first date/ need advice for something specific...

[Anonymous]

First off, my name is Nicholas. I am 24. Forgive me because I am having trouble trying to explain myself here. I just found this site today and am so grateful to know there are guys out there dedicated to making these types of things easier.


I recently just set a date with a girl and she suggested drinks and i agreed and further said " and something to eat"

HOWEVER, i agree with (Blank?Dave) 's post about wanting to set the tempo for the relationship early and making it as simple as coming over, making supper, having some drinks and making love to her. and her friends can entertain her while we will occassionally plan nights out but that is neither here nor there i just got to make this first date right!

Here is my problem. i moved back home with my father over a year ago which is temporary and I plan to move into the city ASAP( I live in small city just outside of city in which I cannot simply take a bus home from date. I would have to drive.

We are going for drinks and something to eat but I have read and concur with most of what I have read on this forum and i came across the idea that I don't want this to be too formal. I mean, i haven't actually confirmed with her that this is a date, I think she knows i like her but i don't want the place we go to make or break this thing I just want us to have dinner at her place, make food, drink wine, get to know each other and hopefully make sweet love. besides she is not the type i can impress by taking her somewhere fancy.

here is my problem: I want to take the date to her house and her and I can go to grocery store, get the food, wine etc but how do I get her to want to go to her house without sounding shady or cheap? because at this point she thinks I am taking her somewhere but I don't want it to be like that. in the future i obviously am going to have my own place and I would like to invite her there once that all happens but THIS SUNDAY i need to find a way to say "hey, do you just want to have dinner at your place?"

to me this works out perfectly. i live out of town(not sure she knows this) so if i take her out I can't drive her home, or myself because i will be having drinks and to be honest i am a little broke so it all makes sense to just take the whole thing back to her place and then I will be slightly drunk so it would be dumb to drive anywhere so why not just stay at her place! BUT HOW. My biggest concern is getting the date at her place otherwise i might have to call it off simply because I took some advice here on forum few hours ago and it immediately rung a bell.

i am not ashamed that i live with my father, it is what it is and I know it is not ideal for becoming boyfriend material and I plan to move into city next month..but i can't take her to my fathers house and seduce her into my bedroom in my basement. not happening.

. any help/advice/suggestions/lines/alternatives are appreciated. I really want to make this happen.
i obviously cant invite her to my place/drive her out here but if I take her out to lounge and we have drinks how am I gonna get her home? i don't want it to be me paying for her cab ride home or it being over once we leave the lounge

 

[The Tool]

I recently just set a date with a girl and she suggested drinks and i agreed and further said " and something to eat"

HOWEVER, i agree with (Blank?Dave) 's post about wanting to set the tempo for the relationship early and making it as simple as coming over, making supper, having some drinks and making love to her. and her friends can entertain her while we will occassionally plan nights out but that is neither here nor there i just got to make this first date right!

(Just_Dave's post)

Personally I would skip the something to eat till after the drinks. I myself would go get coffee at a small shop like star bucks, Deep Dive, Chase Frame, Sexual Frame, Relate, overall make the date go great. At the end of the night you can use a yes ladder like this, I'm thinkin this night is too young to end dont you? she will say yea. then you say and your having a good time right? she will say yea. Then you say well I'm hungry and want to continue having a good time dont you? she will say yea. Then you say Lets continue to have a good time and go cook some food. Then bring her to the groceree store or try to skip that all togeather and when she asks where are we going say I'm sure you know a place where we can cook a great meal (hopefully she will get the hint and say her place). and bing bam boom your at her place.

my perspective hope this helps you.

Cheers, The Tool

 

[Franco]

This post has been moved from the "Relationships" board to the "Beginners" board.

- Franco

 

[Anonymous]

I recently just set a date with a girl and she suggested drinks and i agreed and further said " and something to eat"

HOWEVER, i agree with (Blank?Dave) 's post about wanting to set the tempo for the relationship early and making it as simple as coming over, making supper, having some drinks and making love to her. and her friends can entertain her while we will occassionally plan nights out but that is neither here nor there i just got to make this first date right!

(Just_Dave's post)

Personally I would skip the something to eat till after the drinks. I myself would go get coffee at a small shop like star bucks, Deep Dive, Chase Frame, Sexual Frame, Relate, overall make the date go great. At the end of the night you can use a yes ladder like this, I'm thinkin this night is too young to end dont you? she will say yea. then you say and your having a good time right? she will say yea. Then you say well I'm hungry and want to continue having a good time dont you? she will say yea. Then you say Lets continue to have a good time and go cook some food. Then bring her to the groceree store or try to skip that all togeather and when she asks where are we going say I'm sure you know a place where we can cook a great meal (hopefully she will get the hint and say her place). and bing bam boom your at her place.

my perspective hope this helps you.

Cheers, The Tool

"
thanks for the reply. i think that is great idea. and am glad i only messaged her on facebook "hey I got a better idea..." but i waited till someone here gave me some advice.

not really sure what Chase Frame or Sexual Frame or Deep Dive is. I have searched around on forums but to no avail. I hope I don't have to purchase the books(simply can't afford them) i have got little tidbits here and there is there a specific topic i can refer to to find out more?

 

[Garrett]

Hey Nicholas!

I suggest you read the posts on Deep Diving, Chase/Sexual Framing on the blogsite, that will definitely help . With your situation man, it's best to just be honest with her. Just tell her you can't afford it and briefly explain why it would be easier to go to her house. Make it like it's no big deal, you want to be honest with her as much as possible. If she objects to that they screw her, I doubt she would though because her interest levels aren't the problem. If a girl agrees to go out with you, chances are she's interested so as long as she can see you, I don't think there will be a problem. Please just make sure you escalate because if you move slow you'll lose her, I promise you that! Some guys can move slow and get lucky if the girl is really into them but don't buck on that, it doesn't usually happen, especially with hot/sociable girls. It sounds like you're really into her, be careful about this because the more you like a girl/invest time thinking about her, the harder it is to be effective. Ideally, you want to like a girl enough to want to sleep with her and feel that passion, but you want to feel as though if you lose her it's no big deal, and that you can walk away at any time. If you feel like this then you should be good! If not, you should go meet more girls, otherwise you'll start obsessing over her, which is a massive waste of time!

Goodluck brother,
Garrett

 

[The Tool]

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-use-sexual-frame-turn-women
https://www.girlschase.com/content/secrets-getting-girls-art-deep-dive
https://www.girlschase.com/content/secrets-getting-girls-chase-framing

Here you are my friend. Enjoy

 

[Anonymous]

lol this site's awesome. thanks btw

even though a lot of us guys here understand what it is we may be doing wrong, it is often we don't know any alternative, in addition, we don't necessarily understand the processes which seem so universal, most of us have not developed the ability to explain these processes so we continue to make the same mistakes.

the moment i read something here another light goes on in my head. my intuition is constantly being given the green light. GO man GO.

 

[A Life Loquacious]

Actually the 'too drunk to drive home' thing could work in your favour if you deploy it at the right moment. Like, you can have a couple of small glasses of wine over the course of the evening, and still be OK to drive. If you have your two and say something like "isn't it awesome drinking wine together, I will probably have to stop now otherwise I won't be able to drive back" you might find you get offered the chance to stay over and help her finish off the bottle (and maybe another!).