Game at 40+

[mrmoose]

Brief background. Almost got married at 28 but it ended badly. I continued to meet and date girls and had a couple relationships that lasted a while, but honestly my heart just wasn't in it and I lost interest and just focused on my career. Got back in amazing shape and started getting active again and it's like I'm a 20 something again mentally, weird but awesome.

Alright with that out of the way, I am interested in girls around 25-30. I have read everything Chase has and it is really solid and makes sense. What if anything do I need to calibrate to the girls I'm interested in? I'm aware that some girls just like older men, but I don't know if that is cultural or daddy issues or anything like that I should be concerned about. It sounds weak but I have considered moving to Europe since that is an option because for one thing I just like the girls better but also think this "might" be less of an issue for them but also realize that is a serious limiting belief I need to tackle.

Anyway thanks!

 

[Dash]

Good to hear you're back in the game, Moose.

I think it's extra important for an older dude to keep a chill attitude... coupled with a bit of "girls are cute and silly." Chase mentioned in GC post that it's especially important for an older man to not appear overly excited or impressed with younger women. You are the man who's been there and done that - not her.

I find day game works better for me than night, and bars better than clubs. But that's me - I've never been comfortable in clubs. If you're giving off some kind of older guy vibe at a club, with no social proof (knowing the staff, there with a group), then I think you risk having women slot you into the "older guy out chasing tail" category. Automatic auto-rejection.

I've had better experiences in bars, solo or with a group. Social places where you can better display your chill. If you go out in a group, being the calm, slightly bemused older but attractive guy should get you some attention. Monitor who is eye-balling you, catch her gaze, then work your way into an approach. Watch for those girls who do have a thing for older men.

If the girl is a lot younger, and you strike up a conversation, she will inevitably ask how old you are. I'm still working on the best way to approach this. I think I may start going on the offensive instead of waiting for the question - ask her how old she is, then tease, challenge.

 

[mrmoose]

Thanks that helps. I am kind of more interested in day game and like you I haven't been into clubs really for a while, would feel weird anyway

 

[Dash]

Day game is hard because there's no liquid courage and no social context. You are walking up to girls and saying hello. Sounds easy, right? In practice it takes a lot of guts.

My day game is a work in progress. I think it makes a lot of sense for the older dude. If your fundamentals are tight then there are few women who will fail to be flattered by getting some attention. So even saying hello and offering a random woman a compliment, watching her smile and flick at her hair... that helps build the confidence and reference points to start working the daylight hours. Day game probably takes a bit of the tail-chasing stigma off your approach. And as multiple GC articles state: there are a LOT of high end women out there who you will never meet at a night spot.

I practice in malls. Certain bars that are busy during the day can also be fun.

 

[mrmoose]

And as multiple GC articles state: there are a LOT of high end women out there who you will never meet at a night spot.

This is exactly what interests me. Been there done that with the club girls in my 20s, not that interested lol. I don't drink anymore anyway so will have to do this the hard way regardless.

 

[PinotNoir]

This may or may not help you since you're wanting to focus on day game more...

But, I've been out a few times with 2 coworkers that are older than me. One is in his 40s, and the other is early 30s. I'm 25 by the way. I wish I could hang out with them more, but they're pretty busy; I've only hung out with them 3 times after work.

The guy in his 40s dresses sharp, has the sexy "eye look" down to an art (looks like fucking Michelangelo sculpted his expressions), and has tons of intriguing stories/culture/etc. His only 2 cons is that he's fatter than me and the guy in his 30s and can sometimes talk too much with girls without asking a question (but this is rare). 40s and 30s guy both shape their facial hair better than me. I pretty much just always have a 5 o'clock shadow and shave the neck.

I think the best thing in 40s guy arsenal is stories/culture. If a girl mentions a book, country, etc., he instantly knows something relatable. He may go on about a great story, but usually has something interesting to add/ask. He's well-traveled, well-read, and has socialized enough to be an easy conversationalist. (e.g., if a girl says that she's been to India, I'm just like, "Ah yeah, that naan bread is so delicious; favorite cuisine?" (haha) while he'll have something a bit more interesting about history/culture, "Remember the war of...." or "The ancient philosophers of India...." or "Did you go to BlahBlah-Interesting-Place while there...?".)

The 30s guy is crazy, no other way to put it. He has super high energy, and basically doesn't care. The last time we went out (last year sometime) we were sitting at a bar and he was throwing ice at a group of girls at the other end of the bar. He'll sometimes yell (usually outside) or say some crazy comment to a girl as she's passing. As I said before, he doesn't care. The first 2-4 groups will usually turn him down. But then, there will always be a group that likes his craziness and starts talking with us. Then this is where 40s guy comes in. He's just standing chill, mellow, suave and always gets the most attractive girl interested in him (I've only been out with them 3 times, so I don't know if "always"). 30s guy may do something crazy, but 40s guy will just smile slightly. I usually end up talking with the youngest girl in the group lol (usually very early 20s).

Anyway, this probably wasn't all that helpful... But, if you befriend a crazy or high energy guy, go out with him. You will be the chill, suave guy getting the most attractive girls. I guarantee it.

 

[mrmoose]

Yeah that is interesting. Circumstances but will probably be going out alone mostly for a while anyway, most of my friends are married. Wings and stuff like that will come with time I'm sure. I do have an interesting background and have been all over the place (was military for 10 years) and seen a lot of crap first hand. Will have to use that to my advantage.