FR FR / FU: Trip to the mall

[NarrowJ]

Ok, so I've been fairly successful with women as far as meeting them incidentally at a bar / club or through a mutual friend. But, I've never actively went out and approached during the day. I have been out and about several times lately with the intention of approaching, but the anxiety has been to much for me, and I just couldn't seem to do it. Basically, I seem to do okay in a more vibing type atmosphere. Day game has seemed almost impossible. I finally fought through some anxiety today, and while I didn't have a lot of time, I did offer dates to two women and got one phone number.


Girl 1: Samantha

Today, I went to the mall for a few things and entered a clothing store. One of the girls working there (HB 8.5) had came by and asked me if I needed help, and I said I was fine and just browsing. I also told her I loved her hair (which was a sincere compliment, it was dyed all crazy-like). She said thank you, and went about her business. She checked on me a little later and I said "yeah, I guess I could use some help" and I commented on a couple shirts I liked and she started helping me pick some things out. I tried on a couple things, and then went to check out. Their credit card system was down so I had to go use an ATM and come back with cash. After she was done checking me out, she came around the kiosk to hand me the bag and I told her we should grab a drink or a bite to eat sometime. She said yeah sure, and so I told her I had forgot her name (I literally forgot it like 2 seconds after she told me what it was). She tells me its Samantha and I get her number. I tell her I hope the system comes back up or else she gets to go home early. She smiles and we both say "See you later" and I leave. I was shaking really bad when I was putting her # in my phone. She had to notice. It was weird, I didn't even get nervous until she said yes. You'd think a positive reaction would set me at ease but it did just the opposite! I know she had to notice. I was super nervous, but not what I would really refer to as "awkward".


Girl 2: Shelby

Then, I went to Sears to grab a bed set. I do, and go to checkout. The girl (HB 7.5) at the counter is flirty, or so it seems. She asks me my name. I still have a nervous flutter about me at this point from the experience at the clothing store a few minutes ago. We banter a little, and I ask her if I can leave my bags there and browse for a minute to kill time before I have to go back to work. I'm really just killing time to wait until her co-worker goes off and does something else so I can try to get her number. Eventually she does so I walk back up to the counter. She starts asking me where I work, etc. She seems like she is going to be interested in a date for sure. I say "We should grab a coffee or a bite to eat sometime" and when I say it, my voice is totally quivering and the delivery is horrible. She gets all awkward and says "I don't know right now, maybe..." and I kind of pause and keep looking at her waiting for her to just go "well. ok" but she doesn't. So I just say "No? Ok, well have a nice day!" and leave. I think she could sense the nervousness big time. Maybe I should have waited until I calmed down a little from the clothing store incident? I don't know...


Summary:

Well, the first girl was hotter (and I have her #) so I'm going to wait until maybe tomorrow afternoon and text her. So we'll see what happens. But I got really nervous and shaky as I was putting her # in my phone.

The second girl was only slightly above average looks, but had really nice tits. But she was the one that blew me out. But, I'm sure it was because of the nervousness I exhibited as I offered the date.

So, I guess I just need to keep doing this and eventually I won't be nervous anymore.

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EDIT: I actually went ahead and texted Girl 1 and she just texted me back.

Me: "Thank you for the excellent service today. Haha -Jedd"
Her: "You're very welcome! Sorry again about the card thing. We got it fixed!"

Looks this one will surely turn into a date.

 

[NarrowJ]

Well, maybe and maybe not. This is what I got when I asked for her schedule:

"I'm not sure yet. I usually don't get my next weeks schedule until Friday"

Making shit difficult on me already lol

 

[NarrowJ]

Here's the whole set of texts:

Me 227: Thank you for the excellent service today. Haha -NJ
Her 305: You're very welcome! Sorry again about the card thing. We got it fixed!
Me 437: Yeah I think you were just stalling to work your mall seduction skills!
Her 504: Haha nooo! I have none of those
Me 518: Ha! So- what's your schedule look like the next week or so, missy?
Her 602: I'm not sure yet. I usually don't get my next weeks schedule until Friday
Me 842: Cool cool- maybe early next week sometime. We'll figure it out
Her 920: Yeah definitely. Lol do you shop at the Buckle often
Me 946: Nah. Maybe couple times before. Been awhile.
Her 956: You always hit on random girls?
Me 1013: Better quest- you always pick up boys that come in your store? Lol
Her 1017: Haha no I don't! First one

Gonna leave it at that for now.

Always second guessing myself! Haha

 

[ocantu1987]

wow! Narrowj I am the same as you, my hands started shaking when I asked for this girls number and I just know she noticed haha.

I liked your text man. That part about her stalling so she can use her seduction skills. Thats chase framing huh?

