Girls Hitting You - It's a Sign of LOTS of Interest

[Chase]

A commenter on the How to Start a Relationship with a New Girlfriend post asked about a girl punching him in the arm playfully a couple of times.

Whenever you see:

• Girls hitting you playfully
• Girls punching you playfully
• Girls kicking you playfully
• Girls swatting you playfully

... it's universally a sign of extreme "openness" to you. Even if it's a girl you consider as having friend-zoned you, it's still a sign that she's at least open to the idea of sexy with you, and very comfortable with you.

Why? Because breaking the touch barrier is something women will only do with men they like a lot and feel very comfortable around and, usually, very attracted to.

When you see this, take it as a sign to start moving things ahead aggressively. Don't jump on it immediately - she'll view that as in reaction to her hitting you, and you'll look weak (it'll look like you were too timid to do this on your own and were waiting from some sort of sign from her). Instead, make a mental note on it, and 5 minutes later start escalating things and moving them forward more quickly.

Chase

 

[goldenglory]

In all seriousness, the last girl who 'play punched' me was a lesbian. Damn...I must be better at this than I thought.

In normal circumstances though, I definitely agree this is a good sign.

Just out of curiosity Chase (and sorry to get sidetracked here), do you think it is possible to seduce self-proclaimed lesbians? Definitely one for the bucketlist that one...

 

[Chase]

Just out of curiosity Chase (and sorry to get sidetracked here), do you think it is possible to seduce self-proclaimed lesbians? Definitely one for the bucketlist that one...

As a matter of fact I do, GG -

Re: Lesbians?

Chase

 

[goldenglory]

Just out of curiosity Chase (and sorry to get sidetracked here), do you think it is possible to seduce self-proclaimed lesbians? Definitely one for the bucketlist that one...

As a matter of fact I do, GG -

Re: Lesbians?

Chase

Ha, nice. I had a feeling you'd deliver!

 

[Flames]

Here's my experience of lesbians, lol

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=478

Anyway so is this just a touch barrier thing I wonder? Possibly because of the heightened emotion of 'play fighting' which in the animal kingdom is foreplay, and it requires also a bit of push/pull and a lot of EC.

How about just 'teasing' in general I've had a few girls who'll do that but not in a bantering kind of way, but almost as if they're really nervous of doing it.

 

[Chase]

Flames-

Anyway so is this just a touch barrier thing I wonder? Possibly because of the heightened emotion of 'play fighting' which in the animal kingdom is foreplay, and it requires also a bit of push/pull and a lot of EC.

Yes, they're breaking the tension gap, which women only do when they're very receptive. If you want to refer to the animal kingdom, imagine a female mammal nudging a male. She's not going to do that with any non-related male she isn't sexually receptive with. It's a sign of affection, comfort, openness, and quite often a degree (sometimes a HIGH degree) of desire.

How about just 'teasing' in general I've had a few girls who'll do that but not in a bantering kind of way, but almost as if they're really nervous of doing it.

Teasing's good. Nervous teasing is very good. That means she's flirting, but she's very concerned with how you'll react. Women don't care how guys they just like as friends react to teasing, because they're not invested in the outcome. When she's outcome dependent like that, it's a signal she's very interested in you.

Chase

 

[Flames]

Thanks Chase.

I've got quite a strong belief that pretty much any emotion is better than no emotion, and although most girls are quite good at hiding true intentions with time I'm getting better at noticing the little slip ups they make.

I'm sure you get that sometimes when your scratching your head, then they'll do something and you think "hah! Got you!".

Back to the subject though I've always thought that teasing & play fighting were a sign of sexual tension, which you've mentioned about in one of your blog posts.

Sexual tension is one of the best thins you can use IMO.

 

[foxman2]

Great Post Chase,

I have had a couple memorable experiences with girls touching me.

1. A girl a few years ago punched me in the arm while we were studying together. She was probably very into me, because she made quite a bit of physical contact, and I never really reciprocated. Only later did I realize I was into her, and by that time I was in the friend zone.

2. Not long ago, a girl I thought had friend zoned me... but I made some physical contact via extending my hand and briefly touching her arm when asking her questions. She reciprocated by rubbing my arm later that night when we were sitting next to each other at the social gathering for several minutes.

Should I treat this type of "massage" as a sign of greater interest? Or is all physical contact created equal?

 

[Thinkingenigma]

Flames-

Anyway so is this just a touch barrier thing I wonder? Possibly because of the heightened emotion of 'play fighting' which in the animal kingdom is foreplay, and it requires also a bit of push/pull and a lot of EC.

