Friend zone

[ARC9942]

In early high school I was the tall skinny kid with a bowl cut that no girls would even notice which frustrated me after going through grade nine without even making friends with a girl I decided it was time to make a change I started out with trying to find a better hair style but I did not even have the confidence to change my hair for over a year after I started looking. I was worried about making my self-look worse. Finally, I decided to try a new style and immediately noticed a difference with how girls looked at me. Over the summer I changed my hair again and started trying to work on gaining weight since then I have gone from 6 foot 2 and 120 pounds to just under 180. I also started to pay attention to my clothes dressing much better than I ever have before. In these short 3 years, I have gone from invisible to one of the most popular people at my high school with many friends. I have hooked up with 6 girls never getting more than head.

But I have now run into a bit of a block as 4 of those girls were girls I became "friends" with in grade 10 and I have only hooked up with 2 girls in the last 2 years. Now many of my friends are girls but that is it friends. Every girl at school I talk to I end up being friend zoned I think because I am a "nice guy" I don't know what to do to get away from this nice guy personality. I know It is not my looks as girls often come to me at parties and start talking and flirting with me when this happens I get nervous and generally leave the conversation which frustrates me.

So basically I need to know what i have to do to stop being the "nice guy" and what I need to do to be able to talk to these girls at partys and flrt back with them.

I hope someone can help thanks AIdan

 

[Bboy100]

The friend zone and being a "nice guy" are two separate issues. Contrary to what the PUA industry promotes, girls don't friendzone guys because they're "nice guys". They friend zone them because of one of two reasons:

1. The girl was never sexually interested in him in the first place. You're just not their type. If that's the case, there's nothing you can really do about it.

2. You don't make your interest known. As a guy who hook ups with girls, but also has a lot of friends who are girls, I can tell you that the difference between the girls I hook up with and the girls I'm friends with is that I make my intentions with the girls I hook up with clear from the start. This includes but is not limited to:

- Escalating (specifically, kissing or more).
- Asking her if she's single.
- Telling her she's cute early on in the interaction
- Creating lots of sexual tension
- Asking her on a date.
- Asking her for a phone number (context being that you're going to go on a date with her)
- Flirting (be careful with this one. Some girls will flirt with you even if they have no intention of doing anything more)
...and so on

The point is to make it abundantly clear that you're interested in a romantic/sexual relationship with her. Once she understands that, she'll either step up to the plate and reciprocate (she's interested) or she'll turn you down by making up a bullshit excuse for why she can't go out with you (she's not interested).

Now....on a separate note. If you really think you're a "nice guy" (i.e. doormat/wimp), then I would highly recommend reading No More Mr. Nice Guy! by Robert Glover. He goes into more detail about what exactly "nice guy syndrome" is and how to deal with it than anyone else. Send me a PM if you're interested. I can get you a copy for free.

 

[lordkai5]

It's 1 AM and I'm so tired, so my writing might be kinda bad, but I have to respond to this post. I can relate to it so much, cause I've been there in jr high too.

You were obsessed with girls before becoming popular. That's why you idolize and treat them so well. Maybe not idolize, but you wanted to be that "perfect guy" for every girl you meet. And unfortunately, that type of thinking is what gets you friendzoned the most.

Because you never open up about your desires and own character flaws - she only sees that "perfect" side of you. Which is black and white. Girl's don't like black and white guys, they like genuine guys. That's also why jocks are able to hook up with hot girls so easily. Because many of them don't value girls as much as you or other nice guys do, they can more easily expose themselves.

You don't need to "flirt". You just need to be direct, not blunt, but say what you think. Girls like straightforward guys, not guys who spend 30 min thinking up a pick up line.
I got my first girlfriend, who was a solid 9, just by telling her "Hey I think you're hot. I like you", over snapchat. OVER SNAPCHAT. I knew there was a high possibility of rejection, but she didn't. In fact she appreciated my directness, "most guys can't do that"

First thing is you need to learn how to accept rejection. That girl you like right now, if you confess and she doesn't like you back, then move on. There's tons of hot girls in this world and it's not worth pursuing a girl who doesn't "like" you back, in that sense. Bboy100's first comment of:

1. The girl was never sexually interested in him in the first place. You're just not their type. If that's the case, there's nothing you can really do about it.

it's true. You can't change her mind. This isn't a fairytale. Hundreds of nice guys have already tried this and only worsened their relationship with the girl.
Your time is valuable, you're a great popular guy, who works out and is handsome. As long as you're direct about your feelings, you can get tons of girls. So don't give a shit if this one girl doesn't like you.

I really can't put more words out, but there's a lot more to be said. So if you liked what I talked about here, check out my article which I actually wrote yesterday about this very topic http://manyoulookgood.com/2016/11/04/become-a-genuine-alpha-and-start-getting-the-girls-you-want/ , for more details. I hope it helps you and anyone else having this friendzone problem.

Best of luck brother!

 

[Lucifer]

Now....on a separate note. If you really think you're a "nice guy" (i.e. doormat/wimp), then I would highly recommend reading No More Mr. Nice Guy! by Robert Glover. He goes into more detail about what exactly "nice guy syndrome" is and how to deal with it than anyone else. Send me a PM if you're interested. I can get you a copy for free.

Thanks for this recommendation, Bboy (even though it wasn't aimed at me). I found the book a very interesting read as it points out a lot of behaviors to really stay away from, some of which I'd been guilty of.