Dylan's newbie assignment/journal

[Dylan]

Day 10 complete!

This was a big achievement for me today. I got to four 'are you single' approaches in about two hours this evening on the street (leaving out the morning when I didn't get any done). It took me about 45 minutes to get the first one done, but after that things went more quickly. I'm very pleased to get this day done.

All four were rejections. The first three were quite quick rejections, whereas the fourth girl responded well to me, even though she said she had a boyfriend. Three were when she was walking in the same direction as me, but I didn't preopen because I didn't have the nerve (yet).

I think that was because I was more confident by this point with three under my belt. I was motivated to do the task today because I had already done one approach yesterday and I wanted to get it all done by about 8pm so I wouldn't have to go out again after dinner.

I achieved a goal today that seemed impossible a few days ago. I'm going to save Day 11 (a rest day, focusing on the walk) until Sunday because Saturday is an ideal day to attempt Day 12 - 4 x indirect direct

 

[Dylan]

Mixed day today. Drew a blank with indirect-direct approaches during the day, but saved the day somewhat by going to a club and doing a bit of shotgun opening. Chase explains how to shotgun open here: https://www.girlschase.com/content/shotgun-opening-and-reopening-women-later-night. I was probably a bit too social butterfly and not targeted enough in my opening. I opened two girls, and two guys. I also stayed for half an hour - a short period of time. Next time I want to make it out for an hour and at least 2 direct/indirect-direct approaches.

It's odd - at the start of the day I would have said that the day approaches would have been easier than going out alone at night. In the end I did no approaches in the day but executed the night game quite well. With night game alone the hard part is dragging yourself out of the house and into line. Once you're inside, things become easier.

The club I went to i'd never been to before, and I probably won't go back. The girl:guy ratio was horrendous, the bars were small and there were basically no seats - not great for pickup at all. It was the one where I bottled it a few weeks back. I said at the time that I wouldn't screw it up this time and I'm glad to say I made it in and did some (indirect) approaches as well.

Day 12 again tomorrow in the day. Things are always quieter on a Sunday, but I think I can get it done.

 

[Dylan]

Blank today. Annoyed with myself, mainly for being complacent. It was a late start after going to the gym and the supermarket. I thought I'd check out a new area to day game, but it turned out to be no good.

I think also I need to drop my standards slightly and open more girls. Too often I talk myself out of approaches by saying she's not attractive enough on a split-second judgment. I need to rack up more approaches - so starting tomorrow morning I'm going to go for four indirect-direct. Time to stop being complacent and start being impatient with myself, because that's when I get things done.

 

[Dylan]

Days 11 and 12 complete, in reverse order!

Day 12 yesterday. I got an approach done in the morning for the first time ever. It should have been two as a very attractive girl walked past wearing earphones, but I fluffed that. Another reason, if you needed one, to get started early in the day/night is that if you're looking to reach a target things can get tricky as time wears on. For about 20 minutes yesterday evening I was walking around increasingly desperately trying to do a fourth and final approach, to save an evening out.

One of the girls responded well (but she was married), while another was engaged. I'm glad, in a way, to be getting rejections. I need lots of them to develop the thick skin needed to deal with approach anxiety and to start racking up 10+ approaches in an outing.

Day 11 was a day off today from approaching. I focused on my walk before work. I've been working on it for a while now, but it's dropped off my radar a bit since I've started approaching more actively. If someone and I are walking on a collision course, I tend to "win" as the other person steps aside.

Day 13 is next - approach and repartee. Realistically I think Friday night will be my best chance to do this. I'm still going to get at least 2 approaches done tomorrow though, just to keep things ticking over.

The end of the assignment is just two days away...

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

Blank today, which was mainly due to having to stay a bit late at work. No matter, I'm going to go for four approaches tomorrow, in an hour. They will be direct or indirect/direct. 4 in an hour is a good target to aim for - it will be a productive hour.

After that, the first attempt at Day 13 on Friday.

 

[Dylan]

Got halfway through Day 13 today. Total of 3 approaches, 2 x banter (4 x banter is the object of Day 13). Still, I'm happy with how I did.

