Ergon's Newbie Assignment

[Ergon]

Hello! Ergon here. Let me Introduce myself before I begin detailing my adventure with the assignment. I'm 20 and I live in Portland, US
How I found GC and decided to do a journal? For this or that reason I've never been good with women nor socializing in general. But in high school, being friends with the most charismatic guys there, I became aware of how bad I really was and found that I wanted to become really good at it eventually.

I know of pick up since my teens, but I never gave it a shot. I always had a pretext to not really work on going out there and becoming good with women and people. One good day, however, I realized it was about time I do things differently. Just six months ago I started trying to be more outgoing, improve my English ( my second language), and doing more social activities. I began taking some dance lessons, I assisted some social gatherings and learned how to mingle with different people in the process.

In one of those dancing social gatherings I met a girl with whom I got along really well. I asked her for her number and invited her for a coffee. Not knowing what to do or talk about on a date I did a search on the internet and found GC. I ended not meeting with this girl but I kept reading GC and most of it made a lot of sense to me.

I been applying several concepts from the site these past months and I've had a few good interactions with girls (a couple of kiss closes only), but I've also had a few very painful failures that have made me want to become good at seduction even more. Since I haven't had any lay, done any daygame and I meet women very inconsistently, I accepted the newbie assignment in hopes of boosting my progress.
I expect to finish it at the end of this month and hold myself accountable by posting everyday in this journal.

Looking forward for the days ahead, and thanks you all for joining me here!

 

[Ergon]

Day 1

I actually did today's task a few weeks ago. The first place I found most viable is downtown; there I can try the mall or the university , the light rail, or the streets. Whenever I pass through those places there seems to be a lot of approachable girls and the area is just really nice to walk by. My college also has a lot of pretty girls, although it is a small college and by mid afternoon nobody is there, but before and after classes it's a good spot. Then there's the nightclubs and the latin dance joints, where I plan to go as soon as I turn 21 (not too long before that, though).

 

[Mystique]

Welcome to the forum Ergon! It's a good decision you've made to improve on yourself. And the newbie assignment is definitely a good start.

 

[Ergon]

Day 2,3

Thank you for stopping by Mystique!

So today I decided to merge day two and three, posture and eye contact, because I had already worked on them separately a few months ago, when I read Chase's article on fundamentals. I had sort of a weak day today because I only went out to school and not to my preferred places (too much rain) . Still I managed to get some insights while out there.

My posture is much better now, mostly because I've been more aware of it and because in dance they make you work on you posture a lot. I also tried a few times a technique I heard models do to keep their head parallel to the ground; you try to walk while keeping a book balanced on top of your head.

Waiting for the bus, I looked around and could definitely see a lot of people slouching or hunch over their cell phones. Probably only about 20 percent of people had a really good posture but, surprisingly, I noticed most guys with the good postures didn’t exactly have a very masculine, sexy walk . I haven't pay attention to my walk yet, but I look forward to work on that in day eleven.

On the eye contact aspect, I noticed that there's been improvement too. Before I rarely made eye contact with people on the street, now I do it very often. When I walked to the cafeteria I made eye contact with a few girl, I said hi to one of them and to an old lady.

Tomorrow will probably be more exciting and I'll certainly go downtown to say "hi" to at least six women and then work on some homework. Doesn't sound too hard, although I tried it before and could only say "hi" to two girls. Tomorrow though, I'll really aim for six.

 

[Ergon]

Day 4

Well, well…
Today wasn't as I expected. I pushed myself to go out there, went downtown, explored around and walked several hours, yet I couldn't say hi to six beautiful women. I see clearly now that AA is really a nuisance and a problem for me . I made a lot of eye contact with girls and I could hold it a while, even feeling a rush when I did it, but whenever I passed them I couldn't open my mouth and just say "hi".

I tried to build social momentum, and in fact I talked to an old lady with whom I shared a table while I grabbed something to eat. I made some conversation with a guy before boarding the light rail, and also some polite conversation with a barista girl who made my tea; yet in all the evening I didn't accomplished the goal I intended.

There was a moment though, when two girls (visibly not related) sat close to me, and I made eye contact with both, twice, yet they kept using their cell phones the whole time, kept a closed body language, neither one smiled back, and they were sitting exactly across each other, so I chickened out. I didn't approach, but I wonder how my approach could have been under those circumstances.

Anyhow, to not make this post longer I'll summarize.

Wrong:
I didn't have a substantial meal until 5 pm, so that lowered my energy.
I went out just when it was getting dark and drizzling.
I chickened out at each opportunity due to AA.

To do now:
Try again tomorrow, a couple of hours earlier and preferably somewhere indoors (the mall).
Have a hearty breakfast and lunch.
Remember that only doing the assignment will you get better at this.

 

[Ergon]

OK, so even though I really wanted to go out and try again, I woke up with a running nose and body aches. Definitely unable to do the assignment today. Probably being outside these days and not eating well passed me the bill. It wasn't a totally unproductive day though, because I studied for my finals next week and I also arranged a date with a girl who texted me again after a couple of weeks. I'm not sure if I'm in a good position with this girl because when I met her I think I offered her too much value, and when I texted her before she told me she had a boyfriend (but still wanted to meet with me sometime), etc.
Still, this unexpected surprise, plus me thinking how silly I must sound for you guys not being able to do something as basic as saying hi to women, has motivated me again. I'll make another attempt at the assignment tomorrow (if I can at least get out of bed), and perhaps give more details on the girl I mentioned. For now I'll just go have some healing rest.

 

[Ergon]

Hello again. I though I would have time this week to do the Newbie assignment, but between the flu, three finals and really bad weather I just didn't feel like doing it. In the meantime I had a date that you can check out at: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=13360. The good news, however, is that I'm in vacations now, so I'll have plenty of time to work on my game, plus I might travel to Canada for a couple days, so there's time and opportunity for me to advance with this now.

 

[Ergon]

After two weeks

It seems as if I abandoned this journal and the newbie assignment completely, but as chance would have it, I just didn't have much time (or I had a little but was I lazy) to report my progress. There were several relevant occurrences though, during these past two weeks that I want to talk about, but since it's pretty late right now I might just write a little today and then post some more about it tomorrow.

