First Date Tactics and Logistics

[The Tool]

The Tool here, And recently I was asked to put up my 'First date script" At first I really did not want to give that away but because of my LTR I decided. If im not using it. Perhaps someone else can. So hopefullly those of you that read this can learn something from it and enjoy.

You send a "anti flaking text" the morning of the date to know weather or not she will be coming.

Scripts starts the day of the date at 11:00 A.M
Text - "Hey (insert name here) Hope your days gone well. when you get to starbucks tonight I'll meet you by the front door."
Her "Ok! Cant wait. See you there

Now I choose A coffee date because; it is cheap, intimate, and close to home. Not to mention that if the woman decides to go on a coffee date with you. Then that means she is going to be with you. And not because of some fun, extravagant activity.

I choose 7:00 PM as my time because its late enough that the place is not jam packed with people who just got done with work and it leaves enough time after the date to where going back to your place seems feasable to her.

(I set up a sexual frame)

7:00 rolls around. I'm leaning on my cars trunk with my arms crossed. When I see her drive in I give a slick smile.
She gets out. and walks up to me.
I greet her with "Hey (name here) What kind of trouble did you cause today?"

She either say's "Lots of trouble like always" to which I say "oh yea? trouble is always fun" said with a sexy grin and face that looks like im up to something,

Or - she will say something connected to trouble, and you just have to think of a quick and solid Chase and/or Sexual frame to say that relates to said trouble

Go inside starbucks- open the door and guide her in by the small of her back. (This gives you a bit of kino and some dominance points on your part)

Go to the counter and order whatever you like. (id sugggest an iced white chocolate latte. My fav)

Ask her what she wants while you lightly place your hand on her shoulder for a second. (more light kino)
-Pay for both

say to her "Lets have a seat" and lead her to where you will be sitting. Preferable the middle of the store closest to a wall or window where the seats are facing eachother. Your on one side of the table shes on the other. (I prefer a place by a wall so there is less distractions from other people)

Start with small talk. Open with talking about what specific kinds of trouble she caused today.

Excellent way to start deep diving about some topics she talked about with the trouble. (unscripted and natural part)

(scripted part again) Get on one of 8 topics that dont have to be covered in order

Not to be used in order but how they come up.


BELOW IS FROM Chases https://www.girlschase.com/content/what- ... st-ask-her so all credit from these go to him.

Not to be used in order but how they come up.

1. Talk about her job. "is this what you want to do forever." - find out how deep her ambitions go then relate.
2. Have you traveled much? or do you want too?
3. When youve got free time what do you do? find out what she does with her free time then relate.
4. Ever go on any crazy adventures.
5. How far do you usually plan ahead.
6. What was your childhood like?
7. What do you think of me so far? (said sly and coy) (THIS ONE IS OPTIONAL) and
8. Is that good? when she say's something about you.

When asking those 8 questions you can deep dive further with:
1. How long has she been doing it.
2. how does she like it.
3. what does she like about it.
4. why is she doing it if she doesn't like it.
5. how long is she going to do it for.
6. What will she do after.
7. has she always known shes wanted to do it.

(you can ask many other questions besides these. Such as her hopes and dreams, favorite TV shows. etc. etc.)

Share and relate when you can and use active listening to show your on the same page.



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inbetween all these questions you will eventualy get to a point where there is an awkward pause where you run out of things to say or you reach a point where you cant actively get onto another topic (always happens) thats when you say this line. (I'm using a sexual frame below to plant the seed for the sexual escalation later)

Look her in the eyes and give her a sexy smile. "Your a very interesting girl"
She will say "what do you mean"
you. "I mean your funny and your charming. But I feel theres more there that your afraid to show. But you shouldnt be. (said with a sexy smile)

Now for the high point of the date.

The High point Ive found comes at about that Hour and a half mark or 2 hour mark of the date (anything after 2 hours I have found you start to run out of things to talk about and a bunch of awkward pauses and silent stares begin to happen)

Example your on a high point and she just got done laughing. heres the script.

