Girls repeatedley flaking on me from tinder

[jujux15]

Ok so I am going to put down as detailed as possible the last encounter I had on tinder that went into text, I can be prideful all day but this is starting to eat at my ego. I matched with this girl visiting from seattle

(Her bio said shes looking for someone explore LA with and a workout buddy)
Me: I dont know you'll probably stop talking to me if i train with you
Her:Really? What makes you think that?
Me: I like to lift heavy with high volume, do you lift too?
Her: Yeah I really like lifting
Me: ooo I like that, so what do you do to explore? I hike
Her: I've just been going to downtown and looking up things to do in LA! Are there good hiking places in LA?
Me:Theres a few, my favorite spot is in thousand oaks though, has a waterfall and everything.
Her: Oh really? That sounds like fun!
Me: Yeah! Hey whats your number its easier
Her:Its xxxxxxx
Now here are the text exchanges I'll include time and days cuz I feel like this is where I messed up
Monday 1030AM Me: Hey its Paul never seen that area code are you not from la? (this was before I knew she was from seattle)
1102AM Her: Hey! No I'm not! I'm from Seattle, WA!
1150AM Me: Oh hey I've always wanted to go there, are you visiting la then?
1204PM Her: Yeah I'm doing an internship for the summer here in LA. You should visit Seattle, its pretty cool!
141PM Me: Oh dope that explains why you want to explore we should definitely kick it! Whats your schedule like?
813PM Her: Yes! So my schedule this week is a little full because I need to get a lot of hours in buy my evenings are typically open as well as my weekends! What about you?
827PM Me:Cool! Thursdays work well for me, we can go to a drive in theatre (I live at home, have sex in a car, drive in theatre is an easy way for me to get physical)
857PM Her: ooooo that sounds awesome!!
914PM Me: Have you seen Jurassic world yet?
928PM Her: No i havent! is that one a sequel? Because I havent seen the first lol
940PM Me: Lmao, it is here, which interests you (I sent her a link of the movies, I realized this was a mistake)
1022PM Her:Which one looks good to you?? I'm super indecisive lol
1028PM Me: We can do Jurassic world I've seen the last one but I have shitty memory we'll be lost together. Are you free at like 745?
1044PM Her: On Thursday? Haha good I'm down!
1045PM Me: cool, your ass not gonna wanna go back to seattle
1056PM Her: hahaha I'm not so sure about that but we'll see (winky face)
So here where I think i messed up, I waited until the day of to respond
Thursday
922AM Me:Mhmm today
1133AM Her: Are we seeing the movie today? (I already knew she was gonna flake just from this lmao)
1138AM Me: yeah
1157AM Her: What time?
1158AM Me: 745 still good?
651PM Her: Hey! Sorry today has been super crazy! I had to work way longer then I thought! I dont think ill be able to make it tonight
654PM Me: Its cool some other time then

Ive been taking L's left and right on tinder guys I can get matches like hotcakes but can't seal the deal lately, need advice and bless your soul if you read all this

 

[dcman]

You seemed too eager to go and meet this girl . It may come across as trying to impress her. Next time screen the girls more to see if they have qualities that you are looking for by asking them questions. This will help build a rapport and increase your value as a guy that is willing to spend time only with girls that meet his criteria rather than anyone that gets matched in tinder. Hope this helps

 

[jujux15]

You seemed too eager to go and meet this girl . It may come across as trying to impress her. Next time screen the girls more to see if they have qualities that you are looking for by asking them questions. This will help build a rapport and increase your value as a guy that is willing to spend time only with girls that meet his criteria rather than anyone that gets matched in tinder. Hope this helps

Can you elaborate on that? To me it didn’t seem like I was doing anything but being mutually interested, like how was I too interested?

