruptly she said,

“See you around.”

I just said bye and went on my way. Definitely not my best approach, could have turned it around with a playful remark, but any other things I did wrong here? Couldn’t fully tease and qualify, since convo ended abruptly, and did not go for ask since I saw no smooth way to integrate it yet.

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

Hi guys, made an approach at the gym this morning, wanted to share it, I feel like there's a decent amount to unpack. Same writing as the FR, gonna add a bit more of how I'm feeling at the end, not sure this will do anything, but need to get it out. Mostly all my approaches are coming from the gym, coffeeshops, elevators, as well as local dining places. Most people are busy studying for finals, and with the semester almost over, there's less good parties to go to, I can't go to bars, not 21, and logistics to take girls on dates are worse. Anyways still deciding to practice where I can before my study abroad semester next semester.

Anyways saw a cute, tall girl at the gym, was taller than me. Saw her at the beginning of my workout, decided not to say anything, needed to focus on workout, and wanted to see if there was perhaps a cuter girl I could approach instead, since I wasn't 100% sold on this girl. Anyways, when I'm waiting for a piece of equipment, I see her at a nearby machine, so I decide to "wander around" a bit walking past her and them some more, then when I go back to my original point, I decide to comment on her shoes.

Spoiler: Approach & Conversation

Me: Hi, where did you get your shoes from?

Her: [Proceeds to explain where, tells me that she plays volleyball]

Me: I love them, [describe a bit more in detail].

At this point we go into a quick convo about the shoes, then I ask her for her name. We exchange names and I give a firm handclasp. In the past, girls would not always return my handclasp, or I would make it into a handshake, but I made sure to keep my hand steady, and give her hand a bit of a squeeze. I also held her hand a bit longer than normal.

We then proceed to talk more about her being a college volleyball player. She tells me that she and the team suck. I decide to throw in a tease, not to make her feel worse, but to encourage her. I told her I believe in her, that she's gonna be the MVP of her team next year, she just has to push a bit harder. I tell her that she better be the MVP or I'm gonna be disappointed. The tease got a very good reaction out of her, she was giggling a good amount.

She then abruptly tells me that it was nice to meet me. In the past, I would have just said the same, and walked with my dick in my hand(not literally). This time, I decide to throw in another tease, acting sarcastically offended, saying that I wasn't done talking with her, I still have to wait for my piece of equipment. She tells me that she has class soon, and a good amount left to go in her workout. I tell her to do her set, and we'll continue talking right after. I proceed to walk a bit away from her, and when she finishes her set, I wait a bit before re-engaging.

I then ask her how much free time she has as a student athlete, and what she does. She tells me that her schedule is actually chill, since she just finished the season. At this point, I'm leading up to the ask, but not exactly there yet. She proceeds to cut me off and says that if I'm hitting on her, she has a boyfriend.

I decide to have a bit of fun with the interaction, and said,

"Who says I'm hitting on you? I could just be trying to make conversation while I wait for my equipment(dude was still not done using it to be fair)."

Her: "I'm just saying."

Me: "Well, to be honest, I was gonna ask you for coffee or ice cream."(Only said this to try to be more upfront, interaction was already failed).

We then say bye to each other, and I continue my workout.

A couple of takeaways I had is that I'm definitely getting better at some aspects, but running into lots of girls who say they have a boyfriend. While some of them might actually have a bf, I know that I'm not that unlucky with my luck of the draw, and that I still need to improve my game. Also, the shoes line in the gym is undefeated for me so far, every girl has responded enthusiastically. I think complimenting girls on their outfits or something that they took time to do is a great opener, as long as it's sincere. Either that, or go indirect.

Any other things I can improve on that I'm not seeing? Maybe she did have a bf, but there's a chance she could have used that as a rebuff. In the case she used it to rebuff me, where can I improve to get less of those?

I feel like I'm improving rapidly, especially writing Field Reports, but at a certain point, I have to put it together and actually start getting dates. I have had a couple of almost dates in the past couple of months, but both eventually turned out to be flakes. Maybe I'm being to needy or too gamey, really frustrating to figure out the perfect balance, but I really want to figure out how to strike the perfect balance ASAP. Anyways this last blurb was a mini vent.

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

Another day, another approach and a few interactions, not gonna post an LR on it, just want to update the journal.

