Girl escalated with me quickly and wants to meet again. How fast should I move, and what are the red flags here?

[Spyce D]

I personally wouldn’t read into it so much. A girl could be really into you today and then vanish tomorrow for apparently no reason

Not trying to scare you or anything but until you put your dick inside her all you had was a pleasant encounter with a beautiful girl and no guarantees of a future

I Have learnt this the hard way .

So , the lesson I learnt is to move fast

 

[KJ Francis]

Hey @anon123 any updates?

I replied quick before, basically with the thought that regardless of what you are pondering, if the girl has given escalation windows or moved things forward herself, slowly down will likely lose her.

So I was thinking about your actual red flag question like "is there something wrong with this girl" lol

And I think basically of course girls have different levels of dominant behavior themselves... Meaning they need someone above their level of dominance. If you fuck a super submissive girl vs. a less submissive one and have a baby with both, which kid would be more dominant? Remember she wants her next generation to be more likely to pass on her seed. Is that more likely from the guy who submits to her resistance (natural barrier present in any animal mating), or the one who persists and fucks her?

So perhaps her personality likes to be in charge during the day, but maybe listen a little less to her words and more to the actions, then dominate her hard.

I met this older woman online. Once she knew my age (and therefore slotted me right in the lover category... so admittedly different than your situation), she called me and said she is looking for sex and asked if she could have me twice a week - before we had ever met!

So here I was this rare opportunity she does not often encounter... And she CHASED for it. This doesn't mean she wants to keep leading over time. So I went to her house and fucked her.

So this is basically the premise of Girls Chase... It is literally in the name. Flip the script so she is the one pursuing you.

 

[anon123]

@Francis Thanks for sharing all this man, and thanks for asking for an update. Been meaning to post one. First let me respond to your most recent post.

That completely makes sense what you say about levels of dominance, and it totally lines up with the experience this girl and I are having. Also that is really interesting about the older lady you met.

Onto the update, again a big thanks to you and to all who posted. It was really helpful. In brief, it's gone incredibly well - almost too well. She was blown the fuck away that I was ballsy enough to go after her so quickly. After two days of hanging together in her town, I went back home, she was basically dying for more and came out to visit me a day and half later for almost three full days where we spent the majority of our time together. We covered a lot of ground in terms of getting to know each other more deeply (not to mention fucked like nonstop). It's been intense to say the least. This girl is extremely independent and strong-willed as fuck, but absolutely loves how much I am just taking charge of the situation with her, and with other situations (whether sexually with her or in general when we are just out doing whatever in public). She told me this is one of the first times in her life she feels she has been with a "real man" that takes care of her and desires her the way she wants.

Now my worry is that she has fallen too hard too fast. I told her I am really into what is happening between us and want it to continue, but we should just give ourselves a bit of distance (I said a week or so) as that will help us sit back, think about how great things are going, enjoy it all more, look forward to seeing each other and whatnot. She is on board with that, but she has been writing a lot. Nothing that I perceive as "too much" yet, but she is clearly wanting more from me and extremely excited about what has been happening so far. I almost think it's good we are not living in the same city, but it's nice that it's not too far if things do continue to develop in a positive direction.

I was right about one of the potential red flags, which I no longer necessarily consider to be a red flag, given she and I have communicated directly and openly about it (but it is definitely something to keep in mind). Basically, she initiated a talk where she said she thinks it is good if we continue to see other people due to how new we are, and the fact that we don't live so close together that we can see each other all the time. I completely agree with her and obviously told her so, but it struck me that she would even bring this up after just a few days! It is also interesting that she came out with this when she is telling me so many statements like "I have never felt X like this with anyone before" or "this is the first time I have ever felt so compatible with someone so quickly."

Another thing linked to the above is the fact that it does not sound like she has had any serious relationships in her life. It sounds like she has had good, at least somewhat (if not very) healthy FWB situations, and she has definitely had periods of her life where she was dating very actively - but for some reason this girl has never really had a proper boyfriend I don't think. I suspect she is dismissive avoidant or possibly anxious avoidant(/disorganized), though when talking to her she seems really secure, confident, and well-rounded psychologically (caveat, it's obviously too early for me to make judgments or be thinking about things like this, but I suspect I may be onto something here...).

Anyway I do not want to think about how things could turn sour too much at such an early stage. I think for now we just need to keep things lighthearted, live our separate lives, and meet up maybe every week or second week to enjoy time together and see how things develop.

But yeah man, I guess the TL;DR version is that she is a really cool girl and things are going well so far overall! Thanks again for the advice, and if you might have any more thoughts or advice I would love to hear it of course

 

[KJ Francis]

Right on man. How old are you two and how many hours of travel is it?

Once a week would be too much in my opinion, even if she lived twenty minutes away.