So here we go. The Friday before last one, I went to a social dancing night. There were more people than usual, and I then discovered many were from the same dance class at some college and they were taking the event as a final test !? Unfortunately the college was at a different city and thus the girls lived too far as well. Not all girl were from far though.

At the beginning of the night I talked to a girl, who did live in the city and had already given me her number some weeks before; I tried to ask her out then but I was too indirect and then kind of lame with my texts, so she responded she was busy. She actually said hello first that night and we talked a little bit while I was sitting outside before getting in where the event was; however, since she was the first person I talked to that night I didn't have much conversation yet, and she got inside while I waited some more outside. Later I tried to re approach her but it was kind of awkward, I think in part because she is always with his male friend and then because I saw her giving some other guy her number; so I kind of avoided her thereon. Still, I need to learn to handle awkwardness or how to behave with girl after I messed up with something. Practice I suppose.

Anyway going back to that night, I remember there was another girl with whom I danced and had some talk, I could have number closed (she lived in my city too). The interaction was good, she was hooked and kept talking to me and holding my hand even when I stopped dancing, yet I didn't push further. At that moment I wasn't very convinced, in part because she had a haircut I disliked and in part because I thought the girl I mentioned before would see it. Reflecting back on that I think I should have gone for it anyway (and apply that devil may care attitude), yet it's done.

Overall I think it was a good night nonetheless. I tried to be very social , and practiced complimenting girls, some flirting and deep diving plus I talked to guys just for entertainment. At the end I just felt very sociable and popular (?) because people was initiating conversations (after they saw me dance and flirt with girls). It is a feeling I don't frequent and I'm not very used to yet.

...

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Ergon,

Man, it's a great initiative of yours to start this journal and embark into improving yourself. It's OK that you didn't update this journal as regularly as you initially meant. We all have many other things happening in our lives, and only 24 hours in a day. What matters is that you don't give up and keep spending as much time as you can on self improvement, until you start to see results.

Just to mention my own experience, I discovered Girls Chase sometimes in summer 2012, and I had two years of reading it avidly, internalizing the readings, and working on my fundamentals. So, my first two years were on my beliefs system and fundamentals. I started to take actions towards dating, from June 2014 onward. It's also about the same time that I stopped watching porn - tried the nofap thing for three months, but after that my addiction was cured. I started getting dates consistently in October 2014. From January 2015 I got into a situation where I would constantly have at least three girls chatting me on my phone every day. It's only in August 2015 that I learned the "first time pull home" and started getting laid consistently. "Girls like me" is a belief that I have fully internalized now, what a big change since I started. But I still have much more to learn. There are new challenges down the road.

Now about your post. It seems it was a successful night overall. You got to speak to many people and it will help you building the social confidence. You need more of this.

About the girls. The girl of "beginning of night" was not into you. Maybe she was initially (when she gave you her number), but not anymore. Because you didn't take action in a timely manner. The touchy girl from the dance floor, was into you. The lingering touch is a big hint. This is as much of a hint you'll ever get from girls. But you didn't take her number. If you see her next time, chances are she will be cold. Lesson: you need to capitalize on leads very quick, or it's gone. It's the expiring attraction window, remember. (Hey, if you see her next time, you still *should* try as if nothing happened, anyway).

Instead of pursuing the girls you like, it's much more useful to go for the girls who like you. You need to lower your standards and take more girls, exactly like Chase wrote. By having plenty of girls 6 or above, you will get plenty of positive data points on your learning curve, that will help you much more in your learning. In my case I had girls between 6 and 8 / 9. Surprise, the best ones in bed are not necessarily the 8s.

About awkwardness. The key word is *uber cool*. If you mishandled something before, try to act as if nothing happened. If you don't, you'll be awkward. If you act awkward you're acknowledging there was a problem in the first place. If you acknowledge a problem, it becomes real. By staying cool in the face of problems, I have managed a few times to bring things on track. If I had acted awkward, or worse, freaked out (like I used to do), it would have been lost forever.

I hope this helps. Again, seems it was a positive night overall, you need more of this. Keep up the good work, it's just the beginning of a learning process!

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[Ergon]

In Vancouver

Thanks for sharing Seppuku! Your advice is very encouraging and always on point. I certainly should capitalize on all opportunities and not be that choosy. A natural friend of mine had told me precisely that a few months before, yet that night I forgot.

Ok, so I think I wrote a lot for today, but I had to write it down...
After a good weekend, I tried to go out do some day game but to no avail. I'm still apprehensive of approaching. I went out two days during the following week and could only say hi to a few girls.
Over the weekend, however, I had a few good interactions.

I planned a short vacation to Vancouver, Canada and over there I first approached a cute girl in an stadium, after a football game, Canada vs. my country. She was working pointing the spectators to their seats, etc. I opened very indirectly asking for her advice on clubs and places to visit on her city, then I asked her name, and deep dive a little bit. I thought about asking her number but then my father (who came with me to the game) interfered, so I didn't feel comfortable asking her anything, and I said goodbye.

I talked to a girl briefly on the elevator back to the hotel. Later that night I went to a club (by myself) a few blocks from my hotel with the music I like to dance to, and there was a really long line to get in.
While waiting I approached a girl that was alone and was behind me. I don't remember what I told her anymore but the interaction was okay. She was from Turkey studying English and her English wasn't the best, nor mine neither a that time (my English and my conversation falter a lot when I get tired). So when some friend of her arrived, I got on the background and she tried to engage me a little bit from time to time, but I wasn't enjoying it, so I engaged some girls in front of me who spoke my language.

Lets call one Andrea, from my country, and Dani from Ecuador. The one that interest me was Dani. I talked with them for a while and another friend of them from Colombia arrived (she was ok, but very dismissive).

Anyway, we entered the club and I danced a little with each of the girls I had met. Eventually they moved around and several times I tried to talk to other girls, move around, etc. There I noticed I'm terrible at club game because all night I could only dance with two girls beside the ones I met before entering the club. At the end of the night, I had to wait in line to retrieve my coat, but Dani was about to leave. I pulled her and made out with her and told her to wait with me in line. She did and I got my coat back. Outside her friends were waiting and I sort of stick with her for a while. She and her friends were about to leave. I told Dani I needed her number and my cell phone was dead. I pulled her to join me in my hotel, she followed, and then her friend Andrea came along also.

