FR Getting girls at a mine site

[Addicted2height]

Hi there

My job is to help build the transmission powerlines an i get sent pretty much all over the place.
Currently im living in a mineing camp in WA. This is a temporary home to around 1000 people and as you can probably imagine there is not alot of girls at this camp.
Most of the 20ish acceptable girls have boyfriends that are bigger than me, and the remandier gernaly have a large following of other guys so I have a fair bit of approach anxiety as im not too good with large groups that are clearly all hitting on the same girl.

Friday night as im walking back to my room with some beer i see Curtis (40ish large and bald) and Mick (61 and bald) talking to a girl.
There has been a bit of talk concerning her with the guys wondering if shes hot or not, so i go over and introduce my self. She was nothing too special but good by camp standards
The following conversation was alot of fun, lots of teasing back and forth about my nationality, sex toys and penises were mentioned as was Curtis's apparent relationship with her... Some memorable comments concerning me were "I like him, he's funny, can we keep him" I know i should come across as sexy rather than funny but alot of the time i was talking with the other two like i normally do.

Saturday night comes along, we get every second Sunday is our day off so the basic plan is to get drunk as there is no breath teasting the next morning.
While standing in line i catch a glimpse of her and wave out, she waves back and we try a bit of shouting where she asks me to come and talk to her. Once i grab my beers I head over and have a quick conversation with her, I'm standing the whole time, leaning over using the table as support. We talk about what we're drinking, how much beer we have stashed away (can only buy one six pack per night to take away) and where all my work mates are.
She ends the conversation with "I'll come find you and talk to you latter" and which point im like sweet catch you later. Then walk off and get on with drinking more than i should.
Once when getting more beer, I walk past and give her a quick prod in the ribs that makes her scream a little, she catches my eye when I'm in line and flips the bird with a smile on her face, so i pull one back while turning my back to her. Once I've got my drinks i head back past her (she's flirting with some other guy) and tap her on the wrong sholder, which gets a "fuck you" and a smile
End of the night comes (9.30ish) and she walks past, I throw my leg out pretending to trip her, we have a small conversation about how she's heading back to her room for another couple of beers. I then slowly finish my drink and head back via her place, where she is not. Tried knocking on her door but I either had the wrong room of she wasn't answering, so i got hung out with more dudes and got more drunk...

Heading back from dinner tonight (Sunday) and i see her walking towards the mess hall
Ashley: I'm starting to see you everywhere
Me: That's probably because your so attracted to me
Laughs
Ashley: haha that's got to be it.
Then had a conversation about how drunk she was last night, what time we started drinking (10am for her 1pm for me) what she did that day (watched ufc in another guys (friends?) room. I did have to ask weather or not Curtis was full of shit about sleeping with her, (he had been bragging about it all day) It wasn't in direct question form like that. She seamed quite discussed by the thought of that, probably not a good thing to ask, but did have to make sure that he was full of shit and that his advice of "shave your head and wear dark glasses" was useless.
During this time I suggested that she give me her number so she could invite me round for a drink at some stage
Ashley: Just come round to Curtis's place and you'll probably find me there
Me: I was around there most of this afternoon drinking at Roys place and didn't see you there.
More about how she was watching UFC
Talked for a little bit more, and then
Ashley: here come a girl i can set you up with, Natiley, I think I told you about her
Me: The one with the fake boobs that you spent 15min playing with? (she told the story on Friday)
Ashley: that's the one, she's a really cool chick!
Me: (towards Natiley) Shes saying nice things about you
Natiley: Haha really?
More conversation about our days, Natiley got bored and was doing some washing. We then got on the subject on lacey thongs
Me: You wear those things around camp?
Natiley: yea
Ashley: there just so comfy, feels like your not wearing anything
Me: I wouldn't know
laughs
Ashley: really? I'll buy you one for your birthday
Me: Haha sweet!
Ashley: Secret santa. (elbows Natiley) we'll be your secret Santa
Me: haha you just want to see me in a lacy thong
laughs
Ashley: yea that's what gets my juices flowing
Laughs
Little bit more conversation then we went our separate ways with Ashley inviting me round to Curtis's place later, and i came back here to write this.

Being new here I'm not sure if its too long, too detailed, not detailed enough, in the wrong board ect so let me know.
Spelling, grammar isn't a strong point so if anything really annoys you I'll try to work on it for next time

Also, should I be trying to get with Ashley, or get her to set me up with Natiley (who is taller, blonder, and hotter)
Let me know your thoughts

Addicted

 

[Franco]

EDIT: This post has been moved from the "Beginners" board to the "Field Reports" board.

