Girls who rejected you

[loolapaluza]

Hello guys. I wanted to create a big post with a few stories and examples,but English is not my native language,so i keep it short. I hope it will be understandable.

My question is-how should you treat a girls who rejected you?
I live in city with 300k people and from time to time ,ocasionally, i meet girls who rejected me. Baristas,bartender girls,waitresses,girls in gym,girls who know your friends and relatives and so on.
And it seems sometimes this bothers them even more than me. Usually i try play it cool,be polite and indifferent.
But some of them gone really cold on you after you ask them out ( i wonder why?).
Should i just ignore them?
Should i try one more time later?
How should i treat the cold ones?(Especially the cold ones,i think girls dont go cold for a guys they dont care about)

 

[JT Sunshine]

It depends on the context of the rejection.

If it’s someone who randomly shot you down at a bar or something, they probably don’t even remember you. Go for it again if you feel like it. If it’s someone you’ve seen regularly who you asked out, say the barista at your regular coffee shop, I’d just ignore/be polite to them.

 

[rockstar]

If I meet a girl that I'm likely to see around a lot in the future (we go to the same place or have some friend in common), I'll often friendzone them first and start inviting them out to group things. This really depends a lot on the girl/situation though. At the very least, I'm not going to push as hard to make things happen if I think I'll have more chances.

Should i try one more time later?

If you mean over text/social media, then not if you'll see her in person more. You just have way more tools to game in person, so pinging her a lot over text is unnecessary. In person, however, definitely. Re-approaches often go better than the first time. Unless the girl just completely blew me off hard from the open, I always re-approach when I have the opportunity.

Having girls that you're just going to run into occasionally through life are some of my favorite game situations

 

[loolapaluza]

If I meet a girl that I'm likely to see around a lot in the future (we go to the same place or have some friend in common), I'll often friendzone them first and start inviting them out to group things. This really depends a lot on the girl/situation though. At the very least, I'm not going to push as hard to make things happen if I think I'll have more chances.

I really don`t wan`t to do that. I did it before and i get nothing. Now i prefer to make a little chit-chat + screening(general info,how old is she,boyfriends,where she lives,hobbies) and then i ask her out. Seems like girls react better now,at least i see more respect in their eyes.And i dont waste my time on girls who is not interested.
Still no pussy tho)
There was a bartender girl,i asked her out and she went cold(autorejection?).We never talked before,we saw each other several times in social group,she always give me strong eye contact and a little smile.
In a bar we make a little chit-chat and she was really happy when we talked ,but it was too loud there for long conversation,too much people and she was really busy,so i decided to ask her out,well because that was maybe my only chance.She blow me off.
We didn`t talk since then,but i ocassionally see how she stares at me.
Maybe i overthink things.
Sorry for my English

 

[Chase]

@loolapaluza,

There was a bartender girl,i asked her out and she went cold(autorejection?).We never talked before,we saw each other several times in social group,she always give me strong eye contact and a little smile.
In a bar we make a little chit-chat and she was really happy when we talked ,but it was too loud there for long conversation,too much people and she was really busy,so i decided to ask her out,well because that was maybe my only chance.She blow me off.
We didn`t talk since then,but i ocassionally see how she stares at me.

Wrong venue to ask her out in.

If you know her two places:

1. Her bar, where she has position power and you're just a customer, where she is at work, she is super busy, and where she is getting hit on by guys continuously and having to reject them, also where unless you are doing it in a very skilled way (and a short conversation because it's too loud followed by asking her out is not a very skilled way), you are going to come across exactly like every other guy hitting on her there, vs.
   
   
2. Social circle, where the two of you are likely to be on relatively even footing status-wise, it's a relaxed environment, neither of you is at work, she's not getting hit on excessively, it's not too loud to talk, and you have ample opportunity to chat her up and get to know her,

... you really need to try to be putting the moves on in place #2, not place #1.

