Gauging results and handling social circle rebuffs

[Baldr]

What's up girlschase crew. Haven't posted in a while but I've been practicing using tips listed out here and with plenty of trial and error and I'm starting to see the light more than I ever have before. But onto my question. I've been working at a store for about 3 months now and have been able to build up a sort of "bad boy egotistical" persona for myself; so far it's allowed me to freely flirt and get close to just a couple of the girls who work here. Namely one girl who, despite being very conservative and a fiancé, is relatively open to flirting with me. We dance together, give out hugs. I bump my ass against hers every now and then and she tells me "Blah blah blah I'm getting married!" But still continues to hang around me after (I've learned a lot from the reactions vs results articles." And it's gotten to the point where with her and the other girl I'm able to cup my hand behind theirs while they hold something and leave it there and get close to her (a gargantuan improvement from the nice guy I used to be).

So over time I've ramped up our interactions and have been getting steadily closer to her until today. While we were horsin around doing the slight touchy feely thing I grabbed her hand by the top, feeling especially bold, and held onto it for longer than usual. She retracted slowly and then looked at me and said "Did you try to hold my hand??" And then she walked over to her friend a little bit away and said somewhat loudly "Blah blah blah just tried to hold my hand!!" And the other chick (being ny friend too and relatively easy going about EVERYTHING) just laughed and said "oh she's getting married you need to watch yourself!" My baser instincts told me to deny it and I followed with multiple middle school style "no I didn'ts" and "that wasn't what happeneds." Nobody really talked about it afterwards that much but I'm wondering how I can gauge compliance in an environment like this without risking my social circle standing. I'm a very physical person as I've learned and often that is how I gauge compliance. It seemed like since she let me hold the back of her hand the day before while she was reading something that today, if I did it while we were flirting with no excuses as to why just raw flirtation, that it would be fine. And if it wasn't she wouldn't just go off and tell the world what happened. I'm confused GC. I've taken a lot of risks and acted far outside of my normal nice guy behavior to reach this point and now it's kinda ruined with BOTH of the girls I've been able to get this close to. I've accepted it as a learning experience but now I need to know what to learn. All advice is appreciated and I look forward to some insight. Thanks GC crew.

Baldr

 

[Mars]

Hey Baldr!

As a fellow newbie, I invite you to take my advice with a grain of salt. I don't really have much experience with girls in general.

I have had this public rebuff experience a couple of times in social circle ( girls just "alerting the media" about something I did ). What has worked best for me so far is to go colder on the girl, but keep talking normal with everyone else. If anyone brings it up, just play it down "Hey I've touched her hand not her ass!" "We were just fooling about" "It was just flirting".
People generally don't really remember these things. After a fuck-up that went public, I used to believe everyone labelled me as "that guy" and nobody wanted to talk to me anymore, but I've found out that's not the case. I'd ask people a couple of days later about it and everyone said "what are you talking about?" or "oh I'd totally forgot about that". Funny thing is, if YOU are always anxious about it, you'll get all awkward around people and THAT will lead to people being colder around you, not the event itself.
As for the girl, once I've seen that sort of thing, personally I've never pushed things forward, but remained friendly yet aloof around her. I always noticed a spike in attraction on the girl's side when I did this, so who knows you might get her. I think, this should be answered by a more advanced forum member.

Just my 2 cents. I'm glad you managed to put it behind you, and are doing well flirting and touching girls.
All the best.
Mars

 

[Fuck This]

I have a rule about not flirting or pursuing any girl I work with. This is precisely why. Women have way too much leverage in Sexual harassment claims and can be flat out vindictive. It is a good way to be disciplined if she complains to a superior.

An example I ran into was an attached woman who was making suggestive texts to me about spending time alone together with a wink. I had a phone conversation where I put it on the line as to whether she was really interested and she hesitated. When I told her I was relieved she wasn't totally serious, she became almost offended. She acted as if she was the unwilling recipient of the flirting. Her comments to me became critical and biting. As a result, I had to go no-contact. What probably happened was she wanted a little innocent ego boost and when I called her on it she panicked.

I'd recommend not pursuing any flirting with someone in your social circle, unless you are willing to totally OWN it. "Yep I think she has sexy hands." If you feel you have to deny it, then it would be inappropriate to pursue.