Addicted2height, what you have posted here is essentially a field report. This is where you can get feedback on your successes and failures out in the field. Please read the "Field Report" forum rules posted here.

- Franco

 

[AFCnoob]

You've given a detailed FR, so please excuse my detailed response. I'm not that experienced myself (you can read my some of my dumber FR's on the FR board), and am just going on my own (very limited) experiences, so you can choose what to pay attention to, and what not to.Also, forgive me if this is a bit too technical/focused on small details.

It seems like you were pretty intent at getting to know this girl and starting something with her, even though you are up against some tough odds. I think it's great you're out there plugging away, but a the same time, it seems like:

"I like him, he's funny, can we keep him" I know i should come across as sexy rather than funny but...

I personally would qualify this statement as "patronizing", where a girl is not taking you seriously, for whatever reason. I'm getting better at brushing past any other kind of response (cold, standoffish, overly "neutral"), but I'm always most wary of a girl who is openly dismissive or patronizing. (Have a Girl Take You Seriously)

...i catch a glimpse of her and wave out, she waves back and we try a bit of shouting where she asks me to come and talk to her

Seems like she should be coming to you, but hey---take what you can get.

Once i grab my beers I head over and have a quick conversation with her, I'm standing the whole time, leaning over using the table as support.

It sounds like while you leaned over the table to talk to her, she was the one "locked in", the one most relaxed in the exchange, and the one ostensibly being "pursued". I'm always cautious not to do this, and make sure that I'm the one "locked in", not the girl. (Locking In)

We talk about what we're drinking, how much beer we have stashed away...

It sounds like you two were in a pretty private exchange, but this sounds like platonic, friendly chat, rather than opening her up with friendly banter and then trying to "deep dive" and build rapport, or find out more about her personality and core ambitions so she will feel comfortable enough to escalate physically with you later. (Mastering Playful Banter with Women, The Art of the Deep Dive)

She ends the conversation with "I'll come find you and talk to you latter" and which point im like sweet catch you later.

Again, you might not have been advancing things quickly enough (using framing--subtly describing her with the traits/behavior you want her to show, and establishing her as wanting you), and she seems to have gotten a little bored of the exchange, which may be why she broke circle with you (chose to go elsewhere/do something else). Then, you didn't protest, or try to keep her around either--

and [sic] which point im like sweet catch you later

--but instead gave the impression that you would be around whenever she decided to talk to you again, which may have come off as very passive, even supplicating, and not very powerful.

... I walk past and give her a quick prod in the ribs that makes her scream a little...and tap her on the wrong sholder, ...I throw my leg out pretending to trip her...

While these may seem like flirty attempts, they strike me as too indirect; it seems like you are trying to send subtle hints that you want her attention, rather than going and getting it, and trying to keep it until she makes clear she either wants to go further with you, or isn't interested.

we have a small conversation about how she's heading back to her room for another couple of beers

I would like to know how that conversation went specifically, but it seems it didn't involve you going with her (although, at this point suggesting it would still be quite passive, and cement you even more as the pursuer, which would be bad). Ideally, you would want to be moving her back to your place (or...her's) at this point. (Move Faster, Move Girls)

Then, the next day:

Ashley: I'm starting to see you everywhere
Me: That's probably because your so attracted to me

This is actually a pretty good shot at chase framing (implying that she is the one chasing you). It seems like it may be a bit too little too late though.

Ashley: here come a girl i can set you up with, Natiley, I think I told you about her

This is another "sign" I'm very wary about: if a girl claims she can "set me up" with another girl or friend, it usually seems that she's also trying to send me a subtle hint--"because I'm not that interested myself."

Then, afterward, there's this exchange:

Ashley: there just so comfy, feels like your not wearing anything
Me: I wouldn't know
laughs
Ashley: really? I'll buy you one for your birthday

I wasn't there, but that seems like a bit of a patronizing/emasculating frame she's putting on you (you would wear women's underwear), but then you...

Me: Haha sweet!

...accept that frame.