 

[Verisimilitude]

I don't see this as a failure. I know its hard to think that way, but just go with this metaphor for a second. If you spent a year learning physics, would it make you any better at biology? You might have the basic knowledge (math skills, and understanding of scientific theories), but you would still have to learn most of the material in order to learn biology. It works the same way with night and day game. You might have a basic understanding of what to do (walk up, flirt, and get her #), but you don't know how to handle yourself when you aren't in a social situation that you are unfamiliar with. Being good at night game doesn't mean you'll be good right away at day game. And the only reason you are better at night game is because you've practiced it. So the solution is to practice more day game. You are going to make mistakes, but eventually you will get just as good, and have another method to pick up girls.

And for the record, I think you should set up a date with her. I think she's into you. A lot of times, I'll feel like a girl likes me or she doesn't, but I'll base it off of what I did when I hit on her. I'm trying to ignore the guessing game "does she like me/ does she not". If she likes me, she'll kiss me back when I make my move! Or go with me on a date.

I don't see a FU here man. You're starting something new, and you can't expect to be good at something the first time you try it!

 

[NarrowJ]

Thanks xcrunner! I guess I didn't necessarily view Girl 1 as a FU, but the other one I couldn't N close. But yeah, regardless it's a good learning experience for me.

It was Wednesday when I met her (Samantha) and sent the few initial texts and got the minor roadblock in getting her schedule. Then, I didn't check up with her until Saturday morning.

I sent the following two texts (one on Sat morning about 10 AM, and the second one on Sun afternoon about 12:30 PM) and she didn't reply to either.

1) Saturday, 10:00 AM: Samantha, hey! Hope the credit card readers been cooperating Let's grab that drink sometime this week. What's your schedule like?
2) Sunday, 12:30 PM: Hey trouble, hope you've had a good weekend! Do anything exciting?

So yeah- no response to either text.. Maybe I shouldn't have waited 3 days to follow up? Attraction expired, or maybe coming off as a player due to the no contact or something? I don't know. It's ok if I get a maybe.. well ok type of response and then they blow me off. But, these really burn me when they're so warm and receptive and excited to talk to me and then a couple days later they won't even respond.

 

[NarrowJ]

Got 3 more numbers today!

In order of "hotness":

1. Long legged HB9 wearing tiny shorts in line behind me at Subway. The line was long, so I got to talk to her for about 5 minutes or more. I even sort of wrapped my arm around her while I put her # in my phone and she leaned into me a little when I did.

2. Little bitty HB8 (this girl had to be under 5 feet tall, I love me some little women lol). She was sitting on a bench texting as I was doing my afternoon run in the park. Stopped and told her to quit interrupting my workout lol. She smiled and so I stayed and chatted for about 3-5 minutes. Went for the instant date, told her it was hot out and we should go grab an ice cream cone later after my run. She said she had to work but would like to another time. Got her number and took off.

3. Tall, slender HB8 in a white dress pumping gas. I complained about high gas prices and she was agreeable. I asked her if she lives around here, to which she said yeah she lives here in town. I basically said two sentences to this girl lol and then popped off that I liked her dress and asked if she was single. She said yeah, and I just said "well hey, I do gotta run- but would you want to grab a drink or something sometime?". We exchanged numbers, and drove off.

Damn, maybe I need to start a journal or something? Hmmm..

 

[Verisimilitude]

Dang! Sounds like you are getting the hang of it NarrowJ! How do you open them? I've never really tried day game, but I'd like to this summer. Any tips for overcoming the approach anxiety? That is always the hardest part for me.

 

[NarrowJ]

XC,

To be completely honest, I started with some really chicken-shit stuff. I was doing situational and indirect openers, in places where the girl wasn't moving. For instance, I'd try to talk to a girl in line at a cafe or a girl working in a clothing store. They're not going anyplace, so you can just comment on something there in the environment or some trinket she's wearing to get things started.

After a while, I decided to try to be more direct. I'd start stopping girls from the side and saying something like "I just had to stop you and tell you had the most interesting [style/hair/other]" and that doesn't seem to work all that well until you get rid of the approach anxiety. When a girl gets stopped by a really nervous guy, it startles them a bit.

Approach Anxiety: I had this too, big time. I'll be honest though, it didn't take me long to overcome it. A couple weeks ago I made myself go out and start approaching, and by the third day or so I was doing direct opens because I was no longer scared of the girl rejecting my opener. I mean, that first day I only approached 2 girls because I made myself so damn nervous that I knew I wasn't going to be effective. Then, each day it just got easier and easier until I no longer cared if I was getting blown out. So that's the key, really: just go out and make yourself do it.

Bottom line is that you've got to be able to handle being rejected. I was getting blown out by girls that I didn't really find attractive (and I was just approaching for practice, basically) and I would just be like "haha you've got to be kidding me!" and I'd laugh to myself. You'll soon come to realize that the girl doesn't accept or reject you, they're accepting or rejecting how you're opening them.

Final thing here, you're going to have to approach a ton of girls to get results at first. I was damn lucky that first day to get that girls number. As you saw in my subsequent posts, I never was able to get her out. Then the day I got 3 numbers- I bet I approached 10 or 12 girls that day.

Hope this helps, man. Once you get there, and do it a few days- you'll be golden!


Cheers,
NJ