Fun little what would you do! Self sabotage?

[cruiser]

got a fun one here guys, interested to hear your thoughts and how you would play this situation!

Saw cute asian girl at a sit down table at a bar with her friend. I approach and hook make sure I’m a cool guy with them. I tell her friend I think you’re both cute but I’m kinda vibing more with your friend here she’s cute .



Her friend super approved of me. She said yes go for it she needs it! Wow she was fucking cool! And I was talking to my girl. Other girl left. Girl was fine staying alone I scoot next to her.



So it was going well, and I was getting small kino in there (back touches when talking shoulder taps when talking) but that was it. I felt awkward escalating because of this dialogue.

Her: I used to be so naive, but at bars I’m so skeptical of people because they just want psychical stuff. (I was just using small kino) not you though

Me: oh really?



Her; you’re kind of a mystery I want to know when were you naive and how did that change you? (Lmfao deep thinking girl is she trying to get me to convince her to fuck her??)



Me: well hmm are you an open person? I’m not a very judgmental guy so this convo would only work that way



Her: sure I’ll be an open person I mean I have no choice right ?



Me: where u from btw?



Her: x town



Me: okay yeah you’re pretty mature and open everyone from x town is so...



I go into a sex talk gambit, where I used to believe girls orgasmed all the time when having sex but then I realized that it should be a little focused on making the girl orgasm because they don’t always and because otherwise it’s just a dude jacking off inside her. (I should have brought up the 8 diff types of orgasm here) where we both end up Agreeing that girls should be able to orgasm when having sex and if it happens it happens if it doesn’t then at least he’s trying.



Her: you know I feel super skeptical of people in bars



Me: oh really why so? Not sure if there are any Russian spies here today but it’s a good idea to keep an eye for that



Her; lolll but I just think people have bad intentions at bars but not you tho! Just in general



Me; oh really like what can you elaborate ?



Her: like I feel like they just go for psychically features and hook ups and one night stands. Like I just feel super skeptical of people when they approach me at bars not you in general just in general (wtf lmfao I’m thinking ??)



Me; (my boner was dying a little bit) oh really I kinda see what your saying, I feel like an emotional connection makes it way better!



Her; that is super true but like just meeting someone at a bar for me is just so weird because of that statement. Like I’m going to be honest with you, I really just got out of something recently and I really wanna just work on myself but I don’t want someone for psychical i want someone to better me and push me in my corporate direction and challenge me to things I thought I could never do.



Me: gotcha I agree totally



She says it like 5 more times and not saying me in general but I got confused here. So I tried something.



I said

Me: wow you’re already categorizing me in boyfriend I’m deff not boyfriend material ! I get bored of girls reallllly easy.



She went on some pursuing her career more gambit zzz.



I said hey hold that thought I’m gonna use the bathroom real quick.



I was gonna leave that convo and go for someone else which I did and she totally saw me flirt with her and hold her hand and spin her around but!!



She stayed put in that same seat for like 20 minutes. Alone. Looking at her phone.



I ended up leaving with my buddy but I glanced and saw her friend talk to her drunkenly loud “aw man he’s leaving why!! what did you do?? he was actually cute!”



couldn’t go back in cuz bar was closing and bouncer wouldn’t let me back in but.



Some things I wanna really learn and takeaway from this cuz I think I had some success here. Cuz I just wanted to fuck her honestly maybe see her again but.

1. I felt awkward trying to escalate and hold her hand or play more with touching after she said “people at bars just go for pshyicality” should I have touched her or just small kino what I was doing?
2. Moved her around?
3. Did the sex talk gambit reveal my true cards ..?

I wasn’t 100% sure what my moves should have been. I wanted to get her out and back to my place lol.

 

[BigPapa]

One thing that you should always keep in mind is that to never take what girls say at face value . It does not matter what she says as long as you escalate and she is comfortable with that
And always push push push till she starts running and screaming ( joking ofc , but you get the idea )

 

[Velasco]

I go into a sex talk gambit, where I used to believe girls orgasmed all the time when having sex but then I realized that it should be a little focused on making the girl orgasm because they don’t always and because otherwise it’s just a dude jacking off inside her. (I should have brought up the 8 diff types of orgasm here) where we both end up Agreeing that girls should be able to orgasm when having sex and if it happens it happens if it doesn’t then at least he’s trying.

8 different orgasms definitely would've been a good route to take from here. But really the main thing is to just stay on the topic. Because as you can see, once she agrees with you and you don't say anything to her agreement (maybe you did), that topic's dead, and she might end up taking the lead and bring the conversation to what she wants to talk about (skeptical about guy's intentions). Which is unproductive to what we're trying do (but you can still turn her concern around. Which I'll get to later). A good rule of thumb is: after making an observation/realization about something, ask her if she's ever experienced that...for investment.

example from one of my routines:

What about you what’s your favorite position? The one that gives you most pleasure. what is it that you like about X? yeah I like X position too. It used to make me cum mad fast tho. Have you experienced that before? a guy lasting 30 seconds?

So with your example, after she's agreed with you, you could've asked her if she always orgasms with guys she hooks up with? And keep the conversation going. Because whether or not a girl cums with every guy, is a Seduction Oriented Topic (SOT) https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/seduction-oriented-topics.21690/

Which is any topic that gets her thinking about shit that moves the seduction forward. The goal, is to get to an SOT and involve her in the discussion. and stay there as long as possible. Which helps build sexual tension, to answer your question from your other thread.

Her: like I feel like they just go for psychically features and hook ups and one night stands. Like I just feel super skeptical of people when they approach me at bars not you in general just in general (wtf lmfao I’m thinking ??)

Gunwitch on when girls talk about not being into one night stands (anymore):

"nah I don't do one night stands either, I like to really connect with someone, I mean sex is fun, but do you notice the difference when you are really connected with someone how much better the sex is [I would add, "versus just going for someone who is just physically attractive" for this girl to create further contrast], how you relax and enjoy all the little details....."

 

[cruiser]

8 different orgasms definitely would've been a good route to take from here. But really the main thing is to just stay on the topic. Because as you can see, once she agrees with you and you don't say anything to her agreement (maybe you did), that topic's dead, and she might end up taking the lead and bring the conversation to what she wants to talk about (skeptical about guy's intentions). Which is unproductive to what we're trying do (but you can still turn her concern around. Which I'll get to later). A good rule of thumb is: after making an observation/realization about something, ask her if she's ever experienced that...for investment.

example from one of my routines:

What about you what’s your favorite position? The one that gives you most pleasure. what is it that you like about X? yeah I like X position too. It used to make me cum mad fast tho. Have you experienced that before? a guy lasting 30 seconds?

So with your example, after she's agreed with you, you could've asked her if she always orgasms with guys she hooks up with? And keep the conversation going. Because whether or not a girl cums with every guy, is a Seduction Oriented Topic (SOT) https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/seduction-oriented-topics.21690/

Which is any topic that gets her thinking about shit that moves the seduction forward. The goal, is to get to an SOT and involve her in the discussion. and stay there as long as possible. Which helps build sexual tension, to answer your question from your other thread.



Gunwitch on when girls talk about not being into one night stands (anymore):

"nah I don't do one night stands either, I like to really connect with someone, I mean sex is fun, but do you notice the difference when you are really connected with someone how much better the sex is [I would add, "versus just going for someone who is just physically attractive" for this girl to create further contrast], how you relax and enjoy all the little details....."

Dude I love this. It makes complete sense