Approaches:

1. A girl on the way home from work who I opened literally as I stepped out of my door (one of the perks of living near the city centre). She said she was single - the first time anyone's told me this, but I got no further. I need to get pre-opening into my day game. At the moment it's something I've never done in day game.

2. A girl at the bar when I went out (alone) tonight. She was ordering a large round of drinks, so I said to her "hope you're leaving some drinks for the rest of us!" which she took really well. We chatted for a few minutes more then left it there.

3. A girl who looked distracted, on the edge of her group (another Chase tip). I opened her indirectly and talked to her for a good while, before her friends decided to leave. I was about to go to the bar and offer up a compliance test - again, that's something I've never done consciously before.

I also made it to an hour out alone in the bar! It wasn't that busy, which is a bonus for your confidence as you realise you can survive even if it's not rammed. You really do feel like an absolute boss when you realise you're comfortable out by yourself. It's getting to that stage now - I was far less anxious this week than last week. I was barely nervous this time, although I did have to force myself into the queue. It hasn't yet got to the point where I can just glide in without a second's thought

A good day, all in all. The two approaches I did in the bar went very well and I'm proud of myself for just staying out for an hour - it's an hour longer than most men can manage. Next time, I want to make it to five approaches, and then ten soon after. Ten is a solid target to aim for - if I can consistently hit ten approaches on a night out then I will see some steady improvement. I also went indirect on my two approaches - I need to start some direct.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

You didn't think I'd given up did you?

I am still on Day 13 - 4 approaches with repartee. Yesterday I got to 2 using the are you single opener after work. Both went well. My last four approaches have all gone better than a month ago - they are lasting longer and going beyond just the opener.

the first girl threw her head back and said "no", but I carried on anyway and we ended up talking for a bit. I was pleased that I got past the initial no - it was probably because I was just keen to plow on with the approach that I didn't even consider quitting the approach. She gave me her name and we shook hands, but I excused myself fairly soon after.

The second girl I approached in the bookshop. I asked her for her phone number, which she declined, but again that's the first phone number I've gone for for a while. Good preparation for Day 14.

I checked out town after work today but it was slim pickings. It's funny, yesterday there were so many good-looking girls around, but today there were hardly any. Maybe because it's Friday and people are getting ready to go out?

It was a bit disappointing because I was hoping to get to 2 approaches with repartee to get me halfway there before going out this evening. As it happens, I've got 4 to make this evening. It will be a big challenge, and I'll give it a go. I really want to complete Day 13 as I've been here a week (although I've been tied up) and Day 14 I think has to be completed on a Saturday realistically for me.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

Day 13 complete!

Long day today day gaming, but I got to 4 approaches with repartee and did 7 approaches overall. Three didn't come off so I won't describe them in any detail. Girls were thin on the ground today, maybe because the weather was rubbish. Two of my approaches were direct, because I'd made eye contact with them as they walked past me but hadn't approached. I figured that I needed to make up for lost ground so I went for the strongest opener out there.

The first girl said she was on her way to meet her boyfriend, the second stayed to chat but I found the conversation stalled a bit so I exited. The third girl said she was shy, but I maybe should have pushed for the phone number.

Things went better on Friday - I think maybe I felt under pressure to get the repartee going that I rushed it a bit. Now that I don't have a "mission" to complete as such with that, I might relax into it a bit more. It definitely felt rehearsed, which it was to be fair, but I'm still learning. 7 approaches is also a new PB in one day, but it won't be for long

The final Newbie Assignment challenge is Day 14 - 4 phone numbers asked for. I'm going to go for it tomorrow, which might be hard as it's a Sunday.

Dylan

 

[Mr.Rob]

Dylan Nice! You're almost there!

I was wondering whether or not you were going to stick with it all the way but very cool that you have. I didn't realize you were the same guy doing the newbie assignment that I commented on a while back so that was cool seeing you stuck with it. yeah.

The first girl said she was on her way to meet her boyfriend, the second stayed to chat but I found the conversation stalled a bit so I exited. The third girl said she was shy, but I maybe should have pushed for the phone number.

