- Joined
- Jun 28, 2021
- Messages
- 412
She was at the bar with her friend, ordering drinks when are eyes met for the first time. We smiled at each other and I approached her with some cliche opener like cheers, how is your night or something like that. She was there with a friend, but I had some initial one-to-one time with her, as her friend was ordering a drink. There was immediately sexual energy between two of us, as she was touching my belly with her large tits. Honestly speaking I only approached her for the boobs, as otherwise she was rather mediocre.
My style of pickup especially in bars these days is to let her talk as much as possible, and let the sexual tension and comfort build over time. There was a problem however, because her friend was just a crazyyy talker. She wouldn't shut up for most of the time, which made the conversation a bit hard between me and my target girl.
I had to cut the thread twice, because this chick was just on and on, and the topics were work first and then politics later. I saw boredom inside myself and on my target girls' face. Luckily my positioning was good at the bar. We were standing along the bar, me, my target chick on the left, and her friend further down. So even though the other chick completely hijacked the convo, I was still able to communicate physically, and non-verbally with my chick because of close proximity.
The conversation was probably about 45 minutes in total, and I got really bored with it, not very motivated to do much with this set.
On the other hand I was still feeling these large titties on my chect, so I decided to take a kind of all-or-nothing shot.
I said to my girl, "I'm gonna head home soon. What are you up to?" And she said, that they are probably gonna stay here a bit longer. Since, this was a non-compliant move from my perspective, I looked the other way. Accidentally, in the direction were I looked there was another much hotter chick and I just looked at this other chick. I intentially looked at this other chick a little longer to see if she gets fear of missing out. It seems it worked as expected because she said few seconds later: "So are you gonna drive to PLACE_WHERE_I_LIVE alone?".
"Yeah, it sucks. Why don't you come with me, so we can have another drink at my place?"
"OK"
But there was a question what to do with her friend.
She said two to me: "Just me. Or my friend too?"
"Just you." [btw, this most recent thread was one-to-one between me and the target girl only]
"OK".
She started to think.
"OK, I will talk to her." ["Cool". I was thinking to myself. I was glad I didn't have to solve the isolation problem myself. As both of them had a pretty slutty vibe, talking about some other guys they met at this bar, I kind of knew they are there mostly to get laid, and they were probably pretty open about sharing their own adventures between each other]
Anyway, she talked to her friend, we said bye to her friend and we left to my car.
So far so good. The conversation in the car was just a normal conversation, however there was one thing off.
Along the normal conversation, time after time she would ask me: "And what if you are a psycho, and you are going to cut me into pieces."
Usually I reply to this sort of thing: "I'm a totally safe and normal guy. Nothing to worry about." Most of the time, it's enough actually. On regular occassions she would say the same thing twice, and I would just repeat the same answer. Most of the time this is all I need.
But this time was different.
In the 20 minutes ride, along the quite normal conversation, she asked this question like 5 times.
Overall, the vibe was normal. We we were having a conversation about life and friends, and on the traffic lights I would hold her hand and look at her. She reciprocated my touch. At some point she also talked to another one of her friends over the phone, telling her where she is going now, and discussing some dude her friend ditched. I commented on her talk with her friend, after which she said: "I hope you haven't changed your mind and you are going to to fuck me."
"No, I haven't changed my mind." I replied. I know it landed well because I started hearing how her breathing changed and she started to get more horny.
Everything was fine until we entered a parking lot near my apartment. There is a separate building for parkings, and if you don't know it, and you've been there for the first time in your life, at night, with a dude you dont' know at all... it can actually get scary.
Anyways, she didn't really show anything of herself in the parking yet. Before we entered my compound, we kissed twice, in the corridor and in the elevator. She was dtf - just jumping on me and kissing passionately.
But then... things started to go south when we entered the apartment. We continued kissing in the main room, but she stopped.
"Wait, something is wrong her."
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know I have a bad feeling."
"Do you want me to turn on the lights?" [There was only one small light on at this point]
"Yes"
"All right. Take it easy. I want you to feel comfortable. What don't you have a seat and I will pour us some red wine?"
"OK"
Then she kind of started touring my apartment. I had a computer with two large screens and she also found some printed photos of my friend with his kids on vacations. My uncle has a printing shop and I picked these photos for him, that's why they were on my table.
