general advice needed with a hot one

[lex78]

Hey guys , just looking for some general advice here.

Went out with a really hot one I've been getting to know lately.
We had one of those faster get to know eachother first dates that lasted about a couple hours over a drink and food.
I kept the conversation funny and had us laughing most of the time.
I ended the date (as I've been doing with most of our texts ) on my own accord.
I walked her to her car and ended up getting the cheek (I probably would have rathered a headbutt )
I've always considered the cheek to be bitter failure and was ready to abandon ship but on a friend's advice I followed up with texts and she responds immediately most of the time as well as listening to me about homework I gave her to check out a few tunes we discussed.

I totally understand the principle of trying to fuck asap , but it was just not happening on that night. She did seem to have her guard up.

My questions are : should I next this already? Be persistent and setup another date ?
Would you guys recommend talking about more serious stuff and relationships in general with her? I realize that may sound crazy but these women seem to love talking about this shit whenever they get a chance and it seems to draw them in closer.
Any good ideas how to initiate this if I go this route ?

My game must be pretty good in general as most of the women I've gone out with lately would want to get it on by the second date. The problem is they tend to be single mothers or women who are more trouble than they are worth even for a fuck.

What gives?

Thanks

 

[Ex Procastinator]

First thing from the title I can tell your already putting this girl on a pedestal try to avoid that.

A way you can do that is by instead of rating girls put them in either would or wouldn't fuck. Typically you wouldn't take a girl on a date you wouldn't fuck.

Another way which requires a lot of outcome independence is just treating girls with a devils would do are attitude for me I just be myself sledge a little a treat them like I would anyone else who's path I crossed ugly or hot

Next point

We had one of those faster get to know eachother first dates that lasted about a couple hours over a drink and food.

I don't think that is a fast date would say fairly standard but depends on the person and their style. Only reason I make this comment is to try give you a mind set cause from what I read you have a version of one of my old sticking points which was I would analyse things and then use them as excuses for not getting the end game result.

The mind set I use now and I recommend is that anything which happens that's results in me not getting an LR is my fault and solely mine not the taxi drivers for being slow not the friends for hanging around not anyone's . This way it urges you to find what areas you need to work and improve on I.e. Obtaining social proof so you don't get cocked blocked by friends

In your case it would be getting a girl to relax and open up from what I read.

Question did you try and pull or did you assume cause she didn't open up she didn't want to? (Unless your constantly picking up women or get a firm they won't go home with you I know that with my current experience level and probably yours you don't know if she wanted to or not)

I kept the conversation funny and had us laughing most of the time.

Getting girls to laugh is a good skill to have to break tension I typically use it when my natural friend is pulling and I'm handling the friend who makes the whole world her enemy ( it's hard to act like your angry) when your laughing

But something which I need to work on and which I feel like you could implement is increasing the dept of the conversation laughing throughout is alright but to get to know someone or to get a girl to feel a connection and comfortable around you, you need to do more than just make her laugh.

But as I mentioned before that laughing skill is very useful got initially breaking down high walls and if you are duo gaming can get you some potential cheeky lays without much effort.

My questions are : should I next this already? Be persistent and setup another date ?
Would you guys recommend talking about more serious stuff and relationships in general with her? I realize that may sound crazy but these women seem to love talking about this shit whenever they get a chance and it seems to draw them in closer.
Any good ideas how to initiate this if I go this route ?

Don't next her

Did you mention another date in your previous date if so that's a good point or anything which you could relate for a second e.g. If you mentioned cooking or a movie you both wanted to see that's an easy way to invite her over

With the second date be very assumptive like you know she is going to say yes your just trying to figure logistics . I.e. Which day this week did you say you where free again? Or something to that effect you can be even more direct what ever suites your style
( if she doesn't want to go on another one then you can next her or if your friends good social proof and women also make wicked wingmen they notice all the indications of interest I don't see)

The problem is they tend to be single mothers or women who are more trouble than they are worth even for a fuck.

Poor excuse

That make sure you set the expectation and mirror it with your actions

May seem like I'm roasting but pretend it's my post when replying and i love when people give me info to work with

 

[Bboy100]

Depends on your ethics, intent and the amount of time you're willing to invest.
If you're looking at an LTR of some sort with her, then just keep doing what you're doing. It's not that important whether or not you kiss her. There are million reasons why she might give you the cheek which have nothing to do with how much she liked you. Just keep in mind that this seems to be the type of girl who will probably go on a LOT of dates before she allows the relationship too become physical.

If you're looking for a hookup or STR, I recommend NEXTing her, because not only are you likely to set the wrong expectations and eventually hurt her, but it's also just not an efficient use of your time (i.e. if you have to go on 6+ dates just to fuck her...you might as well just find a different more open-minded girl).

Would you guys recommend talking about more serious stuff and relationships in general with her? I realize that may sound crazy but these women seem to love talking about this shit whenever they get a chance and it seems to draw them in closer.