I don't think it's necessarily a red flag she's having these conversations. Relationships are the domain of women and given how rare you are to her, of course her mind is on it.

Honestly this is outside the realm of my experience, so someone else may have much better insight. It sounds great though. I would just keep it in your head she may still be really looking forward to fucking other guys. So keep fucking other girls, and keep focused on something else important to you. Don't become the one-down in the casual relationship where she'd less attached than you think.

 

[KJ Francis]

LR - free social frame, traffic light game with time constraint

Went out to this famous club, I was pissed coming out from a club where a bunch of dudes running around, 3 shoved me I almost got into a fight and there was this dude that kept wanting to talk to me closely and fucking annoying. Light argument with my wing, coming out wasn't hyped. Long story...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[anon123]

@Francis I am 36. She’s 27. We’re about 2 1/2 hour drive apart.

Yeah for me it is actually really cool that she is bringing up those types of things (and we talked about a lot of other stuff regarding relationships that we both gel on, things neither of us has talked to many other people about and are on the same page with). For me bringing up dating other people was maybe a bit early, just as I think it’s a given at this stage! But better too early than too late I guess.

Yeah she pretty much flat out told me that she needs sex and will get it, but she also couldn’t stress enough (and enough times) how what she is feeling for me and the connection we have is on a totally different level than others.

Yeah once a week maybe is too much now that I think about it. Anyway I am relaxed about it. Not rushing into anything but will be fun to see her again at some stage and see how we are vibing then.

Could I just ask what you mean by “one-down” in a casual relationship?

Thanks again man!

 

[KJ Francis]

Yeah the thing with weekly is it becomes a routine. I wouldn't verbalize slowing things down with her so it doesn't burst your bubble. Naturally being a little busier and meeting every week and a half would be my recommendation (after sleeping with her more rapidly on a few occasions to solidify her as a partner).

Regarding the one-down concept and passion trap:

Relationship Control and Female Domination

Have you ever noticed that in almost every relationship… sooner or later, but often right from the start or at least very early… one of the two partners is more emotionally involved than the other? And that it's invariably the other of the two who retains the most relationship control? That one...

www.girlschase.com

Edit: given the distance, maybe two weekends a month at most, with her coming to you a little more often than the other way around.

 

[anon123]

Got it thanks for this. We've had sex like... God I don't know at least 20 times already. Don't see that slowing down whenever we're together anytime soon. But yeah I'll try to make it organic to just meet every week and a half or so.

The hard thing will be resisting constantly (and quickly) replying to her texts. Just gotta sit on my hands. Or actually just be too busy with work to respond so much, which will naturally happen.

Thanks for that link will check it out!

 

[Derek da man]

Just gotta sit on my hands. Or actually just be too busy with work to respond so much, which will naturally happen

It's OK to respond quickly sometimes, have a good conversation or even a phone call when it fits both your schedule. But sometimes a delay can build anticipation, it also shows you have other interests and are not solely focused on you.

It's very true what others say that you need to keep her chasing to keep her interest. It's all about calibration and balance.

 

[anon123]

It's texts every couple hours max since the last time we saw each other, and 20-30 minute video call once per day. Maybe I am overthinking it, but is it not best to match how keen she is by being responsive?

In this time until we meet again, how to best keep her chasing? She's nonstop flirtatious and sending really sweet/emotional texts, it feels like just disappearing for a day or two would be weird given how excited she is at the moment (which is what I would do for a girl in the same city I'd be meeting once a week say).

 

[Red]

I don't know where you live but in major cities many young woman will make it very clear if they want to fuck you without hesitation, some will say it directly, some will pull you into the bathroom with them and unzip you, some will give the most obvious IOIs until you get the hint, some will ask you to walk them home then invite you in at 2am, etc.

Many? Seems a stretch, no?

Every once in a while, I get a woman who will directly tell me they live blocks away and lets go or so, but I'm still shocked when that happens, and I stopped telling male friends about these things because is NEVER happens to them and they get weird.

 

[Bo Diddley]

It's texts every couple hours max since the last time we saw each other, and 20-30 minute video call once per day. Maybe I am overthinking it, but is it not best to match how keen she is by being responsive?

In this time until we meet again, how to best keep her chasing? She's nonstop flirtatious and sending really sweet/emotional texts, it feels like just disappearing for a day or two would be weird given how excited she is at the moment (which is what I would do for a girl in the same city I'd be meeting once a week say).

Read up on Love Bombing OP. That's the red flag here. It sounds like she's in love with love, and at best if she falls in love with you, the feeling of "being in love" will always come first.

 

[DonGately]

Many? Seems a stretch, no?

Every once in a while, I get a woman who will directly tell me they live blocks away and lets go or so, but I'm still shocked when that happens, and I stopped telling male friends about these things because is NEVER happens to them and they get weird.