I managed to get them both in my room, but then I didn't know what to do. After a few minutes they were about to leave, I pulled Dani into the bathroom and started making out with her again, while her friend just repeated: "Let's go". I didn't know what to do with her friend being there. Dani said "I really have to leave, I need to take my friend to the airport tomorrow", so after three or four times she said she had to leave I let her go, and that was it for the night.

Next day, in the evening, I made my very first approach on the street. It was very indirect though. I pre-opened her touching her arm before asking her if she was a local and what clubs did she recommend. I noticed she was really cute. At some point she asked if maybe I could give her a dime or something like that for her bus, I just said "It depends, is the place your recommending really that good?" And then I continue talking, and the conversation was flowing, I was deep diving, but I understood at some point that she was going to meet some friends to go to a club at a different area, so I didn't asked her to come with me and I saw no point in asking her number. After a few minutes I said I was going to let her continue with her day, she said "Bye Ergon" while touching my arm and with a big smile. I think those were some good signs. Unlike the day before I was feeling really good and lucid at that moment.

Nonetheless, my momentum didn't last. I grabbed dinner and a beer at some hidden local and then went to hit the clubs. At some club I met a group of Nigerian guys who were chill. We entered the club but was still empty. The Nigerian guys invited me to some pub to grab a beer before returning to the club (and they invited me the drink, since we talked about how little money I exchanged because I didn't know things were much more expensive in Canada). Back in the club I tried to dance with some girls and open them. I was rejected all night. This was the first time I was in a hip-hop club, and it was very unsuccessful. I don't like hip hop very much either, and I think that unconsciously affected my performance. Yet Chase recommended to diversify venues and groups of people when starting to building social savvy, so I guess I built experience.
After a couple hours I walked a bit through the city, then returned home, and the next day I returned to my city.

 

[Ergon]

A bit of day 7

This was a pretty long weekend. I scheduled Friday and Saturday to go out in advance, and well…
Friday wasn't too good. I walked around for some time in the Park, in the mall and downtown, but I made zero approaches.

First I saw a girl walking in the opposite direction, thought about asking her where the X students bar was, but I didn't.
Then I saw a hot redhead combing her hair, looking herself against the windows (of the place I think she worked and had just closed). Couldn't think of anything and didn't tell her anything.
Then the girl of the last field report (A) invited me to go the dance social that night. I went because it seemed as if I was avoiding her, since she had invited me to a few parties before. I danced and talked with several girl including the one who invited me. I didn't pay her much attention, and in fact I feel I acted too nonchalant and a bit rough. It was because I have it hard with my lack of abundance mentality; no dates nor anything last two weeks, and I've felt a drop in my confidence ,my flirting and conversation abilities.
There was a Philippine girl who seemed pretty interested in me. I could have asked her number but I didn't because A was there, although I don't know why did it matter.
Anyway, I left a bit early, grabbed a drink and went home.

On Saturday however I went out again. I was feeling tired cause I couldn't sleep well and I was demoralized by the night before.
In the main downtown plaza I saw a quite cute girl, sitting. She was sitting in some stairs. I thought of approaching and I positioned myself close, but I chickened out. She still sat there for about 15 minutes and I couldn't approach. Then I saw a girl sitting nearby who I thought was checking me out, walked directly to her, sat beside her and opened:

"Hey, I saw you sitting here, and I though you were cute and I had to say hi. My name is Ergon"
"I'm Sarah"
"Sarah, it seems as if you were waiting for someone. What brings you here?"
She then babbled something about waiting for her boyfriend who would get out in an hour and something else I don't remember.
I asked If she was going to wait one hour for her boyfriend and she answered that she just liked to watch the people and read outside. I asked a few more boring questions and learnt that she had just moved into the city with her boyfriend and she wasn't working nor studying. I asked about what was in a box she had and she showed me a funny looking pie-pizza; I teased her a little bit about it and a few minutes later I just told her I had to go meet a friend and said goodbye.
The whole interaction was very awkward and my conversation kind of sucked, but I feel pretty darn good about it being my second day approach ever, and my first using direct opener.

Later I went to a café and there was a pretty cute waitress, she seemed warm and had a nice smile.
I drank a café au lait and then asked for the check. When she brought me my change she asked me:
"Hablas espanol"
(Me, kinda surprised) "Si, de donde eres?" (where are you from?)
"Chihuahua, y tu?"
"X city. Y como te llamas?" (and what's your name?)
"Lucia"

Here I blanked and I don't know why on earth I didn't say more. I think back and I could have said something like "I would ask for your number but you seem busy" or whatever. Some days I just don't have it, and my brain is off.

Later I went to a club with live music and electronic music with Latin rhythms.
At the beginning I was just sitting and drinking beer while watching the live show. Then the band finished and the dj started playing, so I went dancing with some girls. There was one who I liked and told me she was old enough that I could be her son. She insisted many times how old I was, and I did ended up telling her, but maybe I could have made it into a chase frame or something. She asked me if I was dancing since I was 4 years old, and I told her only for a few months. We were also dancing pretty close, but the alcohol betrayed me, so my game was awful.

Then I danced with a girl from Honduras, and at first she didn't seemed very interested, but when I started talking in Spanish with her, she lighted up and soon she was locking hands with me. Then again, due to the alcohol I don't know what happened.

A bit minutes later a girl opened me. I was ordering a drink at the same time as her; I don't remember what she told me but I went sat with her. My conversation was poor, I asked for her number, I tried to kiss her and at some point she got mad at me because I confused her name and walked away.

Then I don't know what happened at all. I was walking around the dance floor, but I woke up in a sobering station, several blocks away from the club. I feel very embarrassed because I don't know how I really ended, if I passed out in the middle of the dance floor, if I threw up or what not. Not only did alcohol damaged my entire game, but I humiliated myself immensely. Thus from now on I promise not to drink beyond one or two beers for any given night, although preferably no alcohol. I also want to start avoiding coffee because I think it lowers my energy days after I consume it, and it isn't worth it.

In conclusion:
-I have to work on my conversation again. Reading difficult books, as well as imagining and writing conversations has helped me in the past.
-I have to keep approaching. Next weekend it will have to be at least 2 girls.
-I can't control my alcohol, next time I go out, I'll just have a drink the whole night (but I think I won't go clubbing at least for the next couple of weeks to let my ego heal)
-I also have to learn how to handle the age question since I've been getting that too often lately.

