syst3k,
There is a cute girl in my class (University: she's 20 years old, I'm 26). Now I'm having exam session (she's too) but in the semester I've seen her sometimes. I've never had an intention to actually talk to her. A few days ago I was scrolling down in the facebook when I saw her in the "people you may know" section so I added her without any hesitation that she accepted (she by the way surely seen me too or know "who" I am).
Generally speaking, I think this accomplishes less than you may have intended it to, and in the end might even hurt you. She doesn't know that you've seen her in "people you may know" (did you guys have any mutual friends?), so it can come across as you were facebook stalking her. If you do choose to add her, (and you did) I recommend messaging her almost immediately after she accepts the request (not
too soon though lol) - starting conversation, and making it less ambiguous why you added her.
Then again it looks like this window has already passed.
Well I was thinking "next time I see her in an exam, why not give it a shot" but we actually won't have a common exam (I didn't see her in the lists) which means I won't be able to approach her IRL that's why I've been thinking what to write her... so what would you write to a chick in a situtation like this or how would you do the whole thing?
In my opinion, the best move is to wait for a time that you two "naturally run into each other" and then you stop her and say she looks familiar. Sometimes exams are a good time for this - people seem to be more open to conversation pre/post exams for some reason. Then start talking to her and see how the waters are. Once you're actually in the conversation with her you
could even make a joke about how she was in your suggested friends, but I would probably only do that if her body language and vibe told you that she seemed skeptical/creeped out because she recognizes you from online.
If this sounds weird that's because it kind of is - it's a little socially uncalibrated to add a stranger on SM that you've been observing from afar in real life. This is why I mentioned above it doesn't actually help you for your "first move" to be on SM.
I saw in a post on here at some point that the order of most impressive / bold move to make on a girl (and / or getting some form of compliance) is as follows,
1). Real LIfe
2). Calls on the Phone
3). Texting
4). Social Media
Making the first move on SM is both pussy-footing (not very bold because people are behind a screen), and somewhat creepy (hence the phrase facebook-stalking), whereas making the first move in real life is bold and allows you to communicate an abundance of information through verbals and nonverbals.
So yea, I would make it seem like you two bumped into eachother and just be like "what a sec.. I know you from somewhere" and start talking to her. Then if things seem comfortable just proceed as normal and don't even bring up the facebook thing. If she seems uncomfortable/sketched out, maybe make a joke about the suggested friends things - but if this is the case, you've probably already lost your chance for the time being anyways. Social circle is also forgiving and by the end of the semester she could change her mind about you. That's just me. And personally, I'd wait a few weeks since the SM window is already gone (but I might be more calculated than some others lol).
EDIT:
Alternative Option.. FB message her, "hey you're in Optometry 102 right? Saw you on suggested friends and thought getting a study partner might be handy!" then set up a "study date", get to know her, and proceed accordingly. I've done this on my campus' online interface and managed a date and a hookup last year.
I hope this helps, and best of luck!
Hue
