Direct vs Indirect: Which is best for day approach?

[ProblemSolving]

The short answer is it doesn't really matter. Of all the my past lays I don't think anything would have changed if I had changed my approach from direct to indirect or from indirect to direct. Much of your results are determined before you even open your mouth to speak. The first prerequisite being, is she sexually available? In other words, is she open to meeting a new guy? The next prerequisite being, does she find you attractive? Without both of these components, you have nothing.

The good news is you can quickly and efficiently figure out if these components are present within a minute or two of conversation. Is she cold and indifferent? One or both of the components is missing. Is she warm? Most likely attracted, so ask her out to find out if she's available. It doesn't matter whether it's direct of indirect.

With that said, your approaches will have the most favorable reactions by meeting the girl's expectations. For example, at the bar, girls dress up to look as sexy as possible and expect to be hit on, touched, etc, so being direct and aggressive is a lot more effective. In daygame, I personally favor being somewhat indirect because in this environment, they don't really expect to be hit on, so I make it as easy as possible for them not to look awkward. "Hey, how's your day going?" "Hey, what are you up to?" Both are super easy for her to respond to and I'll usually be able to figure out if she's interested within the first 10 seconds. In the day time, most of my approaches don't even seem like i'm hitting on them. To people watching, it just looks like friends catching up who haven't seen each other in a while.

Also, not to rag on direct approaches during the day, but put yourself in a hot girls shoes. With social media being a part of every girls life, attractive girls are bombarded daily with guys telling them how attractive they are. You telling her that you find her attractive isn't exactly ground breaking news. And it's a little bit insulting, "Hey I came here to talk to you because I like your DNA". It's not any different than a girl hitting on a guy that's driving a Lambo, "Hey, I came over to talk to you because you look rich". In the end, if the girl is available and attracted to you, it's not going to matter either way, but it is something to think about.

 

[MickDavies]

You telling her that you find her attractive isn't exactly ground breaking news. And it's a little bit insulting

At the risk of sounding like a complete 180 here, I would agree that yes, it is insulting if you make the frame ‘I like your body and because I told you that, you owe me your respect/number/time/sex’. If instead your frame is ‘I think you are attractive & I would lose respect for myself as a man if I didn’t tell you that & give us the opportunity to share some magic together, if you (the woman) so choose’, at that point I am beginning to agree with Richard. There is almost no woman out there who would be insulted by that. In fact from what I’ve been seeing over the last few days it would often be enough almost for her to reopen you.

 

[Rain]

The short answer is it doesn't really matter. Of all the my past lays I don't think anything would have changed if I had changed my approach from direct to indirect or from indirect to direct. Much of your results are determined before you even open your mouth to speak. The first prerequisite being, is she sexually available? In other words, is she open to meeting a new guy? The next prerequisite being, does she find you attractive? Without both of these components, you have nothing.

The good news is you can quickly and efficiently figure out if these components are present within a minute or two of conversation. Is she cold and indifferent? One or both of the components is missing. Is she warm? Most likely attracted, so ask her out to find out if she's available. It doesn't matter whether it's direct of indirect.

With that said, your approaches will have the most favorable reactions by meeting the girl's expectations. For example, at the bar, girls dress up to look as sexy as possible and expect to be hit on, touched, etc, so being direct and aggressive is a lot more effective. In daygame, I personally favor being somewhat indirect because in this environment, they don't really expect to be hit on, so I make it as easy as possible for them not to look awkward. "Hey, how's your day going?" "Hey, what are you up to?" Both are super easy for her to respond to and I'll usually be able to figure out if she's interested within the first 10 seconds. In the day time, most of my approaches don't even seem like i'm hitting on them. To people watching, it just looks like friends catching up who haven't seen each other in a while.

When you say Hey, hows it going... I've done that when they are standing in an aisle, is that also applicable during daygame
- if they are sitting in the food court/cafe?
- if its >1 person eg a 2set, 3set men and woman set etc?
- if they are walking?

I've noticed ones that are standing, I'll stand next to them, pick an item up off the super market shelf, or the book shelf in a book store or general discount store etc and then go hows it going and look at them and yeah. If we chat and they start walking away but still chatting, that's one example of probably disinterested, right?

If they're walking away within 10sec or 2mins, no point in asking 'are you single?' or 'don't you know we were meant to be together' sarcasticly like in the article I think Richard linked to as they walk away?

You read a lot about be dominant, or be persistent, but its about balance right? Because then you think well maximise your success, what if saying 'are you single' or 'don't you know we meant to be together' sarcasticly as they walk away gives you that 1 in 10 or 1 in 100.... but is it worth the risk chasing after that... the risk of I dunno a reputation or social risk I guess or them getting more bitchier and grabbing their bf if they have one in the next aisle. Or another example I read something about you can "re open" in a club later that night, and they may be more receptive later that night, I'm guessing that doesn't apply to daygame, or its way more risky in a social aspect? Orrr is it worth it aka what Richard says below about bitch shields re repel weak minded guys and we are trying be persistent, see how I can read that and get contradicted?

I cannot, for the life of me, find the article I want to link you to - it covers what I talked about in a lot more depth. Like I said, a lot of women put up these "bitch shields" because it's a useful way to repel weak-minded guys who aren't worth dating/fucking/etc. There isn't a single woman on the planet who feels offended enough to act stand-offish (like the girls you're describing) by being given a genuine compliment because it's not how women operate.

There isn't a girl alive who hates hearing "I think you're attractive" UNLESS it's delivered improperly which is why I said calibration in direct daygame is much higher than indirect daygame.

That aside, my strategy for dealing with women who aren't super receptive right away and act kind of bitchy or arrogant is to 1) not react with negative emotion and 2) continue to engage them in a fun way. I'm very playful and goofy so women hardly ever have shields up when I talk to them so I haven't run across this issue in a long time but I used to just follow through with genuine emotion. My goal is to have fun and make experiences warm and memorable with women so I don't react by being an asshole or insulting a girl if she rejects my initial approach - I stay calm and try to keep having fun to see if she cracks a little bit and if she doesn't I let her walk away while maintaining a smile and good energy.

Check This Out.

-Richard

If they are walking away, do you continue to engage? I've done that but haven't had any start walking back to me so is there a probability of them going from cold to receptive if they're walking away, or like a 1 in 10 or 1 in 100 chance? I'm still a noob at cold approaching and less fundamentals/game so yeah as mentioned above I read a lot about how maybe you can be persistent and they do become receptive but draw the line somewhere?