FR Flirty Dutch Waitress

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

Hi guys, currently in Amsterdam, and me and a friend went to a cafe for a quick lunch. There was a hot, flirty, Dutch waitress, normally I don’t like getting on hired guns, but she was flirting heavy in an empty cafe.

We sit down, and she only gives us the drinks menu. My friend gets up to get a lighter, and she comes over to talk to me. I joke with her, “trying to get us drunk? It’s only the middle of the day.” She’s bantering back with me, and touching my arm a couple of times. We introduce ourselves, and I ask her what she prefers between Holland and America, since she’s half Dutch & half American, she answers, and I expand upon that where she starts to really get into it, and I relate and give my opinion as well. She also gets me a free water, which is nice since you have to pay for all drink, yes including water in Europe.

Eventually, when she finishes taking our orders, we introduce names, and I give her the hand clasp.

We eat our meal and she’s bantering with a couple other customers, I’m just trying to get my food down tbh. Once we pay and are about to leave, I ask her for any Amsterdam recommendations. My plan was to have her suggest something nice, then ask her if she wants to join me.

However, she struggles to remember any recs, so I tell her “yea you could just text it to me.”

She says, “Is this just to get my number?”

I pause for a second, then say “Well you were going to ask for my number anyways.”

She says, “What if I’m seriously dating someone?”

My response is “What if I don’t care?”

She giggles at that, and types some recommendations into my phone.

Meanwhile, in order to persist, I say “you know this is your last chance to give me your number before I leave forever…”

She then offers to trade igs, then she tells me for recommendations only, I say of course, no naughty business.

She gives me her ig, and follows me back later. I texted her, and yet there’s no response.

Tbh I think my frame control is getting better, although this girl just happened to be super flirty. I could’ve persisted with taking the number rather than the ig. Also I don’t see a bf on her profile, she could’ve said that in the heat of the moment.

Might have mistaken excessive flirting for a sign of interest, but worth a try to improve.

Any other comments?

 

[Will_V]

Hi guys, currently in Amsterdam, and me and a friend went to a cafe for a quick lunch. There was a hot, flirty, Dutch waitress, normally I don’t like getting on hired guns, but she was flirting heavy in an empty cafe.

We sit down, and she only gives us the drinks menu. My friend gets up to get a lighter, and she comes over to talk to me. I joke with her, “trying to get us drunk? It’s only the middle of the day.” She’s bantering back with me, and touching my arm a couple of times. We introduce ourselves, and I ask her what she prefers between Holland and America, since she’s half Dutch & half American, she answers, and I expand upon that where she starts to really get into it, and I relate and give my opinion as well. She also gets me a free water, which is nice since you have to pay for all drink, yes including water in Europe.

Eventually, when she finishes taking our orders, we introduce names, and I give her the hand clasp.

We eat our meal and she’s bantering with a couple other customers, I’m just trying to get my food down tbh. Once we pay and are about to leave, I ask her for any Amsterdam recommendations. My plan was to have her suggest something nice, then ask her if she wants to join me.

However, she struggles to remember any recs, so I tell her “yea you could just text it to me.”

She says, “Is this just to get my number?”

I pause for a second, then say “Well you were going to ask for my number anyways.”

She says, “What if I’m seriously dating someone?”

My response is “What if I don’t care?”

She giggles at that, and types some recommendations into my phone.

Meanwhile, in order to persist, I say “you know this is your last chance to give me your number before I leave forever…”

She then offers to trade igs, then she tells me for recommendations only, I say of course, no naughty business.

She gives me her ig, and follows me back later. I texted her, and yet there’s no response.

Tbh I think my frame control is getting better, although this girl just happened to be super flirty. I could’ve persisted with taking the number rather than the ig. Also I don’t see a bf on her profile, she could’ve said that in the heat of the moment.

Might have mistaken excessive flirting for a sign of interest, but worth a try to improve.

Any other comments?

Sounds like you put her on the spot without offering plausible deniability.

Not only is she at work but she might well be seeing someone, and you're basically asking her to:

a) get picked up on the job
b) entertain the idea of being with another dude than the one she's with
c) with some guy she only just met

I think it'd have gone down better if you did a '2 steps forward and one back' like:

You: "Well you were going to ask for my number anyways"
Her: "What if I'm seriously dating someone?"
You: "Hey we only just met, you're just showing me around the city" wink wink.

Now she's no longer on the spot, though with your tone and smile you can make it clear that the chemistry is still there, and if she's feeling open to it she might well just giggle and put her number in.

Note that the way she presented the obstacle (seeing someone else) as a question is basically begging for you to give her a frame with which she can pass it.

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

Sounds like you put her on the spot without offering plausible deniability.

Yeah, I might have done that in hindsight, although she was the one who said “oh so you want my number.” I very casually told her to just text recommendations to me, she took it to the next level.