Anyways, this bitch saw these photos, and she was convinced that it was me! My friend has different hair color and different facial fair, but she just wouldn't fucking believe that it wasn't me! I turned on the lights, and showed her the photos, but she wouldn't fucking believe her own eyes.
She thought that I'm not honest with her that I lied to her, and that I live here with my family.
That wasn't it. Another story he made up in her mind that I'm not actually from the same country which she is. We are both from the same country, I was born and grew there, I speak without any hint of an accent. My look isn't typical for this country thought. I have to give it her.
But here is the funniest thing. She told me later that she got anxious when she saw my two screens and she connected this idea that I'm not actually who I claim to be, and I'm actually a foreigner... and she thought that... hear me now... a Bangladeshi Hacker
Anyway, she was serious about this anxiety. I was trying to give her all different proofs (even thought it was pretty obvious from rational perspective that she made up these stories in her head). But she wouldn't take them. She just kept repeating that "Something is not right here.", she started put her coat back on and ordered taxi.
Apart from giving her these proofs I also went the comfort path. I told her: "Hey, no worries at all. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do. If you don't feel comfortable, you are free to go any time. The door is open. You can change your mind at any time, and I'm not gonna push for anything."
She said thank you but still wanted to go home. I said: "No problem. Let me walk you back, so you don't have to walk throught the corridors on your own."
"OK"
We went downstairs, walked through the compound. At this point I didn't talk much, I was just like: "Whatever, at least I'm at home. I was about to leave the bar anyways." So we walked through the compound, and then her mood changed again. She was like, "So why don't you tell me something how to get the other way?". And I was like: "What are you talking about? Let me see where the taxi is. [checked the phone]. Yeah, we are going there."
"No, I mean the other way." I didn't get what she meant at first, but then I realized the bitch wanted me to convince her to go back to my place.
Anyways, it seems that being non-pushy, respecting her anxiousness and being outcome independent worked. I don't remember what I told her but she cancelled the taxi and we came back to my apartment.
But this is not the end of the fucking story.
We get back to the apartment, I pour us some wine, pass it to her and she... changes our glasses and gives the one I prepared for her, back to me. All right, she is really afraid I could get something into her drink. I have a sip from the glass she gave me, put it back on the table and start escalating.
She digs it initially. We kissed, I touched her neck and boobies, she took her own top off.
But then 'boom again'. The same story again. I have a bad feeling. I don't think you really are who you are. Bangladeshi, bangladeshi, bangladeshi. She starts putting her clothes back and orders taxi again.
Allright, I say. I'm just gonna play the comfort play again. If she wants to leave, I will walk her back.
But this time it takes her longer to get her clothes back on, and I go to the kitchen instead. Got myself a drink, and just kind of casually chilling in the kitchen, without paying too much attention to what she is doing.
She comes over. We go throught the script again, but this time I'm kind of giving her the reality check. "Hey, listen. I think you just made up this whole story in your mind. I did this this and this to convince you otherwise, but it doesn't work, and I don't think I will be able to change your mind, so... you know." And I don't really look at her, just kind of staring at the floor.
She comes closer, start kissing me, I hugged her, it feels like she is back in sexual state. I start touching her and put her hand on my cock. She keeps touching my cock through the trousers first. Then she puts her hands inside my pants. I decide to unzip the pants and put the underwear down and look down on my cock. She gets on her knees and starts blowing me. We take it all the way down from there.
LESSONS
It was actually pretty hillarious story as I see it now, even though it didn't really feel this way yesterday.
I need to give credit to @Chase' 'Girls are silly and cute' concept even if I don't apply it correctly.
Basically, I saw all her crazy ideas as just that - crazy silly thoughts. Looking at it from this perspective, instead of taking them seriously or personally, gave me enough perspective to handle this situation well.
And also I kind of understand why she would have these thoughts. It was really, pretty fast lay, the conversation phase was dominated by her friend talking, so she knew shit about me, then this parking lot anxiety. And this kept feeding stress into her, which created these crazy stories. So I'm glad I had distance and also took it empathically.
She also gave me a pretty good feedback after sex. She said: "I have a feeling that you are rushing somewhere all the time. I don't feel anything romantic about it." She is totally correct. I know that I'm rushing things, and my nervous system is often overstimulated, and chicks feel it. "Move faster" concept didn't help here. Maybe I don't understand it well or it's just not for me, but it usually makes my game worse when I try to move faster.