This is all normal stuff that's going to happen don't fret. An exercise you might want to add would be staying in every set for at least one minute before exiting (obviously if they leave first it still counts). This will get you used to social pressure more and get you getting more accustomed to getting through the awkward stage of a lot of conversations that we all hate. Then once you can do this bump it up to 2 minutes and so on.

A fun one you can do is when you introduce yourself and shake hand with a girl keep shaking her hand until she pulls it away. Obviously you're kind of ruining your chances on having a set go super smooth and good but at this point in the game you're probably not going to get a ton of numbers and girls that are into you anyway. This will get you used to not giving a huge shit about what any girl in particular thinks and you can enjoy yourself in the process.

It definitely felt rehearsed, which it was to be fair, but I'm still learning

Also pretty normal when you first start out and it might be for the better. Everything is so damn hectic when you first start approaching its hard to come up with something to talk about or say. DO NOT however get comfortable with scripted openers and what you say after the openers. Once you beat back A.A. enough and get more exposure to approaching you can start just saying whatever comes to mind and letting the conversation flow and run its course.

Glad to have you hear Dylan. Keep it up.

-Rob

 

[Dylan]

First of all, thanks Rob for your advice and encouragement. I appreciate it!

I attempted Day 14 yesterday and got halfway there. It was a strange sort of day. I made five day approaches and got two phone numbers. The second phone number in particular went really well - I'm optimistic about how that's going to go. I think I should have invited her home actually because we were getting along so well, and because she had asked me what I was doing later and told me she wasn't doing much. With hindsight, that was a blatant hint but I'm still learning how to invite girls home (or even that you have to invite girls home!) and obviously it's more of a big deal in the day time.

I went home after that but I realised that I was still two short. I dragged myself out to a club but only made one approach, which wasn't great.

I've decided my night game needs work. I planned to start introducing targets for girls to approach in a week after I completed the Newbie Assignment, but now I want to bring that forward. Completing Day 14 using day game will take several hours and I think it's only realistic at the weekend. For the rest of the week I find it hard to motivate myself to approach if it doesn't "count" towards the assignment. So starting Monday the plan is to make 10 approaches by Sunday, of which a minimum of 5 have to be in bars or clubs.

The plan is to complete that, whilst trying to complete Day 14 as well. The five at night is what makes this 10 a challenge for me. If it was ten day game it would be easy. Then, when I complete this, I'll raise it to 15 the next week, then 20, then...

I'll keep you informed

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

Hi all,

Apologies for the delay between posts.

I feel like my day game has come on a lot since I began taking it seriously in the last few months. Today, for instance, I got a phone number and will hopefully set up a date.

I haven't made similar progress with night game though. I can't seem to find a venue to practice in that has consistently a good ratio of pretty girls. Am I being too critical? Here are some observations:

- everywhere I've been to so far is full of drunk men. At a guess, I'd say the ratio seems about 70:30 guys to girls. Is this as terrible as I think it is, or is this just the way? Everywhere you look there are groups of 3/4/5 men, you rarely see equivalent groups of girls
- there are lots of bars and clubs but they are all quite small, usually one floor, so that limits the girls you can approach
- I can't seem to find anywhere that has people in their early/mid 20s. Places seem full of late 20s/early 30s, or the student joints that are rammed with 18-21 year olds (again masses of guys)

As I'm going out on my own, I still find this very intimidating. I didn't even make it in to a bar or club tonight - the first time that's happened in about 6 goes. You wonder what the point is, if there are barely any girls to approach?

Is this normal for the UK? What am I doing wrong? It's so frustrating.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

I've slept on what I said yesterday, and I guess what I was trying to say was - there are two differences I can see between day game and night game:

1) going out alone is more unusual and frightening in night game. Approaching is the only reason you have to be out if you're out alone
2) Day game you can wander around anywhere without a care in the world. Night game you have to 'make a commitment' to work a particular venue, whether with money or by passing the door staff on the way in. You can't change venues as easily as you can in day game, you have to leave, find another place, queue, pay and so on.

Last weekend I paid to go to a house club night, but when I got there it was 80% guys and 20% girls. The ratios were terrible. I felt cheated, like I did at the other club I tried a few weeks ago. But you're committed to staying there for at least a little while, which I did. Perhaps the number of girls picked up after I left.