(You use a yes ladder because she is more likely to say yes to the pull if she is already saying yes to other questions)

You "Well I'm having a good time and I'm thinkin this night is too young to end dont you?"
Her "Yea I think so"
You "And your having a good time right?"
Her "yea"
You "and you like (Tv show here) right?"
Her "Yea"
You "Then we should go watch (TV show name here)
Her "OK"

so its off to your place.

get in your car. her in hers, or your car and her in yours. either way. Wait for her to follow you and lead on.

Keep up light banter to transition to your place if she is with you to eliminate any awkwardness.

When you get inside your place have her take her shoes off (this shows compliance and that she is going to stay a little while )

Get on your bed back against the wall and get out your laptop. Have her sit next to you.

Start pulling up the TV show.

Ask her "what kind of perfume are you wearing it smells good?"
after she says it.
MANHANDLE KISS.

Enjoy an LR.



Special Thanks to Zyphix for suggesting I do this post, and helping with the writing process. And also to PrettyDecent for helping with suggestions on Clairity and ways to improve this post.

Cheers, The Tool

 

[PrettyDecent]

Good idea for a post; glad to see it up, brother.

Would be interested in hearing other people's using this.

Jake

 

[Marty]

I love the simplicity of this, also the blatant pressing-into-service of tactics from various site articles like the "8 questions" and the "very interesting person" spiel; and most of all the unashamed resolve to stick with what works, time after time!

What do your closing statistics look like, Tool... assuming you've reached this point already? Let's say: what percentage actually accompany you to the apartment, versus those who attempt to drag it out to a second-plus date, versus those who never speak to you again?

 

[NarrowJ]

Tool,

This is great. Not too different than what my first dates look like.

Couple things:

1) On the question "what do you think of me so far?" and then asking "is that good?"-- I always wondered what this accomplishes because it seems very approval-seeking and when I HAVE used it, I get awkward, nervous responses such as "yeah um I like you.. I mean, I can't give it all away here! But yeah I definitely blah blah blah"

2) when you use the "really interesting person" dialogue and then respond that there's more to her that she's afraid to show, I can see her getting inquisitive about that. I would probably deflect any request for me to explain what I am getting at directly. Is that what you do also?

NJ

 

[The Tool]

Marty

What do your closing statistics look like, Tool... assuming you've reached this point already? Let's say: what percentage actually accompany you to the apartment, versus those who attempt to drag it out to a second-plus date, versus those who never speak to you again?

I'm going to be honest my closing stats were pretty good. Out of all the dates I went on.

3 didn't go home with me (one date was atrocious we had nothing in common)
1 tried to drag it out a second date by just ending with a kiss by her car.
and the rest I successfully pulled home..so in the double digits. so to put in percent prob 85 - 90% successful pull ratio

As for ones that never talk to me again I chose not to talk to them


@NarrowJ

On the question "what do you think of me so far?" and then asking "is that good?"-- I always wondered what this accomplishes because it seems very approval-seeking and when I HAVE used it, I get awkward, nervous responses such as "yeah um I like you.. I mean, I can't give it all away here! But yeah I definitely blah blah blah"

I actually never came across this. didn't use this often for I must have a way of saying things. for I say it so coy and cocky. When I did use it I got " I think your interesting. What do you think of me?"
and I would say " if you lucky I might tell you what I think later" usually along these lines.

2) when you use the "really interesting person" dialogue and then respond that there's more to her that she's afraid to show, I can see her getting inquisitive about that. I would probably deflect any request for me to explain what I am getting at directly. Is that what you do also?

I have tried it two ways and they each have their own route. You could deflect with same as above "I might tell you later if your lucky" then jump to another topic.

Or if you have been getting a really sexual vibe. you could take a leap of faith and transition into talking sexual (did this ONCE with a girl I knew it was on with) other than that I like to let the subtle remark sink in.