Anyways, the main learning for me, is to be more relaxed, slow down, be more patient, and continue doing all things which work me.
My style of pickup especially in bars these days is to let her talk as much as possible, and let the sexual tension and comfort build over time. There was a problem however, because her friend was just a crazyyy talker. She wouldn't shut up for most of the time, which made the conversation a bit hard between me and my target girl.
I had to cut the thread twice, because this chick was just on and on, and the topics were work first and then politics later. I saw boredom inside myself and on my target girls' face. Luckily my positioning was good at the bar. We were standing along the bar, me, my target chick on the left, and her friend further down. So even though the other chick completely hijacked the convo, I was still able to communicate physically, and non-verbally with my chick because of close proximity.
The conversation was probably about 45 minutes in total, and I got really bored with it, not very motivated to do much with this set.
On the other hand I was still feeling these large titties on my chect, so I decided to take a kind of all-or-nothing shot.
I said to my girl, "I'm gonna head home soon. What are you up to?" And she said, that they are probably gonna stay here a bit longer. Since, this was a non-compliant move from my perspective, I looked the other way. Accidentally, in the direction were I looked there was another much hotter chick and I just looked at this other chick. I intentially looked at this other chick a little longer to see if she gets fear of missing out. It seems it worked as expected because she said few seconds later: "So are you gonna drive to PLACE_WHERE_I_LIVE alone?".
"Yeah, it sucks. Why don't you come with me, so we can have another drink at my place?"
"OK"
But there was a question what to do with her friend.
She said two to me: "Just me. Or my friend too?"
"Just you." [btw, this most recent thread was one-to-one between me and the target girl only]
"OK".
She started to think.
"OK, I will talk to her." ["Cool". I was thinking to myself. I was glad I didn't have to solve the isolation problem myself. As both of them had a pretty slutty vibe, talking about some other guys they met at this bar, I kind of knew they are there mostly to get laid, and they were probably pretty open about sharing their own adventures between each other]
Anyway, she talked to her friend, we said bye to her friend and we left to my car.
So far so good. The conversation in the car was just a normal conversation, however there was one thing off.
Along the normal conversation, time after time she would ask me: "And what if you are a psycho, and you are going to cut me into pieces."
Usually I reply to this sort of thing: "I'm a totally safe and normal guy. Nothing to worry about." Most of the time, it's enough actually. On regular occassions she would say the same thing twice, and I would just repeat the same answer. Most of the time this is all I need.
But this time was different.
In the 20 minutes ride, along the quite normal conversation, she asked this question like 5 times.
Overall, the vibe was normal. We we were having a conversation about life and friends, and on the traffic lights I would hold her hand and look at her. She reciprocated my touch. At some point she also talked to another one of her friends over the phone, telling her where she is going now, and discussing some dude her friend ditched. I commented on her talk with her friend, after which she said: "I hope you haven't changed your mind and you are going to to fuck me."
"No, I haven't changed my mind." I replied. I know it landed well because I started hearing how her breathing changed and she started to get more horny.
Everything was fine until we entered a parking lot near my apartment. There is a separate building for parkings, and if you don't know it, and you've been there for the first time in your life, at night, with a dude you dont' know at all... it can actually get scary.
Anyways, she didn't really show anything of herself in the parking yet. Before we entered my compound, we kissed twice, in the corridor and in the elevator. She was dtf - just jumping on me and kissing passionately.
But then... things started to go south when we entered the apartment. We continued kissing in the main room, but she stopped.
"Wait, something is wrong her."
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know I have a bad feeling."
"Do you want me to turn on the lights?" [There was only one small light on at this point]
"Yes"
"All right. Take it easy. I want you to feel comfortable. What don't you have a seat and I will pour us some red wine?"
"OK"
Then she kind of started touring my apartment. I had a computer with two large screens and she also found some printed photos of my friend with his kids on vacations. My uncle has a printing shop and I picked these photos for him, that's why they were on my table.
Anyways, this bitch saw these photos, and she was convinced that it was me! My friend has different hair color and different facial fair, but she just wouldn't fucking believe that it wasn't me! I turned on the lights, and showed her the photos, but she wouldn't fucking believe her own eyes.