Made another gym approach today, use the shoe opener, girl was the least receptive I’ve seen. Basically talking to her for a bit, she asked me my name first, but convo got a bit awkward at one point, idk if she was into me or not. She never seemed too enthusiastic, then she said “nice to meet you.” I said the same, wasn’t feeling the energy, wasn’t teasing that much. Re engaged her with saying “wanted to catch up with my new friend a bit more” which worked she bought into the frame. Could tell convo was dragging on so I said I would let her get back to workout, but I know a good place to get food if she’s down. She said “I’m ok.” Didn’t give the ask in the smoothest way, but took my time, tbh idk if she was ever rlly interested.

Had a bunch of interactions with girls in my apartment building, short convos nothing more, I can make them laugh and get them interested, but I’m at the point where I’m not going for the ask unless there’s a huge vibe, I’m going back home in 2 days and studying abroad next semester, so logistics are screwed anyways.

Just wanted to update my journal, nothing rlly amazing coming from today, although girls in my apartment building are very receptive to at least short convo, would love to extend it past that, I am living in the same place next year so I have that opportunity.

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

Hey, another day, another update to the journal. No girls that I asked out, but had a few interactions and wanted to share the meaningful ones.

First story I’ll share is from my group project. 3 girls 2 guys, this was the final day we’re meeting up. I went to get snacks, and one of the girls says she’ll come with me. When we’re walking, she goes into a mini vent about the project, and says she ignored a group member when given feedback. I just gave a neutral understanding response. Idk if she sees me as a friend, or wants something more. Tbh I don’t really want anything more, just curious to hear the situation.

Second story is at the gym. Was drawn to a girl at the gym, idk why she wasn’t that cute or anything. Prolly cuz she was in a half naked gym outfit. Anyways ask her to watch my form for hack squats twice. In between we have short convo and she asks me for my name. Later in my workout, decided to re engage her more so to pass the time, made a bit of small talk and left her to be, wasn’t gonna ask her out. Main question from this story, how to re engage a girl smoothly? Past couple of times I’ve done it doesn’t seem to be the smoothest.

Third story was approaching a girl(her friend was a few feet away) asking about an issue with a website. This girl was super cute, but we were in a quiet study lounge, so I had to talk quietly. Actually opened it into a short few minute interaction about classes, threw in one or two teases, midway through the convo, her friend comes back and she’s marginally polite towards me, tbh I barely talked to the friend, couldn’t find common ground with her, only the one I wanted. Eventually I left them without going for the ask, no point since I’m leaving campus tmrw and not returning next semeter(study abroad) so logistics are fucked. Actually sucks since I feel like I’m meeting plenty of cute girls this past week, but not really pushing past convo for a meet up since there just doesn’t feel like any point.

Also, matched with a girl on hinge, said she knew one of my friends from one of my pictures. She’s playing coy and responding inconsistently but she still is responding back a fair bit. Only looking for a one time link, though assumed she was a “good girl” or at least normal. I told one of my friends about this girl, she’s apparently crazy with 20+ body count. Funny how these seemingly “normal girls” are actually wild af.

Anyway my main question, if anyone cares to answer, how to make a girl invested immediately, I’m able to hold a convo, but in a natural break, girl is likely to eject. How to make sure she still continues talking to me(in a day game scenario), obviously me leading the interaction better would help, but any other tips?

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

Ok quick update on the Hinge situation, she was j trolling around, my friend told me this. Shit rlly sucks, not like I wanted anything more than a one night stand, but no real reason to do this shit. Obviously there’s lot of great women out there, and I happened to match with a bad apple, but I can see why some men turn bitter. I’m not gonna turn bitter, most important thing is to build positive reference points, but idk this would cripple a bunch of men I feel like, girls like this r no good. Little mini vent, hopefully I can run into higher quality girls who don’t play these types of games, apps prolly not best way to meet them.

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

Another day, another update, I approached 3 girls at a bagel shop, didn’t want to ask, more so a practice rep to open a group of 3 girls smoothly and provide decent convo. Logistics to seduce girls nonexistent for me anyways, so wanted to do a practice rep and build social confidence.