Yes, they're breaking the tension gap, which women only do when they're very receptive. If you want to refer to the animal kingdom, imagine a female mammal nudging a male. She's not going to do that with any non-related male she isn't sexually receptive with. It's a sign of affection, comfort, openness, and quite often a degree (sometimes a HIGH degree) of desire.

How about just 'teasing' in general I've had a few girls who'll do that but not in a bantering kind of way, but almost as if they're really nervous of doing it.

Teasing's good. Nervous teasing is very good. That means she's flirting, but she's very concerned with how you'll react. Women don't care how guys they just like as friends react to teasing, because they're not invested in the outcome. When she's outcome dependent like that, it's a signal she's very interested in you.

Chase

Does this still apply after she's verbally friendzoned you? For instance, there's a girl at school who I got intimate with the first time we did anything alone. Unfortunately, I was less experienced at the time, and due to outside factors, I wasn't able to go all the way. Afterwards, we had a conversation where she basically said that we shouldn't do that again (which I was fine with. At the time, I wasn't interested in a casual relationship with anyone, and I wasn't really interested in her as a girlfriend). However, whenever we see each other, she is still very physical and flirty with me, and I'm wondering if this is one of those "actions speak louder than words" situations.

 

[Flames]

Actions always speak louder than words, In both men and women.

From a women's point of view sometimes they say things they don't really mean as a test. Sometimes it's a way of saving face (see the Chases mixed messages post). Sometimes it's jut because they ar so weighed down by what's expected of them or social pressure that they say things when they really want to say something else.

 

[Light]

It really depends how close you two really are.
Girls who are really fond of you because they've known you for so long will treat you like a brother.
They will also hit you and touch you a lot, being playful.

I have a handful of girls who loves hitting me and getting touchy with me, but I know for a fact there is nothing sexual involved.
They're just comfortable being with me, like a brother.

 

[Chase]

TE-

Does this still apply after she's verbally friendzoned you? For instance, there's a girl at school who I got intimate with the first time we did anything alone. Unfortunately, I was less experienced at the time, and due to outside factors, I wasn't able to go all the way. Afterwards, we had a conversation where she basically said that we shouldn't do that again (which I was fine with. At the time, I wasn't interested in a casual relationship with anyone, and I wasn't really interested in her as a girlfriend). However, whenever we see each other, she is still very physical and flirty with me, and I'm wondering if this is one of those "actions speak louder than words" situations.

Not being a guy who keeps women around who've legitimately friend-zoned him (and never having been...), I can't answer with any certainty here. I'd be inclined to point you to Light's response, except that it sounds like this girl might not be 100% friend-zoning you. She got close to sex, said, "Yeah, let's NOT do that again," but has stuck around you and is being very physical and flirty... sounds to me like she'd be down to try again, if the stars were right.

Probably a little drinking (so she can blame it on the alcohol) and the two of you "happening" to end up alone is sufficient for a girl you've already been this close to sleeping with who's continuing to flirt this hard. Bear in mind that girls will often say, "Yeah, let's NOT do that again," while really meaning, "Yeah, you totally should've closed the deal, but if you want to take another shot at it, just don't make me feel like a slut."

Chase

 

[Thinkingenigma]

TE-

Does this still apply after she's verbally friendzoned you? For instance, there's a girl at school who I got intimate with the first time we did anything alone. Unfortunately, I was less experienced at the time, and due to outside factors, I wasn't able to go all the way. Afterwards, we had a conversation where she basically said that we shouldn't do that again (which I was fine with. At the time, I wasn't interested in a casual relationship with anyone, and I wasn't really interested in her as a girlfriend). However, whenever we see each other, she is still very physical and flirty with me, and I'm wondering if this is one of those "actions speak louder than words" situations.

Not being a guy who keeps women around who've legitimately friend-zoned him (and never having been...), I can't answer with any certainty here. I'd be inclined to point you to Light's response, except that it sounds like this girl might not be 100% friend-zoning you. She got close to sex, said, "Yeah, let's NOT do that again," but has stuck around you and is being very physical and flirty... sounds to me like she'd be down to try again, if the stars were right.

Probably a little drinking (so she can blame it on the alcohol) and the two of you "happening" to end up alone is sufficient for a girl you've already been this close to sleeping with who's continuing to flirt this hard. Bear in mind that girls will often say, "Yeah, let's NOT do that again," while really meaning, "Yeah, you totally should've closed the deal, but if you want to take another shot at it, just don't make me feel like a slut."

Chase

Thanks for the advice. It might be worth mentioning that I didn't keep her around. She made that happen. I moved on to other girls, but she was the one who insisted on sticking around.

