Does anybody have experiences of drastic change in personality?

[Praxis]

Right now I'm timid, shy, emotionally sensitive, I care too much what people think, I'm also very rational and logical, general negative/loser mentality, don't believe in myself, panic easily.

Basically, all this has to change if I want to have women in my life (especially ones who just want a casual short term type relationship (I don't think I ever want to settle down)). I'm 32 which means a lot of these patterns are ingrained habits.

I've been doing self therapeutic stuff which has helped. What definitely HASN'T helped is going out and talking to women. I've been going out to clubs and daygame for about 3 years now, and it's always a case of being terrified to approach, forcing myself to approach and ejecting after the opener, even when I get good responses, then going home and feeling terrible from the rejections.

I had the impression my ability to approach and handle women would improve as I went out more, but it hasn't. If it does go away it is temporary. I don't mind putting in field work but it's expensive and time consuming to be spending all this time approaching compared to the progress I'm making.

Does anybody know what I need to do to change this or has done it themselves?

And how much change is actually possible? Can i totally overhaul my personality like I want to?

Thanks for any advice.

 

[Lotus]

Praxis,

I believe it's possible if you fully commit yourself to it.

Going out and just approaching doesn't seem to be addressing the actual problem, which is inside your head. The thoughts that you have are running your life. The voice inside your head is controlling you.

If you want to begin making progress in social settings, you have to begin to master those thoughts. To develop a mental fortitude allowing you to proceed past the wall of negativity.

I'm not sure how long you have been reading, but there is a whole section of the main site dedicated to mindsets. I'd start there. There are also plenty of books out there about mastering your own mind.

https://www.girlschase.com/pages/mindsets

-Taylor

 

[Bboy100]

You probably have some deep unconscious issues which you're probably not aware of. That's okay. Most of us do in one way or another. Either way, as you've already discovered, your particular issues are not the type that are going to fix themselves by just changing lifestyles & habits (i.e. going out to do pickup). You need to address this stuff directly. My best recommendation would be to find a good counselor to talk you through them.

 

[PrettyDecent]

Hey Praxis,

Can you describe what an average day or night of approaching is like?

And yes, the answer to your question is you can change these habits.

Nick

 

[Praxis]

Hey Praxis,

Can you describe what an average day or night of approaching is like?

And yes, the answer to your question is you can change these habits.

Nick

I usually open a few girls, and eject after the opener, or they reject me. I haven't been out in 3 months so I'm just going to meetup.com groups, and daygame opening girls with false directions openers, just to take babysteps an ease myself back in.

I'm stuck in a rut, have lots of bad habits, including mental bad habits, and every time I try to make changes I get pulled back. Not sure what to do or how to approach the situation.

 

[Average]

Praxis,

Sorry to reopen a closed topic (if it has been resolved) but here's my point of view on things.

Early Ejection was a little bit hard for me to face as well.

1) I cured my early ejection by never leaving until the girl herself either left or told me to leave. It hurt but it got the job done.

NB: Don't follow her.

Whenever you're in an interaction and you feel the fear coming back....pregnant pause. It had a calming effect on me. I once kept quiet with a girl who couldn't leave for 15 minutes and I ended up getting her numbers still.

NB: Don't follow her!!!

3) If you're ejection was really that early and you've spent the last 3 years fighting that, then maybe you're fighting it too head on? Try doing the smallest of things to beat it. Tiny adjustments that might even seem trivial.

Praxis: hi
Her: hi
Praxis: is that justin bieber walking down the road?
her: yeah
Praxis: cool

*walk away*

Praxis: hi
Her: hi
Praxis: is that justin bieber walking down the road?
her: yeah
Praxis: wow. That's cool.

*walk away*

You could try any small change. You could even try moving slower as you eject!!! Your options are limitless.

Now, if you are afraid you won't make any progress with this then that's good. Because the tiny bits of improvements are improvements on their own....but they are also designed to nudge you further on a day when you feel like taking chances and making more changes on the fly.

Praxis: hi
Her: hi
Praxis: is that justin bieber walking down the road?
her: yeah
Praxis: wow. That's cool. My sister loves him
Her: cool
Praxis: cool.

*slow walks away*

Once you do this and you see that a lil confidence won't hurt you....you'll continue adding adjustments to your game to make it last longer until you end up having a bucket full.

That was my plan (although, sometimes instead of feeling confident, I ended up making BIG changes out of irritation of my tiny progress).

If you're changes are rejected, try to change the changes rather than chucking the idea.

3) The rejections are kinda easy to fix (well not easy to physically fix but easy to atleast pinpoint the problems), you just gotta tell us what happened in explicit detail and we'll be able to tell you what went right, what went wrong. Why? How? The works. If you keep this up then after a while you should see some improvement. If there are any interactions you've had that you care to ask about then please.....grab the mike

Hey Praxis,

Can you describe what an average day or night of approaching is like?

And yes, the answer to your question is you can change these habits.

Nick

I usually open a few girls, and eject after the opener, or they reject me. I haven't been out in 3 months so I'm just going to meetup.com groups, and daygame opening girls with false directions openers, just to take babysteps an ease myself back in.

I'm stuck in a rut, have lots of bad habits, including mental bad habits, and every time I try to make changes I get pulled back. Not sure what to do or how to approach the situation.

I usually open a few girls, and eject after the opener, or they reject me.

Yeah, we gonna need a lot more details than this. So if you do take my advice, then you'll end up making a post about a real life approach where you spoke to a girl, what you said, how she reacted and how you ejected....or how she rejected you and in you're post try to tell us how you felt, why you felt it, what you said, how you said it, how she looked as she reacted to you, what you think went wrong.....etc. There is no such thing as too much information.

Considering how short your interactions were, the post won't be so long...so feel free to go wild with the typing brother. Hold nothing back.

Who knows, she might not even have rejected you, it might have just looked like it from your perspective. We won't know unless you tell us.

 

[Praxis]

Thanks for the reply, I'll start doing that.

 

[PrettyDecent]

Strong response from Ash!

Nick