 

[NarrowJ]

Cool, thanks for the feedback Tool!

I have a date tomorrow night so I'm going to try out the "you're a really interesting girl" bit.

NJ

 

[The Tool]

Excellent NJ. Let me know how it goes

 

[Marty]

Tool, out of interest, where are you opening most of these girls ahead of the date arrangements? The street?

 

[The Tool]

Hey Marty. Mostly at school. Second the mall. Then parks and the street.

Day Game specialist.

 

[Estate]

Really great topic, will help a lot of guys... possible sticky?

Tool (and others), would love your input on this...
I've tried experimenting with this lately... stay away totally from the topics of jobs, work, school, favourite music, etc on first dates. Basically anything that easily leads to "interview" type questions.
Now I know the obvious advice is to get to know her, bring up these topics to show you want to get to know her but steer it into a fun vibe and away from "interview mode" but what I honestly find is that even if you keep it light and fun, once you ask a girl about her job, she will ultimately steer it back to asking what I do, etc... and you're constantly just trying to push the conversation back into "fun mode" or deep dive mode.

So just for kicks I've tried this on my last few first dates... just plain AVOID all those topics... the first few minutes she'll start by asking what I do... so I just totally take it down a rabbit hole, start talking about everything and anything EXCEPT the standard date topics.

I don't know if it's necessarily working any better or worse. The funny thing is, I came away not really KNOWING all that stuff like what her job is like, or what music she is into and wondered if it comes off like I'm not interested.... BUT... *I'M* having the most fun ever... standard first dates just drain me, it's the same thing over and over and actually treating it like it's a 3rd or 4th date or we already know each other just makes the whole thing way more fun for me personally since you can get them to be silly and fun and laughing instead of just interviewing each other.

I did this last night with a girl I'd rate a solid 10. Honestly, I always say I hate "the scale" but in terms of the type of girl that just does it for me... this was it. Now I've struggled to REALLY have huge success with these girls. I've had dates with some really great quality girls but when it hits interview mode I can see them getting bored and have lost them right there. I was genuinely nervous talking to this girl (which is rare these days), but I just did my best to be outwardly confident and in control, yet before I knew it 3 hours had passed and we hadn't stopped talking and bantering, she even followed up afterwards wanting to meet again soon. (It wasn't an LR but I can deal with that, it went so much better than how dates with this "type" of girl usually goes..)

 

[The Tool]

Interesting take Estate.

Your tactic is definately a different take. I dont see any harm in it.

The reason I like to integrate the "interview questions" is to screen these women for commonalities and to lead to interesting topics, perhaps they go indepth with the music they like that they traveled with a band. or were in one. Perhaps there job has taken then to the far corners of the world. The possibilities are endless.

But most importantly The Screen is for finding women who seem like good GF material. That was my goal. Thats what I accomplished

 

[The Byronic Man]

This is fantastic, The Tool! I'll try my best to follow this script for my date later tonight. She is a somewhat serious Christian, so will be interesting to see if I can pull on the first date. But again, she knows I'm atheist too, so how serious can she really be lol?

Also, I don't have a laptop...so I'll substitute that with the PC in my bedroom. I'll probably have her sit on my lap.

 

[The Tool]

Glad you like it brother. Let me know how the date goes

 

[Dern]

Good post! There were some things I tried tonight, but I guess I didn't say it right or have good nonverbals when I said it.

I greet her with "Hey (name here) What kind of trouble did you cause today?"

She either say's "Lots of trouble like always" to which I say "oh yea? trouble is always fun" said with a sexy grin and face that looks like im up to something,

Or - she will say something connected to trouble, and you just have to think of a quick and solid Chase and/or Sexual frame to say that relates to said trouble

I said this and she said: "trouble? I didn't get into any trouble today."