She thought that I'm not honest with her that I lied to her, and that I live here with my family.
That wasn't it. Another story he made up in her mind that I'm not actually from the same country which she is. We are both from the same country, I was born and grew there, I speak without any hint of an accent. My look isn't typical for this country thought. I have to give it her.
But here is the funniest thing. She told me later that she got anxious when she saw my two screens and she connected this idea that I'm not actually who I claim to be, and I'm actually a foreigner... and she thought that... hear me now... a Bangladeshi Hacker
Anyway, she was serious about this anxiety. I was trying to give her all different proofs (even thought it was pretty obvious from rational perspective that she made up these stories in her head). But she wouldn't take them. She just kept repeating that "Something is not right here.", she started put her coat back on and ordered taxi.
Apart from giving her these proofs I also went the comfort path. I told her: "Hey, no worries at all. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do. If you don't feel comfortable, you are free to go any time. The door is open. You can change your mind at any time, and I'm not gonna push for anything."
She said thank you but still wanted to go home. I said: "No problem. Let me walk you back, so you don't have to walk throught the corridors on your own."
"OK"
We went downstairs, walked through the compound. At this point I didn't talk much, I was just like: "Whatever, at least I'm at home. I was about to leave the bar anyways." So we walked through the compound, and then her mood changed again. She was like, "So why don't you tell me something how to get the other way?". And I was like: "What are you talking about? Let me see where the taxi is. [checked the phone]. Yeah, we are going there."
"No, I mean the other way." I didn't get what she meant at first, but then I realized the bitch wanted me to convince her to go back to my place.
Anyways, it seems that being non-pushy, respecting her anxiousness and being outcome independent worked. I don't remember what I told her but she cancelled the taxi and we came back to my apartment.
But this is not the end of the fucking story.
We get back to the apartment, I pour us some wine, pass it to her and she... changes our glasses and gives the one I prepared for her, back to me. All right, she is really afraid I could get something into her drink. I have a sip from the glass she gave me, put it back on the table and start escalating.
She digs it initially. We kissed, I touched her neck and boobies, she took her own top off.
But then 'boom again'. The same story again. I have a bad feeling. I don't think you really are who you are. Bangladeshi, bangladeshi, bangladeshi. She starts putting her clothes back and orders taxi again.
Allright, I say. I'm just gonna play the comfort play again. If she wants to leave, I will walk her back.
But this time it takes her longer to get her clothes back on, and I go to the kitchen instead. Got myself a drink, and just kind of casually chilling in the kitchen, without paying too much attention to what she is doing.
She comes over. We go throught the script again, but this time I'm kind of giving her the reality check. "Hey, listen. I think you just made up this whole story in your mind. I did this this and this to convince you otherwise, but it doesn't work, and I don't think I will be able to change your mind, so... you know." And I don't really look at her, just kind of staring at the floor.
She comes closer, start kissing me, I hugged her, it feels like she is back in sexual state. I start touching her and put her hand on my cock. She keeps touching my cock through the trousers first. Then she puts her hands inside my pants. I decide to unzip the pants and put the underwear down and look down on my cock. She gets on her knees and starts blowing me. We take it all the way down from there.
LESSONS
It was actually pretty hillarious story as I see it now, even though it didn't really feel this way yesterday.
I need to give credit to @Chase' 'Girls are silly and cute' concept even if I don't apply it correctly.
Basically, I saw all her crazy ideas as just that - crazy silly thoughts. Looking at it from this perspective, instead of taking them seriously or personally, gave me enough perspective to handle this situation well.
And also I kind of understand why she would have these thoughts. It was really, pretty fast lay, the conversation phase was dominated by her friend talking, so she knew shit about me, then this parking lot anxiety. And this kept feeding stress into her, which created these crazy stories. So I'm glad I had distance and also took it empathically.
She also gave me a pretty good feedback after sex. She said: "I have a feeling that you are rushing somewhere all the time. I don't feel anything romantic about it." She is totally correct. I know that I'm rushing things, and my nervous system is often overstimulated, and chicks feel it. "Move faster" concept didn't help here. Maybe I don't understand it well or it's just not for me, but it usually makes my game worse when I try to move faster.
Anyways, the main learning for me, is to be more relaxed, slow down, be more patient, and continue doing all things which work me.
There's more..?
