FR Friday and Saturday, Handling State Management, Drunk vs Sober

[AspiringStoic]

Girls talk between each other and the town is around 300,000 people. I know some guys who burned through their reputation by spam approaching and got accused of accosting. I prefer to play it safe.

Thats more to do with their lack of calibration than how many women they spoke to. Since you are doing nightgame, you don't have to go direct and polarize every girl as soon as you open. Many people mock it nowadays, but I have a guy I know who does nightgame and does great with old school structured game.

When I have been out infield with him in bars/clubs I realize how anybody who sees him can never think of him as an "approacher". He does indirect opinion openers, proper stories and stacks that get girls laughing, talks to multiple groups of girls, merges sets and gets himself into the role of the "social connecter".

Then he is suddenly a high value guy just from the fact that he has just talked to multiple groups and introduced them to each other and is now the focal point and is surrounded by girls. And because he does this he comes across non needy and girls start competing for him and showing IOIs and then from there he just does some more teasing, isolation, escalation and takes them home.

During this entire process nobody thinks that he "approached" any girl. Its great to watch. It all looks natural. But he is following a very well rehearsed game plan and breaks it down for me. Its a lot more "work" than just approaching individual girls or randomly trying to dance with girls on the dancefloor. But man does it pay off. I think with his system he can lay girls long into his 40s and 50s.

I want to get this skillset as well. At the moment I am doing daygame but I see the amazing value in being able to do what he does. So if I were you, I would focus on developing this kind of game that I think Beckster and Mystery are the only ones still teaching.

But it is a longer road to success. It takes more work to become good at. But its an amazing skillset to have.

 

[Vibe]

Thats more to do with their lack of calibration than how many women they spoke to. Since you are doing nightgame, you don't have to go direct and polarize every girl as soon as you open. Many people mock it nowadays, but I have a guy I know who does nightgame and does great with old school structured game.

I usually don't even go direct. It forces a knee-jerk reaction. She just scans me over if I am her type or not and rejects. Doesn't give her much to decide on. Only works seldom. Just felt right in the moment and I needed to start talking to get out of my head.

When I have been out infield with him in bars/clubs I realize how anybody who sees him can never think of him as an "approacher". He does indirect opinion openers, proper stories and stacks that get girls laughing, talks to multiple groups of girls, merges sets and gets himself into the role of the "social connecter".

Then he is suddenly a high value guy just from the fact that he has just talked to multiple groups and introduced them to each other and is now the focal point and is surrounded by girls. And because he does this he comes across non needy and girls start competing for him and showing IOIs and then from there he just does some more teasing, isolation, escalation and takes them home.

During this entire process nobody thinks that he "approached" any girl. Its great to watch. It all looks natural. But he is following a very well rehearsed game plan and breaks it down for me. Its a lot more "work" than just approaching individual girls or randomly trying to dance with girls on the dancefloor. But man does it pay off. I think with his system he can lay girls long into his 40s and 50s.

I want to get this skillset as well. At the moment I am doing daygame but I see the amazing value in being able to do what he does. So if I were you, I would focus on developing this kind of game that I think Beckster and Mystery are the only ones still teaching.

But it is a longer road to success. It takes more work to become good at. But its an amazing skillset to have.

The big takeaway for me here is in order to even get to a point to run such game, I have to have a handle on my state and emotions. The whole night I was focused more on myself than on group dynamics and tactics. I need to have emotional regulation on lock, and not be even thinking about it so I can run game properly.

 

[AspiringStoic]

The big takeaway for me here is in order to even get to a point to run such game, I have to have a handle on my state and emotions. The whole night I was focused more on myself than on group dynamics and tactics. I need to have emotional regulation on lock, and not be even thinking about it so I can run game properly

This is true. If this is where you are at, then no shame in admitting that and starting extremely simple. When I was dabbling in nightgame and was petrified I was given a very simple beginner exercise to follow to slowly start getting comfortable talking to strangers in bars/clubs.

First of all, if you are at this stage, forget "picking up girls" for a while.

Go into a club/bar with a significantly big crowd.

Give yourself a target like I will open/approach 3-5 groups or sets.

Use very very simple and platonic openers. Things that don't make it look like you are hitting on anyone. And have a stack! An example that has worked for me:

You :Hey, are you from xyz? (your current city)

Them: .............. (whatever they say)

You: I am new to the city/I am not too familiar with the city. What are some other cool places in town?

Them: ........... (whatever they say)

You: I was in bar efg last week and a really funny/interesting thing happened. (insert any story that is slightly funny or interesting here.)

Them: ........

You: What is the funniest/strangest thing that has happened to you guys?



This is just an example. But I hope you get the idea. Its frowned upon nowadays but old school concepts like having a "stack" is really useful when you are a beginner. Like look at the example above.

It does so many things than just going up and saying hi.

- Its neutral and can be used for groups.

- It does not immediately polarize.

- It strikes a balance between you merely asking questions and provides some meat so that people can respond.

- It can be used on guys or girls or mixed groups.

- It provides several points where someome can hook and start engaging with you.

- It gives you control and you have a plan to just keep the convo going even if they don't hook at first.

- You have very little AA because you are not hitting on anyone.


I had a stack similar to this. If they did not hook I would just stack to telling another interesting story followed by a question or opinion.

Build a simple stack and go use it and get into 3-5 interactions. And now you are off and running and able to walk into bars alone and start being social. Try it and report here on what happened and then you can start tweaking things and getting more and more complex and transition into actually flirting and picking up girls.

 

[ChrisVirtue]

Any advice from advanced guys on how to manage your state better and how to push your own buttons when you go out sober? How do I stop being so self-concious?

Meditation helps.

Personally, the state management of drinking on some nights vs not drinking on others proved difficult. So I quit drinking all together.

I did previously find that if I when out sober for a few nights a week and then had 1-2 drinks on one game night every 1-2 weeks, that would "unlock" some higher game confidence within me.

It's actually crazy that if you are sober most of the time your tolerance goes down so that even 1 drink can get you buzzed.

how do you avoid developing a reputation, of 'that weird guy I see on the weekends in bars by himself', and also how do you avoid of building a reputation of 'that guy who approaches a lot of girls' while still approaching enough to get results?

You're probably overthinking this. We as humans tend to have a bias to overvalue our own actions.

The sad truth is no one is likely to remember you or give a fuck, unless you give them a strong reason to.

In fact, building rapport with the bartenders and bouncers of being a guy who is friendly with them and then approaching a lot of girls will over time increase your social value in the bar. If the male bartenders/bouncers see you pulling regularly they may be impressed and like you more as well lol.

If you are really deeply worried about your reputation in this city due to work or social circle factors, it's generally recommended to practice "higher risk" game in a different city or part of the city where you don't care about your rep.

I personally do this. I have an area in the city where I can do mass approaches to warm up when my game is ass. And I'll also leverage other areas when traveling to experiment with new material.

 

[OldGuy]

If she was attractive enough to approach, she did not turn into an ogre. Abandoning her is just your avoiding your own fear.