Until next post.

 

[Ergon]

"Half off" week

Time to report again.
After what felt for me like a very draining weekend, as described in my last report, I thought I would have to take a week off to recover mentally and physically. I wasn't planning on doing any approach or date whatsoever, yet it turned out I had to do a few fortuitous ones.

On Tuesday I was on the bus back home from school when a girl from class started talking to me. Again I wasn't feeling talkative, but we talked and although my conversation dropped a lot at the end, I asked for her number, we texted and I invited her out for Friday.
I noticed then that even though I still have difficulties making conversation with people I can now have certain conversations in autopilot for 3-5 minutes due to practice. I can envision myself in the future with hundreds of more interactions under my belt being able to hold good conversations even when tired and drained due to sheer practice and exposure.

On Wednesday I surprisingly approached 3 girls without planning to because: first It was poem-in-your-pocket day, and me being in a literature class had to go out and give free poems to people at school for about 30 min during class. This made me gain a lot of momentum and I approached a girl to give her a poem (which wasn't as lame as it sounds) and got her number, then I approached a girl I saw a class before without giving her anything and the interaction was pretty good, but I didn't get her number because my instructor was nearby (so it didn't feel right). Then on my way back home I flirted and talked with a latina girl giving away brochures for some cell phone company and I got her number.

I didn't get a date from either of these numbers and I'm not sure why, so I'll probably make a report on those. But one thing I noticed, particularly from the last girl I spoke with, is that I am not so good talking nor texting in Spanish, even though it was my first language for 17 years. For one thing, I didn't start talking with lots of girl and being very sociable until I was in the US, moreover I have focused in English only and not practiced my language this last few years. I'd really like to build it up though and regain my skills on it because I encounter Latin-American girl once in a while, I travel back to my country once every year, and I also used to be somewhat eloquent In it (albeit not very savvy back then). So I'll make time to read and practice for a few hours every week from now on.

Lastly on Thursday I saw on class, briefly, the girl I invited on a date for Friday, she didn't wear any makeup nor had a very good hairdo that day so she didn’t look too good .Now I mentioned before, and even Seppuku recommended to lower my standards, but I had my reservations and I cancelled Friday saying I didn't feel to well. First I thought she was borderline cute, but after Thursday I felt she is a little under that. She also mentioned she is around thirty one, which I don't know what implies (she looks younger and goes to college). Then I felt she was chasing and texting me a bit too much; however she proposed to meet Tuesday because there will be no class that day, and since she is the one insisting I'll probably give it a chance and see how it turns out. I am not very willing and I suspect she might be... well.. crazy? cluster b?, but only having the experience will I know what to do in the future for good or for bad.

Nothing more to add save I took the weekend off and lets see how this week turns out after resting and returning to my healthy routine.

 

[Ergon]

Hey fellas!
I been meaning to write an update on my journal this last week, but I was just too busy going out and writing papers for school.I forgot a few details, but here's what I remember that happened this last two weeks:

I met the girl from my class I flaked on. We met, I took her to a coffee shop, we went looking for a drop box for a package she wanted to drop, then I took her to a small bar and I drank a beer while she drank a ginger ale. Then we went back to the light rail station and I invited her home. I made my first successful pull!
Unfortunately escalating I didn't handle things perfectly. I played a movie and after 10 or 15 minutes I kissed her, but then I think I tried to push things too much and after 1 hour she wanted to leave and was also angry saying I was trying to push it. Will definitely write a field report on this giving more details soon as get more time. I still see her on class and she doesn't say a word to me lol, I think I really screwed up. But at least I learned something.

Anyway, I went out to a local dance joint that weekend. It was Colombian night and there was a lot of Colombian girls in there, not too shabby.
I didn't feel like going out much though, so to compensate I drank some alcohol although this time I asked my uncles (who actually invited me there) to keep me in check.

After feeling the booze a little bit I started dancing with different girls and chatting them a little. I danced with several alright girls and some chubby ones. Then I tried to dance with some prettier ones. There was a Colombian that looked stunning and I tried to approach her asking her if I had seen her somewhere before and trying to make her dance at the same time, but she didn't comply at all so I moved on. Later I danced with a Cuban, but she kind of intimidated me and I didn't know what to say.

Then I danced with an American girl, really cute. I deep dived her and we danced pretty close to each other, sometimes cheek to cheek. I thought about kissing her but when getting closer to her lips she moved her head back, so I thought there was no point (I though also for the kind of venue it wasn't that appropriate, although now that I remember I do have seen people doing that there before…) I didn't know where to move her, since there was nowhere to sit so I asked her number there in the dance floor haha.
I think I could have moved her to the bar to have a drink, but I moved on and approached other girls.

I met a Mexican and a Colombian and I got their numbers, but I'm not sure If that was ok, or if it was silly. I remember catching a glimpse of some girl sort of laughing at me having seen me ask numbers twice. Maybe next time I'll only grab one or two number from girls mildly interested and focus on escalating and making things happen with girls at night.

Later on when the venue was closing I sent an icebreaker to the tree girls that gave me their number.
Only the American girl replied: "we are at 7 eleven, want gum?"
I said "on my way"
I headed out and found her with her friend sitting at some bench. We chatted and then I tried to figure out logistics or something, but both girls weren't being very clear. At some point I said let's go; we were kind of confused but headed to their car. Then they just insisted on giving me a ride instead of going to their place. Then when we got to a third of the way there when they just wanted to drop me off and help me find a taxi or an uber instead. Thus I got off on a main avenue and said goodbye. It was kind of akward but still the girl got off the car and I don't remember what we talked; I feel she was expecting me to kiss her (she was a bit drunk), but I only kissed her on the cheek and fare them well. Then I called one of my uncles to give me a ride and he was just a few blocks away.