 

[dcman]

What I meant is before proposing to spend time with a girl that you have never meet before is ask questions to see if she meets the criteria you are looking . For instance if a girl is from out of town one of my criteria is I would make sure she is down to having sex and not looking for someone just to show her around town. I would have asked her questions like do you miss your family or boy friend from Seattle( I am not sure if you knew she was single reading your post) . Based on the response I would have gone deeper to find out what she is looking for and would have started talking about sex to gauge her response. I would have worked to lay the ground work to have sex the time we meet. This would have made a deeper rapport as well let her know I am selective with people I am willing to spend time with. Once the girl feels you are higher value the chances of flaking are more less.If she did not meet my criteria I would not have bothered to make plans to meet her. Let me know if this helps explain what I meant about prescreening girls before making plans to spend time.

The other suggestion I had is regarding your selection of the meeting place. while I understand why you prefer taking her to a drive in theater . But as this is a girl you have never meet before something more simpler like having some drinks or coffee would make it easier for her. It is easy to talk in these places and would make it more casual feel to her and make flaking less. You can change venues later to something that you may feel is more suitable.

in this case I would Send her one more message tell her you are going to be in particular bar or other gym event on a Friday or whatever day is best for you . ask her if she can make it. see her response and take it from there. Good Luck

 

[Fuck This]

It's not always you....

Now, i don't understand how you went from hiking and exploring to a movie? She can see a movie with her girlfriends. But YOU, (A Big Strong Man) can show her the wild untamed Santa Monica Mountains, Home to vicious cougars P1-34

Play to your strengths. Offer something unique, make yourself a challenge. Give her a REASON to find out more about you.

 

[jujux15]

What I meant is before proposing to spend time with a girl that you have never meet before is ask questions to see if she meets the criteria you are looking . For instance if a girl is from out of town one of my criteria is I would make sure she is down to having sex and not looking for someone just to show her around town. I would have asked her questions like do you miss your family or boy friend from Seattle( I am not sure if you knew she was single reading your post) . Based on the response I would have gone deeper to find out what she is looking for and would have started talking about sex to gauge her response. I would have worked to lay the ground work to have sex the time we meet. This would have made a deeper rapport as well let her know I am selective with people I am willing to spend time with. Once the girl feels you are higher value the chances of flaking are more less.If she did not meet my criteria I would not have bothered to make plans to meet her. Let me know if this helps explain what I meant about prescreening girls before making plans to spend time.

The other suggestion I had is regarding your selection of the meeting place. while I understand why you prefer taking her to a drive in theater . But as this is a girl you have never meet before something more simpler like having some drinks or coffee would make it easier for her. It is easy to talk in these places and would make it more casual feel to her and make flaking less. You can change venues later to something that you may feel is more suitable.

in this case I would Send her one more message tell her you are going to be in particular bar or other gym event on a Friday or whatever day is best for you . ask her if she can make it. see her response and take it from there. Good Luck

Ahh I feel you, for all she knows I’m a psycho, it’s worked for me in the past but that girl was way more sexual from the Jump

 

[jujux15]

It's not always you....

Now, i don't understand how you went from hiking and exploring to a movie? She can see a movie with her girlfriends. But YOU, (A Big Strong Man) can show her the wild untamed Santa Monica Mountains, Home to vicious cougars P1-34

Play to your strengths. Offer something unique, make yourself a challenge. Give her a REASON to find out more about you.

Oh I read ages ago that chase likes to talk about traveling or generally things he enjoys/feels strongly about. I enjoy hiking music etc so I tend to talk about that cuz it’s easisest, don’t know if that makes sense. And yeah that last bit I like accidentally get girls to do that but often time I follow the same formula. Mention something on her bio, figure her likes, find some commonality get number. Advice?

 

[theonlinedatingpua]

I've been there bro. Here are some guidelines for getting from tinder texting to a date. I've followed these rules and only ever had one girl ever flake before a scheduled date, and that was cause she suddenly realized she was a foot taller than me lol

www.onlinedatingpua.com/messaging

 

[Jakeroviks]

You showed too much interest too quickly. At the very beginning, you started with a high-effort text about her tinder bio, and followed up with bragging about how you lift weights.

I would start with a MUCH lower effort opener. Don't read her bio, don't be witty and especially don't try to show off. Just say whatever. If she responds then you can put her in a chase frame easily and you won't have to worry about getting flaked on dates.