Developing sense of humour

[lindsayrrr]

Hey guys

You know how someone cracks a joke and everyone laughs. Except you. But you smile thinking that the guys kinda simple for laughing at stupid ish. Then the question comes. Is it maybe that I'm too serious?
So you try to develop a sense of humour. Fast forward a few months. At this you point laugh along (genuinely) with others. But the things that really crack you up, no body else gets. And you get this so you know to not bother making jokes.

Basically how can I synchronize my (messed up) sense of humour with that of others. I know that its really tough to do, I tried.
I feel that this is missing from my interactions and people take me to seriously when I'm just a chilled guy, who's clueless about what's generally funny.

 

[Inbocca]

Your mind makes connections that others' don't (or don't make quick enough for the element of timing to make funny), and you find some things funny that other people don't get. I tend to think it's intelligence (I say that because the few people that do get that sense of humor tend to be intelligent), but there are a number of factors. Some people only like dark humor, some people like obscure references, and so forth.

What it sounds like you want is to a) get other people to laugh at the things you find truly funny or b) no longer find those things funny so there's no disparity in your collective sense of humor. The only way to make A happen is to find friends that also share that sense of humor. You can make B happen through negative reinforcement (like if you laugh at a certain kind of joke, start making yourself get super serious and tell yourself "that's not funny" until you no longer instinctively laugh). I don't know why you'd want to do this unless your sense of humor is truly appalling. You can also just bombard yourself with only mainstream comedy (or the specific type of comedy they find funny), but with that comes a lot of other opinions and self-regulations that society instills, not all of which are good for the self-made man you're (hopefully) trying to build.

Another option is just the general synchronization that happens between people when they like each other and start influencing one another. This happens automatically, but if you notice it you can deliberately adopt more traits from the other person. It's unlikely they'll do this for you unless they really look up to you. This is probably the best option, since it's a balance that preserves your genuine sense of humor and doesn't absorb too many of society's tendencies.

 

[lindsayrrr]

Hey Inbocca

I really enjoy dark humour, but I find many people either don't get it or its just off putting. Which is why I want to use less of
it.

I think that the meeting people with good sense of humour is probably the best, like you said. Problem what I see though is most of my funny friends play an entertaining role during interactions, which is not best for seduction, as said on the site. So that might be hard, like where do you draw the line between slightly hilarious and joker.

Thanks for advice though.