It was definitely a bit humiliating, but definitely a great experience. I think I been accumulating experiences and maybe at some point I'll figure it out. Meanwhile… I'll take a break from going out at night; it messes up with my sleep patterns for the whole week and affects my productiveness. I'll try to be healthier once again and focus on my fundamentals and day game instead. ( I know, I been saying that since last month, but I'll stick to it)

Some other notes:

I saw I guy from one of my classes on Colombian night and he's got some fundamentals (like really worthy of taking note of it). He has style, he has excellent voice and speaks clearly in class. Excellent non-verbals, dominance and charisma. I even saw the prettiest girls on class showing some signs of interest on him. That's why I'm motivated to work harder on my fundamentals now. Mine are getting good, but seeing this guy I have more points of reference now for at what level I want to get.

I been reading Darius articles, blog and other sources for fashion. I'm planning on buying some clothes next week and build a sexy image. Right now I only dress average, and I think too "nice guy". I'm thinking jeans, leather jacket, scoop neck shirts, and a good pair of boots.

My whole goal this May will be my fundamentals and some day game only. I'm going to the gym, eating and sleeping well, meditation and reading (not school related stuff) as much as I can. Also some exercises for my voice and pronunciation as well as video record my facial gestures. Friday and Saturday going out early for day game. Doing day 7 and up of the newbie assignment.

Reference points starts to make sense now. Now that I have a few approaches stacked up, I look back at them and come up with new ideas at random during the day; what could I've done, say, etc. I only need to write them down a lot more on a pad cause otherwise I forget soon.

 

[Ergon]

The drought before the breakthrough?

So for some reason this month I let everything die off.

I had had some progress. From February to the beginning of May I worked a little harder, went out several weekends and got really good outcome: a handful of indirect cold approaches, one direct cold approach, several numbers, a few dates, a pair of make outs and a pair of pulls from a mix of day game and night game. A bit of everything except a lay although I think it wasn't long before that.

By the end of April I had a failed escalation at my place with a girl that failed because I didn't escalate smoothly after the kiss, then another date with a girl giving brochures in the street. The latter being a bit strange because I would asked her out and she wouldn't answer (all by text), but she would re initiate texting later. The third time I just said let's go for some Ice cream and after some exchange she agreed, but unexpectedly she brought her sister, and besides that we couldn't relate much. After an hour she just said she had to do some homework and that was it. (I mentioned this approach during my "half off week"; turns out it wasn't lost)

Anyway, in May I stopped going out for day game, night game, took the month off from Latin dance classes, and only went out for school and groceries. I kind of isolated myself.
The reasons? Mainly laziness, bad time management, and self sabotage. I also needed to replenish and I also needed to catch up with school, sleep well again, eat well again and lift weight again(things I've done the last two weeks, although I had to stick with a strict routine for that) I needed to improve my wardrobe because I only have one decent outfit lately (something not solved yet since I'm low on money). I took the month off from salsa because I didn't want to see the girl from my FU report (it's still a bit painful to remember) and to save some money.

However, this week suddenly I noticed I had stalled improvement and that I lost all momentum. It's being difficult to approach and even have conversations again.

This Monday a cute girl from one class smiled at me, while walking opposites directions. I was looking slightly over line of sight, and then I saw she smiled, and it took me a while to notice and smile back.
Then I bump into a girl from a class last term that I later re approached but didn't get the number (for some valid reason). I say hi, she seemed like she wanted to chat, and instead of stopping to chat and ask her out, I cut the interaction short and go to class (what was I thinking?).
The next day I was walking up a steep hill in my campus, out of breath, and then a blond catch my attention. I think she looks at me smiling and semi-laughing at my fatigue; I don't approach and keep walking.
Then I'm on the bus with some classmates and I act kind of socially awkward not contributing much to the conversation, all in front of a very cute girl from class.
Finally after they get off the bus, a hot girl sits next to me, and I didn't approach. She could have changed seats (it's what would normally happen), but she stayed next to me. She had headphones so I used that as a pretext to not talk. After 20 minutes she gets off the bus.

The week was not successful and I need to take action once more, be proactive. What I plan to do now?

I am applying for a job at my college, seems like the only way to muster up the money for new garments and for a car which will definitely make things easier for logistics. (I'll take easy classes, though, to still have time for approaches and dates ).

I recently saw the article about testosterone optimization. I will try to adopt some advice from there and do the no fap for 2 weeks also. Sounds hard but I think is possible.

I am going back to dance lessons next week, and going out this Friday.

I'm to the neckline in school projects this weekend, but hopefully next weekend I can approach at least Sunday, during the day

(I know, this is supposed to be a journal for the newbie assignment and I still dream of finish it to the letter)

 

[Ergon]

Improving fundamentals

I wrote about a nocturnal outing in here: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=14045&p=71155#p71155

Besides what I describe there, there were also two other interactions worth noting.

I approached and danced with a Guatemalan girl that looked cute and friendly.
I deep dived, she teased me with some things about myself, but each time I replied with something very witty (because they were things I've heard before). I asked her if the girl with her was her friend, and she told me it was her mom. I decided that I wouldn't move her because of that, but would try to kiss her. When the song ended I wanted to say good bye and grabbed her chin, but I hesitated at the last moment and I ended giving her half a peck. I even noticed she reciprocated as if I were to kiss her appropriately. After the peck she still gave me a hug and kiss in the cheek.
Lesson learned, I shouldn't doubt about making a move or I'll end up disappointing the girl.

At the end of the night, after my colossal fail with the blond girl, I approached a girl a bit reluctant to dance with me. I tried to be dominant and address her objections until we finally danced. At the end of one song she said she had to go to the bathroom. I looked skeptical and said ok. She said "No, for real. I'll be back". So I said "Ok I might be over there" I talked with some friends meanwhile, grabbed my coat somewhere else to leave the place and then I saw her talking with my friends. I inserted myself and don't know what I said, but at some point I tried to tease her with something but I looked silly instead. We went outside and when there was just the two of us I suggested we meet someday. She said a day four days from that day. I said ok, what your number and here I screwed up. I joked saying something like don't give me that fake number girl usually give, and called her to make sure it was the right number. I soon realized that was stupid because she had agreed to meet me already, and I sounded very player-ish and/or insecure so when I texted her the ice breaker and later a follow up, there was no reply.

During these weeks I haven't done as much as I wanted, but I did worked on my fundamentals.
I worked on them with what I mentioned in my last post, and particularly the no fap for a few days gave a lot of energy and some sort of extra confident aura.