Look her in the eyes and give her a sexy smile. "Your a very interesting girl"
She will say "what do you mean"
you. "I mean your funny and your charming. But I feel theres more there that your afraid to show. But you shouldnt be. (said with a sexy smile)

I don't think I should've said this here, because I saw that she sort of got dissapointed or something that I asked her that. She replied in a really confused tone of voice: "Whaaaa...? I'll tell you anything..."

I think asking this confused her because she was telling me a lot about herself, and I was providing active feedback and relating to her, so maybe this wasn't such a good question to ask?

 

[The Byronic Man]

Did you say it playfully? I say things like that frequently to people (men and women) and almost always get a good response. I make sure I say it in a playful way. Then based on their answer, you can run with it however you like.

The exception is if she's really nervous (is it you or her?), doesn't get it (is it your delivery or her?), or her life isn't too exciting right now and she feels insecure about it (you may need to make yourself more attainable to her). In those cases, I would make it clear I'm not qualifying her by adding to the the question so it's clear I'm joking:

YOU: "Hey HB. What kind of trouble did you cause today?"
HB: *hesitates nervously*
YOU: "I made an illegal U-turn on my way here. Cops followed me here. So glad you're here...let's get inside." *give her a sexy smile with warm body language since she's feeling insecure*

One's non-verbals, tonality, and fundamentals are so critical to the social arts. It's the foundation for everything.

 

[Dern]

The exception is if she's really nervous (is it you or her?), doesn't get it (is it your delivery or her?), or her life isn't too exciting right now and she feels insecure about it (you may need to make yourself more attainable to her).

I thought I said it playfully: "So, what kind of trouble did youuu get in today? Emphasis on the "you".

Sort of lowered my chin when I said it so that I would be looking at her cute and sexy.

She might not have an exciting life right now, because she's really into work at the moment. And she told me while we were setting up the date, that she could meet up after work, which is what we did. So maybe it wasn't an appropriate question, cause she didn't do anything anyways? I dunno lol.

I'm pretty sure she followed up by saying: "Hey, so where are we going? I checked this coffee place nearby and their closing soon."
To which I replied: "Let's go to Blenz five blocks away, they're open till 11".

So I guess we both sort of ignored her response in a way.

 

[The Tool]

@Dern.

Byronic said it right.

I'm surprised neither of those worked for you. I have never had Any responses like that.

When you say it don't put your chin down. Say it in a playful/cocky tone with your head coked up slightly like your a Cop questioning someone.

It all comes down to nonverbal, tonality, and your overall vibe. You have to be cocky, and playful.

Either that or the woman you went on a date with was just a shy, inexperienced, introvert. They dont like to have alot of fun =/

 

[Dern]

Really great topic, will help a lot of guys... possible sticky?

Tool (and others), would love your input on this...
I've tried experimenting with this lately... stay away totally from the topics of jobs, work, school, favourite music, etc on first dates. Basically anything that easily leads to "interview" type questions.
Now I know the obvious advice is to get to know her, bring up these topics to show you want to get to know her but steer it into a fun vibe and away from "interview mode" but what I honestly find is that even if you keep it light and fun, once you ask a girl about her job, she will ultimately steer it back to asking what I do, etc... and you're constantly just trying to push the conversation back into "fun mode" or deep dive mode.

So just for kicks I've tried this on my last few first dates... just plain AVOID all those topics... the first few minutes she'll start by asking what I do... so I just totally take it down a rabbit hole, start talking about everything and anything EXCEPT the standard date topics.

I don't know if it's necessarily working any better or worse. The funny thing is, I came away not really KNOWING all that stuff like what her job is like, or what music she is into and wondered if it comes off like I'm not interested.... BUT... *I'M* having the most fun ever... standard first dates just drain me, it's the same thing over and over and actually treating it like it's a 3rd or 4th date or we already know each other just makes the whole thing way more fun for me personally since you can get them to be silly and fun and laughing instead of just interviewing each other.