I'd like to know others' experience of this - am I protesting too much? Is a club with a 50:50 ratio of girls to guys a myth in the UK?

I guess that's at the back of my mind when I go out at night now, as well as the fear of going out alone. I'm trying to avoid the disappointment of thinking you're dealing with your fear, get past the doorman, get inside - only to find the girl/guy ratio appalling and you wonder why you bothered psyching yourself up for this.

I was thinking about Chase's article about the winner effect. I think for me, a win would be to go direct on 2 girls, alone, on a night out. So maybe I've been setting my goals as too unrealistic for now. If I go for that tonight, then next time it will be 3, then 5, then 6, then 8, then 10 girls. It will take longer, but at the moment night game just isn't working for me. If I can get the winner effect going, maybe that will help.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

Update on the last few weeks.

I've been going out more in night game. Lately I've been going out with a wingman, which is new to me. Last night was a bit disappointing - I approached four girls, but my target was seven. My realisation is that I didn't get into the groove early enough. My new plan is to get to the club and then split from my wingman for about 20/30 minutes. In that time, rack up 3/4 approaches quickly to get warmed up. From there, there'll be plenty of time to go beyond four and closer to my target of 10 in a night out.

When I get to 10 consistently, that's when I'll know I think that I'm talking to girls in the kinds of numbers that will see definite improvement.

I'm also planning on spending more time in the smoking area. The best interactions I've had in the last 2 nights have both been in the smoking area. I don't actually smoke, but what worked for me last night is to ask for a cigarette and then say "I don't actually smoke, I thought you were cute and wanted to come meet you" (i.e. indirect-direct).

I also dislike spending large amounts of time in loud venues (but we gotta do what we gotta do right?) It's also just so much easier to have a normal conversation rather than shouting in girls' ears and having to repeat yourself all the time. The smoking area removes both those problems.

So, next time I go out, which I think is tonight, the plan is to beat my PB of four and get to 7.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

A few notes from this weekend:

1. I need to improve warming up for a night out. I was out with my buddy on Friday and I managed four approaches. Same as last week, so I was a bit disappointed I didn't push things further. I realised I spent too long at the beginning of the night chatting to my friend rather than approaching.

I think also there's no harm in doing some situational openers to begin with to build social momentum. So, my plan for next Friday is to go out, but split as soon as we get in the club, and to do three situational openers quite quickly, even before getting a drink. Just a "how's your night going?" type opener to get warmed up. Having done three of those, I'll get a drink. Then move to direct and indirect/direct.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

Just a note to say that I want to move beyond a 3/4 approaches a night and start getting closer to 10 per night. Tomorrow, I'm aiming for at least seven approaches. I'm going to do three in quick succession (unless they hook hard), and then push past four on towards 7-10 approaches.

I plateaued last week, time to move on.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

Weekend report:

Had a very good weekend. I went out solo twice and got 15 approaches done in total - ten on Friday and five on Saturday.

These were the first two nights when I really felt like I was following my process, which was:

- Go to the club at the scheduled time
- Get in line without thinking twice
- Three situational openers before getting a drink
- Situational/direct after that

Results:

One phone number, 2 other approaches went well I think. I'm pleased with the phone number because I followed the process to the letter, moving her quickly. She abruptly left after talking for a while, but not before giving me her phone number.

Saturday:

I think I was a bit complacent that night, still on a bit of a high after Friday. Still, I managed five approaches. None of them were particularly successful. I left when I should have stayed for longer. I was just getting warmed up and should have pushed on.

All in all, though, that makes for a successful weekend for me. 15 approaches is getting close to the numbers I need to be putting in a week to see solid improvement. I have a few questions from the weekend, which I'll post later.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

Thoughts on the weekend.

Things got off to a bad start on Friday. I did two day game approaches, including one that went very well, but I didn't think of proceeding to get her phone number. I guess that comes down to not really expecting to succeed. With day game, although I've done more of it, it still sometimes feels strange and like the girl will never be that open to me. In this case, she was, and I didn't think fast enough to move things along.