One day I was running in my neighborhood and a beautiful girl smiled at me as I passed her, I smiled back and said hi.
Another day running errands downtown, as I walked in opposite direction, I gave an attractive girl a sexy smile with firm eye contact, and she looked down, smiled and flipped her hair. I thought her reaction was very endearing.
On another occasion, In my college's bookstore a girl that was working there asked me if I needed help finding something. I said that I was checking prices for next term and she responded something like "Oh planning ahead. that's a good idea". She was smiling and from her non-verbals she was trying to flirt with me. I probably could've chat her up some more, if it wasn't because I had had 0 hours of sleep that day writing a paper due that same day.
On the bus sitting almost in front of a girl, she was almost eating me with her eyes. I was talking with a classmate though, so I didn’t approach.

Anyway, all signs that my fundamentals are improving, but not a single cold approach during the day, something I promised myself I would master (instead of night game which is what I've been doing).

 

[Ergon]

Update

Wow, it's been a while.
I'm back and I just wanted to report what's been up with me.

Basically, after not doing anything since my last post, except catching up with school, taking care of my health and my fundamentals a little bit, my skills returned almost to where they were when I started. I have trouble talking with women again and the usual places where I had to interact with them have been scarce: at school there's only two girls in class, and in my dance studio there's been only the same few women I already know, and I also felt my motivation dropped since the excitement and the novelty of GC has faded.

So... noticing that plus a few wake up calls, I arranged to practice street game, three days per week, once more. With or without motivation. After not getting myself to do a single approach the first three days out, I managed to approach a girl at the bookstore today (Saturday) complimenting her boots, and later tonight I did some approaches at a bar.

This time I promised myself I wouldn't stop approaching any week and only move forward henceforth. Tomorrow (Sunday) I should rest and do whatever I need to do at home, then Monday my goal is to do one more day approach than last time: two approaches, direct or indirect direct. Let's see if I can do more…

 

[Ergon]

Fun stories, social savvy and more approaches (part 1)

'Sup mates!

Finally got me some time to write down and post again. These past 10 days have been definitely busy. Too many things happened, so I’ll break it into several posts.

I said I was going to go out Monday. I did Tuesday. And I said I was going to do 2 approaches but I did none. Some story I got out of it though, so it was still worth it.

I really pushed myself to go out that day, even though I felt really awful, mentally speaking (for a lot of reasons). I tried to get me in a good mood, so I went downtown first to buy me my favorite Thai dish. I later went to check the main square and maybe do an approach. I felt lifeless and I thought maybe a change of environment would do me some good. I took the train and it started to rain. I began to doubt whether I should go check that street with a lot of nice bars and stores I had only been once before, or go home; then I saw some bulky guy, a bit older than me, playing Pokémon on his cellphone, getting visibly nervous when some girl had to sit in the seat next to him and I thought – I am not that different from that guy looking awkward and stuff. That made me not give up so I went to walk the street mentioned, under rain (which luckily was tolerable), then finally grabbed a beer at a cozy-looking bar and it turned out it had the best beer I've tried (although I haven't tried many).

But here’s the interesting lump of the story: A lady, 20 years older than me, and not attractive, asked if she could sit at the spot next to me. I said it was okay. She ordered her drink and a moment later she asked me what I was drinking. I responded and then asked her something to continue conversation (I think something about a book she was carrying). I really just wanted to chat, maybe warm up. The conversation went on and I got a bit warm with the beer. Long story short, she started flirting with me, and told me about one man she met on tinder and how really he was putting no effort inviting her for sex (the second date), so she just ignored him. She said how she really loved sex but blah, blah. She was visiting the city, staying at x place, and, well, the conversation was that leading to pull already.

Well then, why didn’t you just do that you might ask? Certainly I shouldn’t be picky if I want to improve, and I feel I am not too much, but in this case it was a no, no. As I said. This lady was 20 years older than me, overweight, had an unpleasant voice and was definitely not attractive (save maybe her eyes which I complimented indirectly). Men, it was so bizarre but I was enjoying my beer and I thought the situation was amusing so I got out of there until I finished my drink. It was a bit awkward, and when paying the check the bartender asked me if I was paying just mine. Asshole haha. I still gave that lady a hug and got out of there feeling fucking whacky.

Moral of the story: always set a time to go out in advance, with some goals, and follow through. Even if you fail you never know what crazy story you might end up with.

Still on the street, I bumped into a girl I’ve seen at dancing and she told me she had just taken a class of X dance at the studio just behind us, recently open. I needed to use the bathroom so I asked her more and then where the bathroom was. I ran to the bathroom, and then I went to ask for info. I liked it and I took a second class this week. The teachers were also very friendly.

At this point, it's probably obvious I spend a lot of time with dancing and related stuff. I really first tried it for a change and meet people, but it had brought me benefits socially and with girls. It is useful stuff so I would like to write just about this and what it have taught me so far; however...

Coming next: some juicier stories (approaches) and a few realizations over the past weekend...

 

[Ergon]

(part 2)

Since my outing Tuesday hadn't been successful I pushed myself to try again over the weekend. I still had to do at least two approaches. A friend invited me to go hiking with a group of friends of his on Saturday. Unfortunately it was cancelled, but we still chilled at my house, ate, and planned something for later.

The Park

We decided to go to this event, dancing in the park downtown, in the afternoon. There we found a medium size group of people and we watched for a while. There were some acquaintances there. Some friends of my friend, a couple of around 40, from my country, hung out with us. I talked with them a lot and they were actually fun. At the end of the event they actually invited us to go to a XV party and then to a dance venue. We agreed.

Still, before that there was a girl around 18 or 19 watching the people dancing from afar. I did something very bold for what I'm used to, I asked her to come to where I was and told her that she looked interested in dancing and that she should dance with me. I did this commandingly, but I think I intimidated her and she just said no and went hiding. Later, part of her family arrived and I saw her trying to dance in a corner and caught her looking at me timidly. I didn't reapproached her because after being so bold I thought being also persistent would come off too strong. (?)