I did this last night with a girl I'd rate a solid 10. Honestly, I always say I hate "the scale" but in terms of the type of girl that just does it for me... this was it. Now I've struggled to REALLY have huge success with these girls. I've had dates with some really great quality girls but when it hits interview mode I can see them getting bored and have lost them right there. I was genuinely nervous talking to this girl (which is rare these days), but I just did my best to be outwardly confident and in control, yet before I knew it 3 hours had passed and we hadn't stopped talking and bantering, she even followed up afterwards wanting to meet again soon. (It wasn't an LR but I can deal with that, it went so much better than how dates with this "type" of girl usually goes..)

Question for Estate: So what kind of questions do you ask her then? If you don't ask her about what she does and what she likes, then what do you talk about? I'm a bit confused...

 

[Estate]

Question for Estate: So what kind of questions do you ask her then? If you don't ask her about what she does and what she likes, then what do you talk about? I'm a bit confused...

So I'll preface this by saying this is neither right or wrong, just something I've experimented with. Tools original post was actually REALLY good.

Lately though, 1st dates just began to bore me. No matter how much fun I'd try to make it, the girl herself would sometimes just default to interview questions and it was frustrating so I ended up just having some fun for myself. And it hasn't gone at all that bad. In my mind, it's at least a different date to what she's used to and might stand out. If she likes it great.

So first off... you'll inevitably go down the route of the standard questions, if you don't ask them... she will, and you need to get to know her, so it's not a bad thing. But don't dwell on them. One girl lately told me what she did and how she was moving up the ranks so I had a little fun teasing her about when she was going to pull a coup on the boss and take over, just playing around and she bought into it. Just be silly.

Obviously deep diving is great. "What do you do?" "I'm a nurse" "Ok, cool"... No, No, No!
I won't go into deep diving though, its well covered by Chase but learn to master it... but while you do... also don't just do weird shit. I hear guys asking if a girl has travelled then turning it around into weird cold reads about how she must be X, Y and Z type and blah blah...
I'll share experiences of travelling, ask her more detailed or odd questions about where she's been, ask her to describe her experiences, not just the place. It makes it much more interesting.

I tell stories... and it makes them open up more. I don't do weird stories qualifying myself and telling her all about my stripper friends and trying to convey how everyone loves me. That's MM stuff. I end up coming up with little annecdotes depending on the situation... something it's something silly I used to as a kid, or some game I used to play, or just something goofy or funny that happened one time. If she asks about your family, don't just list them out, tell a goofy story about your dad or something. This usually makes them share a goofy story too. It's just a much more personal conversation. If you don't go past the surface and share some of your own past or experience, then she never will either, it needs to feel like you are just friends hanging out and not at a job interview listing your resume.
The story thing really depends on the situation, it's usually about something that happens around us or something she says which makes me think of something to tell.

Relate to her... when you deep dive and find a little about her. But make it unorthodox. I don't know how to describe this one too well...
If you can find something to relate to her one... don't just go "Me too!". Break it down more. For example, I went out with a girl recently who is new in town. I moved here a few years ago too. She initially asked me to recommend some stuff to her, but everyone offers the same touristy advice in every town. So I told her some obscure stuff, stuff she won't hear from other people. I related on what it's like to be new in town, and again offered some more unorthodox things to try and insights in the city that you won't read in every tourist guide, related on how you acclimatize to being new in this particular city... and it was funny, I could see her really thinking as I spoke, it wasn't the same stuff she had been told by 15 people already.

Just make it memorable by being different.

Spend some time just playing around and being silly and the other time being a little more serious in tone or at least relating without blowing it out with silly jokes.

 

[Marty]

Tool,

Two questions concerning your literal interpretation of the GirlsChase texting guidelines:

1. How soon do you typically send the icebreaker? Chase writes 1 to 4 hours, but what do you find works best?

2. Does it have any significance whether you do, or do not, receive a response to the icebreaker? In other words, do you care?

Thanks
-Marty