Anyways while I was eating I saw the girl of 3 girls get their orders and sit down to eat it. Immediately, I wonder about the girl that’s wearing shorts, and how she walked outside wearing shorts, since it was freezing. Boom, I have my opener in my head. I go to throw away my napkins, and as I walk by the girls, I “happen to notice them” and ask, “Do you girls happen to live next door to [bagel shop]?” They looked at me weird, and said no with an extremely skeptical look. I then asked how the girl wearing shorts was able to go outside. Immediately, the mood shifted and the girls all lightened up, knowing why I was talking to them. Tbh, I just made a little light convo about the weather and made my exit, didn’t have much time to talk to the girls. The girl that was my type, sitting in the back, was not really responding, but I caught her blatantly playing with her hair. Possible sign of interest? Idk, but just wrote this to inspire others to approach more, and wanted to document a positive interaction, even if it didn’t go anywhere.

In the future, could I ask to sit with them, if they enjoy my company(these girls seemed to enjoy my presence)? Just wondering how to further play this situation, but the opener was a massive hit, and the entire group was receptive to me.

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

Hey guys, never fully gave a background & origin story on myself, so this will cover that. I'm also gonna get very personal, tell things that I really haven't told anyone before, since this is an anonymous account where I don't have to fear getting judged.

I'm in college, 5'8 Indian Male that has good short haircut and heavy thick stubble, carries good amount of lean muscle, been going to the gym for almost 2.5 years now, considering starting a fitness coaching account(besides the point). Throughout my life, I have been surrounded with girls, but never really knew how to interact with them in a seductive way. This continued all throughout high school, and COVID didn't change it.

The first time I consistently interacted with girls was my senior year of HS. I had female friends in one of my friend groups, and near the end of the year, I needed a prom date. I asked one of my friends, who was loosely affiliated with the group. After dodging me for a bit, she finally told me she was going with her ex-boyfriend. Wished her the best. After that, I was set up with another girl in the same friend group, who was a lot closer to the group. Have to emphasize both were as friends, which was my intention. Prom day comes around, she first forgets the boutonniere(or whatever girls are supposed to give to guys). First red flag, but I try to enjoy the day. Later find out that this girl, instead of spending time with me, ignores me completely, makes out with her ex on the dancefloor and goes into the bathroom with him. None of the people in that group cared to tell me, some of my other boys filled me in. Even though we were supposed to go as friends, this felt very disrespectful.

From that point on, and since university was approaching, I figured that I wanted an actual dating life, so I did a few cold approaches here and there, but didn't come away with much, didn't know about the seduction community at this time. Got a few makeouts at a party, but not much else. This was freshman year.

Come sophomore year, and I decide to suicide rush a fraternity. Didn't work. Decided to hone my game a bit, but was mostly stagnant. The next semester, I rushed again, and saw no results. At this point, I decided to learn cold approach, with the help of the seduction community. I went out to make approaches, mostly in the most dead part of campus since that is where I lived, and since there were not many parties for me to go to, I mostly stuck to daygame. First few approaches were extremely awkward, but I made sure that every time I stepped out anywhere, that I would make 1-2 approaches.

A huge problem developed around this time. Saw a girl on instagram, super cute, innocent looking type, and decided to give her a follow. She followed me back, and taking this as a huge sign of interest, I game planned on how to get her(even though I never met her). I would obsess over fantasies of us getting together(like @Chase did with his one special girl). I would consistently check up on her Instagram profile, check to see if she was checking my stories, when she did, I considered that a small sign of interest. Yes, I read all the one special girl articles. Although I had this new crush that I was fantasizing over, I worked on my cold approach and got better.

Summer comes around and I get an internship, commuting one day a week to the city where the internship is held. Every time I went to the city, decided to approach 3-4 girls there, and honed my game, used different gambits where necessary. Also decided to DM my one special girl replying to one of her stories, and she leaves me on seen. At first, I'm crushed, but somehow, my brain makes the logical conclusion that she only rejected me because of my shitty instagram profile, if I was in person I could have controlled the outcome much better, and had better odds. I do believe this, but still haven't met her in person.

Fall comes around and I decide to make a sudden switch to becoming a more social person, would chat up girls and guys everywhere I went. Continued to practice cold approach, with a heavy usage of indirect game. Also starting posting on the boards to get outside feedback on my approach, but on the whole I noticed girls were much more receptive to my approach, as long as I didn't say or do anything too weird.