Later I approached another girl close to where I was who was recording the people dancing. I saw her reject a guy inviting her to dance.
I opened from the side and said "Are you a journalist". Kind of a silly opener but better than not approaching at all, lol. She said no I'm recording because bla bla bla. I asked her to dance, but declined (don't know why I asked since she probably didn't know nor wanted to and that's why she rejected the guy before). I said "ok". But I continued to talk, and introduced myself also. Then it went something like:

Me: Do you dance any kind of music
Her: Not really.
Me: Well, you seem interested in this kind of dancing.
Her: Looks fun
Me: Do you know Spanish?
Her: No, I don't
Me: You're missing a lot of the culture. Didn't you had to learn a language in college.

…

So she studied German. Ach so, sprichst du Deutsch? -Ein bisschen (with surprised face). She was doing her master at the local university and teaching. Something like politics/business - You train bureaucracy, nice. At some point she says she has to go meet with a friend, and I say "we should grab a coffee this week", she says yeah and I get her number. A bit more than an hour later I texted her:

"Glad to have met you - Ergon"

And I received no reply. At least I had warmed up for later.

 

[Ergon]

(part 3)

The party

After the event ended, we went to a XV party (a common celebration for Latin girls). Me and my friend danced a song, very typical in these kind of parties, and it seemed we were the only ones who could keep up with the speed of the song. This probably worked as social proof or something. Later I just sat drinking soda waiting until the dj played the music I like and know how to dance. At some point two girls stopped beside our table and one whispered something to the other while looking at me, went to the dance floor and danced together.
Pretty obvious approach invitation here, but I waited and then when the style of music changed, the girl I was interested in returned to her table. I just walked to her and got her to the dance floor.

She didn't know how to dance the music playing, I just did simple steps and talked to her. She was actually nervous, and her hands trembled a little at some point. I wanted to know if she was actually over 18, so at some relevant point in the conversation I said "you must have learned X thing in high School, you're still high school don't you?" and she immediately replied "no, I'm in X college, bla bla"(qualifying herself). I could assume she was 19 then. At some point I just moved her back at her table to talk, but I was sweating too much after dancing. I said you know "let's go get some air outside". It was kind of awkward moving her from the dance floor, to her table and then to the entrance at the other side of the room.

Still, she complied and I still moved her from the hall to some bench outside. After some talk I kissed her. We talked for about 10 minutes outside and I was getting cold and she too (she had a very thin blouse and mini skirt). I thought, shit, we re going back inside.

This was my biggest mistake of the night. We were outside, in the park. I could've just tell her "let's go on an adventure" and take her somewhere hidden. I kissed her on three occasions while outside, but I didn't isolate. I didn't get her number neither and when we went back inside I took her to her table. Then her sister and her went to the bathroom and my friends decided a minute later they were going to a dance venue elsewhere. I had no option but to go with them.

Grabbing dinner

At the dance venue we went later I just danced a little bit and sat seeing other people dance. Everyone there danced really well, way beyond my level and difficult dances like cha cha cha (which I don't like that much). The girls there were also about 30 or older, perfect for my friend since he is like 34 and dances well.

The venue closed (at 1 pm) and my friend, the couple I talked about earlier, and a group of friends of the couple, joined us to a place with a lot of food carts. It was a pretty nice place with some sort of structures that burned like bonfires beside each table. I was feeling kind of sad, but also trilled of my adventures the whole day. Many groups of girls were arriving at this place.

At one point a girl stood nearby a cart waiting for her food, and I went to stand just beside her, let her look at me first and then I just opened with a direct compliment. She said thanks and I introduced myself. I commented the place was pretty nice and how it was my first time there. She asked where I was from, etc., etc. She was asking and I was answering for about 2 minutes. Then her food was ready, and I learned she was from another city and it was her last day at my city. I thought there was nothing to do then, so I said goodbye.

I wrote more about this here: viewtopic.php?f=3&t=14307
She commented she was going to come back or something like that, which made me wonder if that was a hint I could've asked her number to plan something for when she came back? I thought about it too late, though.

Anyway, that was my whole day. A very long day and a very long writing. I just realized I wrote to much and I put too much irrelevant detail. From now on I'll try to be succinct, and prioritize approaches where at least I number-closed/ isolated/ kissed the girl. Less than that just one or two sentences , if at all.

Lessons learned:
- It's the third time a girl it's really excited about me, complying, giving me the doe eyes and I just freeze. I need to memorize several examples of doing this to do it without thinking (much). One could be "hey, let's go on an adventure" and another way is Anatman's method here:
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=14076&p=71268#p71268
"Have you ever fucked in public?".
- I shouldn't worry too much about my first two or three approaches. Once I warm up my night goes pretty well . I just need to find a way to actually start with the warm-ups consistently. Also, I need to begin with cold approaches, direct or semi direct; indirect/asking a girl to dance/just socializing approaches don't bring me that initial confidence.

 

[Ergon]

Slow weeks and day 8 (part 1/ 2)

So… last weekend I managed to do the Day 8 challenge of the newbie assignment: 2 sitting down approaches in one day. I haven't done day 7 properly, but I've done more than 4 approaches with direct overall, so I guess that counts?...

Ok, ok, my next goal is to do 4 direct in a single day.

A month and half is probably too much for one small assignment, but bear with me, I've doing other things as well.

Mindsets
After neglecting the "social arts" the first three weeks of August, I decided to go out to pick up where I left off with cold approach. I scheduled three afternoons per week and I went out as planned the first two weeks, but I did zero approaches. I've done cold approaches before as per my past posts, yet I wasn't able now. Why?

For one thing, I had a bad acne outbreak, which affected my confidence, but I managed to control it by keeping bed sheets and towels extra clean, washing my face twice per day and only using water. There were also other reasons, perhaps valid or not, such as wanting to focus on fundamentals and re-adopting healthy habits. (For example, I been going to the gym 3x each week consistently now).

However, the main reason, I later realized, was that I only wanted to approach if I was on state (or flow or what have you). Usually caffeine, alcohol, or a long nap help, but I didn't want to depend on anything unsustainable, and I wanted to build consistency, so I said no props and no excuses.

This change, effectively, made me less reliant on state, but unable to approach at first.
Yet, after going out several days, wasting hours and hours (that I won't have when back to classes) and after pussying out so much, I managed to approach again. Approaching-to-fail and Shoot-first-ask-questions-later, began to click.