In a big city? Many. Definitely 'many.' It's been many for me for a couple decades now. I'm assuming you a) go out regularly and b) can identify IOIs that should be 'obvious'. [or c) have a really hot guy friend so all the girls come to you guys.] And you're right, it doesn't happen to normie males at all.

Was on a first meet with a girl in the nicest part of the city, she actually brought a cute friend which was fine, bounce to venue 2 which I have on lock, she's like 'where's the bathroom,' I show here it's one of those large 1-stall rooms, she pulls me in - I think to make out - we do kiss, and she sits on the throne and starts to pee. Pants on the floor.

I mean if that's not an obvious sign that she's both a very submissive girl who wants me to see her as such, but also willing to do anything to get my attention, then no girl is.

Another girl with a big rack after one drink said, 'The more fun I have the bigger my tits get.'
Now, does one think she wanted another drink at the bar and more convo, or did she want me to take her to a hotel room and bang her in every hole? I know what my decision was.

It goes without saying the trad IOIs of lip licking, hair tossing, exposing wrists/neck, and shoe dangling/removing are much more common.

And, naturally, many girls will tell you with the touch of their bodies that they want to bang you that evening, they just don't use their words. But any intermediate-level pua will know exactly what they are trying to say. Even a beginner can clock a girl who, when walking up/down the stairs in a bar/restaurant is holding your hand and pulling it into her tits/cunt.

Edit: To be clear, without hesitation != instantly tell you they want to bang.
It means as soon as they've made that decision, perhaps that was where you misunderstood my post.

 

[Skills]

It's texts every couple hours max since the last time we saw each other, and 20-30 minute video call once per day. Maybe I am overthinking it, but is it not best to match how keen she is by being responsive?

In this time until we meet again, how to best keep her chasing? She's nonstop flirtatious and sending really sweet/emotional texts, it feels like just disappearing for a day or two would be weird given how excited she is at the moment (which is what I would do for a girl in the same city I'd be meeting once a week say).

no need to be so calculated, she is in, the focus should be now on relationship management. She is already locked in...

 

[Red]

In a big city? Many. Definitely 'many.' It's been many for me for a couple decades now. I'm assuming you a) go out regularly and b) can identify IOIs that should be 'obvious'. [or c) have a really hot guy friend so all the girls come to you guys.] And you're right, it doesn't happen to normie males at all.

Was on a first meet with a girl in the nicest part of the city, she actually brought a cute friend which was fine, bounce to venue 2 which I have on lock, she's like 'where's the bathroom,' I show here it's one of those large 1-stall rooms, she pulls me in - I think to make out - we do kiss, and she sits on the throne and starts to pee. Pants on the floor.

I mean if that's not an obvious sign that she's both a very submissive girl who wants me to see her as such, but also willing to do anything to get my attention, then no girl is.

Another girl with a big rack after one drink said, 'The more fun I have the bigger my tits get.'
Now, does one think she wanted another drink at the bar and more convo, or did she want me to take her to a hotel room and bang her in every hole? I know what my decision was.

It goes without saying the trad IOIs of lip licking, hair tossing, exposing wrists/neck, and shoe dangling/removing are much more common.

And, naturally, many girls will tell you with the touch of their bodies that they want to bang you that evening, they just don't use their words. But any intermediate-level pua will know exactly what they are trying to say. Even a beginner can clock a girl who, when walking up/down the stairs in a bar/restaurant is holding your hand and pulling it into her tits/cunt.

Edit: To be clear, without hesitation != instantly tell you they want to bang.
It means as soon as they've made that decision, perhaps that was where you misunderstood my post.

I see. I thought you were referring to those moments when you haven't lifted a finger and the girl just scoops you up and takes you home. Just, "You. Me. Now."

My favorite words to hear a woman say when I'm out are, "It's my birthday!" That's when I know it's in the bag that night, no effort required.

 

[DonGately]

I see. I thought you were referring to those moments when you haven't lifted a finger and the girl just scoops you up and takes you home. Just, "You. Me. Now."

My favorite words to hear a woman say when I'm out are, "It's my birthday!" That's when I know it's in the bag that night, no effort required.

Understood, I figured that was it.

But they will also sit down at your coffee table and give you the doe eyes, 'come fuck me' signal in their crotch-hugging yoga wear and stiletto boots [at least in cold weather] at 2 in the afternoon to see if you're game. As you say, not as many though.

 

[anon123]

no need to be so calculated, she is in, the focus should be now on relationship management. She is already locked in...

@Skills Thanks so much. It certainly feels that way... Time to do some reading on relationship management. A long time since I looked at that side of things.

I wonder if you would agree with Bo Diddley's post that she has been Love Bombing me? I can see where he is coming from in some sense, but for me love bombing tends to be way more over the top (and less seemingly authentic) than what she is doing.