Unfortunately my crush on the one special girl has not subsided to this day, started in March, it is now December. Whatever new thing I learn through looking at her instagram, it still does not deter me from the fact that she is a great girl(all in my head). I'm not even in a fraternity, and I just found out she got elected president of her sorority. It would be nice if I could at least meet her in person so her real life personality crushes the image I have of her in my head, unless she really is a great girl. Minimal signs of drinking, drugs and guys lead me to believe she seems like a good girl, and I guess the sweet smile she has on her pictures leads me to believe she is a nice person. She could totally be different from what I imagined, but I won't know that for a while, if at all. I know that this is not a question I should ask, but sorority presidents can date people who aren't in fraternities right? If they show a certain level of coolness.

I have tried to go out and approach in order to cure this one special girl syndrome, and I am still approaching girls when I see fit. Writing about this really helped get out this secret about the one special girl I have been hiding for months, anyways next month I head for a study abraod semester, and hopefully I can improve my seduction skills by a good margin to the point where come in the next year, I am able to get any type of girl I want(not one specific girl).

Anyways that's my background, origin, why I got into this forum, and my main struggles right now. Anyone who has any commentary on my problem, please feel free to comment, I'm open to any advice.

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

Hey guys, also made another gym approach today. Even though I am dealing with the one special girl problem, I still made an approach. Logistics were non existent, since this was the last day at my college gym and around that area, but did it to practice my approach.

Decided to use the shoe opener, she was actually very receptive. Near the beginning of the conversation, she mentions her dad works at a consulting firm. I decide to switch from seduction mode to platonic mode, in hoping that she can connect me to her dad. She enthusiastically agrees and we swap IG's. I actually stay in the convo for a very long time with her, she was very eager to talk. Till tried to tease, deep dive a bit and qualify her on things I related and liked about her. Definitely made her laugh, when I did not think I was being funny.

Also, I noticed that I am getting better at screening people in a non judgmental way. She told me that she has 10 tattoos, and she's been solo backpacking across Europe, which most likely means she is the promiscuous type. Did not change my demeanor, and even called her adventurous(qualifying her).

Just wanted to share another approach.

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

Day 2 since I finally wrote about my months long problem. Not gonna talk more about it, you can find one of the previous entries if you want to read about it.

Posted a thread in the beginners forum, got some really good advice, and so far, I have stopped looking at her social media, as well as being on Instagram in general. So far it is really helping, not really in a position of neediness anymore with her. However, I still do have the mental image of her, but it's more of a manifestation of what happens when I improve in all areas of my life, especially my seduction skills. One of my goals is still to get in a relationship with someone who I deem high quality, but not before sampling a bunch of women. I guess this can be counted as mental masturbation, unless I go out with the intent of approaching women. Right now I am going to read up more on the articles and forums, and approach here and there until next semester starts, where I have much more opportunity to approach.

Now, I'm much more open to pushing myself to get the best possible, and next week, after I come back from a short trip, I will start a fitness channel with the main goal to start becoming a paid coach. I was also thinking, if this girl is really as high quality as I think she is, I need to get my shit together, so that when the opportunity presents itself to get with a girl like the one I built up in my head, or even her, I'm ready to take it and don't fumble. I'm going to stop obsessing over her, and instead put that obsession into trying different things to see what sticks.

Still the morning right now, maybe I will post an approach later.

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

I’m gonna journal the last couple days, all my encounters with woman in the gym, just trying to build up positive reference points before Italy, and the last couple of days surely helped.

Yesterday

Approached 2 girls, the first one somewhat cute, no logistics and enough negative compliance made me not go for the ask, nothing to ask for.

The second girl was Shy Braces Girl the main topic of my FR. Definitely a positive experience talking to her, felt like I could lead easily. If you want more info go read the FR.

Today

Didn’t make an approach but asked a group of 2 girls to spot me on a DB shoulder press. Long story short, they messed up horrendously. When I put down the weight, they were giggling and apologizing. At first, I made it no big deal, but started teasing them over it, and they were crazy in giggles. Enough so that I used this to create a bond with them over this alone, and they were receptive to talking to me. Asked them later to film a video for me, one of their friends who wasn’t part of the incident filmed it for me. Did a couple light teases, but it didn’t really hit as well. Wow, something as silly as a failed spot created a powerful moment between me and the two girls. Gonna think about this in future seductions.