Approaches
But first, I have to say, all these this time I haven't really stopped approaching. During the "slow weeks" I did one or two social circle approaches that didn't pan out. I also made a girl-friend from a social circle I'm in, with whom I practice a bunch of flirting, sexual tension and touching, but still strictly platonic due to the nature of the social circle itself.

On another occasion a lady-friend, from my country, 12 years older than me, invited me to a stylish winery/dance venue. I approached like 5 different girls, asked the number of one that was in one of my classes in college, but although she responded to my icebreaker, she declined my offer to meet saying "I'm too busy this week, how about next one?" (I had asked her out by suggesting a language exchange). "Sounds good" I replied.

Moreover, another night I went to a dance club by myself, feeling crappy. Only after getting a bit drunk I opened several girls, and then there was one girl I had a good rapport going on, but when she invited me to join her with her friends I declined, I don’t know why…
And at the end of the night I just made out with a girl I didn't find attractive.

Anyway, the reasons why I didn't felt satisfied with these approaches is because
1. I don't consider social circle and night game true cold approaches
2. They’re not part of the newbie assignment
3. I want to focus on day game first.

So I scheduled the outings to practice day game as mentioned before and…

1.
By the third weekend I thought it was ridiculous I had wasted so much time out in the streets without approaching a single girl, so on Sunday, almost before going home at night, I saw a girl by herself, and after convincing myself to just "approach and fail" for almost 3 minutes, I went "sit and open". She hadn't seen me because I was sitting on a stair behind her. I opened with "hey there… I just saw you sitting here and I thought you were cute, and I had to say hi". Her reaction was like oh! laughing a little but not really impressed. I think I even forgot to say my name immediately and asked her what she was up to instead (my mistake since it's better to exchange names as fast as possible, I believe). The conversation was just okay, I couldn't never fully engage her. Then, I asked how was her schedule that week, and she said she could meet Tuesday. We exchanged phones but when leaving I told her

Me: "see you Tuesday then?"
Her "Thursday".
Me "Thursday? Mmm I don't know if I can Thursday" [I am legit busy every Thursday].
Her "Well, maybe Friday, then"
Me "We figure that out later".

30 min later I sent an icebreaker: "Wonderful to meet you, new friend -Ergon". She didn't reply.

2.
Next week, I went through almost the same thing, the first two days I didn't approach, but on Sunday I managed to approach a girl in a bookstore with "do you know where the equestrian sports section is?". I pre-opened pretending I was checking the books next to her, then two girls appeared before I said anything so I waited until she changed to the other end of the lane and delivered my opener. I then noted she was actually quite pretty and got nervous. I asked what she was up to (I probably need a new question to follow the introduction, lol)

Her "It is my birthday, so I'm buying me a book"
Me "Oh that’s nice of you" [I was rusty haha] "No party afterwards?"

She said she didn't have one planned.
I asked her if she was going to college, and she said she was going to high school. Then I asked her how old she was turning that day, and she answered 16. She looked uncomfortable and got out her cell phone at the end. I then said "It was nice meeting you, have a good day" and I left. I thing I could have departed bit more graciously, but I was surprisingly nervous during the whole interaction.

3.
Same day, feeling low cause I had only made an approach, I decided to go to a bar I've never been before which always looked busy. I ordered and the bargirl asked me if I came for the event next room. I said I didn't know there was one; it was Latin folklore, perfect! I drank my beer and then got in line to buy a ticket for the event. I made some chat with a guy in line. Then I had another beer (in hindsight, here's where I began to drink too much).
I was nursing my drink just waiting for the opening band to start when some girl positioned herself in front of where I was. After a few minutes I noticed she was alone so I tapped her shoulder and asked if she was familiar with the band that was playing…

"This is the opening band isn't?"
"Yes they are"
"Yeah, because I thought it was Latin folklore music… this doesn't sound anything like that"

I think that after discussing who the main band was going to be we exchanged names. I asked her where she was from, what was her profession etc. When she asked back where I was from I teased her (I usually can tease a lot about it), then she asked me what I did [for a living] and I teased her saying I was homeless and unemployed (credit to Grand Pooba). I think she kind of believed it even though I was smiling when I told her.

"I just convince people… or seduced them to have somewhere to sleep"
"Yeah, you seem quite charming… So how do feel about that?"
"Mmm about what?... Hey is this a leathered biker jacket? [while touching her jacket]

I learned she was 8 years older than me. I let her guess my age and said I was one year older than what she guessed. She tried to tease me about me being younger, but I ignored it.
At some point I guessed that she wanted to study design but her parents pushed her into architecture.

"Yeah, how do you know?"
"Well, you know; sometimes you want to do something unconventional, and our parents push us into something more realistic"

There was a break between bands, and she went to buy beer. We had been talking about beer tastes, so she bought me my preferred one. I told her that she didn't have to and gave her what it cost. The singer of the main band showed up among the crowd , and this girl challenged me to go say hi to her. We both did and it was both awkward and fun, but I think I was graceful as well.

She said she was glad she came that night. At some point she pulled me into her to get closer to the stage. Later I pulled her into me when people tried to pass besides her. We were shoulder to shoulder during most of the concert.
At some point she told me she played the guitar and the ukulele, so I grabbed her hand and felt her fingers. She did have guitar fingers.

When the concert ended, I told her I was having fun and I wanted to spend more time with her. This is where thing started to go awry for me. I was now 4 beers drunk. I took my cellphone and tried to get an Uber. She wasn't impressed but tried to help me. Unfortunately I didn't have any money in my debit card so I couldn't get one. We went to sit at a table at the bar patio. I quickly asked the bartender to ask a taxi for me. Then I took the girl by the hand and went to grab the taxi. This obviously went pretty bad.

Some guys where grabbing the taxi, but they saw me and asked

Strangers: "Is this your taxi?"
Me: "Yeah"
Strangers: "Oh sorry man"
Her: "No, you didn't ask for a taxi"

She said she had a bike, and that she was too old for [wherever I was trying to do]. The taxi driver was insisting we decided immediately because he was blocking the road. At the end I took the taxi and just gave her a peck in the lips and left, alone.

In retrospect, I think I should've just taken her take walk with me, and find a secluded spot to escalate.

Anyway, me not being good handling logistics and also being drunk led to a disappointing night (and me acting like a jerk at the end). At least I'm proud of how well the interaction went before the turning point, so I hope it served as a good learning experience.