Girls with BFs

[Zeus]

Hello gents,

There's this women I'm pursuing who seems to be showing a lot of interest in me. But she also has a BF. And she knows I know this. How should I proceed? Should I ask her out on a date as per usual, or is there more of a nuance to it?

Much appreciated,
Zeus

 

[Ken]

Zeus,

Stop pursuing this girl, work on your fundamentals and talk to a lot more girls. At this point, you're an orbiter, and an orbiter is not something you want to be. I have a ton of experience being an orbiter, and it sucks.

First off, the orbiter competes with the girl's boyfriend for the boyfriend role, and that is a battle you cannot and will not win. Plus, most orbiters never have sex, or worse, never go on a date with the girl they're orbiting. If you want this girl, cut off all communication with her, work on yourself, and maybe she will be more ineterested in you.

 

[Zeus]

As of right now, she seems to be showing lot's of interest in me. It's possible that I'm getting caught up in reactions and meaningless flirting. But for now, let's assume I'm not. Given that this is the case, my question is...is the process for sleeping with a girl who's "spoken for" different than that which we would use for a girl who's single?

To put it in GC terms, she's most certainly "interested" in me. My only question is whether or not she's "available" (there are plenty of girls who are attracted to men outside of a relationship, but are committed and unwilling to cheat on their BF)

work on your fundamentals and talk to a lot more girls.

Well ofc. She's certainly not the only girl I'm talking to. And she knows that too. I only ask specifically about her because I've never been with a girl who's in a relationship and I value her friendship enough that I don't want to ruin it by making a bold but also perhaps uncalibrated move (like trying to escalate with her when she has a BF). Because of this, I'm unsure of how to approach this.

 

[normajean106]

Everything Ken said was 100% correct.

And remember, reactions are NOT results. They're fun and uplifting (for lack of a better term), but they won't get you anywhere.

IMO, reactions are built off of emotion. And we all know that most women are betrayed by their emotions. So its cute when you have a girl twirling her hair and smiling at you with a big stupid grin, but remember that they could be doing this for an entirely different purpose then what we think. For example, I once had a girl touch my butt and feel my bicep (two separate stories that are too boring to get into), but she had a boyfriend that had every advantage over me, and she was really just doing this for her own personal validation (I was basically just an orbiter).

I know you don't want to hear this, but you should know that reactions are nice, but they aren't the same as results.

 

[Eternity]

Hello gents,

There's this women I'm pursuing who seems to be showing a lot of interest in me. But she also has a BF. And she knows I know this. How should I proceed? Should I ask her out on a date as per usual, or is there more of a nuance to it?

Much appreciated,
Zeus

Go into more detail... Some taken women want to cheat, nothing new. Sometimes, all you have to do is escalate the interaction.

 

[Zeus]

Eternity,

I'm sorry for the late response. I did not see the updates to this post until just now.

Everyone,
This situation has been resolved. I tried to escalate with her, but she pulled away. She told me she actually liked me a lot, and that if she was single, she would be very interested in me. But she's loyal to her BF and that she's unwilling to cheat on him.


Regardless, I thank you all for your feedback.

 

[Eternity]

How did she say it? Matter of fact or sad with puppy eyes? If the latter try again sometime in the future but fast, escalation window will close and then its game over. Let her pussy warm up in your presence and that is when you act. Or next her and game on. Up to you...

 

[normajean106]

How did she say it? Matter of fact or sad with puppy eyes? If the latter try again sometime in the future but fast, escalation window will close and then its game over. Let her pussy warm up in your presence and that is when you act. Or next her and game on. Up to you...

Well you have to be careful here because she actually might love her boyfriend. If that's the case then it would be better to not get in her pants.

Plus, Zeus has an uphill battle now. Even if she doesn't love her boyfriend, it's likely that he's going to ruin his chances with her completely if he makes the wrong move. I think it would be better for him to move on to other girls for now and maybe come back and try again later with her.