 

[trashKENNUT]

BUMP!

 

[Doctor]

Thanks for the bump, this is good info for the newer members around here, like me!

I had one thing to add.

I am guessing the same thing applies to a girl putting your hands on her body?

For example; I was lightly ribbing a girl about her core strength not being up to certain 'tasks' and she grabs my hands and asks me to feel how strong certain parts of her body are, placing my hands on them.

Pretty strong indicator right?

 

[MickDavies]

I have only experienced this myself with what I would consider to be physically/sexually confident women.

The 2 times that stick in my own mind experiencing this, the girl had already told me that she had a boyfriend who she was invested in keeping around. The first time was my personal trainer, I pretty much knew she was interested but at that point I wasn't prepared to sleep with a girl who had a boyfriend. They broke up a few months later when he moved back to his native country. Unfortunately, after those months of not making a move I was unable to get myself to make something happen. She went quite spectacularly into auto reject, unfriended me & never spoke to me again.

More recently was a sexy older woman I met at a bar. She would have looked quite stunning when she was younger & still had guys orbiting her & buying her drinks. At one point she invited me to her birthday party. It was obviously quite lavish & she asked me not to tell anyone I'd just met her because her bf was paying for the whole thing. She made a self deprecating joke about watching her turn old & decrepit on her birthday which I ignored. A little later she did it again, I looked at my watch, grinned & said '11:30; so that's going to be in half an hour right?' At which point she hit me.

I'm wondering based on the comments above whether women use this as a way to subtly signal a guy out to be an 'outlier' i.e. 'I'm a lesbian, someone's girlfriend, someone who has friend zoned you etc but I'm open to using my hall pass on you'. Kinda like she wants to make damn sure she sends a strong enough signal to override the one given by her earlier words/actions.

 

[Fuck This]

I've noticed this recently with a recently divorced female acquaintance. We know who each other are, but never really communicated. She is a customer of my company as well.

One day at work, she was in laughing and joking with my employees. I joined in from afar and she walked into my office to sidebar. We discussed some things and when I mentioned that i too had recently divorced, her whole demeanor changed and she became much more flirty and suggestive. Two days later she comes in and comes right in my office teasing me and gives me a shoulder punch while I'm sitting at my desk. The change in attitude was palpable.

As far as I knew she was in a relationship but it didn't surprise me that she relished the attention that flirting with me gave her.

Long story short....If she breaks the touch barrier, there is interest there. However her rational mind can overcome it if her objection is strong enough, but the interest is still bubbling up and they can't hide it...

 

[ResentMasculinity]

I have only experienced this myself with what I would consider to be physically/sexually confident women.

The 2 times that stick in my own mind experiencing this, the girl had already told me that she had a boyfriend who she was invested in keeping around. The first time was my personal trainer, I pretty much knew she was interested but at that point I wasn't prepared to sleep with a girl who had a boyfriend. They broke up a few months later when he moved back to his native country. Unfortunately, after those months of not making a move I was unable to get myself to make something happen. She went quite spectacularly into auto reject, unfriended me & never spoke to me again.

More recently was a sexy older woman I met at a bar. She would have looked quite stunning when she was younger & still had guys orbiting her & buying her drinks. At one point she invited me to her birthday party. It was obviously quite lavish & she asked me not to tell anyone I'd just met her because her bf was paying for the whole thing. She made a self deprecating joke about watching her turn old & decrepit on her birthday which I ignored. A little later she did it again, I looked at my watch, grinned & said '11:30; so that's going to be in half an hour right?' At which point she hit me.

I'm wondering based on the comments above whether women use this as a way to subtly signal a guy out to be an 'outlier' i.e. 'I'm a lesbian, someone's girlfriend, someone who has friend zoned you etc but I'm open to using my hall pass on you'. Kinda like she wants to make damn sure she sends a strong enough signal to override the one given by her earlier words/actions.

interesting that she invited you, normally that doesn't happen.

 

[MickDavies]

interesting that she invited you, normally that doesn't happen.

It is. It definitely happened a lot more when I was younger. I got to the point where eye contact & improvising a fun interaction was easy for me but I had no idea how to consolidate a friendship, let alone seduce, so I came off as highly self confident but withdrawn. I also never chased because I just assumed things would happen 'naturally' if at all (& usually not at all, presumably due to me inducing self rejection in the girls who were interested in me). As I opened up & became more sexually aggressive I got asked out a lot less but got more sex.

I was actually really enjoying my interaction with my friend so was not very open to this woman pulling him away that evening. Perhaps that helped create a similar social & self confident yet withdrawn state in me.