If you want to, go for it. At this point, I firmly believe that it doesn't really matter what you talk about. Your non-verbals and presence are 10x more important than anything you might say. Think of your words as context through which you show off your non-verbals.

My game must be pretty good in general as most of the women I've gone out with lately would want to get it on by the second date. The problem is they tend to be single mothers or women who are more trouble than they are worth even for a fuck.

What gives?

Two possible reasons for this:
1. You're not attractive enough for women you're looking for. You know this is the case if you're talking to/doing approaches on this type of girl, but they're blowing you off or otherwise are uninterested in going on dates with you. If this is the case, you must improve your attractiveness.

2. You're looking in the wrong places. If you're not even meeting higher quality women to begin with, then you need to look elsewhere so you can find what you're looking for.

 

[Lawliet]

I would 100% keep her and continue on the path man! If she's still responding, keep moving forward.

I have not tested this, BUT most guys on here and around the dating world seem to agree that NOT making out/kiss on the lips is actually the way to go if you aren't going to escalate to sex. The kiss on the cheek seems really good for following up. I don't think that was a bad thing at all, maybe actually got her more into you.

Press on my man. I would recommend setting up a second date at your place, i.e. cooking or movie or something.

Radeng

Haha yup! I was thinking "Cheek's not bad at all!" even if sex does entail.
Good job and keep it up!

@Radeng, what if you don't have a pad you can bring her for something like cooking or movie and she lives with her parents,
what would you do in that case?

Lawliet

 

[lex78]

Hey guys!
Awesome advice from all of you!
Here's the update and response to your suggestions.
I decided to keep moving forward as she has been receptive and you all agree with this.
She has been in contact with me every day since going out.

1. I agree the subject title is poor as it puts her on a pedestal
2. I have improved my texting technique to fewer texts and I basically said "hey let's go do whatever whatever next week, what day works for you ? " I avoid asking women if they "want" to do something and just tell them we should. I only ask what day is good for them. This avoids me looking weak and gives lots of options to make it happen unless she really doesn't want to.
Her response was : "that sounds awesome! I'm in"
Do you all agree that fewer texts is a stronger approach?
3. The next date is out on the town but she does own her place so I was going to suggest picking her up. If she agrees but doesn't invite me in at the end of the night would that be a fail?
4. I'm willing to invest in this one so I'm ok with taking some time as long as it looks like she is invested to move forward.
5. I will work on my presence and mix up the conversation with more depth.
6. To be completely honest, I believe I'm considered a very attractive man to women. She knows what I look like and has agreed to go out again so that must say something. I'm 5"9, maybe if I was 6 feet that would be more desirable but I'd be inclined to think my presence is what would be my downfall not looks. And either way not much I can do about height. I also agree I've been known to look in the wrong places. The fact that she would bother texting me while cooking Christmas dinner with her mom is promising, after all what better "out" could she have taken advantage if not the holidays?
7. She seemed maybe a little nervous at the end of the first date and I wasn't forcefully trying to kiss her on the mouth so it could be a good thing. I agree this seems like the type of girl who would go out on a LOT of dates for physical interaction.
8. I have my own place but the sale closes in 2 months, I also have a family house where noone lives right now but me. I'm a little nervous to take her to the family house because it may look like I'm lying about owning a place but on the other hand its a lot easier to invite a girl over than wait for an invitation. What should I do in this situation?

Let me know what you all think.
Thanks! !

 

[lex78]

Ok so we went out the second time, I offered to pick her up and she really liked the idea . We went out and had a fun night , I did the basic touchiness and she responded well.

At one point I felt like the momentum was going down a bit so I used a strategy to get into a more depth conversation and that worked really well. She got excited about my insight into things.

I think she fits into the soft inexperienced category which is apparently great for me as I am in the soft experienced category (I'd rather be in the strong experienced)
She also says that she has always been pretty shy.
I drove her home and she was very receptive and easily kissed me for a lengthy period this time.

Due to logistics (terrible weather and the fact that she knows i have to work early ) I did not attempt to invite myself into her place as given her nature I think the timing would have been off and I could potentially scare her away.

I know I have to get physical asap. I will suggest the get together for dinner and a movie at her place. Do you think this would be a good idea for our next meeting given what I've told you about her?

The positives here are :
1. She warmed up a lot since the first date
2. She basically agrees with my suggestions to do anything I say
3. If I text her she literary responds within minutes regardless of the time

The negative here is that I have been the one to initiate almost all texts and contact and then it ends abruptly. Should daily convos end differently? I'd love to turn the tables on that . But as you said does the texting scenario matter all that much?
I don't overdo it just touch base but I'm used to women who seem to text endlessly until I call it quits. What gives and what are your thoughts on this?
Im a little concerned to completely ignore her for a period as I tried this with a girl for a couple days and it ended badly .
I'm also disappointed that I did not fuck her before new years which is a party night.

Once we are properly alone she'll be on my playing field and I'll go for gold. The man who acts will always be respected even if she says no, the man who does nothing is dead in the water.

Do things sound positive here ?