The harder the venue, the tougher the competition, and the less differentiated you are there, the more you need to be extremely on-point.

But if you can meet her in social circle, you don't have to be Playboy of the Year... you can just chat her up socially, get to know her, and ask her out once the vibe is right.

Anyway, it happens. You do this stuff. I did it when I was in college... hot/busty girl always flirting with me in social circle, but I never tried taking a shot at her until I ran across her in a bar doing a wet t-shirt contest getting hit on by about a dozen other guys, lol. Same exact story as you; she ignored me and went cold on me after that. Learned my lesson well: don't ignore girls in venues it's easy to connect with them in then try to get those same girls later on in venues it's hard to connect with them in where they are getting hounded by other men!

Chase

 

[Chad Tyrone]

My question is-how should you treat a girls who rejected you?
I live in city with 300k people and from time to time ,ocasionally, i meet girls who rejected me. Baristas,bartender girls,waitresses,girls in gym,girls who know your friends and relatives and so on.
And it seems sometimes this bothers them even more than me. Usually i try play it cool,be polite and indifferent.
But some of them gone really cold on you after you ask them out ( i wonder why?).
Should i just ignore them?

Yeah ,why not ?I usually walk past them myself ...No hard feelings .Whether she rejected me or went cold on me ,I'll still end things on good terms and leave the door open if she changes her mind but there is zero effort on my part to move things forward again. It's now on her to revive the interaction and if she shows renewed interest in me i'll test for compliance more and more and let her win me over little by little. Normally though if she rejected you or went cold on you ,it's hardly likely that she will revive things ...girls who do are rare and may want a second chance with you due to preseletion or for any other reason.

So yeah ,there are always more women to meet.Go meet the ones that want you and ignore those who don't .

Of note :you ain't bitter ...as much as you want things to progress with the chicks you meet , you still are detached from the outcome of the interaction .You ain't gonna chase her down either .At higher levels, it is good to see if you can turn things around with chicks it went south with but trust me it's lower odds and you don't have to beat yourself up if you don't pull a feat from the jaws of defeat .

Chalk it up as a loss and put the numbers in regardless.Game will always remain a numbers game, I don't care how good you are.

For chicks going cold on you after you ask them out ...I presume you mean ghosting .Treat it like it never happened .Still play things as if you would if she never ghosted you in the first place .

If you mean they go cold on you for just asking them out then you may be doing something wrong

In a bar we make a little chit-chat and she was really happy when we talked ,but it was too loud there for long conversation,too much people and she was really busy,so i decided to ask her out,well because that was maybe my only chance.She blow me off.

Don't ask girls out in front of other people or even her friends

Hope this helps
Chad

 

[loolapaluza]

@Chase
Yeah,i have a same thoughts as you,but,theres always "but":

Social circle, where the two of you are likely to be on relatively even footing status-wise, it's a relaxed environment, neither of you is at work, she's not getting hit on excessively, it's not too loud to talk, and you have ample opportunity to chat her up and get to know her,

i saw her in social sircle 2 or 3 times,and thats it,shes gone. After a while(about 3 months later) a saw her as a bartender-apprentice,that was one of the reasons why i asked her out.
So i guess the pattern is:
Rejected-be polite and indifferent,wait for IOI

Don't ask girls out in front of other people or even her friends

Yeah,the problem is always somebody nearby

 

[Chase]

@Chase
Yeah,i have a same thoughts as you,but,theres always "but":

i saw her in social sircle 2 or 3 times,and thats it,shes gone. After a while(about 3 months later) a saw her as a bartender-apprentice,that was one of the reasons why i asked her out.

Oh, okay. Makes sense then.

Though be sure to take the lesson for social circle: especially with peripheral social circle, sometimes you only get a few shots. Take 'em while you can, unless you know you can delay..

So i guess the pattern is:
Rejected-be polite and indifferent,wait for IOI

That's one way.

It's not the only one though:

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Chase