Not only is she at work but she might well be seeing someone, and you're basically asking her to:

a) get picked up on the job
b) entertain the idea of being with another dude than the one she's with
c) with some guy she only just met

Yeah, that is a huge compliance ask looking back at it. None of her co workers were around, and she was sitting down on a break when I went for the ask.

I think it'd have gone down better if you did a '2 steps forward and one back' like:

You: "Well you were going to ask for my number anyways"
Her: "What if I'm seriously dating someone?"
You: "Hey we only just met, you're just showing me around the city" wink wink.

Yeah, better for plausible deniability, that’s what I said when we exchanged igs however.

Now she's no longer on the spot, though with your tone and smile you can make it clear that the chemistry is still there, and if she's feeling open to it she might well just giggle and put her number in.

Note that the way she presented the obstacle (seeing someone else) as a question is basically begging for you to give her a frame with which she can pass it.

Yeah, I sensed the interest, although this isn’t an approach I would usually make on a hired gun, might be one of my first ones. Highly doubt she has a bf, or one she would remain loyal to. There’s pictures of her ig with several thirst traps, including one picture covering her naked boobs with her hand, and a couple photos with low waisted pants so low you could see the top of her pussy.

Anyways, thanks for the help, main issue here is plausible deniability that I need to work on, will keep in mind when going for asks in the future.

 

[Will_V]

Yeah, I might have done that in hindsight, although she was the one who said “oh so you want my number.” I very casually told her to just text recommendations to me, she took it to the next level.

IMO your reply there "Well you were going to ask for my number anyways" was perfect, you're not hiding your interest in her (with a clever tease). This is the 'one step forward'.

It was your next reply which I think dropped the ball. By saying 'I don't care' you're focusing on yourself and your own wants, without taking into consideration what she thinks about it and possibly what others might think about it. She's basically asking you "will I be able to get away with this?" and you're saying "Well I don't care about it" which is somewhat beside the point (she knows this anyway).

Highly doubt she has a bf, or one she would remain loyal to. There’s pictures of her ig with several thirst traps, including one picture covering her naked boobs with her hand, and a couple photos with low waisted pants so low you could see the top of her pussy.

Means very little, dudes these days will rationalize anything their girl does.

Even the most attention seeking girl typically a) has some dude she would like to keep around if nothing better comes along and b) isn't just ready at all times to go behind his back.

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

IMO your reply there "Well you were going to ask for my number anyways" was perfect, you're not hiding your interest in her (with a clever tease). This is the 'one step forward'.

Thank you for that, I paused a moment, and said this. The old me probably would have stumbled, but yea I realized this was a possible shit test.

It was your next reply which I think dropped the ball. By saying 'I don't care' you're focusing on yourself and your own wants, without taking into consideration what she thinks about it and possibly what others might think about it. She's basically asking you "will I be able to get away with this?" and you're saying "Well I don't care about it" which is somewhat beside the point (she knows this anyway).

Yeah, tbh I’m at a point in life where I’m erring on the side of cockiness, total 180 from being shy and nervous, should try to tone it down.

Next time I’ll answer from her POV rather than mine, ofc I don’t care.

Means very little, dudes these days will rationalize anything their girl does.

Even the most attention seeking girl typically a) has some dude she would like to keep around if nothing better comes along and b) isn't just ready at all times to go behind his back.

Unfortunate, big reason why I decided to learn seduction, to end up with high quality women who truly like me, rather than dealing with average women who I have to chase.

Long road but I’m sure a very rewarding one.

 

[iceberg slim]

IMO your reply there "Well you were going to ask for my number anyways" was perfect, you're not hiding your interest in her (with a clever tease). This is the 'one step forward'.

It was your next reply which I think dropped the ball. By saying 'I don't care' you're focusing on yourself and your own wants, without taking into consideration what she thinks about it and possibly what others might think about it. She's basically asking you "will I be able to get away with this?" and you're saying "Well I don't care about it" which is somewhat beside the point (she knows this anyway).



Means very little, dudes these days will rationalize anything their girl does.

Even the most attention seeking girl typically a) has some dude she would like to keep around if nothing better comes along and b) isn't just ready at all times to go behind his back.

This reminds me of a Tom T video where he says to be careful to not smash the frame. I feel like you smashed the frame instead of taking control tactfully. By the way, I think overall you did well, probably better than I would have. Very bold and confident. Just need to prune it back a tad.

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

This reminds me of a Tom T video where he says to be careful to not smash the frame. I feel like you smashed the frame instead of taking control tactfully. By the way, I think overall you did well, probably better than I would have. Very bold and confident. Just need to prune it back a tad.

Yeah, makes sense, but tbh I’m ok with that, as Chase mentioned before we start off nice/shy, then go on the side of asshole/cocky before returning to confident/genuine man. I think I’m leaning a bit more towards asshole and cocky right now, and that response which smashed the frame is a perfect example of that.

Next time I will consider the girl more carefully.