That night, I bailed going solo. There's no real excuse for doing that, and I was disappointed with myself.

That disappointment stayed with me through Saturday. I nearly turned around and went home Saturday night, but I got myself in line in the end and managed 7 approaches on Saturday at night, and one in the day. I'm pleased to say I met both my goals for that night, which were to approach six girls and try to move two of them. The two girls both declined my invitations to move with me. The thing was, it really made me think about investment. Asking (or telling) a girl to move with you is such a good way of saving both you and her time. If she does move, then things move on. If not, you break it off and go again on a different girl.

Another approach on Sunday made it 10 in total. Not bad given how badly Friday went, but I want to do better.

I'm thinking about my approach anxiety. At the moment, I can normally get over it and push myself into approaching in the day and at night. However today I was spooked and my brief outing on the streets came to nothing. Still, there's a way to go before it's no longer a problem for me at all.

Before, I was approaching mainly just to get over the fear. Now, the next thing to do is to start looking for investment and closing in my interactions - i.e. opening looking to close, rather than just looking to open.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

Hello all,

Apologies for the delay in posting. I've still been approaching, but I need to up the number of approaches. My target is 20 approaches a week minimum until I "get good", at which point I'll re-evaluate. If I can get 20 approaches going each week over the summer, I'll have racked up a huge amount of experience.

Last night I went out and made 7 approaches. I got two phone numbers (I know, they don't mean much, but it's still a close of a sort) and 3/7 out of the approaches got somewhere. I'm going to be going out again tonight.

Things I've learned:

1. If you're out with someone/other people, don't spend too much time with them
2. Moving girls, I need to be more assertive. Rather than asking them to come with me, just lead them and make them come with you.

At the moment I struggle with escalation. I've had three girls come home with me from dates in the past fortnight, and none of them have led to sex. I could up my assertiveness and keep pushing. You learn from each experience...

Dylan

 

[Nighthawk]

You're doing great!
I have to find where this newbie assignment is and do it too haha

 

[Dylan]

Cheers Nighthawk. The newbie assignment is here

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewt ... ?f=13&t=34

Last night I went out solo to the club. My wingman has left town for a few months. I probably could have got someone else to come out, but I decided to get back into solo game. When I was starting out, that's how I used to run things. After going out a bit and looking round online I found a few other guys doing this as well, so it had actually been a few months since I went alone. I felt like I didn't crack solo game consistently before, so I made a decision to go by myself.

Getting back into it wasn't so hard. I was nervous before going out, but not absolutely terrified as I was when I started out. I wasn't in a particularly social mood before going out - it had been a long day at work and my head was full of other people's concerns.

I had a ticket for the club I was going to. If anyone is struggling with going out alone, I recommend buying a ticket in advance if possible as a way to help. You have "buy-in" that way - you've already invested financially in the night, so you have to go, or you'll have wasted your money, right? It also helps to reduce my main anxiety about going out solo now - that the door staff will refuse you entry. It's much harder for them to do that if you've already paid them. As it happens, the club I was going to has friendly door staff so I wasn't too concerned about that.

The club wasn't that busy when I made it inside. I started talking to a guy in the smoking area, but after a while I said to myself that it was time to get going. I went back inside and did what I usually do in clubs now - use 3 x "how's your night going?" openers to get warmed up.

After that, it wasn't overly hard to get to my target of 8 approaches for the night. Going solo makes your mind up for you about whether to approach or not. There really is nothing else to do except put yourself out there. Lately I've been in a bad habit of ducking out when I'm one or two approaches shy of my goal for the night. Not last night - I read Chase's article about the Winner Effect https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-be-dominant-man-what-you-didnt-know-about-winner-effect and resolved that tonight I would win by getting to eight.

The downside was that only two of my approaches got anywhere at all, and those two didn't really get anywhere that far. I wasn't able to get too much investment in these interactions - both girls I opened direct. They responded well, but were both waiting for friends. When they arrived, I didn't try to get them to stay with me.

Still that's outweighed by the 2 x plus sides:

- Went solo successfully
- Hit my target

I've also made 200+ approaches this year now. I'll get another post up shortly reflecting on how I've done so far in 2014.

Dylan