Ashley: yea that's what gets my juices flowing
Laughs

Which she follows with more joking/patronizing statements. Gotta control them frames: (Solid Frame Control)

Now: it seems like you have a lot stacked against you:
1) You're in a small, closed community with a limited pool of women to interact with, and limited time to do it in
2) The women seem to be aware that they're "in demand" and may have an inflated opinion of themselves, or be "extra selective" as a result, which makes things even tougher
3) You were not really blown away by [Ashley] (she was just "OK by camp standards") so, you may not have been bringing your "A game".

Nonetheless, you gave it what you had and you kept at it, which is still something. You might check out the links I listed throughout this response, and of course you'll want to check one last one: Take Counsel Cautiously, again I'm a novice here myself, and these are just my thoughts.

 

[Addicted2height]

Thanks for the advice.
Yes not my best work, I was focusing more on drinking than seducing...
Looking like I've been rejected already so will hit her up about her friend next time we meet up

 

[AFCnoob]

Hey, you were out there doing it, which is more than I can say for myself. I'm not even going to post my most recent FR, since I was more winging for my buddy than anything. Again, people sitting on the sidelines don't really have any right to discuss the performance of others .

On another note, if you do go for the friend, I suggest approaching her directly, and of your own accord.

 

[Addicted2height]

FR Ashley again

So sitting outside my room posting this due to an excessive amount of bugs that flew into my room which I'm now trying to get out...

I was sitting at the bar tonight talking shit with the guys, notice that there is Olivia, our environmental lady sitting at the far end of the table, deeply involved in conversation with another guy. And at the table beside us there is Ashley, see previous report where i failed...

These two girls i notice when i sit down, after i finish half my beer another guy has sat down next to Ashley, so i continue drinking.
Another two beers down the guys I'm with decide that they have had enough and are talking about going for dinner. About this stage Ashley notices me and waves, I've been trying to play it cool and haven't tried to get her attention because obviously she's not that into me.

I wave back, excuse myself from the guys and head over to take a seat next to her (I've been thinking of doing this since the guy left about half a beer ago)
Because i'm still new at this and haven't done a whole heap of approaches I've got some mad butterflys going on as I'm walking the 4 meters over.

Take this seat next to her
Me: Hey how's it going
Ashley: Starts giving me some grief over my accent and introduces me to her work mates
We start talking about general stuff, what we did over new years ect. Get on the subject of what we want to do, trying to deep dive with her, some how that ends up on the subject of llamas and how there different from alpacas...
Her: I'll google it and let you know
Me: You haven't even got my number how are you going to tell me
Her: Pulls out her phone. And does a google search on it.
Dam smart phones!

Talk some more, find out its her last night at this camp, when she heads off i end up talking to her work mates. One of the males starts telling a story to which Ashley and her friend go off into their own private conversation. About that point Olivia comes over. I haven't had a whole lot to do with her, got drunk and hit on her without any success at the work x-mas party, much to the amusement of the guys i work with... But i also caught a ride home with her, tried out my deep diving skills and learnt a bit about her
Olivia: Sitts opposite me "so whats happening"
Me: shh old mate is telling a story (he had previously given the girls a bit of grief for not listing, so it was going with the flow)
Olivia: quites down

After the story the guys mate comes back and Olivia gets up because she has accidentally stolen his seat.
Me: Come take a seat next to me.
She does and we talk about basic work gossip, then she notices the guy she was talking to before is sitting alone so runs back over

I turn around and continue talking to Ashley. The subject of porn comes up somehow and the phone is brought out for a google search of "Heather Brook" (her favourite actress) and she comment on the fact we're going from llamas to deep throat
Me: Thats why I like you so much, we think kinda alike

Eventually she claim that she's sick of the pub and doesn't want to drink any more in fear she will blow numbers the next morning.
So I invite her back to my place for a water seeing as it is not far from hers.
We head back, I grab some water out of the fridge and we sit outside talking.
The subject of dreams comes up. We talk about hers, talk about mine, then she says
Ashley: You got to figure out what you want to do and do it
Me: Well i want to kiss you
Her: I'm kinda taken
Me: Kinda? So its not 100% (leans in)
Her: Yea it is, but don't get me wrong your supper cute and i would like to kiss you but I just can't

At that point I just let it go and regret not reading about how to get girls with boyfriends.

We hang out for a bit longer, i show her some photos, watch a bit of porn, talk more shit
Then i comes time for bed, as she's leaving I give her a hug and kiss on the check
Me: This is probably the last time ill see you
Ashley: Maybe not, I'm sure we'll run into each other again


I can't help but feeling that this night should of ended differently....
Next time